The Epilogue, at last. Nine months later...

This… was a lot longer than intended. I reserve the right to rearrange/edit, as I don't think I'm entirely pleased with how it turned out. There's a lot of back and forth in this, so pay close attention. If it's confusing, please feel free to tell me so I may correct it.

I hope it is sufficient. I'm terrible at endings…

Move. Forward. Throw Shredder and head for the ship.

Can't. Shredder's too fast. My brothers. He'll kill my brothers.

"Come on, Fearless!"

Three minutes left. No time. They have to leave. They have to get out. They won't want to. I don't want them to. I don't want to leave them. Don't want to give Shredder the satisfaction. But there's no time.

They have to go.

"Donnie, take off!"

They're scared. Won't leave. Donnie's logical, he'll understand.

They have to go.

"Come on Leo, this is no time for playing hero!"

I'm not. I'm no hero, and I'm not playing. I'm the leader, the eldest. I'm doing what's necessary to keep them safe.

I wish there was another way.

I don't want to play martyr.

I don't want to lose my family forever. I don't want them to hurt because I'm gone. But they need to be safe. I need them to be safe. Can't watch them die. Won't.

"Damn right Fearless, get your ass in here!"

That name. I'm not. I'm afraid. Terrified. I'm losing my family. Losing myself. Losing to Shredder.

I'm failing. Already failed.

I am afraid. I—

Shredder broke free! Don't let him go! Don't let him get to the others! Hold strong, just a little longer.

"I can't hold him forever!" We're out of time. "Just get going! You've got less than three minutes!" Less than three minutes of being a family. Of being together.

They have to go.

"Dude, we're not leaving you!"

They're not listening. They're not listening! Go, run, get away!

I am going to die. But they don't have to.

"You don't have a choice."

I can see it. I can see understanding turn to horror, ripping them apart, tearing out their hearts and crushing them under heel.

I'm sorry. So sorry. I didn't want this. I don't want to leave.

But better me, than you. Always.

"Go Donnie."

Can't let them see my fear. Can't let them doubt. Can't make them live with that. Show strength. Show resolve.

"Like hell we're leaving—"

"Don!" You have to. You know you have to. You know.

You have to go. Be safe.

"But Leo—"

LIVE.

"GO!"

The doors are shut. My fate is sealed.

But my brothers are free.

Safe.

"Goodbye…"

I don't want to die.

"LEONARDO!"

Leonardo's eyes snapped open, brining him from his meditation without warning. His body remained unmoving, sitting calmly in lotus position, the only indication of his nightmares from the beads of sweat trickling down his furrowed brow.

It still haunted him… how close they'd come to dying in that dank prison. How close he'd allowed them all to come.

It was a failure beyond anything he'd ever experienced before. A failure that would terrorize his every dream, day or night, probably for the rest of his life.

They had been lucky. So very lucky. And a leader didn't rely on luck to keep his team safe.

Unfolding his legs, Leo attempted to stand, using the bench beside him for support. Even after six months of recovery he was still unsteady on his feet. Still weak. But he was tired of resting, tired of waiting to get better. He had to get back to training. To know if he could still train…

Breathing deep as he unsheathed his sword, Leo prepared for his first kata. He'd been in the dojo to meditate most every day, all day, but now it was time for practice. This wasn't his first attempt, last time had ended with him passed out on the floor after only a few minutes of exertion. Hopefully, today would prove more fruitful, both for his and his brother's sakes (they had been more than a little angry at his attempts to train in his condition). If all went well, he would finish practice before any of his siblings woke up.

Closing his eyes and focusing his mind, Leo stepped into first position. His muscles were sore and stiff, but he pushed through, his body eager to work. He hadn't been expecting his scars to be so inhibitory; the mangled mesh of grafted skin covering the entire right side of his body was tight, restricting his movements greatly. Yet another obstacle he would have to work through.

After several minutes of simply trying to find his center and relax his body, Leo finally felt stable enough to continue. Moving into second position, muscle memory presented a problem, shifting him in a way he could no longer balance. The sudden kilter caught him off guard and he fell abruptly to the floor, only barely managing to bring a hand down to prevent his face from kissing the mats.

You never realize how much you need something until it's gone, Leo thought wryly.

Requiring much more effort that expected, it took several minutes to sit himself back up with only slightly more grace than which he fell. He brought a hand to his right shoulder, checking to make sure he hadn't ruined any of Don's good work by reopening a wound. Everything seemed in tact. Though it certainly wasn't going to let him get away without any pain. And not just in the shoulder.

He still felt it sometimes. Felt pain tingle down his arm, past his elbow, into his hand. Most days it was so convincing, he had to look and feel with his other arm just to believe it wasn't real.

Phantom limb pain.

Not unusual, according to Don, but that didn't make it any less sensational to experience. Supposedly it would fade in time, but at the moment it was a distraction Leo found very difficult to ignore.

For the most part it hadn't been as arduous as he expected to prepare himself for the adjustments needed for living with one arm. While right handed by birth, he'd always kept up a certain level of ambidexterity in the event his right arm was rendered useless in battle. Time would be needed to fully adjust, of course, but Leo knew he could find a way to work through the bigger changes he'd have to face. He'd never met a training challenge he couldn't face head on.

Though it was difficult to see how he could ever be as good as he was. After all, his attack power had literally been cut in half.

Fighting aside, it was the small things that caught him most off guard. The things you don't think about using an arm for. Balance, for example. Walking as far as the dojo from the med bay had left him feeling left-heavy, like he was leaning to one side and couldn't straighten out. Reaching for an outstretched hand was another. Three months ago—the first time Don had allowed him to sit up in bed—Mikey offered his hand to help Leo up, and the elder had only laid there, staring, trying to reach with a limb no longer attached to him. A quick correction had followed, hopefully without notice by the others, but it was odd to think of all the small things he'd have to do left handed now. All the things he wouldn't be able to do at all.

He sighed.

What's done was done. He was alive, and by all accounts, that was a miracle.

He would be grateful.

"Leo!" April cried as she rushed to his side, her eyes alight with horror at the sight of his burns and mangled arm. There was so much blood on the floor.

"Oh man…" Casey whispered, a similar look in his features.

"April, do you have the supplies?"

The red-head didn't even hear Don's question as she stared at the unconscious turtle. What she wouldn't give to have seen him open his eyes just then. To know he was—

"April!"

"Y-Yes." She shook her head, forcing all emotions down to make way for objective focus. "Everything but the atropine."

Don figured as much. "Get out the needle and start drawing blood from Raph."

April did as instructed, not bothering to protest the idea of taking blood from a guy who was still recovering from severe injuries. Don always had his reasons.

Casey could only stand, gawking. "What the hell happened, Donnie? I thought… I thought Leo was…"

"So did I." Don mumbled as he grabbed the burn ointment and applied it to the areas he thought were salvageable. "The explosion should've—There's no way he—It doesn't matter." He grabbed the gauze and moved to Leo's side, pulling out his makeshift stitches of sewing thread and preparing to redo the job properly.

Casey stepped closer, trying to calm the nausea that rose up at closer inspection of Leo's injuries. He looked like he'd been blown half to hell. "Anything I can do?"

"Come and help me with—"

"Raph!" April cried in surprise as the muscular turtle nearly fell on top of her before Casey caught him. "See, this is why I told you to sit down!

"M'fine." He mumbled, grabbing his head to ward off the dizziness. April had barely taken a pint of blood and already he felt like he was going to pass out.

"No you're not." Casey used his foot to pull a stool closer. "Sit. Or I'll make you sit."

