NCIS is somebody's else's, probably Bellisarius Productions/Paramount/CBS.

Author's Note: AU. Spoilers for Season 4, 5 and some mild nods to 13. Includes major canon character deaths in that period. Kind of writing exercise to recover from a writing hiatus due to real life issues. Hope you enjoy.

Pairings: Tony/Jeanne, mentions of Gibbs/Holly, Gibbs/Jenny, Abby/Cade, Abby/Tim, Palmer/Michelle. Team/Tony friendship.

Too Many Shoes

Tony turns down Rota.

He doesn't regret it.

Gibbs is still recovering – that much is clear even without the moustache which basically says it all without Gibbs having to say a thing. Tony is always impressed with Leroy Jethro Gibbs's ability to shout something out loud without talking and this is no exception. Tony could have done without the Alpha Dog tactics Gibbs has employed since his return though even if they have shouted out Gibbs's need for everything to return to the normality he remembers best, despite Gibbs himself acting just a little off because he can't quite remember the details.

Tony shrugs as he swirls the wine around the glass and settles onto the piano stool. He absently picks out some notes with his free hand before setting the glass on the top of the piano and beginning to play. The music settles him and he lets his thoughts drift.

He'd been a solid leader. Not outstanding or exceptional. But good enough.

"You'll do."

He smiles, bittersweet at the memory. He knows Gibbs meant it sincerely as a compliment, a validation that Tony was trusted to step up; was good enough to step up. The Gibbs's seal of approval.

Sure, he'd have preferred the more explicit confirmation Gibbs had given McGee but he liked to think while he was insecure about where he belonged, if he belonged, (and thanks Senior for the childhood which had led to that particular quirk), he wasn't insecure about his work.

He was a damned good investigator.

An excellent undercover cop.

And an OK leader.

Tony stopped playing and took a sip of his drink.

He'd do better next time. He still had doubts about that first case they'd done but Shepard had signed off; the prosecution had signed off…maybe he still had doubts because it had been his first case as leader. He'd been too aware he wasn't Gibbs, either trying to be too like him or too different from him to find the right groove. He'd just about got it when Gibbs had turned up again.

But that was OK.

Tony still felt like he could learn a lot from Gibbs. Working with him for the past five years had been some of the hardest work Tony had ever done, but also some of the best. Gibbs pushed him; challenged him; made him compete to be the best. Tony needed that. He'd missed it when Gibbs had been gone. Even the Director's semi-maternalistic mentorship of her newest team lead hadn't exactly filled the gap.

The demotion back to Senior Field Agent probably should smart more than it does. On a professional level, Tony has always been prepared for it though. Legally, he'd effectively been seconded to the supervisory position rather than appointed; the Director justifying the secondment as a way to get around the HR process on appointing which would have demanded a review of all possible candidates and not just the one Gibbs had singled out (or in hindsight a way to keep Gibbs's seat warm for him since she hadn't actually processed his papers). On a personal level, he's disappointed on one hand, (he'd gotten used to being in charge and had liked being in charge), and happy to see Gibbs recovering on the other. And maybe there's a little anger and frustration at the way Gibbs had come back simmering in the mix but Tony didn't want to dwell on that since it would probably just lead him to act like an ass.

Like McGee.

Tony rolls his eyes and takes another sip of wine before resuming his piano playing.

Probie has not taken the reordering of the team back to its previous formation well. He'd lashed out and well, Tony can't blame him for being angry about returning back to the most junior position in the team and feeling hard done by. Tony feels for Tim enough to forgive him the crack about not deserving his own team (well, maybe there'll be some superglue involved in McGee's immediate future but that's only fair), but not badly enough to take Rota so McGee can continue to have his ego stroked by being the Senior Field Agent of the NCIS MCRT – a position which the Director had made clear was a temporary assignment until things settled (which in hindsight had been code for 'until Gibbs returns') since McGee doesn't meet some of the mandatory criteria. McGee will just have to adjust.

McGee doesn't adjust to change very well. Tony snorts. It had taken a while before McGee had accepted the change of leadership post Gibbs and his sharp complaints had softened into teasing banter. But he hadn't been the only one to have difficulties. Abby and Ducky had both reacted to the loss of Gibbs with reactions that were less than the professionalism Tony had expected.

Tony had let it go because they've known and worked with Gibbs for longer than he has and have places in Gibbs's life (Donald Mallard is the wise old friend who Gibbs looks to for counsel when he wants to look; forensic scientist extraordinaire Abby Scuito has always been the favourite – and Tony wonders now just how much of Gibbs's own daughter Gibbs sees in the Goth). He'd tried his best to support them through the loss and swallowed down the sense of unfairness that no one seemed bothered about how Tony felt about the sudden departure of his mentor and friend.

OK. Maybe he is hurt about that.

Tony grimaces and lets the music fade away.

Jimmy Palmer had been the only one who'd even asked Tony if he was OK when Gibbs had gone and the only one to ask if he's OK now Gibbs was back; who'd stepped up to offer Tony support and a sounding board. Jimmy is a good man. Kooky and a little socially clumsy but a good man.

Tony won't forget that.

He frowns as his mind slid to the one member of the team he hasn't thought about in his ramblings: Officer Ziva David.

Of all of the team Ziva had been the one who had seemed to actually have the least problems with his assumption of leadership. That had been a surprise because of the power games she'd played when she'd joined the team. When using her sexuality to seduce him into trusting her hadn't worked, she had deliberately left him out of a team dinner to assert her own dominance. It had hurt but he hadn't given way on his own place as Gibbs's second. But after Gibbs had left, beyond pushing the occasional boundary on her time-keeping (never a strength anyway) and submitting reports which sometimes slid into Hebrew (which were easily tossed back for correction), she had quietly seemed to accept Tony was lead.

She'd even requested help in expanding her knowledge of popular culture which had led to semi-regular nights watching movies or old television shows – sometimes with McGee or Abby but more often than not just the two of them. He suspects that she had requested it because she'd needed some way of trying to forge a bond between them since the bond she'd forged with Gibbs was no longer of use (and did they really think anyone with a brain didn't know Ziva had been the one to shoot Ari?) and she needed him not to argue about her being on the team. But still…he'd thought they'd made some progress.

And then she'd ran to Gibbs when she'd gotten into trouble.

Tony snorts.

He'd have run to Gibbs.

He gets up, snagging the glass off the top of the piano and makes his way back over to his couch. He lets himself sink into the cushions, resting his head on the back and staring up at the ceiling.

Ziva has been quick to reassert herself with Gibbs's return. Power games again. Mostly they seem to consist of complaining about how bad Tony is-was as a leader, couched in what he thinks she thinks is a teasing tone.

He sighs and blinks tiredly at the ceiling again.

He mostly gets where his team is coming from. Ziva thinks she needs to play loyalty games to secure her own position; McGee lashes out at Tony because he isn't about to lash out at Gibbs; Ducky and Abby are focused on their own relationships with Gibbs to see beyond to Tony. And Gibbs…well, Gibbs needs to feel in charge again.

It isn't personal.

It's annoying and hurtful and unfair.

But it isn't personal.

And Tony isn't going to bail on his team when they need him.

Even if they don't know they need him.

At least the Director knows.

The thought arrests him for a long moment.

The Director.

Jennifer Shepard.

She who has praised him as a leader during the last few months of Gibbs's absence without once telling him that she hadn't processed Gibbs's papers. She who flatters him about his work and invites him into a closer relationship with suggestions to call her Jenny. She who has offered him a position in Rota as a consolation prize (but one he is certain she knew he wouldn't take).

He wonders what she wants because Tony isn't blind to the fact she's manipulating him (and thanks to Senior for forcing Tony to learn that particular survival skill simply by Senior being Senior).

But what's the Director after?

He had thought Jenny's interest in him was about getting more control of the MCRT – he knew he was green as a leader despite his years of investigative experience. But she had mostly let him run the team without interference – in fact less interference than he'd witnessed when Gibbs was leader.

And he's already involved in the operation on Le Grenouille; spent time in Europe at Interpol learning everything he can while his team thought he was at a conference. He now knows everything there is to know about the French arms dealer who sells to the highest bidders including terrorists.

According to Jenny, they'd come across a connection to him in a case of stolen Navy ammunitions months ago. Tony's been drafted occasionally to do some low level surveillance and undercover on the rare occasions the dealer comes to the US, building a cover at the airport so he can be there at the perfect moment to lay down tracking devices.

So if she doesn't want to interfere and he's already on the op she wants his help on, what is her game?

He pushes himself off the couch and heads for bed.

It's a question for another day. He's tired and tomorrow he faces another day of fencing with Ziva, parrying barbs with McGee and dancing around Gibbs's territorial pissing contest.

The other shoe will drop in its own good time.

o-O-o

The other shoe drops at the end of their next case.

Tony has a headache – thank you Mike Franks – and a sense of disgust at the vigilante take down and cover-up they've ended up involved in (and seriously, did anyone really expect them to swallow the story Franks had concocted to cover his ass?)

The Director meets him at a bar downtown and hands him a folder. Inside are pictures of a pretty woman; petite, brunette, medical if the doctor's coat is an indication. She's beautiful.

And Tony recognises her and knows where this is going.

"Jeanne Benoit." Jenny tells him brightly. "She's the Frog's daughter."

The Frog.

Le Grenouille.

This looks to be a step-up from his airport luggage guy cover.

A honey-trap.

With Tony as the honey.

