Okay, y'all must be so tired of me with all my unfinished fics lol. I'm sorry, I just have sooo many ideas for this pairing and when I get inspired, I can't help but to share it with you guys cuz y'all my babies.

So I've been wanting to do this for a while now. It's a way for me to discuss some issues that are important to me. I want everyone to know that in this fic, Ichigo is female-to-male transgender. Please, if you don't like this type of thing, don't read it. Also, in the fic there will be some triggering topics, but I will place warnings at the beginning of each chapter. This story is special. I would appreciate if you went into this with open minds and hearts. There's enough hatred in the real world; we don't need any here. If you have a problem with trans people and are transphobic, then I suggest you stop reading right now. I don't want to have to cuss anybody out, but I will. Y'all know I got an attitude problem, and I get real attitudinal about bigotry.

I hope you all can find this enjoyable. It's going to be a little depressing at first, but it'll get better I promise. Love y'all!

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or the characters therein.

TW:

-transphobic language
-misgendering

Chapter I: The Disappearance of Ichigo Kurosaki

We all laughed together, the rain pummeling our skin as we hopped from puddle to puddle. Our parents were sure to be pissed at us, but we didn't care. Me, Renji, Rukia, Nnoitra, Shinji, and Ichigo. We kept playing in the rain, as if nothing mattered but that moment. In a way, nothing did. We had each other and that was all we'd ever need.

Ichigo laughed, her bright orange braids bouncing as she jumped in the air. I watched her, feeling myself become even happier simply from seeing her smile. She was perfect; everything was perfect. And then it wasn't.

It had been four years. She left four years ago, and she didn't tell any of us where she was going. She was there one day, and then the next day she was gone. It was a mystery to us, but everyone else seemed to just keep going like nothing happened. Of course we went to her parents and asked where she was; she was our best friend. Her mom just started crying and had to leave the room, but her dad. . .I should have known something was up when I saw that steely look in his eyes. He looked cold, detached when he said, "Ichigo is very sick. We've sent her to a special school to get better." I didn't believe that for one second, but he told us to leave shortly after. My other friends just accepted it, but I never did. Ichigo was close to all of us, but she was closest to me. She wouldn't just leave without telling me; at least that's what I thought.

I walked through the halls of Clairemont High School, a scowl set firmly into my features. I'd become somewhat of a punk, making sure to keep my distance from everyone who I didn't consider a friend before high school. My main group consisted of Renji Abarai, another notable punk with crazy long red hair and even crazier tattoos; Rukia Kuchiki, Renji's girlfriend and the sister of the principal, Byakuya Kuchiki; Nnoitra Gilga, my tall as fuck best friend and Shinji Hirako, Nnoitra's gay as fuck boyfriend. There were a few other people who hung around us, but I didn't consider them my friends. This one girl, Orihime Inoue, hung around Rukia a lot, but honestly she was annoying as fuck. I'd heard something about her having a crush on me because I saved her from some thots who were bullying her, but she was going to have to cut that out.

I hadn't been interested in anyone the past three years that I'd been in high school. Not that there wasn't an abundance of girls throwing themselves at me, but none of them were Ichigo. It'd been rather obvious to everyone except her that I had the world's biggest crush on her; she was so pretty, with her long orange hair that she usually kept in two braids and her big brown eyes that sparkled like tourmaline in the sun. She never wore dresses or skirts, but she didn't have to; she was perfect just the way she was. I couldn't forget her if I tried. She meant everything to me. In some way, I don't think I ever let her go. I felt that if I dated anyone else, I'd be betraying her. Maybe deep down I was sure she'd come back, and I didn't want to be in some meaningless relationship with some other girl when she did.

"Grimm!" I heard behind me. I turned to see Rukia and Renji running to catch up with me; well, Rukia was running, Renji was kinda just casually strolling like I had been. I stopped walking and waited for them to catch up to me. "Did you hear? We're supposed to be getting a new student in our class."

I just grunted in response. I didn't talk very much, which probably added to my reputation as an asshole, but I really didn't care.