Raph managed a weak smirk. "I would love to see you try."

"Later." April cut in, holding the bag up as blood poured in. Once filled, she pulled the needle from Raph's arm and moved to hook it up to Leo, nodding at Casey to stand near Raph in case he fainted. He was starting to look pale again. "What's the plan, Donnie?"

"Scrub up." He said, finally finishing his stitches. "We need to crack open his plastron to set his ribs right."

"You what!?" Mikey suddenly snapped his eyes over to Don.

"It's the only way to get to the bones." An unfortunate setback to being a turtle. "Don't worry, it'll heal." Wiping the sweat from his brow as he threw out the blood soaked gauze, Don looked at his brother's vitals on the monitor: low, but still stable. He only prayed that lasted through the surgery. Turning to Splinter, Don gave an apologetic look. "I need everyone out." He couldn't do this with his family standing around watching his every move.

"Ain't no way I'm—"

"Raphael," Splinter interrupted. "Your brother needs room to work. We will wait outside." It wasn't a request.

Raph absolutely hated the idea of being stuck outside the room, not knowing if Leo would be alive when the doors opened again. But he wasn't about to argue with Sensei. With help from Casey, he stood and walked slowly to the door, glancing over his shoulder at his older brother. He better damn well pull through this.

Mikey stared at Leo, heart breaking at knowing he couldn't stay by his side. But it was for the best. Donnie would fix him up and then he'd be awake and talking before he knew it. Giving his brother's hand one more reassuring squeeze, Mikey stood from his chair and walked out with Splinter's paw on his shoulder.

"It will be alright, my sons." He spoke, taking one last glimpse at his pale eldest before closing the door behind him. "Your brother will be alright."

Please... let it be so.

Standing once more, Leo prepared his stance again, determined to make it through his routine before the others woke and found him practicing. They were sure to throw a harsh-because-we-care lecture in his face for training when he wasn't supposed to, but Leo couldn't help it. He needed to do this. Needed to know…

Crouching to better balance himself, Leo swung his katana up and into his next kata. It felt good to be moving again. Felt good to be in control of something again. He took a deep breath, enjoying the stillness, the quiet, and the peace. Even his sore muscles relaxed at being back in familiar exercise. It was good to be—

"Don?" Leo put a hand to his neck but felt no pulse.

"Come on bro, we're so close. You can't do this now. Don…"

"DONNIE!"

Leo fell out of his kata, barely able to keep himself from tumbling to the floor again. It was amazing how powerful they still were… the images, the voices, the fear. All of it. Every time he felt he was moving past it, a memory would slam him back behind those prison bars where he could do nothing but watch his brothers suffer in front of him. Could do nothing but watch… It took great effort to shake them off and remember his family was safe now. Remember how to breathe.

But while the fear would dissipate, the guilt never did. Never would. Not when his family had been so direly wounded by his horrible leadership.

During the first few months of his recovery, his family had filled in Sensei, April, and Casey about their time in the prison, leaving out unnecessary details that would only bother them to hear. But it was those details that needed to be talked out the most. In the weeks to follow, conversation steered as far away from the prison as possible, until it was no longer spoken of at all. Not by his brothers, Sensei, or their friends.

They were avoiding it. Avoiding the memories, avoiding the fear. Avoiding each other's pain. No one was willing to open up. And because of it, no one was moving on.

Raph became unusually quiet and placid and barely spoke to anyone in anything but grunts or brief eye contact, Mikey would barely look Raph in the eyes without appearing like he wanted to run screaming from the room, and Donnie had cut out everyone by shutting himself in his lab most hours of the day. Even Casey and April seemed more distant when they visited.

Everyone felt responsible for what happened, and no one wanted to talk about it.

For Leo, the worst part was seeing the way his brothers looked at him. Sympathy, pity, pain, it all made him feel… less. Made him feel his failure all the more potently. But he would take their looks of pity over avoidance. Up until a few weeks ago, they had all been keeping their distance, like they were afraid he would break if they got too close. Don especially. He avoided Leo like the plague, only speaking to him when checking on his injuries. And even then he avoided eye contact as much as possible.

They were still a mess. Shredder had done his job well, and it hurt Leo to watch. He missed his brothers… missed being a family. But there are some things in life that can't be rushed, or so he told himself.

The past few weeks had been better. He'd finally spoken openly with Don, hopefully absolving him of whatever guilt he'd harbored, and Mikey was creeping back to his old eccentric ways, avoiding Raph less and less.

They were finally healing. Emotionally and physically. It looked like most of them would escape with little more than a small scar or two, which Leo imagined was also partly why his brothers avoided him for so long; his appearance was much more tarnished than the others. Aside from the obvious missing limb, the right side of his body was tattered with burn scars and grafted skin, particularly around his shoulder, collar bone, and face. Even parts of his shell were left half a shade darker from the scolding heat of the explosion.

The explosion that somehow hadn't claimed his life.

To Leo, they were deserved; injuries and scars he'd earned through his own failure as a leader. But to his brothers they were likely a reminder of what almost happened. What they hadn't been able to save him from.

"Don!"

"But Leo—"

"GO!"

"LEONARDO!"

Sighing a long, tranquil breath, Leo closed his eyes, allowing the memory to pass. It would be alright. His brothers were the most resilient people in the world, they'd proven it time and again. They'd been through the toughest of battles and craziest adventures and were always able to put it behind them. They could make it through this.

"He's burning up!" Mikey's fearful cry was barely heard above Don's frantic thinking. Pulse racing, rapid breathing, high fever; all signs that the infection in Leo's arm was not only staying strong, but growing and spreading like wildfire. The antiseptics April brought were over-the-counter and not nearly strong enough to stay whatever bacteria had made their home in Leo's body. If Don had been able to get to it sooner, perhaps he could have—Or maybe if he had some penicillin—but they were running out of time and Don was running out of ideas.

"Don!" Raph's worried voice jolted him from his thoughts. He turned to see Leo shaking like a leaf. "What's wrong with him!?"

"He's shivering."

"But he's boiling hot!"

"I know, that's how fevers—"

A low moan escaping Leo's lips cut him off. He was in pain… still in pain! It had been days since he'd come back and everything had only gotten worse. They'd managed to patch him up pretty well, but the infection in his arm was wreaking havoc on his body. They'd already burned through all the supplies April had brought, and Leo was no closer to winning his fight against the illness. Don made sure to keep his hands steady, keep calm on the outside, but everything inside was screaming.

They had Leo back. He was alive. Here. Against all odds, he was here. And they were losing him all over again. If they couldn't stop the infection from spreading, Leo would—

No. Don stopped that train of thought dead in it's tracks. Leo was not going to die. Don wouldn't let it happen. Not again. Not EVER again.

There was one thing that could stop the infection. If it saved Leo's life—But they didn't have any more medication strong enough to numb the pain. If he did this, Leo would feel it. Every bit of it.

It was the only way.

"Mikey," Don looked over at his youngest brother who's worried eyes only glanced away from Leo briefly. "I need you to go to my room and find my detailing goggles, the ones with the different sized magnifying glasses attached."

"What for?"

"I'm going to get a closer look at Leo's side, just to make sure it's not infected like his arm."

"I got it Don, what do they—?"

"No, Casey, I need you here. But Sensei, maybe you could go with him, help him find them faster."

The room looked at Don quizzically as he turned away to take stock of his supplies.

"You really need both of us looking?" Mikey asked, extremely reluctant to leave his brother's side.

"I need them quickly. The faster the better." Don kept his shell to his brother as he sifted through equipment, choosing his tools carefully. Splinter stood, ushering his youngest out of the room.