"Interpol indicated none of Le Grenouille's children are involved in the arms dealing." Tony says casually, slipping the photos back into the folder.

"She's benefitted from the money." Jenny says dryly. "Premier boarding school; finishing school in Switzerland; best university education for her medical degree and a substantial charity donation to the hospital which employs her. He pays her rent."

Tony lets his fingers rest on the folder. "But she's not directly involved."

Jenny reluctantly shakes her head, light bouncing off the copper strands. "She's a way in. A long shot on our long shot."

Tony knows why she's put this in front of him. It won't be the first time he's ended up romancing a daughter to get to a father; he'd done it before in Philly to bring down a mob boss. Of course, the delectable Danielle Macaluso had been an enforcer in her Daddy's inner circle. She'd been shot by a rival mob boss three months into Tony's op. Mike had adopted him as a son in the wake of her death. This looks to be a whole other kettle of fish.

Jeanne Benoit may have benefitted from her father's crimes but she isn't part of them.

Tony frowns. "Are you sure this is the right play?"

"He's a devoted father. He'll check out his daughter's boyfriend sooner or later and when he does, you can cultivate a relationship; get close and get the information we need to bring him down." Jenny expands.

"That could take months." Tony notes.

Jenny takes a gulp of her drink. Her knuckles are white with tension as she grips the glass. "Like I said a long shot on our long shot. Unfortunately I can't justify pulling you onto it twenty-four seven but I don't think that will be a problem with the background story and Benoit's hours at the hospital."

Well if Tony didn't know something was off before, he knows now for certain. Most long term undercover operations don't generally have the operative still working as a federal agent during the day.

He taps the folder. He has to think about this more but not in front of her.

He smiles brightly. "When do we start?"

He doesn't miss the bright flare of satisfaction that lights up her eyes.

Back at his apartment, he reads over the folder and lines up the grainy surveillance pictures of Jeanne Benoit across his breakfast bar.

She's the daughter of an arms dealer.

She's been raised on the blood money her father has earned.

But does she know or is she really as clueless as everything suggests she is? And if she really is clueless, how can the Director justify an undercover op which will take advantage of an innocent woman? Yes, undercovers can be morally questionable but this draws a line Tony has never thought he'd have to cross.

He's going to have to sleep with her eventually.

And regardless of what his reputation might be (and yes, the reputation he has taken great pains to cultivate), Tony's always had strong rules about consent; about both parties being up front about what they're doing and being enthusiastically on board. This has such a huge consent issue it turns Tony's stomach. After all, what woman in her right mind would honestly consent to have sex with a man pretending to be in love with her just to get close to her father? The fallout once Jeanne Benoit finds out will be devastating for her.

And Tony needs to really think about that.

But what choice does he have?

The Director doesn't look like she's going to drop this any time soon. And if Tony doesn't do the op, she'll find someone else who will. Which will just mean someone else, someone perhaps without Tony's concerns, will get involved with Doctor Benoit.

So, he's going to have to do this.

But that doesn't mean he's going to turn a blind eye to how weird this whole operation set-up actually is. He needs to start investigating that.

And protect Doctor Benoit as much as he can as Film Professor Tony DiNardo.

While doing his day job as Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo.

Yep.

This was definitely the shoe he was waiting to drop.

o-O-o

Could there be more than just the other shoe?

Maybe there's a whole shoe shop just waiting to drop.

Tony pokes morosely at his Chinese noodles and finally pushes the box away to the far side of his desk, taking in the empty bullpen and dimmed lighting with a frown. He turns back to the report he's writing and reads back through the events of the day; the reveal of who had attacked McGee's sister and killed her ex.

It's been a hell of a day for the McGee family. Tony has always known McGee had a sister. Not that Tim had ever said anything but Tony always does his homework on his partners (well, since Danny – once bitten…). It's why he knew about four wives when Gibbs was only admitting to three. But that's OK. He's never felt the need to poke at people about the stuff they don't tell him or reveal he knew all along.

Except with Kate.

Caitlyn Todd.

He misses her every day. He misses sparring with her more. She might have even gotten Tony to give up his own secrets in time.

Jeanne kind of reminds him of Kate. There's the intelligence and sharp tongue; the good humour lurking underneath the surface. There's the way she looks at him as though she knows there's more than the masks he wears.

Of course, Jeanne is oblivious that the first mask is his undercover persona. Tony DiNardo is the guy Tony might have been if his love of film hadn't been outweighed by his need to be a cop, to save people. There's also a lot of real Tony in the mix because it makes it easier jumping between himself and DiNardo every day. And harder. Tony's beginning to feel the cracks forming in the thin barrier he's maintaining between himself and his undercover personality.

Sex is going to take the messy situation to a whole new level though. He grimaces reminded of the way the Director had pretty much encouraged him just to go for it despite how Tony had reported within his first four weeks with Jeanne that it's clear that, not only is Jeanne not involved in her father's business, she clearly has no idea what he actually does.

His heart aches a little for Jeanne because it's not going to end well.

His cell vibrates and he checks it, grimacing at the text; the name of a bar.

He's done with the report.

Truthfully, he was done hours ago but he figured it was better to wait at the Yard for the text then head home. He snags the copy of Deep Six Ziva had dropped on his desk earlier, submits the report to Gibbs and heads out.

He drives to a bar in one of the seedier sides of town, taking his time and making sure he hasn't picked up a tail. He takes a moment to send a text to Jeanne from DiNardo; she's working a late shift but it'll make her smile that her boyfriend has remembered her.

He saunters into the bar and orders two beers. There's dim lighting hiding most of the booths; a desultory game of pool over in one corner. The air is heavy with the smell of booze, sweat and smoke.

Tony pays, picks up the drinks and heads to the far booth. He sets the beers down and slides in.

"Took your time." Franks growls.

Tony raises an eyebrow and picks up his beer. He only takes a small sip. Franks is a wily old bastard and Tony will need his wits.

"I'll say this you've got a set of balls on you calling me the way you did, kid." Franks stabs his cigarette out in the overflowing ashtray. The light catches his eyes for a second and Tony thinks he sees a glimpse of approval there.

It had taken balls to call Franks and basically blackmail him into helping. Knowing someone had committed murder was a big doozy of a secret after all.

"Desperate times." Tony murmurs.

"Ain't that the truth." Franks huffs. He slaps an envelope on the table and shoves it across the scarred wood.

Tony puts his beer down and peeks inside the envelope.

"Colonel Jasper Shepard was under investigation for taking a bribe from an arms dealer when he shot himself." Franks snaps out, reaching for his pack and pulling out another cigarette.

There's a flare of light from the match and a second later he blows out a stream of smoke.

"His death was ruled a suicide; the investigator believed Shepard was guilty and couldn't face his crimes." Tony replies. That much is public record. Well, public if you knew where to look. Tony had done his homework.

"Your pretty little Director doesn't think so."

"That it was suicide or that he took the bribe?" Tony questioned.

"Both." Franks sucks in another lungful of nicotine. "Guess who the arms dealer was."

"Le Grenouille." Tony states dryly.

He'd already had problems tracking down the case which Jenny had claimed had shown a connection; the reason why the arms dealer had ended up on the NCIS radar and the operation begun months before. Jenny had it sealed and flagged. He wonders if it's real and she used it or if it's part of her plot.

"Got it in one, kid," Franks says, "she's gunning for him."

And she isn't bothered who she takes down on the way.

Tony figures her disregard for Jeanne is some latent anger at Jeanne's father; why would Jenny go out of her way to prevent harm to Le Grenouille's daughter when Le Grenouille had played a part in her father's death and shown her no such consideration? It also makes Tony wonder what Jenny thinks about him. Does it concern her at all that Tony could get hurt or killed in her game? No. She only cares about Tony for what he brings to the table; his undercover skills. All the flattery and pseudo-friendship is nothing more than a manipulation so he'll be grateful for her support in the face of Gibbs's departure and return; so he won't look further.

Tony takes a swallow of beer.

"Think you might need something a little stronger than that." Franks comments. He gestures at the envelope. "Le Grenouille is a CIA asset; has been for a while."

So the Director's tilting at windmills. The CIA won't let NCIS arrest their asset.

Tony fingers the file. He'll read it somewhere safe.

"You're in over your head, boy." Franks states caustically.

"Tell me something I don't know." Tony throws back. He raises the envelope. "Thanks for the information."

He makes to slide out.

"You should tell him." Franks picks up his beer finally and takes a long swallow. "He'll be pissed if you don't."

Tony grins, a smile that's all teeth and no humour. "He'll be pissed if I do."

Gibbs is a wildcard sometimes. There's something unresolved between his Boss and Shepard and Tony's still not certain enough Gibbs is all the way back in recovering his wreck of a memory.

Franks gives a snort of laughter. "Yeah, you got that right."

Tony manages a sloppy salute and then he's gone. Back into the fresh air which he drags into his lungs with relief. Back to his car and a drive…somewhere out of state where he'll read the information Franks has pulled together for him and see just how much of the shoe shop is ready to drop on his head.

o-O-o

The cabin is perfect for a romantic get-away. It's located in Shenandoah, tucked away from the usual tourist trails.

Jeanne gets out his Mustang with a grin on her face and stretches. "This is great, Tony." Her eyes twinkle with anticipation.

He knows she thinks he's brought her here to take their relationship to the next level. He'd almost given in when he'd thought about going to her during their last case; a serial killer whose crimes had made him want to seek out comfort, lose himself in something normal. Only the knowledge of how utterly screwed up the whole situation is had made him stay at home and call her instead.

