Just an idea I had in my mind for a while. Based on my other story and the Suicide Squad movie. Enjoy!

text - normal time

text - thinking or memories

text - inner voices

We all have bad days. But nothing has ever came close to the day I lost my Queen.

We had a date night. It felt really refreshing to speed through the streets of Gotham after working all night. Since my rebirth I had grown up to be the King my Queen needed. I took care of the business so she could have fun. And we could always have fun during work too. Well that always ended with a few dead bodies, but Frost took a good care of them. He was the best we could ask for. Professional, emotionless and no useless chit chat. So we left him to do his job after I put an early end to my last meeting – in the form of a bullet to the poor bastard's head.

„You know we will soon run out of business partners if you shoot everybody in the head!" Harley giggled while making herself comfortable in her seat. The purple Lamborgini was my favourite car. I got a dozen of cars, but this one was a gift from my Queen after my first night of trouble making.

„It is time for the people of Gotham to fear something else than red." she smiled while handing me the keys. Her blood red car was well known and feared in the city, and I was glad I could add some purple into the chaos.

„Well he brought that onto himself toots, he ran his mouth way too much." I speed up even more. „Besided I don't shoot everybody in the head. It would be boring."

„I love it when you get creative." she smiled at me which I returned. After a few turns I saw a way too familiar black car behind us.

„Looks like we have company." I said, which made Harley turn back and smile at the sight.

„Batsy, Batsy, Batsy." she sang, while I floored the gas. Her smile quickly turned into a frown when the man in bat pajamas landed on our roof. „Stupid Bat, you are ruining date night!"

I just laughed while she snached my gun and gave a couple of shots through the roof hoping to get rid of our third wheel.

Well some people just can't take no for an answer... a voice sighed in my head and I agreed. I tried to come up with a plan to shake off the poor idiot, when I noticed the water. I did not hasitate and with a sudden turn of the wheel I lined up the car perfectly.

I will rip the Bat apart for making me do this to my favourite car. I groaned and floored the gas.

Harley screamed with excitement almost like she was on a ride at the amusement park and the car went straight over the border, into the water. I did not waste any time to get out and swim to the surface, since I was unable to see anything under the water and I knew my girl will wait me up there.

Except... She wasn't up there.

„Harls?" I looked around and waited a bit before the panic took over and I dived back. After a few seconds my eyes got a bit used to the darkness and I could see the car sinking deeper and deeper. But I did not see the ivory skin or the blond hair anywhere. My air started to run out so I swam to the surface once more and looked around.

„HARLEY!" I shouted. She must be somewhere near. She could not just disappear. And then... I heard the Bat's car speeding away. My blood froze.

Where is my Queen?

After a few minutes Frost and the other guys arrived to the scene, but only Frost and I left it. I ordered some of them to search the water again and I shoot some of them because I felt like shooting someone.

When I got home I dried myself and dressed up, while Frost was left to do everything in his power to get me info. He knew that he may be the favourite but in this situation I will not hesitate to shoot anybody who fucks up.

„We found noone in the water, Boss. The Boss Lady definately made out and is alive." Frost reported while I poured myself a drink. „We could access some cameras on the streets and get some pictures of the Bat."

I took a sip and snached the photos out of the man's hand. At the back of the car I could clearly see my Queen's unnatural blonde hair. My glass gave out a loud rack and broke into a dozen pieces under my grip.

The Bat took my Queen.

„I just planned to play with him because my car is ruined, but for this... I will tear this whole fucking city apart and burn it to the ground. And he will watch it..."If I cared to listen to myself I would not recognise my voice. It was deeper and rougher and full of rage. Because there was a golden rule in Gotham that everybody knew. Don't mess with Harley Quinn's King. And don't fuck with The Joker's Queen.

It's been days since I lost Harley, and my rage reached new levels. Unknown ones even to me. Nobody saw her, nobody knew where the Bat took her. No matter how big of a tantrum I threw, how many people I killed, tortured, blackmailed, nobody knew a thing. It was not any police stations, prison, not even the Asylum.

I lost count how many goons and people had I shot because I lost my already non-existent patience. Frost was the only one who I spared, because he was the only one who I could count on in every situation. He kept me in check or at least hold me back a little so I don't do anything too stupid.