"Do not fear, my son. Leonardo will be here when we return." Splinter moved to Donatello, giving his shoulder a light squeeze. Don didn't know how, but Sensei clearly knew what he was planning and was going along with the ruse. For Mikey's sake.

Mikey was still hesitant. What if something happened while he was gone? Giving Leo's hand a final squeeze, he stood, placing a hand on his brother's head and leaning close. "Stay strong, Leo." He whispered before turning to Don. "We'll be right back!" And both he and Splinter headed out of the med bay.

"Donnie?" April's questioning tone asked what they were all wondering.

"I'm going to need you three to help."

"With what?" Casey prodded again, still not understanding.

"April, you'll staunch the blood flow while I sew him up,"

Raph stood, uneasy both in stance and mind. "And us?"

Don turned, facing the others with his small, utility sized bone saw, clenching his jaw in place as he set his eyes resolutely. "I need you to hold him still."

As Mikey and Splinter walked towards Don's room, the young turtle stared at the floor dismally. "Don doesn't really need his goggles, does he?"

Splinter turned to his son who had stopped walking, glancing at his Father with knowing, terrified eyes. "No, my son." He said quietly, placing his hand on Michelangelo's shell.

"That's what I thought."

Splinter held his son tight against him as Mikey buried his face in his Father's robe, trying to drown out the pained screams coming from behind the doors.

"Leo…"

Mikey cried.

Another deep inhale as he appreciated breathing without the hindrance of his rib poking the air from his lungs, Leo moved back into position, preparing his next kata. Ignore the distractions, focus on training. The others were sure to wake soon.

Sweat beaded down his skin, his body feeling faint from exertion. But his muscles easily flowed through each position, remembering their way as they went and enjoying the familiarity of it. For several minutes he flowed through his routine, slowly and with more difficulty, but a tranquility in his spirit that had been missing for far too long.

Unfortunately, fatigue set in quickly, stealing his peace of mind as he fought to keep himself upright. He could keep going. It was an easy routine, he could finish.

As he moved heavily into his next position, raising his blade above his head, a sudden twitch in his right shoulder sent pain coursing down his side and knocking him off balance once more. Reflexively attempting to catch himself with a limb no longer there, Leo unceremoniously crashed to the floor, his weapon skidding across the mat to land at a pair of feet standing at the entrance.

It took a moment for Leo to shake his head of the dizziness and get a grip on the pain, but he was quick to pull himself together once he noticed someone watching him from the door.

"Don's gonna pitch a fit if he sees you in here trainin'." Raph spoke gruffly, picking up the katana at his feet and trying to hide the worry in his eyes.

"You're one to talk." Leo retorted, noting the light sheen of sweat across his brother's brow, proof enough that he'd been doing his own training this morning. "I thought Don confiscated your sai until further notice."

"He did. Didn't take down my punching bag though."

Raph smacked a fist into his palm to emphasize his point, making Leo grin momentarily, until the slight grimace of pain that passed through Raph's face as he flexed his right hand wiped it away. "It still hurt?"

Raph didn't reply right away, looking to his hand as he curled it back into a fist. "A bit. Grip's not as solid, but…" He glanced at Leo's right shoulder. "It's fine." Handing back the katana, Raph looked to the bench where it's partner sat alone. "What about you?" He nodded to the lonely blade. "Must be weird."

"It's taking some getting used to." Leo admitted. Truthfully, it was almost more upsetting having lost the ability to wield both katanas than it was forfeiting his arm. His swords were very much a part of him, and losing one was like… well, like losing a limb.

"Knowing you, you'll be a master in a month." The scoff in his voice was not unnoticed.

"We'll see." Leo turned to hide the sadness that crossed his features as he twirled his weapon into it's sheath and placed the blade beside it's counterpart. "You talk to Mikey yet?"

"Sort of." Raph nodded. It hadn't been much of a conversation, but it had been necessary. "Kid's finally stopped avoiding me. Never thought I'd actually miss hearing his annoying voice."

Leo chuckled. "That bad?"

"He was… off." Raph folded his arms, glaring at the floor. "Even when he laughed—which was almost never the past few months—he looked sad. And anytime I coughed or winced or blinked for too long he'd get this look on his face like I was—"

"—Dying?"

Raph huffed, peering at Leo through frustrated eyes. "He did it to you too, you know."

"Sometimes." Leo admitted. "But he'd usually get distracted trying to take my mind off this." He rubbed his stump of a shoulder, smiling slightly as he recalled all the ridiculous toddler tales Mikey had spun any time Leo so much as glanced at his right side. "You can't blame him. I hear your recovery was rather… dramatic." No details were given since no one seemed inclined to talk about it in depth, but he'd been told the gist. "The fact that he's bounced back as quickly as he has in impressive."

"More dramatic than that?" Raph scoffed, nodding to Leo's missing limb. "I doubt it."

"You died, Raph."

"So did you, Leo." Raph's eyes met his brother's with a pain in them that made Leo sigh in resignation. He almost missed the days when Raph would only look at him with contempt.

"Technically I was never dead. Only presumed." Leo bent to pick up his weapons, putting them back in their place on the wall one at a time. He could feel Raph's glare boring a hole in his shell. "…I'm…sorry, Raph. For staying behind. I know you don't like it when I—"

"Forget it, Fearless. We both know you better, you're not sorry at all."

Leo couldn't help but grin. "No, but I thought—"

"You did the right thing." Raph hated saying it out loud, tensing and refusing to meet Leo's eyes as he spoke. "We wouldn'ta made it out if you hadn't…" He sighed angrily. "Not that I'm saying you should make a habit out of it or nothin', 'cause you're still an idiot for doing it, but…" Finally, he looked up at his brother, forcing himself to hold his gaze. "Thanks."

Walking closer, Raph shoved a finger in his brother's face. "Don't EVER do it again."

Leo was taken off guard by the gratitude, expecting a lecture on his poor leadership choices as opposed to a thank you. He mentally chastised himself for assuming his brother's contempt. "I make no promises. That's what brothers do."

Raph rolled his eyes, unable to hide a slight chuckle. "Which reminds me,"

Leo suddenly saw Raph's fist coming at his face, but his muscles were too slow to block. His chin caught the best of it, toppling him to the floor. Rubbing his chin, Leo looked up at his brother, bewildered. "What was that for!?"

"I told you if you pulled a stunt like that again, I'd clock ya one."

While the memory was still fresh in Leo's mind, it was surprising that Raph remembered it as well. "That was a long time ago."

"Memory of an elephant." Raph tapped his temple with a grin before offering his brother a hand.

Leo took it, pulling himself up unsteadily before rubbing his chin again. "And the right hook of a gorilla."

"Consider yourself lucky you're healing. I still owe you for throwing me like a football."

"Speaking of, you could stand to lose a few pounds." Leo felt his legs buckling under him and grabbed his brother's arm to steady himself. Not that he enjoyed being a punching bag, but it was relieving to see his injury hadn't changed anything; Raph wasn't going to treat him like an invalid, and that knowledge alone made his impairment easier to deal with. Raph was still worried, to be sure, but the pity was gone. And that made all the difference. Now if he could get Mikey and Don to do the same.

"You alright?" Raph finally asked, worried he'd gone too far too soon.

"Fine. Just tired." Leo kept his breathing steady, working not to show how truly exhausted he was. He felt like he'd run a marathon with his shoulder in a vice. Six months and he was still this weak…

"Come on." Raph turned, slinging Leo's arm over his shoulder. "I'll walk you back."