"Let's get inside." Tony's already moving around to retrieve their bags and the groceries they've picked up.

Jeanne skips over to assist and it doesn't seem like five minutes pass before they've got the groceries stored and…

Jeanne kisses him passionately.

He kisses back, not immune to the way her hands are tugging on his shirt, reaching for the top button. He clasps her hand and stops her before she can get further.

She gives an unhappy sound and pulls back. "Come on, Tony! You're not really going to stop this now when you've brought me all the way out here and…" her voice trails away as he holds her gaze steady and serious.

"I need to talk to you first." Tony says firmly. He takes a deep breath. "To tell you something."

Jeanne stares at him for a long moment before she nods slowly. "I'm listening."

He leads her over to the sitting area and he gestures for her to sit. He lopes back to his bag and pulls out the file he'd secreted there. He hands it to her and sits on the coffee table in front of her, waiting.

Jeanne takes a sharp breath inward as her eyes fall on the surveillance pictures of her father. "What is this?"

Tony taps the folder. "Read it."

Finding out the truth about her father is going to hurt her. He can't help that. But he can minimise the hurt. He can stop her from feeling betrayed by a man she wants to welcome into her bed, into her body.

She throws the file down and leaps up. She storms over to the fireplace behind him. He casts a look over his shoulder. She's staring at the picture of the park over the mantelpiece; her jaw is tight, her lips a thin line. She's crossed her arms protectively over her chest. She's vibrating with emotion.

"Who are you?" She demands without looking at him.

Tony changes position to face her. "Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo."

She winces, closing her eyes briefly before opening them to spear him with a look of distaste. "You lied to me."

"Yes." He doesn't deny it.

"I guess I should thank you for not just going ahead and screwing me." Jeanne says crudely, but he sees the flicker of shame in her eyes.

"You're a beautiful, intelligent woman, Jeanne." Tony says. "Under any other circumstance, it would be an honour to be with you." He could see himself falling for her in truth. She's exactly his type. "You don't have anything to thank me for; I'm just sorry this has happened at all."

She swallows as she registers his sincerity.

"My father…" Jeanne finally turns to look at him.

"He's a criminal." Tony states without equivocation. "He trades in arms to terrorists and hostile nations."

"But he works for the CIA now?" Jeanne asks desperately.

"As part of the deal he made to avoid jail time." Tony confirms.

Jeanne huffs out a breath and turns away to the picture again. She shakes her head. "I can't believe it."

"Yes, you can." Tony says quietly. She's smart as a whip.

"Mom used to say not to ask questions and Pierre never speaks to him, but I never..." Jeanne murmurs. She sighs and turns around. "Why are you telling me this?"

"I was sent undercover to seduce you so I can get close to your father." Tony explains succinctly. "My Director doesn't care that your father might be a CIA asset. She wants him to pay for his crimes. To her, you looked like a way in."

"And to you?" Jeanne demands.

"You look like a daughter who loves her father and doesn't deserve to be screwed over because he's a criminal." Tony says calmly.

Jeanne huffs out a breath and paces back to the sofa. "So…now what happens?"

"That depends." Tony says. He clasps his hands in front of him. "You have a couple of choices. You can break-up with me and we can pretend for a little while that I try to get you back but you continue to rebuff me and this ends for you here…I'd just ask you not to say anything to your father."

"Or?"

"Or we pretend to continue until the assignment ends." Tony says.

Jeanne freezes. "You want me to help you?!"

"I want to keep you safe." Tony retorts before he can stop himself. He avoids her gaze and gets up; he paces to the mantelpiece and turns around. "Either way, it's your choice."

She crosses her arms again as though warding off a chill. "He's my father."

"Yes." Tony says softly.

She storms away from him and the sound of the bedroom door slamming shut echoes across the room.

Tony rubs his hands over his face and lifts his eyes to the ceiling. He's so far off the reservation with what he's done, he's in orbit. If the Director were to find out…

He doesn't know how he fixes this. If it can be fixed.

Maybe he should do what Ziva did; do what Franks told him to do; bring Gibbs in on it.

One step at a time though.

He spends the next few hours making a meal (it's not that he can't cook, it's that he has the DiNozzo tendency to create chaos in the kitchen when he does), and dropping Jeanne's bag into the bedroom for her along with the plate of only slightly burned stew.

It's early in the morning when he hears her emerge from the bedroom. She pads over to the sofa where he's sleeping, or trying to sleep, under a thin blanket with a cushion as a pillow. She sits down on the floor, resting her back against the sofa, her back nudging his feet. She stares at the fire, banked but still going in the fireplace (and he's never admitting to how long it took for him to light it).

Her hair's pulled back into a messy ponytail, she's wearing sweatpants, a plain white vest and an oversize woolly cardigan that has seen better days. There's socks on her feet; oversized and falling down. She looks beautiful.

"You didn't have to tell me." Jeanne notes quietly and turns to face him.

"Yes," Tony argues gently, "I did."

She reaches up and tugs one of his hands away from the blanket, holding it between hers. "You're not the man I thought you were," she says holding his gaze, "but you're a good man."

He swallows hard, not wanting to admit how much he had wanted to ignore his gut that things were off; to give into the pretence that she's really his girlfriend because he's struggling to keep his head above water. He has a boss who's only just beginning to act like he has his whole memory back, a partner who keeps him at arm's length, a Probie who wrote a damned book about them, and a Director who he can't trust with his safety or his team's but who keeps sending him on errands in her own personal crusade.

He's standing on a house of cards and sooner or later the thing is going to tumble to the ground.

"At least now I know why you didn't want to have sex with me." Jeanne laughs weakly. "I was beginning to think there was something wrong…"

"There's nothing wrong with you and I'm always going to want to have sex with you." Tony blurts out.

There's a moment of silence and then she starts laughing. It breaks the tension. She's giggling; peals of hilarity escaping from her which cause Tony's lips to twitch into a reluctant smile. Finally, she blinks back tears and gets her breathing back under control. It takes him a moment to realise she's still holding his hand.

Jeanne's eyes snag his. "Come on." She gets to her feet and tugs on his hand.

He gets up but his stomach is churning and he resists as she makes to pull him to the bedroom.

"Jeanne…"

She steps up close to him, kisses him sweetly. "Take me to bed, Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo." She kisses him again.

He kisses her back and takes her to bed.

Apparently there's a third option he hadn't considered.

o-O-o

He can do this, Tony tells himself.

He'd managed to tell Jeanne – and that had turned out, well, a hell of a lot better than he had thought it would. He can do this.

He takes a deep breath and opens the door.

It's unlocked.

It's always unlocked.

Tony closes the door behind him.

He forces himself across the room and to the basement before he can second guess himself again. He pauses half way down the stairs, catching sight of Gibbs sanding a half-finished boat. Gibbs is in his off-duty outfit; jeans, hoodie proclaiming his allegiance to the Marine corps.

"You coming down or are you going to stand there all day?"

Tony clears his throat. "Coming down, Boss."

Gibbs puts the sander down and heads over to the workbench as Tony clatters down the remaining stairs. He throws nails out of a jar and reaches for a bottle of bourbon. He lifts the empty glass to Tony.

Tony shakes his head. He sets down the file Mike Franks had given him instead. "You should have one."

Gibbs splashes some bourbon into the jar and picks up the file, perching on the only stool in the room. Tony wanders around as Gibbs reads. Five minutes later, Gibbs discards the file and picks up the jar, he tosses back the liquor.

Tony can see a rapid set of emotions running through Gibbs's expression before he closes them down. When he looks back up at Tony, it's with clear blue eyes.

"What's your play?" Gibbs asks without preamble.

"Getting out alive." Tony replies. He waits a beat. "Hopefully with my job."

Gibbs gives a short laugh and points to the workhorse. Tony takes a seat.

"Take me through it." Gibbs says.

And Tony does. His report is crisp and to point; they could be in the bullpen or MTAC. He talks about Jasper Shepard, about Le Grenouille, about the Director's obsession and Tony's latest undercover mission. He talks about how he and Jeanne have talked and agreed to continue with the Director's plan to meet Jeanne's father.

"Why bring me in?" asks Gibbs seriously. "You've been doing errands for months now."

"You're…Gibbs." Tony explains a touch inarticulately. He spreads his hands. "'Least I think you're Gibbs again."

Gibbs takes that hit on the chin and nods sharply.

"You're…" Tony presses his lips together briefly. "I owe you for giving me a job, Boss; for teaching me how to do this job beyond what I learned on the street as a cop. But you've never needed to teach me rule one."

Never screw over your partner.

And Gibbs would consider keeping all of this as a secret as a screw-over especially when it concerns something to do with Jenny. Tony knows him well enough to know that. He's not prepared to risk Gibbs's trust in him just to satisfy Jenny's rule about secrets and need-to-know, especially since she's skirting the edge given her clear personal motivation. (And seriously she has to know Tony knows the rule was Gibbs's own).

"You think Jenny's crossed the line." Gibbs says gruffly.

"I think Jenny crossed the line a while ago, the Director on the other hand? Well, she's right on the line right now." Tony shoots back.

Gibbs acknowledges that with a tilt of his head. "This girl? Jeanne? You trust her?"

"She's agreed not to confront her father herself." Which had been quite the argument at breakfast at the cabin the day before. "She's going to help me keep my cover."

"With her father or the Director?" asks Gibbs bluntly.

"Both." Tony responds feeling suddenly tired and wanting it just to be over. "What about you, Boss?"

