Ch 1: An Explosive First Impression

"Lady Vert! We have an emergency!"

The peaceful afternoon in Leanbox's Basilicom came to a rather abrupt end when one of the guards came crashing into Vert's office. Judging from his look, it almost seemed as if the very hounds of hell had been hot on his heels. Either that or an extremely annoyed Iris Heart. Whichever sounded more terrifying really.

Whatever the case was, the guard halted in front of Vert's large work desk as he bent down to catch his breath. After taking in enough oxygen to remember why he was panicking in the first place, the green-robed figure looked up again to face his boss.

"Lady Vert! There's a situation outside and you need to-"

The guard's words caught in his throat as he fully took in the sight before him. Half-hidden behind the enormous stacks of paperwork was the still visage of Vert sitting behind the desk with an oddly frozen smile on her face. Sensing that something was off about this picture, the guard took a closer look and saw that the goddess was looking a lot flatter than usual. And not in the way that Blanc was either.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me."

The guard gave a facepalm as he realized that he was staring at a cardboard cut-out of the goddess. It was obvious that Vert had placed it there to fool anyone who glanced into her office into thinking that she was still busy working while she was off elsewhere.

"And I thought Lady Neptune was supposed to be the weird lazy one," the guard muttered as he lowered his hand and exited the office. Being no stranger to Vert's antics, the green-robed figure quickly changed course towards the CPU's private quarters.

Once he arrived however, he came across a new problem. Much to the guard's disbelief, he found an enormous steel door the size of a pickup truck blocking his path.

"Oh, come on! I know 4 Goddesses Online 2 just released a new expansion today but this is just ridiculous!"

As it was, Vert had apparently decided to take hefty precautions to avoid being interrupted while she focused on her gaming duties. From the looks of things, she had made sure that even Chika would not be able to drag her out of her room this time by replacing her door with a steel monstrosity that would have put most high-security bank vaults to shame.

Ironically enough, the Oracle was currently busy elsewhere at the moment and in no position to be nagging her "darling sister" about her work. Instead, it was the poor guard who was left facing this unyielding obstacle as he desperately tried to figure out a way to relay his important message. As if to add to his growing anxiety, an enormous explosion from outside suddenly rocked the entire Basilicom.

"Maybe she'll come out to investigate that," the guard said hopefully as he stared at the metal door. After a few seconds passed with nothing happening however, he let out a loud groan. "Oh, who am I kidding? She'd continue playing her game even if the entire Basilicom was on fire." He shuddered as he recalled the disastrous incident last year when this had actually happened. The Leanbox Fire Department had not been too happy with Vert since that major mess-up.

Seeing no other option, the guard went over to the control panel next to the door to see if he could get lucky and guess the password. Much to his surprise however, the panel suddenly spoke up as he neared it.

"What is the reason for your visit today?" the console asked in a robotic female voice that the guard swore he heard from a video game somewhere before.

"Um... I need to notify Lady Vert of a... situation," the guard replied, stopping briefly to figure out the best way to describe the bizarre events unfolding outside.

After a brief pause, the robotic voice spoke up again.

"Is Gamindustri in any immediate danger?"

The guard hesitated a bit before answering. "Well... no. Not really. But-"

"Is Leanbox in any immediate danger?"

Again the guard paused. "I wouldn't really say it's in any danger but-"

"Has Nepgear arrived to pledge herself as Vert's younger sister?"

The guard could not help but sweatdrop at this. "I highly doubt that's ever going to happen. But in all seriousness, the situation outside does have something to do with Lady Vert's-"

"Has Neptune, Noire, and/or Blanc arrived to pledge their undying love for Vert and ask for her hand in marriage?"

"What?! No!" the guard yelled out as his face turned bright red. "W... W... Why would that ever happen?" He paused to give an embarrassed cough before continuing to speak. "Not that I'd mind seeing something like that actually happen, of course. Having my Lady Vert harem fic become a reality would be totally awesome."

"That was a joke. Ha ha. Fat chance."

The guard slumped over in disappointment while the robotic voice spoke up once more.

"Calculating all given answers to determine security override access... Calculating... Calculating... Calculations complete." The guard looked up again as he stared expectantly at the talking control panel. "With the given emergency level, your access has been... DENIED."

As it said this a pair of automated Gatling turrets popped out of the ceiling and pointed themselves menacingly at the terrified guard.

"Please accept these complimentary bullets as your consolation prize. In the highly unlikely event that you survive, please remind Chika that I am programmed to flood the air vents with deadly neurotoxin if she tries to sneak in through them. Now then... Have a nice day."

Luckily for the guard, another explosion shook the building right before the turrets opened fire causing them to botch their aim. The first volley of bullets narrowly missed the guard by a few sparse centimeters as he instantly took this opportunity to book it out of there.