„You can't find the Boss Lady if they chatch you and throw you in prison." The fucker had the nerve to bring her up as a reason. But it was working. The only thing keeping me from literally murdering every people in eyesight was her. I spent every second of the day searching for her, but no matter where I looked it always had a dead end.

„Come one Harley, where are you doll? This is not the time for hide'n'seek." I groaned while tearing another map apart.

Days became weeks. Maybe even months. My fire burned out, and my rage got burried under emptyness. I had been in our room for days, not moving, not eating, only living off alcohol and some espresso. Sleeping was out of the question, because whenever I closed my eyes all I saw was that night.

„I should have checked her... As soon as we hit the water." I whispered. I lost my voice because of all the shouting and screaming I did in the past time. Sometimes in rage, sometimes in agony.

„Aw come one Puddin' don't torture yourself." I looked at our bed and I swear that I could see her sitting on the silk sheets.

„You are not real." I stated just for myself.

„Well that is true, but here I am, because you need me." she shrugged.

„I want you to be here." I didn't even care if I sounded like a whiny child. I wanted her to come back to me.

„Sorry that I left you alone." she looked sad which pained me even more.

„I left you toots, you needed me and I did not see it." I closed my eyes with a sigh.

„Don't eat yourself, it is not like you should have known it. I am usually able to handle anything."

„You are annoying when you are so logical." I snorted.

„Well you are annoying when you are an idiot. Eat something and get some sleep."

„Aren't you the sweetest."

„I did not make you my King to be a mess when you are alone." she said with a serious tone. „Get your shit together Puddin' and find me."

„And how the fuck am I supposed to do that, sweetheart?" This conversation felt really real. I missed our fights in a sick, twisted way...

„Oh my God, I did not choose you for your looks Mr. J. You have a brain, use it!"

„My dearest Princess, if you have not been paying attention, I had searched for you for weeks, and there was no fucking result!" I shouted at the end.

„Where did you searched for me?" I almost did not hear Harley's quiet question.

„In all Gotham."

„Did it ever accour to you, that I am not in Gotham?" My eyes shot open. We did not search for her anywhere else. Well not to my knowledge.

„Fuck." I breathed. „Thanks Harls."

„You are such and idiot." She smiled at me and she was gone the next second.

The talk with my imaginary Harley gave me a boost of energy, but I soon deflated again. Searching for her on a nation and world wide level took time and money. And while I did not care about the later, time was not something I was happy to give.

For the safety of the search, Frost took over and organised everything. He only came to me when something came up or they menaged to make progress. Which was way too slow to my liking. But I behaved.

I tried to do something productive with my time, which was usually cleaning and arranging weapons. After a few days a little shrine started to form on our floor. At first it was only some weapons in a circle, but after a while I added more and more stuff. Laptops with her on the screen, knives, granades, roses, clothes. Everything I found.

„What the fuck was the Bat's problem anyway?" I groaned while I started to clean my golden gun for at least the tenth time today. „It's not like we were causing THAT much trouble... It was just speeding and having a bit of fun..."

Well, it was true. I knew we did not have to do a lot to ruffle his feathers – well... we just had to show up - , but this was a too much bullshit for me. There were days, when we basically trashed half of the stores and banks of the city, and he did not even show up. But now, oh look out! Speeding! Better fucking do something about it.

„What do you think about Batman?"

„Batsy is a gloomy strong guy in a bat pajama. He is my friend!"

Sometimes I thought back to her statement during out therapy sessions. I thought it was a funny idea when I first heard it, but as soon as I entered Gotham as the new Clown Prince of Crime, I understood it perfectly. I saw how Harley behaved around the Bat. She taunted him, played with him, joked and fooled around.

„He can deliver a punch but not a punch line."she often said, and I agreed. That guy hadn't got a single funny bone in his body. He really was a gloomy fellow and I could not take him seriously.

„He is someone like us in a way." Harls explained one day when we were sitting on our bed, relaxing.

„How so?" I asked curiously while playing with her hair.

„You know. Different. He sees stuff differently than all the idiots in the city. But he wants to be a hero and defend the said idiots. He still wants to fit in."