Gibbs reaches out as though he's going to head slap him but instead his hand lands heavy and warm on the back of Tony's neck and squeezes gently. "Rule five, DiNozzo."

It's all Tony can do not to hug the life out of him.

o-O-o

There are days when Tony still feels like it's raining shoes.

He argues with Jeanne at breakfast about meeting her mother.

He's late again for work but at least Gibbs only smacks lightly on the head before pushing him in the direction of the elevator where they're quickly embroiled in doing Mossad a favour.

OK. So messing with Goliath in the Gulf Stream Ziva's Daddy arranges brightens the morning up.

But then there's Ares.

Charles Harrow.

Trent Kort.

Le Grenouille.

And, of course, the piece de resistance is a Director who crosses the line and the Canadian border.

It's not like he gets any support. He and Gibbs are pretending that this is the first clue Gibbs is getting about the whole situation which means Gibbs has to be snarly with him. Which Ziva takes as tacit permission to be bitchy with him and McGee snippy. Ducky is too relieved to have gotten away with his field excursion to notice the tension. Abby is too removed from the action to know but Tony's sure the terrible twins will fill her in before he gets there the next day. And the Director is far too pissed at losing the battle to worry about how one of her pawns is doing.

He stumbles back to Jeanne's apartment and wonders how to tell Jeanne he almost killed her Dad earlier that day.

Jeanne's curled up in bed already. He climbs in beside her and takes a second to blink in confused realisation that he's not gone to his own apartment but instead gone to pseudo-girlfriend's.

God, he's such a fuck-up.

"You're not a fuck-up." Jeanne says sleepily turning to snuggle into him and landing a kiss on his bare shoulder. She smooths a hand over his hair and kisses his mouth.

Tony feels guilty for disturbing her. "You should sleep."

"Late shift tomorrow." She reminds him. "What happened?"

Tony hugs her closer and tells her.

All of it. Well, most of it which includes how Ziva had a sniper rifle trained on her father but not the way she'd kept pressing the Director for permission to take the shot.

Jeanne shivers and presses into him. He holds her tightly.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Jeanne says. "It's not your fault my father is an arms dealer." She raises her head and catches his eyes with hers. "If…" she pauses her breath catching in her throat, "if it happens and he…promise me you'll be the one to tell me."

"I promise." Because he can keep that promise but not a promise to keep her father safe.

Jeanne settles in beside him. "It scares me."

Tony drops a kiss on her head.

"He's my father." Jeanne whispers.

"I know."

"Then help me." Jeanne shifts again, propping herself up on Tony's chest. "Help me make sure he doesn't end up shot or dead."

Tony twists a strand of her hair between his fingers. "It's not that simple, Jeanne."

"Isn't it?" Jeanne asks. "He'll meet you and we'll convince him to give himself up to NCIS."

"That easy?" Tony questions sarcastically.

Jeanne shoots him a look and he makes a face which is part apology and part not.

"OK," Jeanne concedes, "not that easy. But I just want this over." She looks at him with that frank honest stare she has; the one he might already be half-way in love with. "I want to be with you without this hanging over our heads. Don't you want that?"

"I want that." Tony admits roughly. "But I'm always going to be the guy who put your father in jail, Jeanne." How can their relationship last?

"You're always going to be the guy who told me the truth and helped me save my father." Jeanne states with a fierce naivety Tony envies.

"And if I can't save him?" questions Tony pointedly.

Jeanne holds his gaze. "Then I…I don't know." She admits. "I don't know if I could live with that between us, but…but I know I want to try."

Tony searches her gaze and finds only stalwart stubbornness staring back at him. He cups her cheek. "What's your plan?"

Jeanne grins at him and drops a quick kiss on his lips. "OK," she says enthusiastically, "Papa knows I'm serious when I ask my Mom to meet someone. When you meet with my Mom, he will want to meet with you too. He hates being left out."

Tony sighs and struggles with the competing arguments in his head. He needs to talk it through with Gibbs but he thinks he knows what the other man will say after witnessing Jenny's meltdown about Le Grenouille.

"OK." Tony concedes. "I'll meet your Mom." And God. What is he thinking? He doesn't do the meeting the parents thing.

Jeanne's face lights up with a smile and she kisses him again. "Don't worry, she's going to love you." She kisses him before he can reply.

Five minutes later she's sliding over him, her body welcoming his and he lets himself lose himself in her heat.

He'll worry about the other shoe storm in the morning.

o-O-o

Tony meets Gibbs at the diner on a Saturday morning. He's surprised they have the weekend off; grateful but surprised.

He slides into the booth and isn't surprised when a moment later the waitress places a plate of waffles with eggs and bacon in front of him, a side of toast follows, and she finishes by pouring him a mug of coffee. Gibbs gets the same with his mug topped up. Tony flashes her a grateful smile.

"How'd it go?" Gibbs asks.

Tony picks up his knife and fork. "Jeanne got held up at the hospital. Her Mom and I downed martinis and talked about the relative merits of Shakespeare in film versus the theatre. We're going to see Hamlet on Broadway next month."

Gibbs gives a huff of laughter.

"I'm glad someone's amused." Tony says shaking his head. But his eyes are twinkling and he's half-amused himself. Doctor Helen Berkley had been a blast. She's as fiery as Jeanne; as smart. She loves her daughter. It had been an awkward start, especially as Jeanne had pretty much had to strong-arm her mother into visiting to meet him at all (Helen wasn't entirely certain Tony isn't a rebound from some relationship Jeanne had just ended before meeting him) but they'd finished in good spirits.

"Never had much luck with mother-in-laws." Gibbs says almost casually.

Tony hoards away the new info about his boss and chews quickly. "Jeanne got a text from her father before we went to bed. He wants to meet." And freezes because he's just given away that he and Jeanne might be involved and that wasn't something he had admitted to Gibbs before.

Gibbs looks at Tony over his coffee cup. "You sleeping with her, DiNozzo?"

Tony swallows and takes a gulp of coffee before answering.

"Ah, Tony."

"Rule five, Boss."

"Rule ten." Gibbs shoots back.

Tony laughs at that because when hasn't Gibbs gotten personally involved with a case? But he knows it's not good form for an undercover to fall in love with his mark; even one who knows the truth and says she wants to be with him. "I love her, Gibbs." He'd surprised himself when he hadn't thought twice about replying to her declaration at the top of the rock wall with a declaration of his own.

Gibbs looks at him for a long moment. "Does she feel the same?"

"She says so." Tony says, unaware of the small genuine smile that has lit up his expression.

Gibbs sighs and shakes his head. He focuses on his food and lets it drop. Tony forces himself to keep eating. He knows Gibbs is only worried because the possibility of Tony and Jeanne finding a happy ending in all of what's going on is remote but…it's like Jeanne said; they have to try.

"You want to tell me what was going on with you and Franks?" Gibbs asks, the change in topic taking Tony by surprise.

"We've come to an understanding." Tony says evenly. Franks turning up for his long lost son had been a surprise but the grizzled former agent had acted like he and Tony had never sat in a bar together and that suits Tony just fine.

Gibbs gives him another long considering look. He nods finally and doesn't press it. "When are you going to tell the Director?"

"Monday." Tony says. "Jeanne's going to set it up with her father this weekend."

Gibbs nods and swipes a piece of toast through the bright yellow drop of yolk remaining on his plate. "Well, I've got to go."

"Hot date with a certain Colonel, Boss?" Tony teased gently.

"None of your business, DiNozzo." Gibbs says but he's smiling.

Tony finishes his meal, leaves a generous tip for the waitress, and heads over to the hotel where Helen is staying. He joins Jeanne and her mother at the breakfast table, eschewing food but taking another pot of coffee. He holds Jeanne's hand unashamedly.

They're just discussing heading out to the shops when Tony's cell goes. There's an emergency recall. He turns to Jeanne apologetically but she gets it.

"Go." Jeanne says.

And he goes but not without seeing the curiosity flare in Helen's eyes about why a film professor would be summoned back to work.

o-O-o

Tony feels Jeanne's arms slide around him and he turns to hold her. "Didn't mean to wake you." He'd climbed out of bed hours before unable to sleep.

"What can I do?" Jeanne asks gently.

"You're doing it." Tony replies, turning his head to drop a kiss on her cheek even as his hold on her tightens.

"Tell me about her." Jeanne says.

And Tony tells her. He tells her all about Paula Cassidy and their ill-fated love affair and friendship; from the beginning at Gitmo to the explosive end in a sealed room five days before. He tells her about Paula's gumption and spirit; how she'd taken down a serial killer. He tells her about Paula's insecurities and masks; why she and Tony had been both simultaneously a good idea and a really bad one. And he tells her how Paula sacrificed herself to save them.

Paula's gone.

Jeanne kisses away his tears and leads him back to bed. She wraps him up in her arms and Tony holds onto her as she lets him grieve. He slips into sleep, warmed by her comfort.

"I wish I could be at the funeral with you." Jeanne says the next morning, cupping his cheek as she says goodbye.

Tony turns his head and kisses her hand. "Love you."

"I love you too."

There's a hug and Tony leaves. He heads back to his apartment and dresses for the funeral. Only the best black suit for Paula.

The funeral is blessedly short. McGee is absent; he's been given leave to go to Georgia for the funeral of his friend from FLETC. The Director provides a short eulogy looking crisply elegant in a black pantsuit. Tony bears the weight of Paula's coffin on his shoulder.

It's family only at the graveside and Tony heads back to the office with the others. He escapes to the men's room.