"That's it, I'm moving to Planeptune!" the guard screamed out in a shrill voice. "Even Lady Neptune makes more sense than this madhouse!"

The sound of another explosion and turret fire echoed behind him as if to confirm his thoughts.

Meanwhile in Vert's room, the goddess was ignorant of all the commotion outside as she focused on leveling her MMO character. The numerous explosions that shook even her heavily fortified room did nothing to interrupt her single-minded focus on her game.

Though it was hard to tell at the moment, Vert was actually in an extremely good mood. The last several weeks had been like a personal heaven for her as everything seemed to go her way. Her favorite game had just received an enormous expansion, Leanbox's shares were at a record high thanks to the hugely successful launch of their new gaming PCs, and to top it all off she had even won six different lotteries - four of which she had not even entered in! It was as if fate itself had suddenly decided to dance to Vert's own little tune.

Of course, the CPU was not foolish enough to believe that such good fortune would last forever. All the time she had spent around Noire had left her all too aware of just how fickle luck really was. One moment you could be enjoying your recent success at a console launch event and the next you could find yourself squashed underneath a certain purple-haired tinkerer who just so happened to fall directly on top of you after a teleporter malfunction.

Not that Vert would have minded having a cute purple-haired tinkerer fall on her but that was beside the point.

The fact was, Vert was at least somewhat prepared for her good-luck streak to derail itself in some terribly horrific manner in the near future but at the moment she was too busy enjoying her game to worry about it too much.

"Oh my! Three epic rarity items from a basic dungeon chest? This is truly my lucky day!" Vert nearly did a little jig in her chair as she smiled happily at her loot.

Another explosion rocked the room but Vert paid no more attention to it than she did to the last several dozen as she moved her character to pick up her next quest.

"Gather 8 Holy Pineapples from the Field of Sanctity," Vert read aloud. "Ah, this must be the start of the quest that leads to the first raid dungeon. If I recall correctly, I'll have to eventually locate a prince who's hunted by the Blight Witch and help him reclaim his kingdom."

After pausing to take a drink from her bottle of Mountain Dew, she entertained a rather amusing thought.

"Imagine if I can get my own spin-off game with an adventure like that! Escorting a handsome prince, defeating an evil witch, becoming the greatest hero of the Southern Kingdom... perhaps even acquiring my own younger sister along the way! Oh, that would truly be a dream come true!"

The words had hardly left her mouth before the biggest explosion yet rocked the building violently. This finally alerted Vert to the fact that something was wrong as she put down her drink and got up in alarm. Her surprise only doubled however when she turned around and found the space behind her suddenly warping as if an invisible portal was forming in the middle of her room.

"Oh my-! Is this one of those legendary plot portals that Neptune always runs across?! Am I actually going to be sucked into a grand and mystical adventure?!"

Vert's excited ramblings came to an abrupt halt as the portal suddenly flashed with a bright green light. Rather than drawing her in however, the portal spat out a small disheveled figure onto her carpeted floor instead before disappearing entirely.

"Ow..." the figure muttered in a muffled male voice as he remained lying on the floor. "That hurt way worse than I expected. Note to self: Remember to construct additional barriers before attempting an emergency warp."

With that, the stranger slowly got up to reveal himself as a blond haired young boy. After brushing aside the disheveled bangs that covered his blue eyes, he immediately spotted the gaping CPU staring at him and gave a wide smile.

"Hi there!" he greeted cheerfully as if popping out of strange portals was the most normal thing in the world for him. "Sorry about barging in here like this. I must have messed up my warp coordinates when I got blown up just now. If you don't mind me asking, who are you and where exactly is this place?"

Now, Vert was hardly the type to falter after witnessing such a strange event. Her many years of hanging around a pudding-powered meme machine, a tsundere cosplayer, and a rageaholic amateur writer had left her far too jaded to be bothered by most nonsensical shenanigans. However, the fact that this newcomer had just appeared right when she had wished for her own magical adventure left her fumbling as her idealistic side and logical side raged inside of her.

He has to be some kind of lost prince from another dimension! He must be here to seek out my help to reclaim his kingdom!

Oh please. He's just a kid. Judging from his looks, he's probably even an year or so younger than Nepgear. The most likely scenario is that he's from that local mage school near the Basilicom. He most likely just messed up his teleportation spell during some kind of wizard duel or something.

As her inner personas continued to argue, Vert realized that the boy was still waiting for an answer to his question. Putting her mental dilemma on hold for the time being, she faced the kid with a small smile of her own.

"My name is Vert," she said in a perfectly calm and professional voice. If there was one good thing that came out of all those boring dinner parties that Chika had forced her to host, it was the skill of being able to give out formal introductions without any conscious effort. "I'm the CPU of Leanbox and this is my Basilicom."