Leo's first instinct was to refuse, but he held his tongue. This was the longest conversation he'd had with his brother since coming home and he didn't want to end it with an argument.

Raph moved slowly, noting that every step had Leo leaning more weight on him. Fearless had pushed himself too hard, what else was new? As they walked towards the door, Raph couldn't help but glance at his brother's right shoulder. He doubted the terror of that operation would ever leave him, not after what he'd had to do… but Leo clearly held no grudges or regrets. Even so, Raph couldn't shake the guilt. He suddenly stopped, gripping his brother's arm over his shoulder slightly tighter as his muscles tensed.

Leo glanced at Raph, confused by his sudden change in demeanor. "…Raph?"

"I'm…" Raph mentally sighed at how difficult it was to say the words. "I'm sorry… 'bout your arm. 'Bout… all of it." He had no idea what his own recovery was like, but if it was anything as traumatic as Leo's, Raph couldn't blame his younger brothers for their timidity in talking about it. 'Touch and go' was officially his least favorite phrase, because it didn't even begin to describe how terrifying it'd been watching Leo suffer those few weeks, not knowing if he'd make it out alive or not. Especially the operation… it was a scene that played out in his nightmares constantly.

And it was all because they'd left him behind.

Leo didn't reply right away. He accepted his brothers' apologies every time they gave them because he knew they needed to deal with their guilt in their own ways. And while he couldn't fathom how on earth they blamed themselves for what happened, he was more than willing to offer consolation. "Not your fault." He glanced at his brother's healing chest, a scar forming over the stab wounds and under the cracked piece of plastron. "Could have been worse." Much worse.

Raph noticed his stare and shook his head; of course Leo would accept losing a limb to save their lives. Of course he wouldn't be pissed. Of course he would just pick himself up and dust himself off and continue on like nothing ever happened.

Such innocuous pragmatism normally stirred Raph's rage to a boiling point, but for once, he was grateful for Leo's practical personality.

Continuing his slow step, Raph turned his face away from his brother so as not to give away the relief he felt. "Let's put a pin in that thought." And never speak of it again.

"Bring me the young one."

More pain. More torture. At least it wasn't his brothers, but he still didn't look forward to the—

"Take me!"

Wait, no! This couldn't be happening! Raph wasn't actually going to—

"…If you insist."

Taken. Taken away. All because Mikey was too weak to—

—a cry bellowed through the room, drowning the turtles in bone-chilling anguish. Another scream quaked from Raph's body.

What was happening to him!? What was Shredder doing to Raph!?

"I-...I can't hear him breathing…"

"Raph?"

His brother was dying. Blood everywhere. Something else was screaming…

The machine.

No breath. No life.

He was—Raph was—Couldn't be! No, this was wrong! Raph couldn't be—because of him! Because of Mikey! Volunteered for—He couldn't be—

"Your brother has fought long and hard. It is time we let him rest."

Flatline.

Gone.

"RAPH!"

NO!

Mikey jolted awake, sweat pouring down his temple to his neck. His heart beat so fast he could barely breathe.

The same nightmare… every night. Every night for the past two months. And it still scared him. Terrified him.

Closing his eyes to hold back the tears, Mikey brought his knees to his chest and hugged them close, silently waiting for the fear to go away. Everything would be alright. It was just a dream. Just a—

Suddenly there was an arm over his shoulder, and Mikey could already feel his body relaxing. He opened his eyes, blinking away the moisture, and looked up to see Raph sitting next to him, avoiding eye contact. Guilt staked his heart, as it did every time he'd been around Raph since he woke up, and Mikey's first reaction was to run from it. Run from the guilt. Run from Raph.

But he couldn't pull away.

As if reading his thoughts, Raph's arm wrapped further over Mikey's shoulders, pulling him close against his plastron.

Mikey felt his guilt grow, pounding his heart even faster. It took several minutes before he found the courage to look his brother in the eyes, relieved to see Raph still staring at the wall. "Raph… I—"

"It was just a dream."

It wasn't though. It was real. It happened. Raph almost died. Because of him. "But I… I should've… I didn't mean—"

"Wasn't your fault. I volunteered. And I'd do it again."

The younger tensed, gripping his legs tighter. Even the thought of going through all that again made Mikey want to curl into his shell and die. He couldn't do it. Couldn't watch Raph—

"Don't you dare! Don't you dare kick off without me!"

"Wake up, Raph. Wake up! We need you!"

"NO! He's not gone! I can fix this, I can save him!"

"Raphael, my son…"

"RAPH!"

Mikey turned into his brother's embrace, listening for the constant rhythm of a heartbeat he'd probably always fear disappearing.

"I'm sorry!"

"It was just a dream, Mikey." The younger glanced up once more to find Raph staring down at him with an empathetic glare. "You don't have to be afraid anymore."

Not while Raph was there.

Mikey shot his arms around his brother, gripping him tight as several tears spilled down his cheeks. And for once, Raph didn't flinch at the embrace but leaned into it, wrapping his other arm around the younger turtle.

"I love you big bro." Mikey's words were muffled by his brother's shoulder.

But Raph heard them and wasn't expecting how much it meant to hear them. His heart jerked and pulled, making his eyes water with tears that he was quick to force away. What was it about his brothers telling him they actually cared that made him want to blubber all over the place?

Pulling the young turtle closer, Raph felt Mikey relax even more into the hug. No more words were exchanged between the two. No more were needed. They stayed like that for close to an hour as Mikey's crying faded, his fears completely disappearing in the presence of his older brother, as they always did. It wasn't long before the tired turtle was fast asleep in his brother's arms, a slight relaxed smile on his face. Raph grumbled something about drool before tucking the younger into bed again.

Stupid Mikey. He shouldn't feel guilty for Raph protecting him, that was his job. Placing a hand on Mikey's shoulder, both for comfort and to reassure himself his brother was entirely conked out, Raph sighed a long breath. "…I love you too, Mikey." It felt stupid to say it even when he knew no one could hear.

As he headed for the door to go and check on his other siblings—not that he was worried, he just wanted to make sure they were all getting sleep, that's all—Raph heard Mikey shift so he was splayed all over the bed, a light snore slipping from his nose. He smiled to himself.

"Idiot."

As Leo sank further into his brother's support, Raph took another look at the grimace in his face as sweat continued to drip down his neck. He was hurting more than he let on. "You sure you're OK?"

Leo nodded, gesturing toward the couch. "Just need to rest a bit." As Raph lowered him to the cushions, Mikey walked into the room and paled almost instantly at the sight of his brother looking hurt.

"Leo!" He was by his brother's side in a flash, worry in his eyes where it didn't belong. "You OK? What happened!? I'll go get Donnie!"

"Mikey, wait." He reached for his baby brother, noting how slow his own reaction time still was. "I'm fine, just tired. No need to bother Don."

Mikey didn't look convinced. "Your shoulder's turning purple, dude."

Both Raph and Leo looked to the area and were surprised to see it bruising. Leo placed a hand over it to ease his brother's worry; it was probably just agitation from his fall.

"Maybe we should get Don." Raph said, eyeing Leo's shoulder with a twinge of worry.

"It's fine. Really. I think Don's finally resting, we shouldn't—"

"I'll go get him!"

"No, Mikey! Don's—" Mikey had just turned to rush to the lab when their taller sibling suddenly showed up behind him.

"Don's what?" He asked, eyeing his brothers curiously.

"It's nothi—"

"Leo's shoulder's hurt!" Mikey cut in fretfully.