Ziva walks in while he's washing his hands. Tony glances at her. He's not in the mood for their usual bantering and stays silent. She leans against the sink and looks at him with darkly enigmatic eyes.

"Are you alright, Tony?"

Tony darts a disbelieving look at her.

She concedes the stupidity of her question with a sheepish tilt to her head. "I do not believe she would wish for you to dwell on her death, Tony."

"I think she might appreciate my dwelling on the day of her funeral, Ziva." Tony retorts, turning away from the sink to the towel dispenser.

He can almost see her make the shift of gears in her head, her decision to irritate him out of his grief.

"She was a strong woman, no?" Ziva taunts him lightly. "Too strong for you."

Tony balls up the paper towel in his hands and tosses it in the trash. "You have a point in there, Ziva?"

Ziva bristled. "You are mourning for another woman when you are seeing someone, a special someone since you insist on keeping her a mystery from us, yes? It is not appropriate."

Tony remembers Jeanne's care of him, her understanding. He knows Ziva means well; knows the sharp words and tongue which have all the comfort of being hugged by a cactus is how Ziva shows she cares. He knows exchanging words with Ziva isn't a good idea but he can't help responding. "Strangely enough, Ziva, most people don't think mourning a friend is any more or less inappropriate than mourning a walking dead man."

He leaves before he can say anything else.

His cell goes before he gets back to his desk; a summons to the Director's office. He diverts with a quick look at Gibbs to clue him in on where he's going. He takes the main stairs.

Jenny is by her liquor cabinet. She raises a decanter and he shakes his head. It's early.

"Maybe you're right." Jenny says and walks back to her desk. "Where are we on setting up the meet with Le Grenouille?"

Tony wrestles with the urge to snap at her. "Jeanne delayed it."

"Why?" Jenny asks. "Does she suspect?"

Tony swallows down that Jeanne already knows. "I was upset about Paula. She…put her father off."

Jenny stiffens and leans forward clasping her hands on top of the desk. "Why would Professor DiNardo be upset about Paula?"

He's tempted to laugh at the unsubtle chastisement of not keeping up his undercover persona. "Professor DiNardo," he stresses the name, "is upset at the death of a colleague he once dated since he witnessed the car accident that killed her." He replies tersely. "He didn't have a chance to clean up from the crime scene before he had to meet Jeanne for dinner." In truth, he'd gone straight to Jeanne, needing her after watching Paula's sacrifice.

Jenny sits back. "Let's have Professor DiNardo put this behind him and move on with meeting his girlfriend's father, shall we?"

Tony hears the order in the briskly fashioned suggestion. He nods and clamps his jaw shut so he doesn't tell her exactly what she can do with that suggestion.

He doesn't return to the bullpen. He heads out to the coffee shop across from the Yard, buys a large hot chocolate and sits desultorily at a table.

Gibbs joins him ten minutes later. He sets down a muffin in front of Tony. "You haven't eaten today."

"Don't have much of an appetite."

Gibbs raises his coffee cup. "To Paula."

Tony gently taps his hot chocolate against Gibbs's cup and sips his drink in a silent toast.

"The Director?" asks Gibbs.

"Wants to get on with the op." Tony informs him, bitterness creeping back in. He hides his face in his hot chocolate.

"You want to tell me why Ziva came back to her desk and started playing with her knives?"

"Don't expect me to apologise to her." Tony snaps and feels guilty because Ziva was trying to help in her own way and maybe she didn't deserve that last shot.

Surprise flares in Gibbs's eyes before he shuts it away and holds up a hand in an easy surrender. "Never known anything good to happen when someone follows someone into a bathroom."

Tony can't help but laugh at that. He shakes his head. "It never gets any easier, does it?"

Gibbs's blue eyes soften; the memory of another female agent sitting at the table beside them as though she'd momentarily come back to life.

Kate.

"Nope." Gibbs agreed. He gets up suddenly. "Go home, Tony." He says and disappears.

Tony goes home.

Maybe the universe will stop lobbing shoes at him at some point.

o-O-o

Tony rolls his head and tries to release the tension in his neck as he enters his apartment. He can't help but feel for the Probie. Finding out that his writing had led to the deaths of two men wasn't easy. Not that Tim seemed to appreciate Tony's attempt to lend an ear and ply him with drink to commiserate. Probie had pretty much shut the door in Tony's face.

Truth is Probie might have a point about Tony wanting to say 'I told you so' to him. Ever since the truth had leaked about McGee's Deep Six novel, Tony had wanted Probie to man-up and admit the characters were based on the team; to apologise for using them that way; for an explanation about why McGee had painted Tony-Tommy as the worst parts of the frat persona he has cultivated and doesn't seem to think Tommy brings any other value to the team apart from being Officer Lisa's rather twisted love interest.

Tony slaps the back of his own head. Hasn't the case proven Probie really does get things wrong? The redneck party-animal Petty Officer who actually is a devoted son? The playboy who is actually married? If Probie can't see beyond the surface, that's not Tony's problem.

Well, it is as his Senior Field Agent because NCIS agents needed to see beyond the surface but that's a problem for another day.

He checks the time. He wants to go over to the hospital and catch a late snack with Jeanne during her break. She's just started a set of night shifts and they're keen to keep seeing each other despite the inhospitable hours. Jenny hadn't been pleased at the latest delay in Tony meeting Jeanne's father.

There's a knock on the door.

Tony frowns in surprise. His address isn't widely known. Maybe it's Gibbs…he opens the door and freezes.

Rene Benoit smiles back at him. "Hello, Agent DiNozzo. May I come in?"

Tony glances down the corridor but Benoit is alone. He's just locked his gun away and his cell is on the shelf.

"I assure you; nobody knows I am here. I only wish to talk." Benoit says.

Tony gives him a tight smile and gestures for him to enter. Benoit spends a moment prowling around the den before he stops by the piano. Tony has considered and discarded the idea of going for either his gun or his cell.

"You play?"

"Some." Tony allows. "Would you like a drink?"

"A cognac would be appreciated." Benoit demures.

Tony gets the drinks. He hands one balloon glass to Benoit who sniffs it with approval.

"You have good taste." Benoit raises his glass. "To Jeanne."

"Jeanne." Tony repeats and takes the tiniest sip possible. He lowers his glass. "How long have you known?"

"Since Ares." Benoit says. "Your CIA does not like surprises." He pauses and points a finger at him. "Jenny's ambush for me in Canada was a surprise. You so entangled with my daughter were another."

"Why wait to confront me?" asks Tony, swirling the alcohol around absently.

Benoit shrugs. "The photos they procured to show me suggest you love my daughter." He pins Tony with a frank look. "Are they wrong?"

"No." Tony says.

Benoit gives a harrumph of satisfaction. "It is all I wish for my children; love and happiness, Agent DiNozzo, and you make Jeanne happy." He drinks down another gulp of cognac and stares into the glass. "I received a threat against Jeanne two days ago."

Tony stiffens. "What did it say?"

"Simply, I have three months to remove myself from an arms deal with the Ukranians or she will be killed." Benoit downs the rest of his drink.

"But you can't remove yourself because you're working for the CIA." Tony concludes without raising his voice.

"It is good my daughter is with someone who matches her intelligence." Benoit comments dryly. "The Agency is aware of the threat but insists their deal is more important than Jeanne. I disagree."

"You need a way out." Tony deduces.

"I need a way to keep my daughter safe. All I do, I do for my children." Benoit states. "And besides, there are a number of factors which suggest to me now is the time to depart the field."

"How do you want to do this?" asks Tony.

"I wish to meet with your Director and your Director only. I will make my request to her." Benoit says. "Tomorrow evening, say eight o'clock at the Director's house."

"You know my Director is determined to put you behind bars?" Tony questions casually, digging a little to see if Benoit will reveal why Jenny's so obsessed with taking him down. He's not sure that Benoit meeting with Jenny on his own is going to go the way Benoit wants.

Benoit huffs with laughter. "Better behind bars than my daughter hurt, and besides my information about the arms trade may make for a better set of bars than some."

Tony nods slowly. Benoit isn't wrong. There'll probably be a deal involved when all is said and done.

"And now if you'll excuse me," Benoit says, "I have several affairs to put in order."

Tony lets him leave and picks up his cell. He presses a speed dial. "Boss, we need to meet."

o-O-o

Tony trains his binoculars on the front door of the Director's house and watches as the maid departs for an evening at the cinema. The Director has already sent away her protection detail. He's noticed she has a tendency to drop them whenever she wants alone time or to do something reckless. He's not particularly happy she's done it because she's meeting Benoit.

Tony's not supposed to be there.

Jenny had been explicit that he was to stay home and let her deal with Benoit. He wishes he was home. He wishes he was somewhere else doing something else rather than being stuck in his car outside of the Director's home doing surveillance but he hasn't spent the last few months undercover to miss the final act.

He has to admit the Director has a nice home. Stylish. Elegant. Classy. It's a bit like Jenny herself. He was surprised to realise it had been a family home. He hadn't realised Jenny had been raised in D.C. but he guesses that's partly where she must have picked up the political ambition.

He glances at his watch and his breath streams out in a thin white stream. It's cold in the car and he can't run the heater or he'll give his position away.

Ten to eight.

A taxi pulls up and Benoit gets out. He looks like nothing more than a business man. He's in a well-tailored grey suit; a Mackintosh perched on his shoulders with the ease of a man used to wearing it that way. There was a thin cream cashmere scarf around his neck. He makes his way to the Director's door, rings the bell and waits.

