(Hey guys! So this smutty little fic comes from this prompt: A CHARACTER GAINS SOMETHING THEY DESIRE, BUT KNOWS THEY WILL LOSE IT AGAIN. This is my first time writing true smut so I would love some feedback! JJ/Hotch, rough sex, possessive sex)

I knew from the beginning that it's a bad idea. NO, bad doesn't even begin to cover it. It is a terrible, horrible, no good can possibly come from this plan. But that never stopped me before. I doubt it ever will.

It started simply enough. There were brief moments, in the midst of a group when Aaron's dark eyes would hold mine for a moment longer than was strictly professional. There were small, almost tender conversations at the end of a long day where he would smile and I thought my heart would leap from my chest. But mainly, there were the feather soft touches. His fingers would ghost across my back as he walked by. He would instinctively grasp my elbow as if to make sure that I was a real flesh and blood person and not a figment of his imagination. And then there was the nightclub.

It happened one night in late August, years ago now. It had been a long tough case that had somehow managed to end happily- well, as happily as one get's in our line of work. The jet had touched down in Virginia and Garcia had implored everyone to go out. She reasoned that everyone had worked hard and we needed to celebrate this small victory. Almost everyone had tried to duck out but she had been insistent. So at six, we all left the BAU, agreeing to meet up at a nightclub downtown a few hours later. As I showered and changed into a dress, I longed to just sit on the couch and watch TV in peace. My DVR had dutifully recorded all of my favorite shows and I didn't feel like talking to anyone. But I had promised Garcia.

The club was dark with bright lights flashing and twirling on the dance floor. The bass pounded and made it hard to talk to each other, so we mainly just drank in solitude. Everyone was having fun. Then Morgan and Garcia went to go dance. Moments later a guy invited Emily to join him on the floor and she followed. Rossi drained his drink and bid us all a goodnight, realizing that this was probably his only chance to slip out. Which left me, Spence, and Hotch. Spence prattled on about something that I couldn't quite hear, but was definitely not interested in; the long lasting effects of loud music on hearing ability, or the historical implications of social drinking. Hotch silently sipped his bourbon, flickering his glance between us and the people in the club.

I was debating how angry Garcia would be if I followed Rossi's lead when he approached the table. Tall, blonde, and tan, he seemed very sure of himself. He asked me to dance and I placed my hand in his. As he led me to the throng of people, I glanced over my shoulder at our booth. Spence smiled blithely on while Hotch seemed… upset? His mouth was pulled into a tight line, his jaw set. His eyes were fixed squarely on me and I returned his gaze with what I can only imagine was total confusion. But then a tug on my hand caught my attention, and I turned away from the booth.

Once on the floor, the man positioned himself behind me, whispering in my ear that his name was Matt. He placed a hand on my stomach, holding my body flush against his. This sort of action would not have flown with me on a normal night. However, the drinks in my system and the smell of his cologne and the feel of his muscle against my mine felt good in the summer heat. So I placed my hand on top of his and began to grind back into him. Several songs passed. I found myself lost in the atmosphere of the night, of this random man who did not know who I was or the awful things I had to see every day.

Suddenly I was struck with the realization that I needed to find a restroom, and soon. I disentangled myself from Matt with a promise to return. I picked my way through the crowd towards where I vaguely remember there being a bathroom. Entering a hallway I could only see the men's, before finding the women's further down, tucked around the corner. I let myself in and took care of business, stopping at the sink to splash some cool water on my flushed cheeks.

As I left the bathroom, I only made it a few steps before feeling the strong hands grip my waist. I am pulled backwards and pushed against a wall. My training instincts finally overcome the tequila and rum and I go to break the asshole in front of me's nose when one of the hands moves to block my blow and I find myself face to face with my boss.

We stand still, his hand gripping my wrist for a few moments before my brain catches up to my new surroundings.

"Hotch what- what are you doing?"

"Who is that guy?" His dark eyes are boring into me, and I can't make myself not stare back.