"It's not hurt, I just—"

"It's turning purple. You should probably take a look at it Don." Raph agreed.

"No, he doesn't need to—"

"You were in the dojo again!?" Don had removed Leo's hand and only needed one look to know what his brother was up to. He gently prodded Leo's shoulder to assess how much damage had been done, mentally preparing a chastisement of epic proportions.

"I was just walking through some katas." Leo tried to explain himself. "Nothing extreme, I promise."

"Your body isn't ready for that kind of movement, Leo. I told you to stay out of the dojo!"

"Yeah dude, you need to take it easy! " Mikey added his two cents, peering over Don to look at his brother's injury.

"Guys, I'm—"

"It ain't like he was doin' back flips." Raph tried to defend.

"Any kind of strain is too much right now." Don wasn't backing down.

"Guys—"

"It's been six months, Donnie. You can't keep him tied to a bed forever."

"Just because you think you can punch your way to recovery, doesn't mean Leo should."

"Guys…" Leo rolled his eyes as he was continually ignored by his brothers.

"I'm with Don on this one, dude." Mikey jumped in. "There's such a thing as too much practice."

"Of course you'd agree." Raph crossed his arms. "Lazy-Bones Magee here'll agree to anything that means less practice."

"Guys!"

Mikey cocked an eye at the name. "Lazy-Bones Magee?"

"Raph, don't pick on Mikey. We're focused on—"

"GUYS!" Leo's authoritative voice finally pierced the banter, bringing all attention to him. "I'm fine. My shoulder's fine. I wasn't training, I was just testing a few things to see if I was ready to be back out on patrol." He said calmly, replying to each of their concerns in turn.

A long moment of silence passed before Mikey finally voiced his worry. "So you're… going back out there?"

"'Course we're goin' back out there." Raph interjected. "Why wouldn't we?"

"Because you both nearly died." Don's tone had turned grim, almost angry that Raph kept ignoring that fact.

"So what, you two can go out on patrol, but we gotta stay home and twiddle our thumbs? Come on, Don! We've been through stuff like this before! Never stopped us then, why would it—"

"This was different." Don exchanged a knowing glance with Mikey. "It's never been this close."

Raph felt a churning in his gut that warned him not to take his protests too far; Don and Mikey had had it rough while Leo and himself were out of commission, and with both finally coming out of their shells the past few weeks, he didn't want to scare them away with a fight.

But still, "Quittin' is exactly what Shredder would want."

The ill of the room grew as Don and Mikey's eyes found the floor.

Don eventually sighed. "With Shredder gone, there's bound to be a war for his turf. The Purple Dragons weren't content with what they had when Shredder was around. …Things could get rough."

"We can't leave the city to deal with that alone." Mikey agreed. "They're gonna need us, dudes. All of us." He gave Don a helpless shrug; looks like he agreed with Raph.

"I suppose it would be prudent to go together. Strength in numbers and all..." Don nodded timidly, still not entirely sold on his brothers throwing themselves into danger again.

"Damn straight!" Raph barked, pounding a fist into his palm. He couldn't wait to get back to beating thugs and busting heads.

"Alright! The bros are back and ready to kick some shell!" Mikey's eyes were alight with excitement at the idea of going topside after so much time in the lair. "With Raph's muscle, Donnie's brains, Leo's leadership, and my good looks, we'll be unstoppa—"

"I won't be leading."

The silence of the room was as sudden as car crash, all eyes staring at the eldest with shock and worry. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

Leo breathed deep, swallowing his own reluctance. He'd talked with Sensei several times over the past few months and both agreed this was for the best, for the team and the family. And he wasn't going to back out now just because the words fought to stay in his mouth. "As I said, I was testing myself earlier, and the results were as expected. My balance, my strength, my agility, everything was off. At my current level…" He paused, having to force himself to keep speaking. "…I'd only be a burden to you guys out there."

"But you'll get better!" Mikey spate, suddenly terrified by the idea that Leo wouldn't be with them. "You just need time to get your strength up and you'll be back to normal in no time!"

"This is normal, Mikey. My arm is gone. And nothing can change that." He saw all three brothers flinch at his words, but carried on. He had to get through this before pride won out and he took everything back. "It's going to take time to get used to… to get my skill back up. Maybe I'll be able to get to where I was before, maybe I won't. But I don't want to hold you three back because of my inadequacies." He saw Mikey about to interject again and quickly continued. "I'm not giving up. I'm still going to train, I'll still go on patrol, and I'll still do what I can to support you. But something like this…" He reached over and held his stumped shoulder again. "…It's a distraction. It'll take a lot of focus to adapt, and as leader, that's not something I can spare." He gulped down bitter regret as he spoke his next words, extremely careful not to allow too much emotion to show through. "My negligence has already cost us dearly. I won't allow it to happen again." Even if that meant giving up the mantle of leadership.

The younger turtles remained silent, fighting between facial expressions of disappointment, denial, and urgency, all clearly wanting to protest. They didn't blame him for what happened, and weren't satisfied with the idea that he felt inadequate, but as much as Leo wanted to accept their understanding and move on as though nothing happened, he couldn't. A leader learned from his mistakes and did what was necessary to avoid repetition, and that's what he was trying to do now.

It hurt to admit to himself, but this was best. This kept his brothers safe.

He turned to Raph, noting the glare in his features. He was definitely angry. "You're being unusually quiet."

Raph growled his annoyance. "I can't believe you're quittin'. The Leo I know would take this as a challenge and train until it wasn't a problem anymore. Probably enjoy doing it, too."

"I said I'm not quitting. I'll still be with you guys, I'm just… taking a step back." He eyed all three siblings, trying to gauge their understanding. "I'll train with you and go on patrol and back you up in any way I can, but Raph'll be the one giving the orders."

The red-banded ninja snapped his eyes to meet Leo's. Did he hear that right? "What!?"

"You're in charge." Leo nodded, almost enjoying the flabbergasted look on Raph's face.

"But I—"

"You're skilled, strong, commanding, and can even be strategic when you stop fighting long enough to think."

"I think that was a compliment?" Mikey loudly whispered to Don who shook his head.

"I've already talked with Sensei and he agrees that you're the one to take over." Standing from the couch, Leo placed his hand on Raph's shoulder, speaking with as much earnest confidence as he could. "Congratulations, Raphael. You deserve this."

With that, he left the room, attempting not to hobble as he found his balance walking. Leo honestly believed Raph would be a good leader. A great leader. But he couldn't deny that part of him that wanted Raph to fail just so he could feel necessary to the team. After all, if Leo wasn't leader, what was he?

But he refused to give in to that voice. He was proud of his brother.

Raph would make a great leader. Leo was sure of it.

As Leo exited, he left three shocked turtles behind, all standing around trying to wrap their heads around what just happened.

"…Congratulations." Donnie cleared his throat, trying to offer sincere encouragement.

"Yeah dude!" Mikey slammed his hand against Raph's shell in a congratulatory pat. Leo would still be with them, so what was there to worry about? "You earned it! You'll be a great leader!"

"Yeah…" Raph continued to stare after Leo, shock still pounding away at his mind. Not that this wasn't something he'd always wanted, but he felt cheap taking it from his brother. Leo'd lost his arm protecting the three of them, and now Raph was taking his place because of it… he felt like a thug stealing from a cripple. "Thanks."

He had no idea how to lead. What the shell was he supposed to do now?

"Thanks a lot, Leo…"

Five months, and everything was returning to normal.

Mikey and Don's bandages were removed, leaving small marks behind that weren't obvious to the eye. Even Mikey's plastron had healed well enough to barely notice the paled yellow scar that crawled across his front.

