Chapter: 4

Several days have passed since that incident. Not much have happened ever since then. Me and Yui continued living our highschool life as if that fateful night didn't happen. Perhaps, we both didn't want to bring that up again since it was probably a bit embarrassing for us to talk about.

Well, saying "a bit" is definitely an understatement, considering how things had been going on on that night was more on a direct approach between me and Yui. And what's more shocking is that I even confessed to her that I considered her as my friend, in which it surprised not only Yui, but me as a whole in this unexpected development.

I know I've been through a lot since then. I mean, who wouldn't be? Afterall, that night have been my very first close contact with a person of the opposite sex. Well, aside from my little sister at least, and that doesn't count!

Anyways, I can very much say that, ever since that night, I've definitely have grown closer with Yui. More or less. It's a little embarrassing for me to admit but, I know she's feeling the same way. What with her unusual greeting in class in which, I feel a little different from what she usually does before. I mean, we talked, said to agree to head over to our clubroom together and that's about it.

She usually did this by sticking around me for just about seconds before I agreed with her and went back to Hayama's clique. But this time, it wasn't just her invitation that were said. She talks about various things to me every now and then, of which I took notice of the difference from what it usually went. Perhaps, she just wanted to keep the conversation going or she just wanted to stay with me for a bit longer?

What am I saying? That's probably not the case.

Anyways, that isn't the only thing I took notice of the difference from her behavior. Usually, I was the one who'd always wait for her before we started our trek to our clubroom just after the final class for the day ended. This time, she's the one who would wait for me instead.

One other thing that I took notice is that when we've done with club activities for the day (of which we didn't pretty much do anything besides sitting around unless we have a request or something), she would usually leave the clubroom with the Ice Queen. But this time, she'd go around making excuses that she'd rather leave much later just to go through all that trouble to leave the clubroom with me.

Hey, it's not like I preferred being in there to begin with, so sticking herself around me is pretty much unnecessary right? It's not like there were any serious business that we needed to discuss with. Sigh. I guess, it's not my place to tell her what to do. Unless what she's doing is a bother then I won't hesitate to tell her.

There are other things that I've taken notice of the difference from her behavior. But I guess I'll just let that slide for now.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that we've grown. Much more friendlier, more intimate. It's a good thing, I guess. I very much can tell that things will just go the way it is for the both of us. But, when I think about it, more thoroughly, it makes me a little sad, or unsatisfied maybe? At first, I wasn't sure about it myself, but what do I want to achieve with her since we've both have been honest with ourselves on that fateful night?

To be honest, I was happy. Happy that she was feeling the same way. I mean, who would've thought that she cared for me too? I'm just a loner, a lone wolf and a trash of society who don't care less about himself, let alone tarnishing his own reputation just to help someone with his most "efficient" but cruel method.

See, I'm not just saying that I'm a happy person since I now know that Yui cares for me. At least I have an ally who I can trust myself in. But I won't use her as my own personal gain because of that (I wouldn't dare to). This just means that I should take good care of her too, as one of her close friends, right?

"...I trust you"

...Uhh.

W-Wait. What the hell did I just said?

I was lost in my train of thoughts there and carelessly blurted out something as if I was talking to myself.

Classes were over just minutes ago and I'm now on my way to the clubroom with none other than yours truly.

Oh my god. Did she heard that? For a while there, she was talking to me non-stop like how she usually does on our way to the clubroom. I know I've said that a little too loud for her to hear. But I could only wish that she didn't hear it.

I had a hard time pretending like I didn't know and never said anything during that walk. And the way she suddenly stopped talking really made it look like she'd heard all of it.

She turned her face to me while I was pretending like I didn't know and kept myself to face forward on that hallway. I hope she doesn't notice a sweat is rolling down on the side of my face there.

"Um... What did you say Hikki?"

"Eh?!"

Oh god! She heard it!

"...What?"

"Umm... I think I hear you said something. Or, am I just imagining things?" She said with a thoughtful look as she faced forward.

"Ah. No. I-It was nothing" was the only thing I said as I dismissed the thought for her.

"Oh okay then. So as I was saying..." She said as she continued on with what she was talking about before my sudden interruption.

Man that was a close one. I'm not sure what I could've tell her if she accidentally heard it. Thank god. Really.

After that, things were going on as it used to. I may look like I'm just pretending to be her ear as she talks about various things that doesn't concern me, but I have one thing that I wanted to make sure with her. You could say its my own motive. Not like I'd tell her though.

It's about that night. And it's about that one question that she asked, in which it involved with a certain club member.

Yes. I remember it all too well like it was still fresh in my mind. Still lingering with curiosity, never to sink unless I make sure of it myself.

"Do you not tell Yukinon, because you don't want her to know Hikki?"

