Hinata couldn't stand it, he was an idiot,maybe, he found himself caring so much for the guy that just few days ago killed two of his friends and tried to kill himself in the process for his so called ´´hope´´,he cared for komaeda in a way that no one did,they were concerned for the human komaeda,they weren't so cruel to let him die,but even if the illness wasn't spreadable he was sure no one was going to pay a visit, and he understand their feelings towards him, and respected them because, to their defense, komaeda was pretty fucked up and that's little.

he found himself mumbling things in front of komaeda's door

Komaeda was sick,and this time not mentally,he had the despair disease,that's the reason why hinata couldn't even sleep last night thinking if komaeda might die,komaeda was sickly skinny and his body seemed so weak that he was worried that he might break from a touch,he gathered all his courage,for just open a damn door,he didn't know what to expect,his mind was splitted with worry and why the fuck should i care?,one voice interrupted his thoughts.

—Hajime? U-um i don't want to sound rude but you have been in front of the door for 6 minutes since we came !, who am i to say anything to you? i am so sorry! You can draw on me!

I forgot that Mikan was with me to see Komaeda,god and i accidentally ignored her,she has been taking care of Ibuki,Owari and Komaeda she is all over the place i should thank her and instead i am ignoring her seriously what's wrong with me? I shook my head before talking

—Its okay Tsumiki,i was the one at fault,thank you for taking care of everyone,you have been such a help.

She seemed very happy with my comment displaying a little smile

—hehehe it's part of my talent to take care of them so its not a problem,ah! If you also feel bad come at me anytime!

With that i nodded to myself and opened the door,the room was sickly white and smelled to alcohol and medicines,komaeda was sitting in the bed with an hospital gown, drool on his chin and a lost look in his eyes,but he seemed to have noticed us

—Nagito! Can you hear me?Hajime came by to see how you were doing!

Nagito started blabbering nonsensical things about ibuki having a twin and them being the veronica's and how they rule the world with a song called, ''bagel oh bagel '' after that mikan said with a worried look

—I-its not like he's completely cured he just recovered from his critical condition,but im so glad Nagito regained consciousness

Mikan started crying with all her might but suddenly stopped taking her head in her hands said

—Ah,i feel dizzy somehow... everything is spinning around me

She looked really bad, nursing is really paying off to her body i felt really concerned after all she did

—You should go to rest you look really exhausted take a nap its no good if you are too exhausted you shouldn't just take care of everyone also of yourself

She looked a bit guilty but happy tht i was worried for her and finally said:

—I-i will take your offer and be on the on-call room

I briefly nodded to her when she was closing the door behind her before i locked my gaze in komaeda he seemed so...vulnerable, and that of all of the looks komaeda had that is the most terrifying one, because he looked like in any moment he would disppear in the wind im being interrupted once more with the voice of Komaeda:

—All alone with Hajime,huh...i can't stand being in the same room as you Hajime,please stay that isn't me im so happy that you came to visit trash like me

Huh? ,I know the disease is supposed to make him lie but that doesn't mean he is happy to see me,still it kind of doesn't hurt because the way he said it,it wasn't cold like if he mean it.

I sigh before starting to speak hearing him said that is still not pleasant

—Don't worry,im leaving you should focus on curing that shitty disease

—Yeah,hurry up and go away,i don't want to see your face anymore Hajime i was so scared so scared i thougth i would never be able to open my eyes again i was going to die before telling you that you are my hope and ...even now i can't say it no matter how hard i try

Is possible to offend someone with such a daring expression?now i know that he doesn't mean it i think i...

—Too bad i think i will stay a bit longer you sure are unlucky don't you think?

I said while sitting myself beside him in the bed letting out a sigh it's pretty difficult to read someones emotions especially komaeda's emotions wich was getting out of the bed with wobbly steps

—Ha!,don't think too highly of yourself sir i can't even remember my fucking talent what kind of usele-

His words were rapidly replaced for strongs coughts taking the his words with it and his breath all i could do was put a hand against his back making circles alarmed by his state

—Don- be this useless and stupid i said go away Hinata don't be this kind with me please or i will end up falling harder for you specially when im being this rude to you how can you shine this brigthly when you are beside scum like me? Maybe is precisely for that reason.

I ignored his words now they are just kind of bugging me a little they don't hurt anymore specially when he has that look in his face he seems so sad and about to break himself ,so tired and exhausted with bags under his eyes and teary eyes? Maybe im just imagining it

—Anyway let's get you on the bed you seem dead alive and clean this mess

I sofly clean a bit of spit on his lower lip surprised by my own actions but i don't stop and guide komaeda back to his bed he seemed so cold despite being so hot outside and my thoughts were confirmed when he grabed my hand playing with the tips of my finger giving me a tickilsh feeling looking at them so sweetly it made me shiver in my place for a brief moment feeling my face heating surpresingly he spoke

—Do you have a kink on me ? That's so gross haha and what's with your face? Oh im gonna hit myself so hard against a wall for that shit IM SO SORRY you know that isn't truth right? I was so scared of not being able to see you and how that would be my worst luck ever and now youre here and im just so overheldmedly happy!

Im taken aback by him this time but not for his words, is his expresion he is smiling, painfully smiling, is sad and so sweet and i find myself wanting to see more, i comb his hair with my fingers and caressing his cheeks.

I was thinking, if i were in his situation i would have been dreadfully scared, and if i were komaeda, i would have been counscicious about no one coming to see me, i would have been so lonely, following that line of thought i found myself embracing Komaeda, and feeling my shoulder a bit moist apparently he was crying, he nuzzled on my shoulder ,i was right he felt so painfully lonely, Komaeda's breath was so inconsistent against my ear giving me shivers.

When he finally parted away from my shoulder, his nose was red as well his eyes and his lips,his lips were parted and a bit swollen, and his hands were gripping my shirt so hard, like he thought i was going to disappear in rage any moment and maybe he did thought it.

apparently after his burst he didn't have the force to lie or say anything, because his grip was becoming weak until his hands left my shirt, and his head rested on my chest he had fallen sleep, his face was red and there were still traces of tears in his face, and i was so close that i could see a tiny tear trapped in his eyelashes, like a little diamond produced by his grief, and i stayed a while like that, just seeing his face shining with a bit of sunlight ,and i thought that this is the first time i see this side of myself, i never treated someone with this much of affection.

I never caressed someone like that it felt so sweet and painful, as if death were gripping my heart and playing with it it made my chest feel so tight and, i know that even if i try to convice myself, i don't ,i know what these feelings are but is still hard to accept them or think about them,well, i will indulge myself and i won't think about them for now.

I clean the remanant tears on the face of komaeda, and for a moment i clean a tear rolling down on his chin, caressing him with my lips, feeling my face heating up,i lean komaeda in his bed carefully to not wake him up it has been a while since i came i walk towards the door my lips tasting the salty taste of tears.

Hajime i love you.