"What guy? The… The guy I was dancing with? Uh, some random guy. Why?"

"His hands were all over you."

I feel anger begin to course it's way through my veins, only serving to strengthen the buzz of alcohol. "Well what the hell do you care?"

We're close enough that I can see him clench his jaw. "You're an FBI agent, you should be more careful."

I can't help but scoff. "Oh because being in the FBI makes a difference? I'm sure Emily is cozied up to some guy somewhere. Hell, Rossi probably already has wife # 4 at his house as we speak. We're off the clock, it doesn't matter. Go lecture one of them." I attempt to pull my arm from his grasp but he squeezes tighter.

"They're not you."

My heart is thudding in my chest. "And what's so special about me?"

The hand on my hip moves to the nape of my neck and then his mouth is crashing into mine. It's hard and searching. I'm not thinking straight, inhibited by the alcohol and the smell of Aaron Hotchner assaulting my senses. Our tongues fight for dominance and his hand tangles in my hair. I bite his lip and he responds my pulling sharply on my hair, yanking my face upwards and away. I gasp at the pain in my scalp and then his mouth has latched onto the skin covering my pulse point and I can't think at all. My mind is enraptured by the man in front of me. His mouth leaves my neck and he rests his forehead against my own, both of us gasping for breath. He reaches to the side and yanks open the door to the women's bathroom, pulling me inside with him.

This is what finally pulls me from my stupor. I stare up at him, his face shadowy and angular in the flickering fluorescent lighting.

"What are you doing?" My own voice sounds foreign to me in this small space.

"You don't know. You really have no fucking clue." I can't help but raise an eyebrow.

"I don't know what?" I snap back.

He takes a step closer. "The way you make people feel. Men. Me."

I can't breathe. "You? I… What about you?"

He takes another step forward an I am forced to take a step back. He steps forward again and I find myself pressed against the tile wall. He places a hand on the wall above my head and leans down, so close that I can feel his hot breath on my skin. "Me. Every day. I see you walk around, completely unaware that I want nothing more than to do this." His nose skims along my jaw before placing a hot wet kiss on my pulse point. "And this." The hand not propping him up ghosts along the front of my abdomen, before cupping my breast through the dress. I take in a sharp breath that becomes a moan when he gives it a hard squeeze, sending shivers down my spine. "And this." He lifts the hand from the wall and brings it around to palm my ass. The hand on my chest snakes around to my lower back and he pulls my body flush with his own. My eyes flutter closed at the feel of his body pressing me into the cold tile. He massages my ass cheek before giving it a slight slap.

"H- Hotch, we shouldn't um, we- Hotch." I stammer out, trying to be the voice of reason.

He kisses me fiercely, teeth clicking against each other as fist my hands in his short hair. He kisses his way across my cheek towards my ear. "What JJ? You're willing to fuck some guy you meet in a club, and I'm not good enough?" He nips my earlobe with his teeth and my knees turn to jelly.

"Hotch I- ohhh Aaron." I moan out his name as one of his hands finds its way under the hem of my dress to cup me through my underwear. The feel of my boss's hand against the soft lace of my unmentionables, surely able to feel the wetness collecting there is my undoing. I know it's not a good decision, mixing pleasure and work never is, but as I feel him press himself more firmly against me I know that I cannot stop. Not now.

My hands find the buttons of his shirt and quickly undo them, pushing it from his shoulders. His hands scrape at the back of my dress, searching for a zipper. I push him away from me, then grab the hem, pulling the entire thing over my head. His mouth is instantly on mine again, his nimble fingers make quick work of my bra clasp and it joins the growing heap of clothes littering the ground. He kisses down my throat, finally pulling one my nipples into his mouth and sucking hard. I respond by moaning and raking my fingernails down his back. He hisses at the sting and pinches my other nipple. I'm short of breath and seeing stars and we both still have our underwear on.