"My brother says it's a boy, but he won't tell me anything else." I just shrugged as we headed for our homeroom class. I didn't care; I was sure it'd just end up being some dude who'd stare at my hair too long and I'd end up kicking his ass. Same shit different toilet. I took my seat next to Orihime; trust me, it wasn't by choice. Our seats were assigned alphabetically. She smiled at me and I inclined my head slightly before I took out my phone and started to mess with it like I always did. About a minute later, the bell rang and our homeroom teacher, Mrs. Hinamori walked in followed by someone who managed to do the impossible: he caught my attention.

He was tall, but not insanely so like Nnoitra, about five nine. He had short choppy orange hair; the brightest orange I'd seen since Ichigo. His skin was tannish and his body was lean. He wore a tight fitting long sleeved black shirt with tight skinny jeans and beat up black Converse. He stood next to Mrs. Hinamori's desk, his eyes cast downward. I wished for him to look up; I needed to see his eyes, because I had a feeling. There was something. . .familiar about him, even though I'd never met him in my life. I watched intently as Mrs. Hinamori scanned the attendance list and instructed him to sit between Cirucci Sanderwicci and Coyote Starrk. He looked up then to scan the room and follow her instructions, and that's when I knew. Mrs. Hinamori didn't even have to say her name; I knew it was Ichigo. But why did she look like that?

"Class, this is Ichigo Shiba. Please do your best to make him feel welcome here at Clairemont."

I stiffened at the name. Ichigo's last name was Kurosaki; I knew that for certain. Maybe I was wrong and it wasn't her. I knew Ichigo's family was from Japan, and while I didn't know much about the Japanese language, I was sure that Ichigo was a girl's name. I hadn't met anyone besides Ichigo with that name. Was it really her?

The lithe male walked toward the back of the room, keeping his eyes hidden behind his bangs. Once he got to my desk, he looked up slightly, catching my gaze with his own. His eyes were a beautiful brown, just like hers; they looked different though. Hers were bright and full of happiness; his were dull and lifeless, like he'd seen far too much for his short lifetime. He looked away from me, and continued to the back. I wasn't sure, so I looked next to me at Rukia; her violet eyes were wide. She recognized it too. Renji had turned around in his seat, his russet eyes following the new student until he sat down. The look on his face was nothing short of disgust.

Was I disgusted too? I remember feeling a lot of things, but disgust wasn't one of them. If this was truly Ichigo, my best friend and the only girl I'd ever loved, then how could I be disgusted? For the duration of homeroom, I was anxious. I wanted to talk to her, hear her voice, her laugh. I'd missed her more than anything. When the bell for first period finally rang, I got up from my seat and gravitated straight to her. . .or him rather.

He didn't look up as soon as I got to him, but when he did, I was captivated, just like I always was. His frown marred his gorgeous features that were still essentially the same as they'd always been.

"Hey," was all I said. He continued to frown, but it lessened a bit.

"Hey."

His voice was sweet, but distinctly masculine. It was nearly the same as it was before, but you could definitely tell it was a male voice. His full lips curled into the slightest of smiles at my question, "Need someone to show you around?" He pulled his schedule from his messenger bag and handed it to me.

"Sure."

Just as we were about to leave the room, I heard my name.

"Grimmjow!" I turned around to see Renji standing with Rukia and Orihime. He looked between Ichigo and me, his nose turned up slightly. "What are you doing?"

"Minding my business," I responded easily, gesturing for Ichigo to follow me as I left the room.

"You've changed," Ichigo said, softly, as we walked through the hall together. I raised an eyebrow but kept my gaze forward.

"You're one to talk." I got my wish; Ichigo laughed, and it was the same sweet sound, only deeper and huskier.

"Touché, blueberry."

The rest of our walk was in silence, but neither of us missed the whispers. It seemed people already knew a lot more about Ichigo than he'd expected. I heard a lot of different things, but the one that caught my attention was, "tranny". I think it caught Ichigo's attention too, because he frowned deeply, though he kept his gaze forward and his head high.

