A/N: Welp, I'm back! How are you all doing? It's been a while since I've written for Avengers and not Captain America...eh, negligible. Today, to explore the minds of the Maximoffs (plus my boy Bucky because reasons), and have a little angst and goofing off, because I can't seem to avoid either of those. Enjoy!

Disclaimer (ish): The puns in this fic have been borrowed from various sources and all belong to their respective owners, whatever that means. All "Sokovian" is Slovak, courtesy of Google Translate, and thus has no guarantee of accuracy. But the translation for pustý teoretik is pretty funny.

Bored With Puns: Part One

"Wanda...!" Pietro complained—well, whined. Complaining would be to put it nicely. The speedster sank into the plush cushions and mattress of the Avengers' Tower med bay bed, deliberately drawing out the last 'a' in his sister's name.

"What?" she asked, looking up from where she sat reading beside his bed.

"I'm bored," he declared for the umpteenth time that day.

Wanda tried not to let her sigh sound too harsh. She couldn't very well blame Pietro for wanting to get some exercise, but this was getting ridiculous. He'd been on strict bedrest since his recovery only a few days ago and had been pining to get moving since then.

It had gotten to the point that his efforts caught the attention of the grave voice in the ceiling named JARVIS, who had very firmly (but politely) insisted that Mr. Maximoff stay in bed or Captain Rogers would need to be fetched.

Pietro had tried nothing since then. But that didn't mean he couldn't antagonize his sister.

"The tablet," said Wanda, trying very hard to be patient as she nodded at the small device by his right hand.

"What, this?" Pietro picked it up lazily, but Wanda could see even then a caution that meant he dared not smudge or scratch it.

She couldn't blame him. It'd been a gift from Mr. Stark...

The thought had made her head spin, and she'd expected—at first—for it to blow up or cause some other mischief. But it had not. A short tutorial had revealed that the tablet was already programmed with a handful of games.

Well, she'd take up that conversation with Captain Rogers later. Or maybe the archer...Clint.

"It has games, yes?" she continued, putting away her thoughts for later.

"Does," replied Pietro, dropping it from his fingers—in a way that it would land harmlessly flat on the mattress. "I tried them all."

"Candy Crush?" she asked, racking her brain for the names she'd seen maybe once.

"Tried it."

"Birds...Angry Birds?"

"Tried it."

"Temple Run?"

"Wasn't fast enough," he snarked with a shadow of his old cocky grin.

Samozrejme, thought Wanda, but even as she rolled her eyes a smile slipped past her lips.

"Still bored," complained Pietro, dropping his head back into the pillow. "Ow."

Wanda shook her head. "Enough of games," she scolded him, trying her best at a motherly tone. She stuck her copy of Little Women slightly in his face. "Read a book."

"I have read all the books!" protested Pietro, batting it aside. "Or tried. They are all in English."

"So?" she retorted, swallowing her quiet desire to agree with his sentiment as she settled it back into her lap. "Our home will be here now. You should learn."

Pietro made a long sputtering sound with his lips. "English has too many words. There are so many words that no one uses but books! How do you understand it all?" he demanded, sitting up a bit.

Wanda looked up at him, then back at the labyrinth of words on the pages in front of her. "I understand some of it," she answered quietly.

Blessedly, Pietro sailed right by and declared, "Not good enough for me! If I don't understand the whole thing, the book is no good. Comics are fine, though," he added, almost as an afterthought.

"Then read a comic book to me," suggested Wanda, folding her own reading (which, she had to admit, really was a bit of a drag) in her lap. "It will go slower."

"And I will be more bored." Pietro slouched in the pillow until his chin almost hit his chest.

Wanda gave in and rolled her eyes.

Pietro opened his mouth again, and Wanda was just about to brace herself for another round of verbal marathoning—not that it was truly annoying, she reminded herself, at least Pietro was alive—when there was a knock on the door. Both twins straightened a little bit.

Who could it be...? Wanda snuck a glance at Pietro's curious face and called, "Come in!"

It could be Clint Barton. Or the Black Widow—Natasha. She'd strangely taken an interest in the twins since their arrival. Or the young android, Vision, who as much answered Wanda's questions as he asked his own.

And—well, the two had made one more friend since they'd arrived in America.

"Dobrý deň, maličkí," Bucky Barnes greeted softly, poking his head inside the door, but his face still wore the signature smirk.

Wanda beamed and was about to answer when Pietro shot up and enthused, "Bratku!" and threw his hands out toward the newcomer. "My saving has come!"

Wanda held down a laugh. She wouldn't correct him. At least he wasn't complaining. "Dobrý deň, Bucky," she replied, on behalf of herself and her brother.

The brunette grinned and stepped inside the door, holding up a small brown bag. "I brought food," he offered.

"That's what I said," Pietro replied.

This time, Wanda did laugh.

Bucky stuck the fingers of his right hand into Pietro's hair and ruffled it up as he passed. As Pietro howled his protests and tried to fix his hair, Wanda did her best not to stare at the shiny left hand that Bucky always kept at his side or carefully in his pocket.

She'd heard the ghost stories, connected the evidence and his own experiences. The Fist of HYDRA...every one of Strucker's 'volunteers' had both feared and aspired to be him. But the man he really was was far too gentle, far too kind, to really be anything but a shadow of what the stories had told.

Nowadays, it only made her angry to think about it.

Bucky had swung another chair around and planted it by the bed, kicking one foot up on the mattress. The movement struck Wanda as something signature to Clint Barton, and it made her surprised.

"First one," he said, handing a sandwich to Pietro, and the thought vanished.