Hearing this, the boy's smile suddenly seem to widen as he let out a small cheer. "Yes! I did it! I knew I could find you by myself!"

See? Vert's idealist persona shot out. That proves it! He's a young prince that was looking for me to help him in his quest!

Vert's logical side let out a mental sigh. How does any of this prove that he's a prince? For all we know, he could just be a generic NPC quest-giver.

Even as she said (thought?) this, logical Vert quickly realized that her statement was highly unlikely. For one, the boy was much too detailed to be just another faceless side-character. His distinctive blue eyes and light blond hair already proved that he was much more than a simple silhouette. In fact, his overall looks stuck out as being strangely familiar to her although she could not put her finger on exactly why.

Hey, doesn't he remind you of someone? Vert's logical side asked.

Oh, stop trying to change the subject, the idealistic side replied in a smug tone. You just don't want to admit that he's an important character who's going to serve an integral role in our new adventure. Honestly, just look at the clothes he's wearing if you're still in denial. How can anyone with a unique outfit like that be a standard villager?

As much as she was loathe to, logical Vert had to admit that the boy's clothes were definitely eye-catching. The most notable part of it was obviously the over-sized green coat that he was wearing. It seemed similar enough to IF's usual attire but his version seemed to flare out a bit more near the bottom, making it seem as if he was wearing a cape or cloak. As if to contrast the eccentricity of his flashy coat, a simple white shirt and black pants were worn underneath it. The return to normality ended there however as Vert looked down and saw a pair of strange, mechanized boots lined in green and white that vaguely reminded her of her own processor unit. As the boy moved his arm slightly, Vert also noticed an unusual cylindrical bulge beneath his right sleeve as if the boy was wearing some kind of large bracer on his arm.

Suffice to say, the boy's outfit was clearly beyond that of a normal, everyday NPC.

"So..." the boy eventually said, seemingly ignoring the fact that Vert was ogling him. "What now?"

Before Vert could say anything though, a loud explosion suddenly resounded in close proximity to the CPU's room.

"Wow. That's some serious tenacity she's got," the boy muttered as the shaking finally stopped. "I can't believe she's still chasing after me."

Finally remembering all the explosions she had felt before, Vert faced the boy with a questioning look. "Did all those explosions from earlier have something to do with the person chasing you?"

The boy gave a nod while wearing a strangely amused grin. "Yup. This crazy lady has been trying to kill me since she learned about my identity. Thankfully, she's been rather unsuccessful in her murder attempts other than that lucky shot right before I ended up here. I will give her points for the amount of bloodlust and killer intent she gave off though. She seriously reminded me of those Demon Lords and Blight Witches I've read about."

Inside Vert's head, her idealist persona started doing a merry jig.

He's a prince! There's a Blight Witch! I'm the main character! Woohoo!

Okay, I'm out! the logical persona yelled out as she threw up her arms in exasperation. If you're just going to ignore everything I say, then I'm clearly not needed here! You can deal with your delusional little fantasy on your own!

The sound of a door slamming shut was heard inside Vert's mind as her mental argument finally came to a close.

"I think she's getting closer," the boy said in a casual tone as an explosion sounded off again.

"Don't worry," Vert reassured with a smile. "My automated defenses will probably keep her out. Even if she somehow gets through, I'll be sure to protect you." She summoned her spear as she said this and gave it an impressive twirl.

The boy tilted his head a bit as he stared at Vert with an almost calculating look. A few seconds later though, his smile returned as he gave her an understanding nod.

"Okay. I'll trust you."

His earnest tone along with the bright smile he gave her caused Vert to blush a little as she stood protectively before her new charge.

All too soon, the chain of explosions reached Vert's room. With her focus on the door, Vert managed to hear her turrets firing at the intruder this time. However, the attack apparently did nothing against the mystery villain as a pair of explosions signaled the destruction of the turrets.

A few seconds passed in tense silence before another explosion went off, this time aimed at the steel door. Vert tightened her grip on her spear as she started to feel a growing sense of apprehension as more and more explosion barraged itself against the slowly deteriorating defense. Even without her logical side, Vert knew that she was practically fated to lose against this enemy. Her years of gaming had taught her that the first battle against the main villain always resulted in a forced loss. The best she could hope for was to protect the boy long enough for a deus ex machina portal to appear and rescue them both.

As the door began to give way underneath the relentless assault, Vert looked back and gave the supposed prince a reassuring look. The boy responded with a confident expression as if he trusted her wholeheartedly and gave a short nod. With a renewed sense of determination, Vert turned back towards the door and prepared herself.

With an earth-shattering blast, the steel door was finally blasted off its hinges as the entire entrance way exploded into a raging inferno.