A moment later a warm amber light is revealed through the crack as the door opens, Jenny silhouetted in front of it. She ushers in her visitor.

Tony carefully sends the text he's prepared. He's just finishing when another taxi pulls up and Jeanne gets out.

"Damn it." Tony mutters. He'd told her about meeting her father; about her father's decision to turn himself in. He hadn't told her when or where and they'd argued about her being there; he'd thought they'd agreed she'd stay away.

She's dressed up; a black and white print coat covering her. She skips through the puddles and to the door.

He's out of his own car and across the street, without even thinking, dodging the rain because his short leather jacket and jeans were not made for the weather.

But he's not quick enough; she's ushered inside before he's had time to do more than take a step. He heads around to the kitchen entrance and quickly sends another text. He ignores the reply which orders him to stay put. He makes short work of getting through the back door, his lock-picking skills aren't as good as Gibbs or Ziva but they're sufficient. He's inside, his gun out and he runs through the kitchen in a low crouch.

There's a crash of thunder outside.

Voices drift from the study through the hall to his position in a side-room – a dining room he thinks.

"…you don't know what you're talking about." Jenny's voice is harsh and strident.

"I was the one who bribed your father." Benoit says.

Tony's eyes squeeze close for a second. God.

"You have always suspected." Benoit continues. "And now you know the truth."

"I've always suspected you set my father up to be murdered!" Jenny answers back.

Lightening lights up the hallway and the lights flicker.

"Papa?" Jeanne's voice is hesitant; she's scared and trying not to show it.

"I did not kill him." Benoit states passionately.

"Liar!" Jenny shoots back.

"He could not handle the shame of what he had done." Benoit acknowledges. "For that I am partially responsible as I offered him the bribe."

"And now you're here," Jenny sneers (and it is a sneer), "asking for my help."

"To keep my daughter safe." Benoit agrees.

"No, Papa, to keep yourself safe." Jeanne corrects.

Tony sneaks a look and sees Jeanne holding one of her father's hands between her own in the doorway of the study. Beyond them Jenny is standing in front of her desk, her dark sleeve-length top teamed with dark pants and high heels. She reaches back suddenly and there's a gun in her hands.

Tony's breath catches in his throat and he almost inches forward but for a glance across the hall…

Benoit places Jeanne behind him. "Come, come, Jenny. You cannot think to shoot me without provocation."

Jenny smiles; it's a nasty smile, bitter and ugly. She reaches behind her again and picks up another gun, she puts it on the floor and slides it over to them, and all the while her gun is aimed at them.

"Pick it up." Jenny orders.

"Don't do it." Tony mutters under his breath but it's too late.

Benoit has stepped into the room, closer to the gun; Jeanne has followed him, her father still placing himself between her and Jenny.

"And my daughter?" Benoit asks tersely as he reaches the weapon.

"She shouldn't have followed you here." Jenny replies.

Gibbs steps out of the shadows of the hallway. His gun is aimed at Jenny and he inches into the doorway. Tony steps out to back him up. He's almost level with him as they ease into the study on opposite sides of the doorway.

"Put it down, DIrector." Gibbs orders.

Jenny's eyes flare with surprise at their presence and fury. "This is a sanctioned hit, Gibbs. Put down your weapons." She shoots Tony a disgusted look. "I should have known you'd tell him."

"Yeah, you should." Gibbs draws her attention back to him.

Tony tugs Jeanne away from her father's back. He pushes her behind his own body as he gets closer to Benoit.

"I told you this is sanctioned, Jethro." Jenny repeats, her gun still steady as a rock and aimed at Benoit. "Stand down."

"I don't think this is." Gibbs says.

And Tony takes a moment to consider if any of it has been sanctioned.

"And even if I believe Benoit is sanctioned, his daughter's definitely not." Gibbs states. "She's not a part of this."

"Collateral damage." Jenny says coldly. "Just like I was collateral damage when Benoit killed my father."

"This isn't you, Jenny." Gibbs says, his tone softening and for a moment Tony thinks he might have reached her.

"But it is." Benoit says. "She targeted my daughter months ago through Agent DiNozzo." He smiles, charmingly, but without humour. "It is why I am here." He gestures at the gun on the floor. "There was no need to provide me with a weapon," he goes for his inner pocket, "I have one of my own…"

Jenny shoots…

Tony pushes Benoit to try and get him out of the way, but sees how Benoit jerks as he hits the floor…

"PAPA!"

Jenny re-aims…for Jeanne who is moving to check her father…

A second shot.

Tony leaps…feels the punch of the bullet through his shoulder.

He manages to raise his weapon and fires…

Loud bangs as weapons discharge…

He hits the ground. His head slams into the hard wood of a book shelf.

He blinks.

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs's hand is hard on his shoulder; blue eyes intent on his. "Stay with me, DiNozzo!"

"Jeanne." Tony whispers.

There's sobbing.

Tony blinks.

"Ambulances are on their way." Fornell's voice drifts over Tony's consciousness and he doesn't understand why Fornell would be there.

Soft hands on his face, checking his head. A scent…

"Jeanne."

Lips against his skin.

Tony blinks.

Bright lights above him.

"He's coding!"

Pain.

Pain.

Pain.

He can't breathe…

He wonders what happens when the universe runs out of shoes.

o-O-o

"…she's getting the best care possible, Jethro." Ducky's soft accent sinks through the haze around Tony.

"How long has she been ill?" Gibbs's voice is rough; it feels dark and angry.

"Months." Ducky replies. "It would have been discovered at her next physical but…it's incurable; degenerative. Jenny is terminal, Jethro." There's a catch to his voice; pain.

There's silence. Tony can hear the beep of a monitor, the sound of footsteps walking away, but he's too exhausted to open his eyes.

A hand smooths over the top of his head, fingers shaking slightly as they stroke through his hair. "You'll have to forgive Jethro, Anthony. It's been something of a shock to him all this. I'm sure you've worked out for yourself that he and Jenny were once close."

Another stroke through his hair. "I don't know if this is a comfort to you, but Jenny is ill. Her brain is already giving into the confusion of her condition. It has interfered with her normal judgement, increasing her obsession, causing her to fixate upon Le Grenouille to an unhealthy degree." He hums. "I fear it's probably not a comfort, especially when this is the second time you find yourself fighting your way back to health after the machinations of an obsessed female wanting revenge."

Tony feels Ducky pat the back of his hand.

"You just rest, Tony. It's the best thing for you." Ducky clears his throat. "Did I ever tell you about the time I found myself in Casablanca and…"

He drifts away.

Tony starts awake with a jolt.

"Back with us, DiNozzo?" Gibbs is suddenly there and Ducky is gone.

There's a straw and he sucks up liquid wetting his dry mouth.

"Jeanne."

"Safe." Gibbs tells him briskly. "Fornell has her in protective custody."

Tony frowns.

He wants her with him. Wants her…why isn't she with him?

"Her father?"

"Dead at the scene." Gibbs informs him.

God.

No wonder she isn't with him.

Jeanne's never going to forgive him.

He grimaces and hiccups a sob; everything seems too much. "Hurts." He gasps to explain away his tears.

"I know." Gibbs says and Tony knows he does; Gibbs lost the love of his life too.

He closes his eyes and wishes the world away again.

Abby's there when he comes to for the third time.

She hands him Bert solemnly and then climbs on the bed to cuddle into him.

She doesn't say anything; just holds him.

He sees McGee on his fifth awakening. McGee is typing away on his laptop. Tony clears his throat.

"You're awake." McGee flails for a long moment before calling the nurse.

Fifteen minutes later, Tony is propped up in bed and McGee is hovering beside him like a nervous cat.

"Spit it out, Probie." Tony says tiredly.

"You were undercover? All this time?" McGee stutters.

"Don't act so surprised, McAuthor." Tony advises him wearily. "You're not the only one who can keep secrets."

"That's not…" McGee says hurriedly. "I was…I'm glad you're OK, Tony."

Tony peers at him carefully.

He's sincere.

Tony nods but he doesn't want to talk anymore.

When he opens his eyes next, Ziva sits beside him reading a magazine. She sets it aside to offer him a drink of water.

"Is there anything else I can get for you?" Ziva asks.

"Information." Tony murmurs.

Ziva settles herself resting her arms on his bed-railings. "I do not know much. Leon Vance has been appointed as Acting Director. He is cooperating with the FBI who are leading the investigation into the Director's pursuit of Le Grenouille. The Director remains in a secure ward here at Bethesda; only Gibbs and Ducky have seen her. She is not well."

"Jeanne?" asks Tony because he can't not ask about her.

"She remains in FBI protection." Ziva replies.

Tony wonders if she's asked about him; whether she wants to see him. He sighs heavily.

"I didn't want it to end this way." Tony says staring up at the ceiling.

"Did you expect it to end any other way?" Ziva asks pointedly.

Tony wants to be mad at her blunt honesty but he can't.

"It is difficult to know the right thing to do to protect the people we care about." Ziva says slowly. "Sometimes we must walk away, hmmm?"

Tony looks over at her. It's what she would do, he realises before something else occurs to him; it's what she did do. She'd walked away from him after Gibbs had returned. To protect him. He laughs weakly because of all the times to have insight into Ziva's behaviour…

It doesn't matter anymore.

And while Ziva might choose to walk away to protect someone, Tony is more the type to stay. Just as he'd stayed after Gibbs had returned.

