The roar of the engine could be heard even above the Kansas song blaring through the Impala's speakers. The sound was a comforting one and sometimes Dean wondered just what he would do without its consistency. The Impala had been his constant companion, even more consistent than Sam, throughout Dean's 32 long years.

His fingers tapped against the steering wheel as he sped along a darkened highway in backwoods Virginia. He spared a glance over at the passenger seat before sneaking a peak at the back seat. It was a strange feeling to be on the road by himself. His lips opened and Cas' name was on his tongue but then he thought better of it and swallowed the prayer. Things were strange and he needed time alone. That was why he was there in Nowhere, USA. He didn't know Sam anymore. And Kevin had become trapped in a life that Dean wouldn't wish on anyone. Benny was in the wind. And Cas, well Cas was complicated.

"Son of a bitch." He muttered, turning the volume knob in an attempt to drown out his thoughts.

The music played on and yet did little to comfort him. Figuring his shit out was the reason he'd taken a solo hunt in the first place. He hadn't been able to stand being alone with Sam in Rufus' cabin for another damn minute. They'd fought and made up and agreed. But nothing had gotten better. Sam's heart was still in Texas with Amelia. His brother's mind still desperately sought a way out of this life.

And okay, yeah, Dean didn't feel quite like himself around his little brother anymore. He had hoped the sting of Sam moving on would ease over time, but it hadn't. He had gone missing. Both he and Cas had disappeared and Sam hadn't even looked for them. For all he knew, they were being tortured by Leviathan. But he just packed up and forgot about them.

And that hurt in ways Dean wasn't sure how to process.

Dean should have talked it out earlier with Sam. He should have nutted up and told Sam just how upset he was. But he'd just returned from Purgatory and he was barely able to face the fact that he'd done so without Cas. The last thing he was going to do was push away the only people he had left. He'd clung to his brother and Benny with everything in him.

Guilt swelled in his gut as he thought of Benny. He owed his life to the vampire. Benny had done more and trusted him more completely than Dean deserved and had been more of a brother to Dean in one year than Sam had been in his whole life. And maybe that wasn't fair. Dean and Sam were co-dependent and unhealthy and Dean knew all of that. Sam was selfish but Dean had raised him to be that way. He'd shielded him from everything he could through the years; from their father's less than parental traits and violent impulses to starving himself in order to make sure that Sammy always had a full belly. Dean had raised him to be able to defend himself but ultimately to look out for number one. When it came to Sam and the unbelievable power imbalance and level of care, Dean was to blame. Dean would have torn the world apart looking for Sam, looking for Cas. And Sam had simply packed up the Impala and found himself a girl and a dog to play normal with.

Benny would have looked for him.

And Cas, well Cas would have searched until the end of time. Hell, even crazy, naked and covered in bees, Cas wouldn't have allowed for Dean to ever be alone in a situation where he might disappear or die. That was why he'd ended up with Dean in Purgatory in the first place. He'd willingly gone with them, even though he was sure he would die for it. He was unwilling to allow them, to allow Dean, to die alone.

"I think too much heart was always Castiel's problem."

Samandriel had a point. But he'd sort of hit Dean's problem on the head at the same time. Dean had too much heart too, didn't he? He was the eternal caregiver and when he loved, he loved completely. He spent a whole year tearing Purgatory apart looking for Castiel. He had sold his soul for Sam and he knew he'd do it again. Even after everything he'd suffered in and after hell, he'd do it all again. Wouldn't he?

Dean pulled into the parking lot of a motel on the edge of town. The neon signs blinked at him as he left the car and made his way into the office. He stared blankly at the non-descript employee manning the non-descript counter of yet another non-descript motel. It all bled together really. He wasn't even totally sure which state he was in anymore. He grunted his thanks at the man and turned on his heel with the key in hand.

His phone beeped in his pocket as he threw his bag on the bed of his room for the night. He tossed it on the bedside table without looking at it and sat down on the edge of the bed. He thought about getting drunk for a moment before deciding it wasn't worth the effort. Yanking off his boots, he fell back onto the mattress. Staring up at the ugly brown ceiling without really seeing it, his weary mind circled the drain.

He was alone. That had been his choice. But sometimes, sometimes he felt like things were supposed to be different. Like he had made a wrong turn somewhere and everything had gotten screwed up.

"I wish it was all different. I wish this wasn't-" He rubbed a hand over his eyes. "Now I'm talking to myself. Just perfect."

His eyes closed and his last waking thought was that he wished his life had turned out differently.

Consciousness came slowly, slower than usual. Dean was a light sleeper by necessity and motel beds were certainly not the most comfortable. But he found himself slowly emerging from a dreamless sleep, taking several long moments before he stretched his muscles and opened his eyes. His vision adjusted to the morning light filtering in through his drab curtains and he realized that he wasn't alone. His instincts overtook him as he jumped up from the bed, reaching under his pillow for-

"Looking for this?" The man waved Ruby's knife in the air tauntingly. "You were a bit busy with your pity party last night. Forgot to properly protect yourself." He clicked his tongue in mocking disapproval.