Reacting quickly, Vert used her spear to swat aside the flaming wreckage of the door that flew towards her. Unfortunately, this resulted in the large slab of metal landing directly on her collection of naked butler figures instead and smashing them to bits. If the situation had not been so dire, Vert might have collapsed to her knees and cried out in despair right then and there.

As it was however, she had little time to lament her terrible loss as a sinister aura suddenly pervaded the devastated room. Although the debris cloud and flames made it hard to tell, Vert thought she could see a tall female figure with glowing red eyes standing amidst the chaos and destruction. Knowing that the battle was now at hand, Vert took a deep breath and took one final glance back at the boy.

"No matter what happens, I promise I'll protect you."

Without waiting for a response, Vert focused back on her enemy and bravely charged forward...

…only to immediately freeze as the sinister figure spoke up.

"Where is he?! I can smell his blasphemy coming from here!"

Vert could not help her mouth from opening in surprise as she recognized the voice.

"Chika?!" the CPU shouted out in shock as she lowered her spear.

As she said this, the menacing figure stepped out of the dust cloud to reveal the green-haired figure of Leanbox's Oracle. For some unfathomable reason, Chika was carrying an enormous rocket launcher that would have made even B-Sha jealous. Realizing that this was the weapon responsible for all of the explosions that day, Vert looked at her Oracle with the most befuddled expression a goddess could make.

"What-? Rocket launcher-? Why-?"

Instead of answering, Chika merely looked back at her pseudo-sister with a confused look of her own.

"Vert darling? What are you doing here?"

A few seconds of awkward silence passed before Vert's mind recovered enough to form an answer.

"This is my room," she replied rather mechanically.

Chika suddenly let out a shocked gasp as she looked around the demolished room as if she was just now recognizing it.

"Oh my-! I'm so sorry dear sister!" the Oracle cried out as she suddenly fell to her knees. "I didn't realize this was your room with that steel door in place! Plus, I wasn't thinking properly because I was too focused on killing that lying heathen! Even so, that's no excuse for what I've done! Please forgive me!"

"Lying heathen?" Vert asked, being far too distracted to properly respond to Chika's torrent of apologies. "What are you talking about?"

Biting back her big dramatic sobs, Chika got up to answer the question. "There was this little brat today who dared to say that he was your-" Chika's face suddenly turned demonic again as she spotted the boy who was still standing behind Vert. "YOU! PREPARE TO BE EVISCERATED!"

"Hold it!" Vert shouted out as she put herself between her clearly unhinged Oracle and the surprisingly calm looking boy. "What exactly is going on between you two?"

While the CPU's voice seemed to calm down Chika a bit, it was the boy who actually answered her question.

"Ah... I think it might have something to do with my identity."

"Identity?" Vert repeated as she turned back to look at the boy. "Aren't you a prince from another dimension?"

Chika gave her a deadpan expression while the boy just let out a laugh.

"What?" Vert said with an embarrassed shrug. "It made sense in my mind."

After recovering from his brief laughing fit, the boy turned to face Vert with an amused smile. "Sorry to disappoint you but I'm not actually a prince. Still, I suppose that's not too far off from the truth if you consider the current governing system of Gamindustri."

Vert gave him an extremely puzzled look. "What do you mean?"

The boy just gave a dismissive wave of his hand as he answered.

"I'm the CPU Candidate of Leanbox."

Nothing but the sounds of the crackling flames and collapsing furniture could be heard as the room's occupants descended into a state of absolute silence. Two sets of eyes lay on the CPU as they waited with fearful anticipation and mild curiosity respectively. After what felt like an eternity and a half, Vert finally broke the tense atmosphere with a single, rather anticlimactic, word.

"What?"

While Chika was rather surprised by this mild reaction, the boy seemed to understand that this was merely the precursor to a major mental breakdown. Realizing that he had a few sparse seconds to complete his introduction before things quickly descended into absolute chaos, he gave a polite little bow towards the two frozen women and continued speaking.

"My name is Sync. As I alluded to earlier, I was formed from Leanbox's Sharicite and thus the CPU Candidate of this nation. Despite our little misunderstanding earlier, I'm pleased to meet you both. I do hope we can avoid any further assassination attempts in the future and get along."

Neither Vert nor Chika seemed to know how to respond to this rather sincere sounding introduction as they simply looked on speechlessly. Sync however seemed to recall something rather amusing as he lifted his head with a smile.

"Ah, that's right. I suppose I don't really have to worry even if someone does try to kill me again." With a mischievous grin that would have made the Cheshire Cat proud, he turned to face the dumbstruck goddess. "After all, you did promise to protect me no matter what happened... sis."

The sound of Vert's sanity snapping could be heard all way from Lowee.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!"