Yeah. That's pretty much how it was said by yours truly here. I said in my mind as I glanced at Yui, still talking while she was walking beside me with a cheerful look on her face.

Suffice to say, I of course, was rather taken aback by that question. But due to a rather bad timing the question was, and how I was driven into a corner by Yui at the time, I've never given much thought about it.

It was then after I returned home that I was sent back to that incident where I finally realized about that certain question. The fact that I wasn't able to get enough sleep was proof of that. Man I don't want to go through all that again. Losing your sleep is like losing your precious moment of temporal bliss.

But, back to the matter at hand. I've thought about that question a number of times already. About why would a certain Ice Queen's name could possibly involve with any of that.

About why I don't want her to know.

About what?

About the "date".

And? So what if I don't want her to know?

Notice how I mention "date"? It's just for reference okay, so please don't take that into account yet.

Anyway, that's pretty much how I've viewed it. My own thoughts you could say. The last question is what really matters and it's still bothering me to this day.

Now I won't say I have the right to know. And even if I do, it might put Yui into a state that she doesn't want herself to be. And I don't want that. But, if don't, then I won't solve any of it and I won't be satisfied with myself unless I do.

Let's see, I don't want Yukinoshita to know about the "date". So, why? Why does it matter if I want her to know or not?

Hmm...

Maybe I'll just have to wait when she's willing to tell me? Or if that's going to happen one day, but I feel like it's not. Ughh! This is so frustrating!

"-ki"

Someone, please tell me.

"-kki"

Could anyone tell me, why-

"Hikki!"

"...Ehh!"

I was woken up of my daze as I feel someone's present beside me. Oh yeah, it's Yui. We're still walking at the hallway, just a few feet away until we arrive at our clubroom.

"Ah.. I'm sorry, you were saying?" I said as I stopped walking beside her as she urged me to.

It took me for a moment but, when I finally notice, Yui's hand is currently gripping at my sleeve.

Huh?

I turned my face towards her while she stopped. Her head, now facing downwards, is wearing a rather sad and concerned look on her face. But I can't see it clearly though.

I feel a little bad now. I decided to apologize.

"Um... I'm sorry Yui" I said rather honestly.

Since I'm much more comfortable when I'm with her, I now have the guts to put my hand, and gently touch hers as I assure her. And I did so without hesitation with a smile. Yui turned her head and faced mine, a little surprised expression were present. Perhaps she didn't expect I'd do so just to assure her huh. I stared at her face as her cheeks flushed a warm red. I've got to comment on how cute her face was when she's like this.

She quickly looked the other way. Her hand slowly loosened her grip on my sleeve and so was I.

Still looking the other way, Yui finally seemed to brave herself and said,

"...Hikki"

"Yeah?"

"Could you... Um.. Stay back for a bit after club? I... need to talk to you about s-something"

"Ah... Um... Okay."

Well, that wasn't expected. I just blurted out the okay without given much thought about it. I guess, I don't have any particular reason to deny her request. Not like there's anything I needed to do after club anyways. Besides, there's something I needed to make sure with her so I think this'll be good as times as any so, why not?

"Great! Thanks Hikki" she said with a bright smile as we've finally arrived at our destination. What could she possibly wanted to talk to me about? Her reaction is making me a little uneasy.

Yui proceeded to open the door and greeted the other club resident with her signature greeting. And there's the Queen, as early as she've always been sitting at her usual spot with a book on her hands.

"Hello there you two"

I've got to comment on how comfortable I was when she does that all the time. I must say, I pretty much have gotten used to her, greeting us like this to the point where it made me think that she can be a nice person when she wants to be. I guess it just shows how she's in her better mood for the day and willing to involve herself with others? Afterall, I know her all too well now, that she's pretty much the same as me; a loner.

By the way, since Yukinoshita might not have a clue about our previous date, it'd probably be best if she's unaware of it. I'm certainly positive that Yui is probably thinking the same. So I guess I'll just consider that as a secret between us. Well, it'd probably won't matter if she knew about it or not. Afterall, that time where I falsely assume that the Queen was the one who replaced my previous paper cup? I'm pretty sure the girls had probably planned about it first hand. Eventhough Yui's the one who gave me the mug, it let me think that Yukinoshita might knew that her friend might be having a good intention towards me. Though, I'd be lying if I said that I'm not grateful, I certainly am. Good job Yui! You've successfully scored some good points from me. Well done.

Anyway, club hours went by as usual. We just did our own usual thing; Yui, trying to have some nice conversation with Yukinoshita while I just sat there reading my usual light novel. There were barely any important topics that needed to be mentioned during that time.

Well, I only notice some several differences from a certain peach-haired. She is unusually taking some short glances at me every now and then, in which it made me a little uncomfortable. Man this girl is sticking around me way too much ever since that night. I guess, it's not my place to tell her what to do. I mean, she can just stare at me all she wants. Like I said, we both have gotten closer, and I think it's a good thing. I guess.