Dean stared at the familiar face through narrowed eyes, assessing the situation. "Shapeshifter?"

Finally the tension broke as the man chuckled and dropped Dean's knife back in his bag. "Good guess, but nope. Just little old me."

Dean continued staring at the man, running over the probability of it all.

"Come on, Dean-o! I know we weren't the best of friends back in the day, but you could at least pretend that you're happy I'm not dead." He paused and furrowed is brow. "Not even like a smile? Harsh."

Dean rolled his eyes and decided that he believed him. Only Gabriel had ever annoyed him so easily. "You're not dead then."

Gabriel spread his arms wide and grinned toothily. "That's what I've been trying to tell ya!" He snapped his fingers and chuckled happily as candy fell from the ceiling.

"Well you've got the entrance down pat, I guess." Dean replied grudgingly. He looked around at the candy littering his motel room before looking back at the Archangel. "I prefer pie though."

Gabriel rolled his eyes, unrolling a tootsie roll. "You want pie to rain down from the ceiling? That just sounds sticky."

Dean supposed he had a point. Which probably meant that hell was currently freezing over. Which brought him back to the obvious. "Why are you here, Gabriel?"

He sat down on the edge of the bed and watched as Gabriel's grin faded into a frown. "I heard your wish."

Dean choked on his own tongue. "You what?"

Gabriel sat down amidst his sea of sugar and chose another treat. "You think too loud."

Dean felt his hands balled into fists in his lap. "Do you regularly listen in on my thoughts? Ever heard of privacy? Huh? Get the hell out of my head!"

Gabriel rolled his eyes so hard that he fell over backwards and laid there staring up at the ceiling. "Boy, could you lower the dramatics? Jeez you sound like a character on one of those shitty soaps you like to watch."

Dean could feel his already-stretched patience about to snap. He remained silent, waiting for the pain in the ass Trickster to get on with it.

"I keep tabs on certain situations. You fall into pretty much all of those categories. So I'm tuned in to your prayers and-"

"I didn't pray!" Dean argued. "I made a wish. A loopy, half-conscious wish. And you showed up, like some kind of hopped up, pain in the ass genie."

Gabriel ignored his rant and began moving his legs and arms to make a candy angel. The sheer ridiculousness of an Archangel behaving so childishly and making a goddamn candy angel had Dean torn between laughing, joining him, and reaching for his angel blade.

"I heard your prayer and I came to investigate. And then when I realized that nobody had died recently, I did some poking around inside your noggin."

Dean was leaning more towards grabbing the angel blade. "Why. Are. You. Here?" Dean growled out in a clipped tone.

Gabriel sighed and finally sat up. His expression was serious and he stared deeply into Dean's eyes. It felt more intrusive than the staring contests between Dean and Castiel. The ones that despite Sam's bitching had become such a natural, instinctive part of their relationship. "Look, Kiddo. I'm not denying the fact that you've had a shit deal. Destiny has made you its bitch too many times. It's not fair. I know that. But it could be worse."

A harsh laugh passed Dean's lips as he stared the Archangel down. "Is that a joke? Do you think that's fucking funny, Birdbrain?"

Gabriel ignored the insult and watched as Dean's body shook with a horrible mixture of twisted amusement and suppressed pain and rage.

"If you could change it all, would you?" Gabriel wondered when the other man had quieted.

"Yes." Dean answered without hesitation.

"I haven't even told you the terms, Dean."

"It doesn't matter." Dean retorted. "Anything would be better than this."

Dean waited as the man before him seemed to think over his words.

"What would you change?"

"All of it. Purgatory, the Leviathan, the Apocalypse, Hell, Yellow Eyes. All of it." Dean replied decidedly.

Dean watched as Gabriel stood up and began pacing. There were two distinct crunching noises before he thoughtlessly waved his hand and all of the candy disappeared. He glanced over at Dean every few moments, who had been watching him quietly from his perch on the bed. Dean could just make out that he was muttering an argument under his breath but didn't ask him about it. This continued for several minutes before Gabriel finally turned and faced the hunter.

"All of it?" He clarified.

Dean nodded.

"Fine." Gabriel smirked grimly and rubbed his hands together. "You want to see if life is greener on the other side. You're so desperate for something different that you'd willingly give up what you have. It just so happens that as an Archangel I have enough juice to show you."

"What?" Dean stood up and backed away from the creepy smile Gabriel was giving him.

"Parallel universes, blah blah blah." Gabriel replied vaguely. "The point is, that every which way you've wished you'd done things differently, I can show you the result of. Parallel universes, Dean-o!"

Dean took another step back with his hands raised in front of him. He didn't like the way that Gabriel was rubbing his hands together. It was all a little too Trickster for his liking. And he certainly hadn't forgotten Zachariah's lesson. Or Gabriel's for that matter. No, the look in Gabriel's eyes only spelled chaos for the eldest Winchester.

"This is going to be so much fun." Gabriel promised, snapping his fingers.

The candy wrappers that had been held tightly in his fist fell quietly to the floor of the now empty room.