Leo and Raph's injuries were slower to heal, but that was to be expected. Especially when both seemed adamantly against resting as much as they should. Leo had only been allowed out of bed a month ago, and Mikey still followed him around, making sure to force him to sit if he looked tired or ill. But despite setbacks, both older siblings were on the mend, and that was enough for now.

Five months, and everything was returning to normal. Except it wasn't.

Don and April stood in the med bay, folding blankets and putting away tools, making sure everything was cleaned and ready should it need to be used again.

If Don never set foot in that room again, it'd be too soon.

After everything that had happened, he wasn't sure how he was supposed to move on. And he was entirely certain he never wanted to have to play doctor to his brother's injuries ever again. He was happy to help them, of course, and overjoyed they were all safe. But after Raph… after Leo… he wasn't sure he could ever hold a medical instrument to his brothers with any amount of confidence anymore.

It was his fault. Everything. Raph nearly died. And then Leo—

"Hold him still!" Don cried in frustration as Leo thrashed beneath Raph and Casey's hands.

"We're trying not to hurt him!" Casey deflected, annoyance masking the nausea crawling up his stomach. There was so much blood…

"Stop trying and hold him!" Don set his eyes back on Leo's shoulder where his saw had only just begun to cut. Even in deep unconsciousness, Leo was feeling this.

No other way. Had to keep going.

"Please, I need him as still as—"

"We got him Don. Just do it and do it fast." Raph's voice was so steady, Don couldn't help but stare at him. How was he so calm?

Inhaling deep to steady his hands, Don gripped the saw once more. "I'm sorry Leo." He pressed deep into his brother's flesh, trying to work as fast as he could.

Leo screamed.

Don dropped the tray of tools he'd been carrying to the cabinet, sending a large crash echoing through the room. He looked down at his hands and could almost swear he saw blood on them. Still. Always. He shook his head, bending to pick up the tools when he noticed his hands shaking. He couldn't stop it. Couldn't steady them. Couldn't make it go away.

He felt the calm of April's hand cover his own and turned to see her staring at him with sympathetic warmth. Silently, wordlessly, she cupped her hand on his cheek, slowing the panic that was racing through his veins, before turning to pick up the tools. Don could only sit and stare at the floor, breathing meditatively to get a grip on himself.

Thank God for April.

"Everything alright?"

Don nearly jumped at hearing Leo's voice enter the room. He quickly stood, busying himself with tools on an opposite counter so his shell stayed to his brother.

"It was my bad." April covered. "Butter fingers. No harm done." She saw Leo staring at his brother's shell, worry in his eyes. This had to stop. "How are you feeling, Leo?

"Better everyday." He offered a small smile before drifting his gaze back to Donnie who was still occupying himself with tools. Still ignoring him.

"Good." April followed Leo's eyes and sighed silently. "I'm going to find Casey, make sure he and Raph are remembering to take it easy."

"It's a losing battle, April."

"Tell me about it." Walking to the door, she gave Leo a pleading look before glancing at Donnie once more. He nodded his understanding.

As April left, Leo turned back to his younger brother, staring at his shell. The tension in the air was palpable. Drawing in a deep breath and releasing it slowly, the elder turtle moved further into the room. "Donnie?"

But Don didn't move, even keeping his voice as distant and measured as possible. "I keep the pain killers in the top cupboard to your left, if that's what you're looking for."

"Actually, I was hoping you could take a look at my shoulder. I think I may have pulled it open a bit."

That at least got his attention. Don glanced over his shoulder to study his brother's injury, able to see the tear along the scar tissue even from a distance. "You were in the dojo, weren't you?" His chastising tone received a helpless shrug from his brother. "Sit." Don sighed, grabbing up some gauze, stitches, and bandages, and pulled a stool over to sit next to his brother.

Silence filled the room as he wordlessly cleaned the tear in Leo's skin.

"Raph, Casey, keep him down!"

"He's awake, Don! He's—"

"Just hold him down!"

Leo's screams echoed in Don's ears as he sterilized the shoulder with gentle hands. "Should I even bother to tell you you're not ready for training yet? Or will you ignore me like Raph's been doing?"

"I was only testing my balance. Nothing strenuous."

"Uh-huh." Both fell back into silence as Don worked. Minutes stretched on as Leo sat still, making no sound while his brother re-stitched his shoulder.

Don could hear Leo's haggard breathing from pushing himself in the dojo. When would his brothers learn that his instructions were for their own health, not his amusement? Finishing his task, Don covered the shoulder with gauze and wrapped it once again. "Should heal fine. But no more training or I swear I'll chain you to this bed."

Another long pause followed as Don removed his gloves, Leo sitting as though he was hesitant to leave. "You sure you don't need any painkillers?" He asked, noting a look of pain pass through his brother's features. Leo shook his head, eyes growing serious as he looked to his shoulder.

"I made you fix it." He finally managed to say. "I failed, and I made you fix it. I always make you fix it…"

Don froze when he heard the guilt in his brother's voice.

"You did what was necessary, Donnie. No one blames you for that." No one should. Leo was the one that failed. Donnie was just patching his mistakes. But Don's eyes stared at the floor, a droop in his shoulders where the guilt sat, heavy and unyielding.

"I…" He didn't want to talk about it. Didn't want to say it out loud. But Leo was actually opening up to him, and Don didn't want to let the opportunity pass by. "I left you behind…And your arm—"

"Necessary." Leo insisted. "It wasn't your fault."

"Leo…" Don couldn't accept that. Wanted to, so badly wanted to, but how could he?

"I'm sorry." The apology made Don glance at his older brother curiously. "I'm sorry I made you fix it…" Sorry to dump that heavy burden on his younger brother. "But you don't have to carry it alone."

"I can't… it's not…"

Leo suddenly brought his hand behind his brother's head, pulling him close so their foreheads were touching. He had no idea why, other than he knew Don needed to feel the truth in his words. "You're not alone, Don. We're all here. Let us help."

Don couldn't feel his feet anymore. The room, the screaming memories, the fear, it all disappeared in an instant as he stood, head to his brother's, feeling a strength of heart he'd been so terrified had died in that awful prison. Words failed.

Releasing his brother and standing from the table, Leo attempted a gentle rotation of his shoulder as Don quietly turned, wiping the tear from his cheek he hadn't noticed had fallen.

Without a word, Leo headed for the door. Don felt panic rise in his throat; he should say something. Talk to Leo! Tell him anything—everything! Before he's gone… before— "Leo, wait!" His brother paused, but didn't turn around. Don fumbled for words before sighing in surrender. "I can't just let it go. Everything that happened… everything I did… I can't... I just—"

"I know, Don. It'll take time. But whenever you're ready, we're here." He turned to offer an understanding smile. "We're not going anywhere."

Don watched his brother leave and felt his heart churn rapidly, Leo's words of comfort still rattling around in his brain, trying to break through the barrier of condemnation he'd built for himself the past few months. Were his mistakes really worth walling himself away from the family he was so fortunate to still have?

He covered his eyes, closing away the tears that wanted to fall. "I'm sorry…"

Not alone. He wasn't—Would never be.

A small, grateful smile tugged at his lips as he leaned against the counter.

"Thank you." For giving his brothers back.

Leo sat on the couch in the main room, enjoying a rare moment of solitude as he thumbed his way through a book. He hadn't heard anything from his brothers in a while, and for once, that worried him. Normally during such tranquil moments, Leo would be begging the universe to let it last a while longer, but right now he'd happily have his solitude interrupted by a shout from Raph or a prank from Mikey or the clanging of Don tinkering away in his lab.