We stopped next to the door for his class. He looked up at me, giving me a smile that didn't exactly reach his eyes.

"Thanks for the help, Grimm." I couldn't help smiling myself; of course other people called me by that nickname, but it was never the same as when she did.

"No problem, Ichi. I'll meet you here before second."

He nodded and waved before he went into the classroom. I headed for my own first period class, which I thankfully had with Nnoitra and Shinji. Of course when I walked into the room, they were already being scolded for sucking face. I shook my head and took my seat next to Nnoitra. He turned to me with a mile-wide grin that strangely matched his boyfriend's.

"Did ya hear?" he asked, and Shinji leaned over his desk to be able to be a part of the conversation.

"Hear what?" I asked, pulling a notebook from my backpack.

"Ichigo's back, but she's a he now."

"I know; I walked him to class."

"Oh yeah? You know Renji's pissed as fuck about that. He thinks yer gonna get some kinda disease."

"That's just fucking stupid," I said, as our teacher walked into the room and started class.

When the bell for second period rang, I left the classroom with Nnoi and Shinji in tow. They were really the only people I truly got along with. Of course I considered Renji and Rukia my friends too, but they didn't really understand me the way Nnoi and Shin did, the way Ichigo did.

Ichigo was waiting outside the classroom door, and Shinji tore himself from Nnoitra's side, running and jumping around the oranget's neck. Ichigo looked surprised before his features softened and he hugged Shinji back.

"It's so good to see you, Ichi. You look. . .well hot!" Shinji said, stepping back to give Ichigo an up-down look. He shifted under Shinji's intense gaze, blushing slightly, the same way she always did when someone complimented her.

"Hey, now, let's cool those jets," Nnoi said, but he still smiled and crossed to Ichigo, ruffling his fluffy orange hair. "Good to see ya, tangelo."

We walked in the direction of our next class, one we all just so happened to share. We got halfway there before we saw Renji and Rukia heading toward us. Ichigo tensed, and I subconsciously stood in front of him.

"So you're all just gonna act like everything's cool?" Renji asked once he was in front of us. He basically snarled at Ichigo, who looked like he was about to throw up. "You're just gonna parade around with this freak of nature?"

"Hey, shut the fuck up," Shinji said, standing in front of Ichigo and me. "You know he's our friend."

"That thing," Renji said, frowning in Ichigo's direction, "is not our friend."

"Well maybe he ain't yer friend, but he's sure as hell ours," Nnoi piped up, crossing his arms over his chest and daring Renji to challenge him. The redhead glared at all of us before he tsked and headed in the opposite direction, purposely ramming into Ichigo's shoulder as he passed. Rukia and Orihime followed him, doing everything they could to avoid all our gazes.

I was ready to go after Renji and kick his ass for being such a piece of shit, but I felt a warm, soft hand wrap around my wrist. I looked over at Ichigo; his eyes were hidden by his bangs as he stared at the floor,

"Just let it go, Grimm. It doesn't matter," he said, and I could hear the slightest quiver in his soft tenor. He looked up then, his eyes shining with unshed tears; he still managed to smile though. "Let's just go to class, okay?"

I nodded and we continued in the direction of our class. I was still fuming though; how could Renji treat Ichigo like this? This was Ichigo, our friend who'd been missing for four years and was finally back. Did it really matter so much that she was a boy now? I know it didn't matter to me. I knew it the moment I saw her eyes; I still loved Ichigo with all my heart.

Lunch was more of the same; Renji refused to let us sit at our usual table because Ichigo was with us. I didn't care; I gestured for them to follow me, and we all went to sit on the roof. It was a little windy that day, but nothing too hard to handle. We all sat at the far edge of the roof, away from the other groups who made the roof their lunch spot. Ichigo stared at his sandwich as we all started eating.

"What's wrong?" I asked; he didn't look up as he messed with the sandwich, picking off the crusts.

"I feel like shit for causing you guys so much trouble," he replied quietly. I frowned; his voice sounded so sad, so lifeless. I hated it. "I think that's the only thing I know how to do right."