On this thought, I began to think back about some things that had transpired on that particular night. Nevermind the juicy details but, I remembered thinking about that one thing that crossed my mind at the time. It was after we've both have said our good-byes to each other, where I was making my walk back home when I finally thought of something very important.

"Am I true to my feelings? For someone as Yuigahama Yui?"

It happened right after that close contact. Whereupon our bodies met in a gentle embrace.

I know I've said to myself to just wait before I make any rash decision. But it seems to me that after several days have passed, I wasn't able to make any conclusion to that fact. Perhaps, I was just being ignorant. My mind is telling me that if I don't put any efforts to sort my own feelings, then I'm no different than a coward, running away and are not being honest with myself.

Sigh.

Then, this whole thing just brings me right back at my first question; about what do I want to achieve with Yui since we've both have gotten closer as it is.

It's like, I have this good feeling where I've finally come to accept her. Even if there comes a time where she'd say that she likes me (more than a friend should), I'd probably wouldn't reject her and said that I was actually feeling the same way.

But...

Wait.

Isn't that just the same as telling someone that he likes them? That's obviously a c-confession!

If I am, t-then that means I really do like her?

It's hard for me to admit but, somehow being with her, in each others company, I feel good, fun even. It's safe to say that I like being with her. I've grown attached. Eventhough she's an airhead at times, it's fun messing around with her. But, is it romantically or just as a friend?

Even if there's just a little chance that I like her (in a romance way), thinking about it, it certainly warms my heart.

So, here's the question:

Do I, like her?

I do.

Is it romantically or just as a friend?

...err.

W-Wait... Why does the thought of that actually happening made me uneasy?!

As I was thinking about this possibilities in my head, I didn't realize that I was deeply lost in my realm of thoughts. And as I've finally came to, I suddenly realize that the two other person who's with me at this very moment were staring at me.

Uh... Wait. What's going on?

I quietly regain my composure, acting like I am just moments ago and let out a small cough with my hand as I turn my head towards the two.

I hope I wasn't making any weird expression back there.

"What's the matter?" I asked them, pretending like I didn't know.

"Hikigaya-kun, how many times do I have to remind you to please refrain yourself from making that unpleasant sight?" Oh no. Did they actually see my pathetic expression earlier?

"What are you talking about?" I said, clearly trying to avoid Yukinoshita's question.

"Are you thinking about unnecessarily perverted things just now?" She asked with a disgusted face, clearly directed to no one but me.

"Gross"

Hey hey Yukinoshita! You know very well that I may look weird from most people, but I'm still aware that I have a brain to know what I should be and shouldn't be thinking. You can't just simply assume I was thinking about those kind of things out of nowhere, I said.

"...Perhaps not" she said after a small pause as she closed her eyes after hearing my rebuttal.

She may say that, but I can clearly see her face suddenly tainted a slight red, probably embarrassed due to her ridiculously wrong assumption about me. Sigh. If you know what you're saying will just make you embarrassed, then don't say it! I thought as my hand automatically face-palmed my face.

I have to say, this whole thing is completely normal. For us at least. There's just never a day where the Ice Queen wouldn't make a mockery of me every now and then. Not that I mind anyway since I'm used to it.

Just as I was sure the topic of that conversation have died down, it wasn't long before a certain peach-haired suddenly decided to butt in.

"Oh well, I think Hikki wouldn't think of such things. Especially right now, right? I mean, that's really, like, just wrong. Right?" She said with a chuckle, completely oblivious to the fact that she was not helping at all.

What are you saying Yuigahama? You're making the situation even worst!

"Ah! Umm... err.. w-what Yukinon was talking about, was.. ah... umm!"

Oh no. I need to act fast. Yui is clearly about to turn into her air-headed mode right now! Worst, she's clearly ruining my image if she keep this on!

I didn't bother to waste any more time before I said, "Okay okay, you guys were talking about mid-terms just now right?" I said rather quickly. I know very well if I just let her be, she'll just make the situation even worst, and I don't think I'll be able to handle the embarrassment because of that.

"Ah! Y-Yeah! That's it. You're right Hikki!" She quickly said as she suddenly jumped from her seat which startled the Ice Queen, and pointed her index finger at me.

You know Yuigahama, you're so pathetic you know that?

"E-Eh! S-Shut up Hikki!" She said, pouting as she turned herself away while taking her seat back.

Hey, it's your fault for messing this up. How shouldn't I was the one who should be mad instead?

I only let out a small sigh as I made a smile, clearly saying that I wasn't mad or happy. But probably amused at her long lost personality in which I haven't seen in a long while.

She saw me, then smiled back as she made a small chuckle.

"So..." I said.