Interesting how nearly losing your family can make you desperate for the things that bothered you the most about them. He was sure it wouldn't last, but that didn't make it any less enjoyable now.

Sighing as he accepted that his mind was still too jumbled for focusing on a book, Leo placed it down on the arm of the couch, reaching for the TV remote to possibly see what the Foot were up to, if anything. Shredder was supposedly gone, so it was entirely possible the Foot could be disbanding without their leader. Not likely, but possible. They'd been quiet these past few months, which was both a relief and a concern. If being leaderless kept them from perpetrating any crimes, then Leo would thank their lucky stars and not ask too many questions. But what if they were quiet because they were licking their wounds in anticipation of another fight? What if they were gearing up for retaliation against the death of their leader?

What if Shredder was still alive?

It was a thought that had haunted him since he'd found his mind after the infection left his body. Leo still had no idea how he'd made it out of the explosion, and try as he may, he couldn't remember anything between his hand being caught and waking in the sewers. Whatever it was that saved him, there was the possibility that it had saved Shredder as well.

Their enemy could be plotting his revenge as they speak.

"This some new form of meditation?" Raph asked, coming up behind his older brother and nodding to the TV screen that remained black, despite the remote sitting in Leo's hand.

Leo hadn't realized he had yet to turn it on. "I was reading."

"You wanna be alone?"

"No. I wouldn't mind company." Shifting on the couch so there was space enough for his brother beside him, Leo watched Raph fold his arms and stare at the spot a moment before finally taking it. "…You're still angry."

Raph huffed. "No."

But the tone in his voice suggested otherwise. "I thought you'd be happy. Isn't this something you've always wanted?"

"What the hell Leo? You can't think I'm that much of an ass."

"Not the situation," He corrected. "I meant getting to be leader for a change. Isn't it at least a little gratifying?"

"I guess." Raph looked away to the blank TV. "Would've preferred to earn it, not get it by default."

Leo shook his head. "You gave us the edge we needed to escape an impossible situation and saved our brother's lives. You've definitely earned it."

"If you say so." Though Raph still wasn't entirely convinced he didn't get the title simply for being second oldest. "I still can't believe you're just givin' it up like that."

"I made mistakes, now I have to live with the consequences." Leo shrugged, still trying to make peace with it all. "As long as you guys are safe, that's all matters to me."

Sucking in a deep breath, Raph felt his stomach twisting in knots. That was all that mattered to him too, which is exactly what scared him. Turning to stare at the far wall—and look as far away from his brother as possible—he mumbled reluctantly. "I don't… I don't know if I'm ready for this. I don't wanna screw it up and get them hurt. I couldn't live with myself if…"

"You won't." Leo didn't wait for his brother to finish. He knew those fears all too well. "Contrary to popular belief, you're not a screw up."

"Popular belief?" Raph turned sharply with a glare only to be met with a smile by his older brother, stopping his anger cold.

"You're already a good leader, Raph. Protective, strong, dependable, you've got all the right qualities, you've just been stuck waiting for me to get out of your way." Leo looked to the floor to hide the shame crossing his features. "Something I would've done sooner if it wasn't for my own fears of inadequacy."

"Inadequacy? You?" Raph gawked. Since when was Leo inadequate? At anything?

Leo shrugged. "If you became the great leader we all knew you could be, then I'd be irrelevant. Unnecessary." Leo looked to the ceiling and sighed. "I guess I didn't want to be left behind."

To say Raph was shocked would be a grave understatement. His eyes were wide as he stared at his older brother, completely caught off guard by the entire conversation, compliments, confessions, and all. He couldn't think of a single thing to say.

Leo grinned at the look on Raph's face before shaking his head of it all. "In any case, I wouldn't worry. Sensei, the guys, everyone knows you'll do great."

Raph had no words. All this time, Leo had been afraid Raph would be a better leader? It seemed way too ridiculous to be true, but as usual, Leo's eyes were nothing if not honest. He meant it. Every word. And Raph suddenly felt guilty for all the times he'd ever wished Leo had never been made leader.

He was about to try and parse some words together when a grimace on his brother's face made him pause in worry. "You alright?" He watched as Leo brought a hand to his shoulder. "I'll go get Donnie."

"No, it's fine, it doesn't hurt. I just…" He blew out a wry chuckle. "Took me a minute to remember why my hand hadn't moved to your shoulder when I asked."

Raph glanced to his brother's missing limb, still unable to let go of the guilt from his part in taking it away. "You sure it's alright?"

Leo nodded, noting the remorse in his brother's face. Perhaps it was time to change the subject. "When are Casey and April coming?"

"Soon. Mikey's been whinin' about not eating pizza for months, so I think Case was gonna bring some." And admittedly, Raph could go for a slice or two himself.

"If everyone's gonna be here, maybe we could do a movie night. We haven't had one of those in a long time."

"Movie night?" Mikey's voice suddenly appeared behind Leo, peeking over the back of the couch. "Dudes, YES! Pizza and movies, the greatest combination since Mikey and nunchucks!"

Raph stuck a finger in his ear to rub away the noise, trying to hide how good it was to hear Mikey back to his usual energetic self. "Do you have any volume level below extremely annoying?"

"Pizza's here!" Casey called, stealing Mikey's attention away from the retort he'd been ready to fire.

"Finally!" The youngest turtle bound over to the two entering the lair, snatching a box from Casey's full hands.

"Good thing we brought plenty." April mumbled, turning her lip up at how Mikey practically drooled as he opened the box to smell the food inside.

"Leo says we're having a movie night, you in?"

"Alright!" Casey dropped the remaining pizza's on the table. "Dudes, NHL playoffs start tonight! Nothin' like scarfin' down some pies while watchin' guys kill it on the ice!"

"Dude, what part of movie night are you not understanding?"

"I think there's a monster movie marathon on tonight." April interjected, remembering the radio in the pizza shack saying something about it.

"Booyah! We have a winner!" Mikey shouted, turning to Casey for a high-five.

"Would Godzilla be playing in this marathon?" Splinter walked into the room, a smile on his face at hearing the lair so full of energy once more. "It is a favorite of mine."

"Or Pacific Rim! Dudes, that movie's da bomb! Giant robots fighting giant monsters, what more could you want!?"

April chuckled at Mikey's enthusiasm. "I'll check online."

The group's boisterous conversation wafted into the main room, drawing both Leo and Raph's attention. "You better get over there if you want some pizza. I think Mikey's already devoured—"

"You're not irrelevant."

Leo turned to find Raph staring at the far wall again, his arms tensing into a tighter fold.

"You not leadin' doesn't make you irrelevant. You're still our big brother. We still need you. …I still…"

Even without Raph finishing his sentence, Leo felt his eyes widen in surprise. His mind drifted back to the memory that had helped him keep going back in the tunnels.

"…We need you bro. I don't know what we'd do if…"

He nodded to himself. Raph was the right choice. "Thanks Raph."

No more words needed to be said.

"Dudes! Turn on the TV! April says Pacific Rim is on first!" Mikey shouted, jumping around the couch with a mountain of pizza in one hand and a coke in the other, staking his claim to a spot on the floor in front of Leo. The others walked into the room wearing bemused expressions at Mikey's ridiculous excitement, finding their own seats in a much less wild manner. Casey and April sat on the smaller couch adjacent to Raph, opting not to crowd the larger one with too many people, and Splinter took his usual spot in his chair.