I move my hands to his belt buckle and undo it, popping the button and unzipping the fly. His mouth leaves my breast with a pop as my hand snakes inside his underwear. His breathing turns ragged as I pull him out and start to stroke him. His hands fall on my shoulders and he applies a slight pressure. I look in his eyes and see a taunt. Will I or won't I? I meet his gaze evenly and drop to my knees. I keep eye contact with him as I slowly drag my tongue across his tip, already dripping with precum. As I take him fully into my mouth his head falls back and his hands tangle in my long blonde hair.

"JJ… Jen, oh fuck." I would be lying if I said that seeing the always in control Aaron Hotchner crack his composure didn't feel me with a sense of power. I bobbed up and down, taking time to gently massage his balls with my hand.

"Jen I'm.. I'm-" He uses his hold on my hair to pull me away from him and guide me back onto my feet. Our mouths crash together again and he spins us around, backs me up until I can feel the counter against my back. His strong hands grasp my waist and lift me until I am sitting. Our mouths still connected, he leans me backwards towards the mirror, grabs the back of my underwear and pulls them down my body, stuffing them into his pocket once they clear my heels.

My hips are pulled forward until I am at the edge. He pushes my legs farther apart, one long finger teasing my slit. Without warning, he pushes the digit all the way in and I tear my lips from his, letting out a low moan. He pushes it in and out a few times before adding a second finger. I'm gasping for breath as I begin to see stars.

His mouth finds me ear again. "Do you like the feel of that Jen? Hmm? My fingers inside of you? Fucking you like every man in this whole goddamned club wanted to?" I try to place my hands on either side of his face, but he quickly grabs both wrists, pinning them against the mirror above my head. "Would you have let that guy out there do this?" He added a third finger and my body feels like it's going to explode.

He abruptly pulls his fingers from inside of me and brings them to my mouth, forcing me taste myself on him. Then he drops to his knees in front of me. His lips attach to my clit and I cry out. Then he begins to flick back and forth over it as his fingers find their way inside me once more. My hands fist in his hair and my nails scrape his scalp. I feel myself climbing higher and higher. Then his fingers curl inside of me as he bites down hard on my inner thigh and I cum violently. He licks me, gathering every last drop.

I barely have a moment to recover before he kisses me fiercely. His hand grips my hip hard and he pushes roughly inside of me. I'm still sensitive from my orgasm, so sensitive that the contact is almost painful. My eyes roll back as he begins a furious pace.

"I've wanted to fuck from the first moment I saw you. I knew I wanted to fist my hands in your blonde hair, see those pretty lips around my dick, feel these luscious thighs against mine." He gave said thighs a squeeze. "You're so fucking sexy Jen. You're everything." I'm close, and I can tell my breathing that he is too.

"I've wanted this too, Aaron Every day." I pant into his ear.

His fingers my find my clit and he circles it furiously. "Cum, JJ. Now." And with that, I begin to convulse around him. He pumps a few more times before following me. We rest for a moment, chests heaving, our bare skin sticky with sweat. Then he pulls out and fixes his pants. In a daze, I slide from the counter. He hands me my bra and dress and we both get dressed. I smooth my hair in the mirror and see him reach for the door.

"Wait." I say. "My panties." I hold my hand out expectantly.

He gazes at me for a moment before pulling open the door. "No."

I stare after him for a second before shaking myself from my daze. I follow him back into the crowded nightclub. When I get back to the table, I can hear him telling the team that he had stepped out for some air.

"The line for the ladies' room is ridiculous! I had to stand in line for like twenty minutes!" I say to explain my absence. Everyone nods and I thank the stars that no one questions me further.

We never discuss it. We share the touches and the stares throughout the day but words never leave his lips. Part of me knows that this is for the best. Part of me wishes it could be something more. But I know Aaron. I know we can't be together any other way.

Of course, it doesn't stop there. A few weeks passed, and then a few months, before I once again find myself tangled up with him, this time in a hotel room at a conference. And each time his hands are on my waist or in my hair I tell myself that it's better this way. It's okay to relish these stolen moments, especially when I know I will lose him again when it's done.

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