„I guess... But he is not that heroic... Wearing a mask... The people he is triing to defend would turn againts him as soon as he is not needed." I hummed and placed a kiss on her neck which she rewarded with a soft giggle.

„Well of course. He needs us more than he knows. Without us, he has nothing to do. So what do you say if we go out tonight and give that Bat a run for his money?" she miled while she stood up.

„As you wish, my Queen!" I laughed and followed her.

I groaned at the memory. Lately one memory triggered another and I really did not feel like going on a nostalgia trip right now. But I was a bit late with that.

I only saw Harley get serious with the Bat once. And I am pretty sure, I was not supposed to see her at that moment. She still thinks I didn't see her.

We were robbing a bank – as usual – and I went for the main safe with the goons to see our reward. Harley stayed behind and looked through some smaller safes and registers. When I finished giving out instructions I decided to go back to my Queen and spend some time with her. It's been a while since we went out like this so I wanted to make it memorable for her.

„Batsy, you should not sneek on a lady like this!" I heard Harley's cheerfull voice and I speed up my steps.

„Miss Quinzel, this is not a joke."

„Aw, come on Batsy, we are on a first name basis here, after all the memories together." I could almost hear her pouting.

„I can help you." The Bat tried again. I stopped. I was still hidden from them, but I could see them clearly in a big mirror on the wall. Harley was blinking and she suddenly started laughing.

„You? Help me? Oh Batsy, you got it all wrong! I am helping you!" she brushed her tears away and even if the laughing stoppet, she was still smiling. „If you did not look so serious about this statement, I would think you finally made a joke."

„I mean it. I want to help you." The Bat insisted. Persistent much?

„But Batsy, I am supposed to help you!"

„I saw what your help does to respectable men."The dark gloom ball stated sharply, which made Harley's smile disappear.

„And what is that supposed to mean?" her voice felt hollow and dangerous. I knew I should really go in, but my legs decided otherwise.

„You know exactly what I meant. Or rather who. Does the name Joe Car ring a bell?" I saw Harley's positure stiffen, and her grip around her gun and baseball bat thighten.

„You don't get to call him that." If I did not see her mouth move, I would not believe, that she said it. It was not my Queen's voice.

„You helped him in what? To become a criminal, a scum, a freak. Both of you were young doctors full of potential." He did not even move when Harley aimed her gun at him. „I don't know what made you to take this path, but you had no right to take him with you... But there is still hope for both of you."

„Listen here Bat and listen good, because I will only say this once." I wanted to jump in, but the shaking of Harley's voice stopped me again. It was not shaking because of fear. It was shaking because of rage. „I don't care if you paint yourself as a hero and you play dress up to be a good boy and help people. But if you step in my life and try to mess it up, I will blow your head off of it's place. Where were you, when injustice happened to me? Where were you when I was abandoned and searched for help? You were hiding in the shadows like a coward. So don't you dare to come here and tell me to be a good girl. Because I was one. But looks like your pathetic city was too rotten for me. So I became better."

„I am so sorry Harley." The Bat stepped closer to her but stopped when Harley aimed at his head.

„I am not done yet, so shut you face." she shouted at him. The man wisely did as ordered. „You know nothing about me or Joker. If you think I did anything with him, brainwashed him, you are fucking wrong! All I did was listen to him, talk to him and allowed him to grow. He is free to leave me whenever he whishes, because he is a big boy and can take care of himself. So don't even start this whole shit with him! He is my King and if you try to separate us with force, I will find you, destroy everything you ever hold dear to you and burn this whole fucking rotten shit of a city to the ground!"

„You love him." The Bat said after a short pause.

„Well no shit Sherlock! Is this part of Deduction 101? Why the fuck would I keep him around if I did not love him? If he was a fucking toy, he would be dead!" She barely even kept her temper in check anymore. She just waved her gun around and shouted with all her might, like she did not believe what the Bat was saying.

I did not listen to the rest of the conversation, I was too deep in my thoughts. We did not say 'I love you' often or easily to each other. We believed that actions spoke louder than words. Also our relationship was far from normal. We both were hard headed and stubborn people with anger management issues and mood swings. We were basically a pair of ticking time bombs in the same room. We could cuddle one moment only to shout at each other in the next one. Sometimes she would play with me and joke around only to throw a vase at my head the next second. I wasn't better. Sometimes slaps were thrown, punches landed and full rooms got trashed.