Leo looked around at the group, enjoying the company more than he would ever let on, before noticing a key figure missing. He glanced at the door to Don's lab, wishing he could go in there and talk his brother into joining them—it just wasn't the same without him there to point out all the scientific fallacies—but he knew he shouldn't. Don would come when he was ready. And he'd been less closed off in the weeks following their talk, so that was at least of comfort.

Leo caught Splinter's knowing stare as he offered a nod of understanding, which Leo returned.

"Stole you some pizza before the endless vacuum over there sucked it all up." Casey offered Raph the few slices in his hand before sitting to enjoy his own. "You should eat up. You're lookin' scrawny from all those months of lazin' about."

"Still strong enough to pound you into the ground." Raph retorted, scarfing down the pizza with a hunger he hadn't realized he had.

"Oh yeah? You wanna go a few rounds? Or can you even last that long?"

"Don't push it Jones. I ain't above handing you your ass just because you brought food."

A toothy grin spread across Casey's lips. "Twenty bucks says I could lay you out in less than five minutes."

"Easiest money I ever—"

"Dudes, it's starting!" Mikey interrupted, shushing the room. His eyes grew wide with excitement as he stared at the TV screen, shoving another slice of pizza into his mouth.

As the movie played, a content silence came over the group. Even though they'd been home for months now, this moment felt like the first time they'd come together and relaxed since the turtles first disappeared. It was a welcome reprieve, granting a sense of home and safety they'd been so desperate for months ago.

Mikey suddenly sat up, swatting Leo's leg in excitement as he stared at the TV. "I love this part!"

But Leo hadn't been paying attention to the movie. Despite his efforts to the contrary, his mind had wandered, wondering what the next few months would bring. Leadership was a load Leo had hoped Raph would never have to bear, and he couldn't help but feel responsible for forcing such a weight on his brother's shoulders. Raph could handle it, of that Leo had no doubt, but he shouldn't have to. Not to mention, he hated—absolutely dreaded—the idea that he was going to be a burden on his family. If he wasn't leading, what use was he?

"You're not irrelevant."

Leo tried to let his brother's words wipe away his doubts. He may not be leading, but he would find a way not to be a burden. He would still keep his family safe.

Suddenly feeling the weight on the couch shift, Leo turned to find Donnie taking a seat next to him. Their eyes met briefly and Leo could see a light in Don's that hadn't been there in months.

Healing at last.

As Donnie sheepishly scooted further onto the couch, trying not to draw too much attention to himself lest he disturb the movie-watching experience, he offered a small smile to those who greeted him with welcoming looks. It felt like ages since he'd last hung out with his family, and after everything that had happened, it almost felt… strange. Like it was a privilege he shouldn't be allowed.

His thoughts were interrupted by an offended grunt of annoyance from Raph as Mikey suddenly wedged himself into the small sliver of couch space left between his two eldest siblings. Leo looked to Raph, waiting for some sort of retaliation that would end with Mikey back on the floor, but was surprised when none came. The red-banded turtle only rolled his eyes, scooting as close to the arm of the couch as possible so as to give himself more space.

It took a while for Don to settle, still feeling as though he was out of place in this moment of peace. His mind was still at war with itself, still trying to process everything that had happened and come to terms with it. He'd made progress over the past few weeks, but it was still a battle to face the others. Still difficult forgiving himself.

Likely sensing his discomfort, Don felt Leo put a hand to his shoulder. A simple gesture, probably made without thought, and yet Don could feel it still his quarrelling emotions. Leader or not, his eldest sibling was a pillar of support, and Don would take every opportunity to lean on him from now on. Because he was here, and every rule of science said that he shouldn't be.

Unwilling to spoil the moment with cheap words, Don simply smiled at his older brother, an honest, content smile that said it all: thank you.

Leo nodded, giving his brother's shoulder one last pat before turning back to the TV. His body sank further into the couch, suddenly feeling more relaxed. As he glanced subtly around the room at his family, all more content to simply be in each other's company than pay any attention to the movie, a smile tugged at the scars on his face.

At last... he had his family back.

The four turtles squished on the couch brought a light smile to April's lips as she cuddled closer to Casey, wrapping his arms around her waist. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been this happy, but she was certain not to take this moment for granted. She glanced at the brothers, taking note of the scars that now littered their bodies; a reminder of what almost happened. What was almost taken. Her eyes drifted to Leonardo and the burn scars marring the right side of his face and body.

"Peace, quiet, and good company."

"The best of company."

She closed her eyes, sighing in contentment as Casey absently laced his fingers around hers. Truly, the best of company.

A blanket of peace wrapped itself around the room, warming each of their spirits. Months of trials had finally come to an end and all were smiling as they shared the same thought:

It was good to be home.

As the night wore on, the turtles relaxed even more into the comfort of each other's company, laughing and joking with one another in earnest for the first time since the incident. Such a good time was had by all that they stayed up late into the night, watching movies and recounting stories without caring about the numbers on the clock.

At some point, Splinter excused himself to go to bed, falling asleep to the sounds of his children laughing and bickering in playful tones. He slept soundly that night, better than he had in months. But he was asleep much earlier than normal, and consequently awoke before the sun even rose in the sky the next morning.

His body feeling fully rested, Splinter got up and headed to kitchen for his morning tea. As he walked into the living room, he found a sight that warmed his heart and fed his soul: his boys, asleep on the couch together, with April and Casey dozing on the adjacent sofa. Leonardo slept in the middle, his head tilted back over the couch, Raphael's shell and Donatello's head resting on each of his shoulders, leaning on him for support, and Michelangelo stretched across all three, using Raphael's lap as a pillow.

The four looked so peaceful. So whole. Splinter couldn't help the joy that spread warmth to every corner of his spirit.

"Goodnight, my sons. Sleep well."

He walked over to the television, turning off the forgotten screen and moved to stand next to his children. Taking one last glance at the figures sleeping on the couches, Splinter couldn't help the memory that resurfaced, smiling to himself as he took stock of the light smile that played on his eldest's lips.

"You were right, my son." He spoke softly, caressing Leonardo's head with his paw. "As long as we are together…"

We'll be OK.

C'est Fini! …At last!

As always, critiques and comments are welcome.

End of Line.

-TRAaP

P.S or rather FYI: I will not be writing another story like this for a while. I appreciate the requests, but this was a difficult novel to write and I don't know as I have the energy or creativity to do it again in the near future. I hope you can understand.

One-shots are a possibility though…

And one more thing (otherwise known as the after-credits Easter egg):

In a secret hideout at the heart of the city, the Foot gathered to discuss their options. With Shredder gone and the Purple Dragons knocking at the door to their turf, uncertainty had spread through the ranks like wildfire. Some wanted to flee, others cried for retaliation for the death of their master.

Chaos was sure to follow.

"We should elect a new leader. Someone has to take over."

"No, revenge comes first! We find the turtles and destroy them, as Master Shredder would want!"

"For all we know, the turtles are already dead. The ship was destroyed, as was the complex—How could they have escaped?"

"How do we proceed without our Master? Who could possibly fill his shoes?"

Thunder shook the ground as a hole appeared in the room, lighting dancing around it in endless circles. The entire compound froze in awe.

"The turtles live. Of that, you can be sure. We will destroy them when the time is right. As for leadership…"

Karai stepped forth from the black hole, a dark smile in her eyes as she stood tall amongst her subjects. "There is no need to fill your Master's shoes."

The sound of heavy boots brought another figure through the portal, it's presence dark and commanding. It stepped into view, forcing every ninja into a low bow of respect with but a look. Karai smiled wickedly.

"Shredder lives."