"Hey, don't be that way," Shinji said, reaching out to place a hand on Ichigo's shoulder. "We're all happy to see ya, Ichi. Do ya know how much we've all missed you?"

"Not all of you," Ichigo said, throwing his discarded crust onto the concrete.

"Don't worry about Renji; he's just confused is all. He'll realize you're the same old Ichigo, and he'll come around."

"That's the thing though," Ichigo mumbled, finally looking up at us, his brown eyes hard and his face unreadable. "I'm not the same."

That's when it hit me; I couldn't just act like everything was the same. Ichigo wasn't that same girl I used to play fight with when we were seven, or play video games with when we were thirteen. No, Ichigo was a whole other person entirely now. He'd been through things that she never did; he hadn't told me, but I knew. It was written all over his face. I couldn't expect Renji to act the same either; hell, it took him a year to come around to Nnoitra and Shinji being together. Still, I expected some sort of civility from him. It didn't matter that Ichigo was a boy now; he could still be our friend. We could get to know him, just like we got to know her. Why did everything have to be so black and white?

The rest of our lunch was spent in silence, but it wasn't exactly uncomfortable. It was familiar; in a way, it was as if Ichigo hadn't ever left in the first place. I still felt completely at ease around her. Her aura was the same, even if her appearance was different.

We finished lunch and headed for fourth period. Nnoitra and Shinji had different classes, but Ichigo and I had the same pre-calculus class. Unfortunately, we also shared this class with Renji. He sneered at us as we entered the classroom, and that sad look washed over Ichigo's face. I gripped his arm gently, not hard enough to hurt, but firm enough to let him know I was there and I wasn't going to leave. I'd never leave.

We took seats at the back of the class, since my usual seat was occupied by Bambietta Basterbine, Renji's ex girlfriend, and a noted loudmouth. She turned around in her seat and pinned Ichigo with a sour look.

"You're actually kinda hot for a tranny. Shit, does that make me a lesbian?" she asked, turning to Renji who started to laugh.

"How about you keep your mouth closed before I rip your vocal chords out?" I responded, icily. She laid a hand against her chest, seemingly shocked.

"Oh, you finally learned how to speak?"

"I've always known how to speak, dumb bitch," I growled. "I just chose not to speak to those beneath me. You've pissed me the fuck off though." I wanted to continue my verbal assault, but Ichigo stopped me.

"I think she's just mad because she wants my dick," he said, and I couldn't help laughing at that. Bambietta's face turned as red as her ex's hair and she turned around to face front again. Ichigo smirked triumphantly as Renji glared at him.

The rest of the day went by pretty quickly, and before I knew it, the final bell was ringing. I left my class to find Ichigo; I approached his locker where he stood, gripping his ribs. Something wasn't right. I rushed over to him and reached out to touch him. He jumped away, but relaxed once he realized it was me.

"What happened, Ichi?" I asked.

"Dodgeball in gym. They decided to play everyone against the tranny," he replied with a wry laugh.

"That's not -"

"Don't say it," he said, holding his hand up to stop me from speaking. I pursed my lips and watched him with steely eyes. He lifted his messenger bag onto his shoulder, though it looked like it caused him a large amount of pain.

"Let me carry that for you," I said, trying to take the bag from him. He slapped my hand away.

"I'm not a little girl anymore, Grimmjow!" he exclaimed. I frowned at him, and his features softened. "I mean. . .fuck, I'm sorry. I just. . .you don't have to protect me, Grimm. It's not your job." He turned and headed for the exit.

"At least let me help you with your injuries," I said, following him, but keeping my distance. He stopped walking but didn't turn around.

"Trust me. I've lived through a lot worse."

So this is the first chapter of Of Monsters & Men. The vibe is supposed to be kinda uncomfortable, because Grimmjow is trying to make sense of everything that's happening in his own way. I haven't decided if I'm going to do anything from Ichigo's POV yet. Bear with me please, as this is new territory for me. Thank you for reading :)

Until next time,

Patd06