He closes his eyes again.

o-O-o

Tony never wakes up alone but on the third day he's well enough to persuade the nurses into a bath, clean clothes and to finally sit in the chair rather than the bed. He assesses his condition as 'weak as a kitten'. He has tightness in his chest; a hole in his right shoulder; a crack along the base of his skull.

His heart hurts more than any of it.

Gibbs returns from getting coffee, quirks an eyebrow at the new set-up and waves at the men who've followed him in. "You up for visitors, DiNozzo?"

The African-American with the tidy facial hair, dark eyes and toothpick has to be Vance. Fornell stands glumly behind him.

Tony conjures up some politeness and offers his hand. "Acting Director Vance."

Vance shakes his hand and gestures at the remaining chair; it's an uncomfortable plastic monstrosity. "May I?"

"Sure." Tony glances at Gibbs who has taken a sentry position by the door, legs crossed and leaning back on the wall as though relaxed but the sharp blue gaze gives away his concern and focus. Fornell leans up against the bed and pulls out a digital Dictaphone.

Tony ignores Vance momentarily. "How's Jeanne?"

For a moment it looks as though Fornell isn't going to tell him but eventually the FBI agent heaves a long-suffering sigh. "OK for someone who just saw her Daddy being shot to death."

Tony winces. He wishes he was with her; could comfort her.

"Which brings us on to why we're here. Take us through it, Agent DiNozzo." Vance orders.

And he does.

He keeps his report crisp; he acknowledges his decisions; his mistakes. He doesn't hide that he told Jeanne and Gibbs, but justifies both calls. He makes no explanation for his relationship with Jeanne and to his relief isn't questioned about it either. He finishes with the events at the Director's house, keeping his voice steady as he relays Jenny's actions that night.

Vance tosses the toothpick into the trash. He looks at Fornell.

"I have what I need." Fornell says brusquely, holding up the Dictaphone.

"I need a moment alone with Agent DiNozzo." Vance orders.

Gibbs glances towards Tony who shrugs his acquiescence. "I'll be just outside."

A moment later, Tony's left with Vance.

Tony picks up the glass of water beside him and takes a shaky sip. "You have more questions?"

"All NCIS cases under Director Shepard are being reviewed." Vance tells him. "Two of the cases while you were in a supervisory position were flagged for attention."

Tony looks at Vance tiredly.

"Your first case with Grant? You noted in your report that you believed additional time should be spent on the money trail. Shepard gave the order to turn over the case to JAG since the all the evidence pointed to Grant." Vance looks at him expectantly to explain.

"It was our first case without Gibbs and it was a difficult transition." Tony says diplomatically. "Half of me still isn't sure I wasn't just second-guessing myself."

"And the other half?"

"It felt like too much of the evidence pointed to Grant." Tony remembers. "If he was that good at hiding the money then…"

"Then why had he been foolish enough to incriminate himself elsewhere." Vance completes. "Grant's due to go to trial next month; I'll look into it."

Tony feels a touch of relief. He doesn't like Grant but he's never wanted to put an innocent man in jail.

The second case is easier to talk about; a murder-rape that was solved by old-fashioned police work in running down alibis and boxing the suspect into a corner with the lies they'd told. Tony is confident about that one regardless of the interference Jenny had tried because it had been the son of a high profile Colonel.

"It was flagged." Vance explains as though that's enough explanation for his questioning it; it probably is. He adjusts his tie for a moment.

Tony is about to open his mouth to suggest he's tired and please can Vance go, when Vance begins to speak.

"The initial investigation into Benoit Shepard began was valid. The intelligence connecting Benoit to Navy ammunitions was sound." Vance pauses. "SecNav admits he wasn't aware of the exact nature of all the undercover work he had agreed for you to do and he wouldn't have signed off if he had, but it was sanctioned."

Tony rubs his forehead. There's a headache threatening. Jeanne is not going to be happy if all Jenny ends up with is a slap on the wrist.

"Benoit wrote his children a letter which was found on the body." Vance states briskly. "He'd had enough of working for the CIA. The threat against Jeanne wasn't the only threat against his family he'd received in the past year but the CIA refused to protect them."

Tony sighs. "He knew if he came up in a NCIS investigation, Jenny would focus on him because of his connection to her father's death."

"Yes," Vance agrees, "and he intended to get caught, trading his knowledge for a deal." His dark eyes met Tony's. "But it looks like his plan changed when she involved Jeanne."

Benoit had loved his daughter.

"He set her up." Tony concludes, thinking about the way Benoit had reacted when Jenny had pulled the gun; the lack of surprise.

"He wanted to protect his children." Vance says. "I can understand his motivation."

Tony looks over at him with interest. "Kids?"

"Two." Vance confirms. He adjusts his position slightly, regarding Tony with dark unfathomable eyes. "Director Shepard offered you the lead at Rota. Why did you turn it down?"

Tony tries to will his tiredness away so he can give the most politically correct answer he can formulate. "Gibbs was still getting his sea-legs back. He needed an experienced Senior Field Agent."

"Agent McGee was still short of the criteria at the time." Vance agrees. "And now?"

"McGee still doesn't meet the criteria." Tony points out, a touch irritated and disappointed at Vance's clear desire to have McGee take up Tony's position. "Am I getting fired?" He demands bluntly.

Vance's eyes flare with surprise at the idea and he shakes his head as he gets to his feet. "Actually the opposite." He buttons his jacket. "You're getting commended for your work here, Agent DiNozzo. You did your best to ensure the safety of Miss Benoit, the operation and the reputation of the agency. You've caught the attention of your superiors."

He leaves on that bombshell and Tony thinks there's clearly still one huge shoe left to drop.

Probably on his head.

o-O-o

Jeanne is beside his bed when he wakes up next. It's dark, the room lit only with the bedside lamp and the blinds and door are closed.

She seems incredibly young. Her face is clear of make-up; her eyes red-rimmed and puffy from crying. Her hair is in disarray. Her simple jeans and sweatshirt are comfortable and old.

Tony reaches for her anyway.

She sits on the bed and he manages to sit up enough to pull her into a hug; arms tight around her, despite the ache in his chest; the pain of his injuries.

Jeanne hides her face in his shoulder, he feels the wetness of her cheeks against his skin.

Eventually she eases back.

They look at each other for a long moment.

Her hand comes up to cup his cheek, a thumb traces along his cheekbone.

And then they're kissing.

They stop eventually and Tony rests his forehead on hers as they simply share breath and hold each other.

"I'm so sorry, Jeanne." Tony whispers.

Fresh tears spring into her eyes but her hand squeezes his. "You tried to save him." She whispers back. "I just…I wanted to ask him why. He traded weapons to terrorists and…I wanted to know why. Why would he do such an evil thing?" She's sobbing again. "And I can't. I can't ask him and…he was my father and he's dead. She took him away from me and…"

He pulls her into a tight embrace again and rocks her.

She calms eventually, shuffles back to put a breath of space between them and swipes at her eyes. Tony brushes away her tears.

"Tony…"

He knows what she's going to say, sees the look in her eye, and his heart seizes in his chest. "Tell me you love me." His hand holds hers tightly.

She kisses him softly. "I love you so much." She whispers against his lips. "But…"

Tony closes his eyes and tries to continue breathing as her lips find his forehead.

"I'm sorry." Her voice is broken.

He opens his eyes again, blinks away the blurriness. "I love you."

"I know." Jeanne hugs him.

A moment later she's sliding away from him and his heart is breaking.

"Where will you go?" Tony asks hoarsely.

"They've…they've released…I'm going to take his body back to Paris for burial." Jeanne explains quietly, reaching for the discarded coat he's only just spotted on the chair. "Pierre and Simone were told yesterday."

Her brother and half-sister.

"After that…I don't know." Jeanne shakes her head as she shrugs into her jacket. "I just…can't be here."

Be with him.

Her hand on his cheek surprises him into looking at her.

Jeanne kisses him again; chastely, tenderly. It's a goodbye.

Her eyes search his for a long moment.

"You're the best man I know, Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo."

He conjures up a miserable smile but it's enough for a response. She smiles back tremulously and slips away.

Tony lies back on his pillows and stares up at the ceiling tiles, tears blurring his vision. He hears a sound and he looks across the room to see Gibbs enter.

Tony hurriedly tries to pull himself together, to wipe away the evidence of his hurt and…

Gibbs is with him in two steps and stills Tony's frantic attempt to rub away his tears. He holds Tony's face between his hands, and forces Tony to look at him with a gentle 'hey.'

Tony waits. He knows what his father would say. DiNozzo's don't cry. Don't be a baby, Anthony. You're going to end up in a gutter…

"I'm so proud of you, Anthony." Gibbs says quietly but so sincerely.

And then he holds Tony as he breaks apart.

o-O-o

Jenny dies on a Sunday three weeks later.

The official story is an unexpected brain aneurysm.

It might even be true.

Tony's lost count of the shoes now.

o-O-o

A week later, Vance is confirmed as Director.

Tony is immediately promoted.

Abby cries but a look from Gibbs silences any objection. McGee wishes him well with a handshake and a thank you. Ziva tells him to stay in touch; she's taken up a local college course in film and movie history and will want to pick his brain. Ducky and Palmer wish him bon voyage with a joint gift of a bottle of scotch.

Gibbs makes Tony a farewell dinner of cowboy steaks to celebrate. They reminisce about Baltimore and meeting; about the early days and Kate.

They don't speak about Jenny.

He flies out the next day to Singapore to assume responsibility for an investigative team there. They're good people; sharp, bright and welcoming.