"What about the mid-terms?"

Come to think of it, I do remember the teachers had graciously reminded us about the mid-term exams. If I remember correctly, it'll start on the next two weeks from now, and on Monday, which will last for five days until Friday.

Hmm...

Mid-terms huh...

My mind went off somewhere as I thought about it. As much as the "examination" sounds (which most of the students should be worried about), I'm not too worried about it in the slightest. I must say, after these past few years of experiencing yearly examinations and taking some monthly tests and all that, my grades have went pretty well, if not just slightly above passing grades. But, still, that doesn't mean I should slack off on my studies. Like I said, I'm not too worried, but worried still. Just a bit.

"Oh you weren't listening? Yukinon here wants to discuss about holding off club activities since the mid-term exams are coming up"

"I see"

Well, to be honest, I don't have any objection if that's what she's planning to do. In fact, it could be beneficial since these are exams we're talking about.

"Oh and Yukinon said if you're fine with it of course" Yui added.

"Hmm... Well, I don't mind if that's what you guys would agree with. If it would help, then I'll agree too" I said as I looked at Yukinoshita. Actually, there isn't a need to get my opinion on this matter since, you know, I'm merely just an observer than a useful member of the Service Club. After all, I was "forced" to be in here anyway so having my approval of some sort are pretty much unnecessary.

Still, this is what we should normally do if something like exams are coming up. I highly doubt even the teachers wouldn't agree so I think it's alright.

After hearing my say to this, Yukinoshita only closed her eyes for a bit and said,

"Very well. If we're all agree with it, then we shall hold off from attending club activities until mid-terms ends starting next week, how does that sounds?"

"Yeah, that's fine Yukinon"

"I'm okay with it" both me and Yui said in unison as we nodded while Yukinoshita nodded as well as if to say "affirmative", and told us that she would inform Hiratsuka-sensei of the matter by the end of this week.

After that, we eventually returned to our own business. Me and Yui were just doing our usual thing until Yukinoshita announced to us that club activities for the day has ended and we can pack our things to start leaving. Though, me and Yui just said to her that she can take her leave first since, you know, Yui wanted to talk to me about something as she've requested to me earlier. Thankfully, the Queen obliviously obliged and decided to take on our offer.

Just before Yukinoshita was about to head out of the room, she suddenly turned herself to me, while still standing at the door.

"Hikigaya-kun"

"Yeah?"

"...um"

There's a short pause.

"...No ...n-nevermind" she said, which literally took me off guard at her sudden awkward reaction.

Uh... Hey, what's up Yukinoshita? You look like you have something to say, or something?

"What's up? You've got something to say?" I asked her, clearly taken aback by her strange attitude.

At first, she just silently stood there, which made things much more awkward as it is and finally decided to say something to me.

"Um... I have something to talk to you about. B-But maybe some other time would be best"

Err... Uh huh?

"Y-Yeah that's it. You promise. Alright?" She said with an expression which tells me she wasn't asking, but demanding.

Scary.

"Umm... okay?" was the only answer I gave her. Clearly, I was taken aback, which resulted me to say yes without thinking about it.

She only nodded for a split second after hearing my answer then finally turned to leave after she closed the door.

What in the world? Is that really Yukinoshita I was talking to just now? Somehow, I feel a slight difference to her character for a second there.

Hmm.

I guess, I'll just have to listen to what she has to say for some other time. In the mean time, I have one other request from a certain peach-haired. We're finally alone, so this is probably what Yui wanted when she said that she wanted to have a talk with me about something. After all, her request sounded like she wanted to speak with me in private, not like Yukinoshita were any different.

"So..." I said, intending to catch her attention.

"What is it you want to talk abou-"

I was about to ask her a question regarding her request as I turned to face her, when suddenly, Yui quickly halted my speech.

"Shhhh" she said, loud enough for me to hear as her index finger made a sudden gesture in front of her mouth as if to tell someone to be quiet.

"...Uhh"

"Wait"

Amidst the silence, Yui slowly stood herself up from her seat and jotted towards the door. She is looking outside the room, obviously trying to check if there's someone trying to eavesdrop our conversation.

I just watched the scene unfold before my very eyes. After she was convinced that no one was outside, she closed the door back then slowly went to my direction.

I was about to ask her why she would bother to check outside the room as she stood in front me. Until, I suddenly notice she is feeling afraid, or perhaps, embarrassed?

Her hands were put together on her back while her eyes averted elsewhere. Her face started to flush a slight red, followed by my own due to how close her figure was in front of me.

I gulped as a sweat rolled down at the side of my head. By now, this is definitely just the start of her request. I was carelessly failed to realize it a bit sooner, and it's just about to start. W-Wait, I'm not sure I'm ready just yet!

"Hikki"

"Y-Yes?!" I jolted.

"...I need your help"