Pietro took the proffered gift eagerly, but his face took on almost a childish awe at the statement. "You have how many?" he asked, voice faraway and hungry.

"Don' start drooling," scolded Bucky, whacking him on the back of the head. "Eat that first, and you'll get the next one."

Wanda laughed, vaguely satisfied to see someone other than her whack Pietro on the head in play.

Pietro began to wolf down his food. Bucky opened his mouth, but Wanda's sister senses were quicker and she'd already told Pietro to slow down.

"Done," grinned Pietro, licking his fingers in no time at all.

"Cho's gonna kill me if this gives you indigestion," grumbled Bucky, but he handed Pietro another sandwich just the same, and it was similarly devoured.

"Who says my digestion does not go fast?" retorted Pietro around another mouthful.

"Swallow before you talk," cried Wanda, both mortified and amused. "Honestly...why do you always eat?"

"Because I can," retorted Pietro, and he met her eyes with a look of complete seriousness.

That was so true, compared to their experience in the HYRDA compound, that Wanda didn't have the heart to reply to it.

Almost as if he sensed the awkwardness, Bucky slouched in his chair and drawled, "Hey, if you think I'm gonna let someone with metabolism like mine and Steve's go without a bite when he needs it, you've got another thing coming. That's practically torture."

"It is!" agreed Pietro, nodding furiously. "I am always very hungry." And as if for emphasis, he tore another chunk out of his sandwich.

"You still have manners," Wanda sighed, but the tense atmosphere was gone and she smiled just the same.

"Hey, at least we can call you Snacksimoff," Bucky remarked, swiping his hand through Pietro's hair before the other young man could defend against it.

Wanda started to laugh, and it caught in her throat and turned into a snort. Bucky's grin got wider.

Pietro's petulant glare arrested Bucky's attention and saved his sister from any more embarrassment. "I read a book of puns," remarked Pietro after he'd gotten his feathers down the right way.

"Oh, so you did read?" put in Wanda before she could stop herself. Oops. Oh well, this will be fun.

Ruffled up again, Pietro shot her the glare. "Nie som žiadny pustý teoretik ako ty, sestra."

"Whoa, easy," Bucky protested, earning a snort from Pietro.

"He could do worse," said Wanda, trying to hide a smirk. Not that he would, but...

"I could do worse!" declared Pietro, sitting up with all the pride of his swearing prowess.

"Puns!" cried Bucky, making it obvious in his attempt to rein the conversation back. "I didn't ask about Sokovian insults. Bet'cha can't make English puns."

"Can! Puns are easy," retorted Pietro.

Bucky sat back, looking satisfied with himself, as Pietro plowed on and Wanda let herself smile and watch the show.

"See—" Pietro paused for a second to think. "Tony Stark is being sarcastic. What is it?"

"Tuesday." Bucky sounded bored.

"No!" Riled up now, Pietro declared, "Tony Snark."

Wanda groaned. Bucky gave a far-off look and slowly grinned.

"Okay," he began, folding his arms. "Black Widow has a cold." He waved broadly in front of himself, inviting them to interject.

Both twins stared and shared a blank glance. Wanda was at a loss for where this was going, and Pietro looked the same.

Bucky sat patiently. "Natasha Romacough," he said, as if it was obvious.

Pietro doubled over laughing, falling back onto his pillows. Wanda held back a snicker.

"She would kill you if she heard that," she warned playfully.

"Nah," Bucky drawled with a grin in her direction. "She likes me too much."

After recovering from his fit of laughter, Pietro sat back up again. "Captain America is not cooked!" he blurted.

Bucky's eyebrows shot up into his hairline. Wanda, who'd seen how close the two men were, bit her lip and waited for Pietro to deliver his joke.

"Steve Raw-gers."

Bucky's face blanked. Wanda was almost disappointed.

Then the brunette doubled over in a gale of laughter for the first time since he'd walked through the door, and Wanda was ready to sing for triumph.

Pietro, by this time, was nearly vibrating with glee over this victory. "Iron Man is a bird," he blurted out over any other voice. "Tony Stork!"

"Iron Man is a pasta," Bucky shot back as soon as he could breathe. "Macaroni Stark."

"And I have a wonderful twin sister!" crowed Pietro, waving broadly in her direction.

Wanda was speechless but smiling, unsure where a compliment like that had come from. And then, to her disappointment and slight embarrassment, she realized he'd said 'Wanda-ful'.

"That is a pun on my name, isn't it?" she asked flatly.

Pietro roared in laughter until he choked and gripped his middle. "Ow."

Bucky looked worried for a second, but when Pietro made a face that was too exaggerated to be of actual pain, Bucky just started to snicker.

Wanda shook her head and got up to leave the room. She was getting hungry herself, and didn't want sandwiches. "Continue," she said. "I am going."

"Wait! Don't Wanda away," pleaded Pietro, stretching his arms toward her. "I want to go outside and see the wandaful sky and the wandaful birds and breathe the wandaful air!"

"Oh god," muttered Bucky, massaging his forehead as Pietro cackled.

"Okay," Wanda challenged with a fire in her eye, turning around to face her brother down. "If you like puns so much, make a pun on Vision's name."

The boys shared a look.

"Nope," Bucky said immediately. Pietro opened his mouth and then shut it, looking defeated.

Children, Wanda thought, and was about to walk away.

But then, Pietro started to smile. "Okay," he said. "We can watch movies on him."

"What? Oh no." Wanda turned around and started walking as if it'd dull the sound.

"Tele-Vision!" he shouted over her shoulder.

She had a feeling this wasn't stopping any time soon.