Tony focuses on work because otherwise he'd have to address the matter of his broken heart.

Abby emails him a picture of the new Senior Field Agent, a towering hulk called Simon Cade, holding a baby. Apparently Gibbs had made him spend hours calling people to tell them their victim was a lying liar who lied. Tony figures it's a mild form of hazing.

His team crack a child pornography ring two days later.

McGee sends him a video of Gibbs's last wife in a face to face off with his current squeeze. Tony smiles because it is hilarious but his attention is on the murder they've been sent to solve in Manilla.

He's tracked the killer to Perth and just caught the guy when Ziva calls to complain to him about working with Cade, the FBI and inexperienced rookies.

Palmer calls with his usual weekly update and tells Tony the others have gone to investigate a death aboard the Chimera. He has broken up with Michelle Lee.

Tony goes undercover to track down a serial killer and goes off the grid for six weeks.

He returns to the news that Gibbs had ended up in the hospital having almost drowned himself and a friend of his late daughter's, a Navy admiral has been assassinated, and Abby's found his mini-me.

Tony goes on a date and is grateful when the call comes in that there's been an explosion.

Abby starts dating Cade. Tim acquires a dog. Tony isn't sure there isn't a correlation between the two things.

Ziva emails him a picture; it's of Jeanne sitting in the hospital coffee shop with her mother. Ziva doesn't explain what she was doing at the hospital but Abby is only too happy to fill in the blanks about Ziva feeling her own mortality a little too sharply.

Tony realises he still hasn't gotten over Jeanne and he's still not the type to walk away.

Palmer takes down a killer with a car. He's almost gleeful as he recounts the story to Tony.

Abby wakes Tony up one morning to tell him a Russian spy Jenny was supposed to take down years before, has tried to kill Gibbs and he's in hospital; Jenny's ghost casts a long shadow.

He thinks there's at least one last shoe due to drop.

o-O-o

Vance recalls him to D.C.

There's a mole.

Gibbs is still in the hospital recovering from the three bullet wounds and heart attack he'd suffered at the hands of the Russian before Franks had stepped in and taken her down.

Tony is placed in charge of the MCRT and only just manages to stop Vance from enacting his Grand Mole plan which seems to mostly consist of sending every other member of the MCRT somewhere else.

It's different being leader this time, Tony reflects.

Cade is solid. Super-smart. Super on it. He knows his job and is a thoroughly competent Senior Field Agent.

McGee's pretty insecure around Cade and Tony figures that's mostly to do with Abby; some to do with the Senior Field Agent position; some to do with Cade's impressive credentials. McGee seems relieved Tony's back, calls him Boss and is generally supportive, losing the argumentative side that seemed to plague their interactions the last time Tony was lead.

Ziva had followed Tony into the men's room on the first day. She means well. Tony tells her if she follows him into the bathroom again he'll let Vance send her back to Israel. There's no more bathroom wisdom after that and maybe even a look of approval in her eye.

Abby hugs him once a day. He's shocked to see his photo plastered on one wall of her lab surrounded by the postcards he'd sent her.

Ducky welcomes him back with another bottle of scotch. Palmer takes him out for a beer and asks for help in wooing the daughter of an undertaker.

He goes to see a grumpy Gibbs who brightens up when Tony reads him into the mole situation. Gibbs grumbles about Vance and his crazy ideas, and offers Tony advice.

It's nice.

Weird.

But nice.

Tony focuses on the mole.

They identify her three days later.

Seven days later they trap her trying to steal secrets only for her to reveal she's being coerced.

Four days later they save her sister and lose Michelle.

Tony ends up in the hospital with a bad scalp wound from where a piece of glass flew into him. He waits impatiently to get patched up, sitting uncomfortably on the edge of an examination bed, too aware he's covered in sweat, debris and blood.

The doctor pulls back the curtain. "I'm sorry to keep you waiting, I'm…" Jeanne looks up from the chart and her voice falls away.

"Hi." Tony says awkwardly.

"Hi." Jeanne says back. She casts a look over her shoulder. "I can get another doctor if you'd…"

"No." Tony shakes his head and winces. "I know you're a good doctor."

Jeanne nods and starts forward again. She sets the chart aside and pulls on some gloves, starts to ask him questions about his injuries.

"Agent Fornell said you'd gone abroad." Jeanne says as she begins the task of cleaning the glass out of his wound.

"Singapore." Tony tells her. "I was recalled a few weeks ago; Gibbs was shot."

"I heard." Jeanne says lightly. "His case was the talk of the hospital. It's not often we have the drama of Russian spies around here."

"How are you?" Tony asks.

Her hands freeze for a moment before she continues. "I'm better." She says.

They fall silent as she places butterfly stitches over the cut.

"You'll need to be careful in the shower." Jeanne instructs him as she strips the gloves off, throwing them away and immediately updating his chart. "I can prescribe you something for the pain."

"I'm good." Tony lies, hating how awkward he feels.

He slips off the bed and stands up straight just as Jeanne takes a step towards him. They stand so close to each other he can feel her breath; see her trembling.

He should leave.

"If I had one wish, Tony…" Jeanne says.

"What?" He asks.

"If I could turn the clock back." Jeanne looks up at him.

"Me too." Tony says.

"Doctor Benoit, there's a patient asking about…" the nurse stutters to a stop at the tableau she's interrupted.

"I'll be right there." Jeanne says, already taking a step back. "It was good to see you again, Tony." She departs before he can say anything else.

Tony makes his way slowly out of the hospital. He stops at a bench in front of the entrance, falling onto it with more haste than grace; his head is swimming and his chest hurts like he's struggling to breathe. It's an old pain.

He'll survive it.

He's survived the last year.

He rubs his neck and pulls out his cell. He should check in with his team; he'd had to leave them at the scene. He needs to arrange for someone to pick him up and…

She slides onto the bench beside him, still in her scrubs, stethoscope around her neck.

Tony looks over Jeanne and tries not to feel the flare of hope in his heart…tries not to…

Jeanne takes a breath…

o-O-o

"GIBBS, GIBBS, GIBBS!"

Tony snorts with laughter as Gibbs fends off an overexcited Abby.

Gibbs shoots him a 'help me' look but Tony ignores it, pointing to MTAC. He grins widely and leaves Gibbs to his fate as the others crowd around his desk and welcome him back to the bullpen. Gibbs actually isn't cleared for duty and has only stopped by to pick Ducky up for lunch. Tony wanders into the dark of MTAC and sits down beside the Director.

"Did I hear Miss Scuito screaming?" Vance asks amusement colouring his tone.

"Gibbs came by for a visit." Tony explains, taking in the operation in motion on the screen in front of him and smiling with relief when it goes without a hitch.

Vance hums. "You continue to impress, DiNozzo."

Tony shrugs. "Team effort, Director. Ducky profiled. Abby and McGee found the Caf-Pow link. Cade found the intelligence."

"And you came up with the Op. You'll have your choice of assignments once Gibbs is back." Vance slides him a look.

Tony raises an eyebrow.

"Hmmm." Vance gets to his feet and gestures for Tony to walk with him. They head out and pause at the railing overlooking the bullpen.

Gibbs sits at his desk; Abby is talking excitedly beside him, hands gesturing. Ducky is there waiting for Gibbs to be done so they can go for their lunch; there is an indulgent smile on his face. Palmer hovers by Ducky. McGee leans over to say something to him and Palmer smiles back while Ziva lightly hits McGee on the arm. Cade watches over everything a strong and silent presence.

"You've done a good job, Tony."

He had.

He thinks he's been more than just enough this time. He's been a good leader.

Vance clears his throat. "I can't give you the MCRT."

"I know." Tony says.

"But I've been talking to SecNav about a special operations team here in D.C. Similar to the model we're setting up on the West coast. I need someone to run it."

Tony tilts his head. "I could see how that would work."

"I'd offer you the West coast but I don't think you'd leave."

Tony smiles. He has his reasons to stay. He always does.

Vance pats his shoulder. "Come see me tomorrow about your new position." He leaves Tony alone, leaning on the railing looking at the team.

His cell buzzes and he takes it out of his pocket and smiles. He's still smiling when he answers. "Hello there, Very Special Doctor Benoit. Oh hey, Vance says I'm staying in D.C."

"Good to know buying the house together wasn't a waste of time." Jeanne jokes. "I just wanted to check we're still on for the weekend away at the cabin? Nothing's come up?"

"We are so still on."

"I'll see you later then." Jeanne says seductively.

"Love you." Tony says before she can hang up.

"Love you too." Jeanne hangs up and Tony closes his phone. He thinks about the small box secreted away in his luggage.

Gibbs takes up position beside him and glances back down at the team below; they've all returned to their usual places.

"Thought you'd gone to lunch." Tony says.

"Ducky got pulled into a consult." Gibbs says succinctly. He nudges Tony. "Saw you talking with Vance."

Gibbs won't ask but Tony tells him anyway. "Special Ops Lead here in D.C."

Gibbs gives a satisfied nod. "Just as well since you bought that house."

Tony laughs.

"It's been a hell of a couple of years." Gibbs comments.

Tony thinks about the last time when he was lead and Gibbs came back; when he'd turned down Rota; when he'd decided to stay; before the shoes started to drop.

"Yeah." Tony says. "I could have done without some of the shoes."

Gibbs looks at him strangely. "Like I've always said, DiNozzo, you have too many shoes."

And Tony laughs, bright and happy.

Tony turned down Rota.

He never regrets it.