Chapter Eight – Just a talk

AFTER

The next morning, I was standing in front of Lucy's home. Despite everything, it was still the same. Even the open window on the second floor was still a thing.

I took a whiff, inhaling the cold morning air and together with that I caught Lucy's scent, something sweet, mixed with Gray's icy scent, probably the kid and Gray himself.

As I opened my eyes I caught a glimpse of blonde hair and a slim figure. Lucy made a few trips near the window, each time giving me a fuller view of her.

My heart skipped a beat and I felt an ache in my chest that seemed to be staying there for quite some time after I realized my mistake and it gave me the needed push to be where I was. That and Mira, knocking some common sense into my thick skull.

I gathered my strength and climbed the four steps in front of the house. I waited a few moments before knocking on the door.

The house went silent for a second and I was almost sure no one was going to open. But I stayed a hoped.

"Natsu," the door opened slowly, a small crack that was just enough for Lucy to take a peek and then opened it more widely. "What are you doing here?" Her expression changed and it was just like that when Gray did so. From the small flame in her, she turned ice cold, giving me the cold shoulder.

"Hey Luce," I murmured feeling the tension between us. There were so many things on my mind that I could say, but the seemed to want to stay inside. "Can we talk?"

She stayed frozen for a while. I could see the thoughts she was considering in her mind.

And that is when a small, equally blonde head popped next to Lucy's legs. His smile was huge and could warm in the coldest heart.

Lucy let out the breath she was holding and opened the door for me to get in.

"Mommy, mommy! Fwend, fwend!" The little guy started yelling and jumping around.

I couldn't hold my smile and patted the blonde head as he ran beside me.

"Cute kid," I said and grinned at Lucy, but she wasn't quite as happy as I was.

I walked inside the living room I had waited for Lucy a hundred times. But now the furniture was different. There we toys everywhere, a kiddie soft carpet that the kid quickly sat on.

I found my way to the new couch that was in a much cooler shade than the one before. Lucy's bookshelf was bigger and fuller with the lowest shelf filled with children books. He was just like her.

Everything except the bookshelf screamed 'Gray'. He really had something going on with Lucy which sent a jolt of anger through my body.

From the corner of my eye I was Lucy staring at me. I turned around so our eyes could meet. And before she could hide it, I saw the pain in her round, brown eyes that I loved to look at.

"Luce," I murmured again and it was getting like a bad habit of mine. I seemed to repeat her nickname in the same tone and voice each time I wanted to talk to her.

She raised her hand in front of me, closing her eyes to concentrate, "Why are you here?" Her tone was low and calm, but it wasn't gonna stay like that much longer.

"I wanted to talk to you," I said, scratching the back of my neck.

"You haven't wanted to talk to me in almost three years and you want to catch up?" She sounded way too sarcastic that I could recall her sounding.

"No, I want to apologize, Luce. I want to know that you will forgive me and let me back in your life again. I am sorry, Lucy," I went closer and closer with each word until I was standing just centimeters away.

Underneath all of the coolness and different smells, Lucy's sunshine was there again. She smelled just like before I left and it sent my senses on edge.

"No," she murmured barely heard, but I still did. I stopped myself from engulfing her in my embrace and stood there like I was struck by lightning.

"What?"

"You heard me, Natsu. You can't just come out of nowhere and expect from me to take you back in my life as if nothing really happened. Well, what do you know? A lot happened and it changed my life, changed me…" Her eyes were starting to water and I couldn't watch it.

"Please Lucy. Don't cry. Calm down, we can work it out. Please."

This time she was willing to hug me so I stepped closer and surrounded her figure in a tight embrace. She was shaking a bit, but that gave me a reason to hug her tighter.

"I got scared, Luce. I was scared that it was all going to turn into my biggest nightmare…"

Lucy froze for a second and pushed me aside as roughly as she could.

"What? Your biggest nightmare, huh?"

At that point I realized that I had left out the important part and it sounded as if I didn't want anything in the first place.

"No!" I dragged it unwillingly and covered my face with my hands. "Luce, I didn't mean that. I meant…"

But she cut me off before I could redeem myself.

"What did you mean? What exactly did you mean? You mean it was all a huge mistake, you mean that it was just a one night stand, a simple hook up?" Her face was turning bright red.

"No, no, no! Nothing of that is right! Luce, I was scared that it was all the alcohol talking, not you. I didn't want to end up left alone, I…running away looked less painful," I looked down at my shoes.

"Yeah? But did you, at least for a second, think that I was left alone? That it was painful as hell?" Tears slowly started running down her cheeks and it broke my heart looking and listening to her.

"I know I made a huge mistake. I have never been so afraid of something my whole life."

"The Natsu I knew would never do such a stupid thing," Lucy frowned and threw a quick glance above my shoulder to look at the kid.

Her kid. Lucy had a kid. From Gray.

All of a sudden I felt an ache again. My knees went all rubbery and my eyes started burning. The realization hurt more than I expected and I raised my hand to my heart.

"So, you had a child with Gray?" My voice was bitter and low. "How old is he?"

Lucy's eyes darkened and she went silent. I guess it was a painful topic to speak on in front of me.

I shook my head and turned around, walking to the blonde boy. He raised his gaze as soon as I sat next to him and smiled. I studied his features for a while.

Dark eyes, darker than Lucy's, round chubby face that was too child like to be recognized of which parent he took it from, sweet little nose, blonde hair with lighter and darker highlights.

And despite all of his features something still felt more familiar that I could see.

"Andy, go play in your room baby," Lucy said firmly and the kid went into overdrive, standing up clumsily and stumbling to a room that was Lucy's closet before.

I turned to her, not exactly having emotion showing on my face. I don't even know if I felt anything.

"You want to be friends, is that so?" the blonde said and crossed her hands in front of her chest.

I took a breath and my heart started beating faster, "Yes."

She came closer, kneeling right next to me and pressing herself to me, in a hug.

And I guess that was all I needed in the moment. My thoughts all vanished leaving me empty minded and concentrated only on the blonde celestial mage that was being held in my embrace. I didn't want to let go, I never wanted to let go, but we can't turn back time, right? We can't just go back and try to fix what we have done. And the thing I did was low key brainless and it hurt so many people. Most of all, Lucy.

And as much as I don't want to admit it, at this point I was in love with her.

I was in love with the girl I had been on thousands of missions, had thousands of different moments and emotions. The girl I had sex with, that currently had a child and was probably married to my best friend.

Good job, Natsu. Your brilliant mind has struck again.

Well, that was fun to write. I had something way different in my mind, but I it unfolded in another direction. Even so, I am delighted of the result and I hope you like it too.

I had a shit ton of entry tests and this week has been awful, but I will update as soon as possible!

~Bria