We knew better than to make permanent and lasting demage on each other, but sometimes only a fight could get the anger out of our system. There were days that I wanted to throw her out of the building because I found her annoying and stupid. But when I acted that way she just throw everything at my head and promised me the most colourfull and creative tortures if she gets her hands on me.

„Stupid Bat, how dare he!" Harley's shaky voice brought me back. I collected myself and stepped into the room. The Bat was gone and Harls was facing away from me, aggressively shoving things in her bag.

„Hello there Princess, what's the case here?" I decided to act like I heard nothing. My Queen had enough for this night, I did not need to add to her anger. All she needed was some comforting.

„Hey there Puddin'! Everything's good!" after a pause she turned to me and smiled widely. My eyes narrowed and I studied her. If I was anybody else, everything would seem fine. But I was not anybody else. I could tell the difference between her smiles, I could even spot the tears in her eyes and the light shaking of her body.

„What happened Harls?" I stepped in front of her and looked down at her.

„Just silly thoughts Puddin', nothing to worry your handsome head over." she giggled and turned away but I cought her chin and made her look up to me.

„Come on Sugar, tell Daddy what's wrong. I can see there is something." I did not want to push her, but I will not let her skip over this.

„Just a stupid voice Mr. J."She tried to look away but I kept her head in place. Not painfully, but forcefully.

„And what did that stupid voice said?" I asked patiently. I wanted to see the fire in her eyes again.

„That maybe I was silly that I decided to poke your mask back then... That I was selfish..." she mumbled almost too quiet to hear.

„Now that is a silly little voice indeed. Why would it say stupid things like this?"

„I don't know." She looked away and I studied her for a while before speaking up.

„If I was given the chance to go back in time, I would still want you as my Queen." I palced a gently kiss on her lips. „Would you take me as your King?"

„Every time." She breathed and kissed me back. It's been a while since we shared a gentle kiss like this so we both enjoyed every second of it. When we parted she looked at me, and I was happy to see the fire in her eyes.

„Hey Puddin'?"

„Hm?" I burried my face in the crook of her neck.

„I love you."

I was sitting in the self made shrine on the floor. It became my favourite place to be lately. It was practical and comfortable. With every weapon in an arm's reach, I could easily kill anybody who entered the room and did not bring the news I desired. Or in Frost's case the food was a free pass. I kept myself in shape because I wanted to be ready at any given moment to drive even to Hell and get my Queen back.

„I should have really placed the Sharpies somewhere else." I heard Harley's voice next to me. I did not have to look there to know how was that possible. My hallucinations of her became frequent after a while.

„You took away my smile woman, you can't blame me for doing something about it." I groaned.

„It looks good on you, but I prefer your normal one."

„Well I could not cut my mouth open to smile, now could I?" I snorted and touched the black line. I did not even care if this stays on a while, the black outline of a smile seemed to fit my mood just fine.

„I would appreciate if you would not hurt yourself Puddin' while I am gone." she said sharply.

„Yes, my Queen..." I breathed. At this moment I could swear I could smell her and feel her around me. Like she was in this room.

I was thinking about topics I should discuss with her – or the image of her – when there was a knock on the door and someone opened it. Without thinking I pointed my gun at my guest. Frost was standing there, not even moved by my appearence or the shrine I built.

„Where is she?" He should know better not to come here unless he had news. Good ones.

We stared at eachother for a few seconds and I could see that he was battling with this situation in his own way. He knew that he was on thin ice.

„We found her." I lowered my gun.

„Just in time Frosty. Dress yourself up nicely Puddin'. We have a date. See ya' soon!" I heard the Harley Halucination speak up again but when I stole a glance at her, she was already gone.

It took some time that those three words got to my brain and registered there. They found her. I can go and get her. I will get back my Queen.

It felt like all the weights had vanished from my chest, I felt free and happy. I layed down in my Twisted Circle of Life and let out a laugh.

The first true laugh in maybe months.

„I am comming for you Harley."

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! I welcome any kind of feedback, I am just starting to get the hang of this writing thing.