This occurs after the snap. I haven't seen Endgame but I wrote this to cope and never published. I didn't expect to so I apologize if it's rough. I wanted to explore how Alex would literally cope herself.

I am editing the original chapters and those will either be edited or a whole new story post. Thanks for reading!

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Hit the bag.

Don't stop.

Run til you can't breathe.

Don't stop.

Remembering hurts. Train more.

Don't stop.

She'd lost track of the days by this point. It was all a blur of activity to stay busy.

Aleksandra simply forced herself to train, hoping for a chance to fight back and earn some sort of revenge. In the meantime, she needed the burn of muscles she hadn't pushed since she was the star science project of Hydra. Otherwise, she worried she wouldn't feel anything at all.

Their grief, both hers and her companions, had them all looking and feeling utterly wraithlike. Looking up from her morning coffee at the compound, she knew she wasn't alone.

Unfortunately, none of them had the spoons to help one another through grief. The most any of them did was spare roughly and maybe have a drink together quietly before bed. Their more technologically inclined companions hit the lab, building and toiling away at numbers. Energy drink cans and junk wrappers littered the desks and she knew it wasn't her scene. She needed to hit things along with the other tanks of the group.

Sometimes she was a live target for Tasha. Bucky would have tied her up and tossed her in a closet for even considering it, but he wasn't here and the sharp sting of a bullet felt better than the suffocating silence of her bedroom at night. So she dodged, ducked, dipped, dived and dodged until she got hit. She would curse, laugh and say "Again." In Russian to antagonize her friend. Since Aleks healed easily if hit with a bullet it was good enough practice for them both. They did, though, have an unspoken agreement not to tell Rogers about their training sessions.

Even if they had a laugh here or there, none of them were actually okay. Gallows humor mostly. Watching your fellow human disappear into ash before your very eyes didn't just let you move on.

Life literally stood still that day for Aleks when Bucky was taken. She refused to believe he was gone and she snarled against anyone else who said otherwise. It's why she stayed mostly on her own- she didn't want to hear any speculation and theories.

For one solid moment after the battle at Wakanda, Aleks felt like they might be golden. War won, butts' slapped...all good things on the horizon. She'd seen Thor's axe go into the devil's chest and looked for Bucky to tell him. He'd given her a small yet triumphant smirk and she'd grinned back with a wink and a wiggle of her hip for good measure. When his gaze got dark in that way she loved so much, Aleks dashed away before she had the idea to jump him. He looked good in his element, the controlled violence and pure confidence- he was a tree she wanted to climb.

They'd talked about a baby just before the fight- since her Valkyrie sister's daughter they'd babysat together had been such a random and wonderful experience...they wanted one of their own once the world was safe.

How blissfully ignorant they'd been.

Not minutes later they were stepping toward Cap after all went to shit when Bucky slapped a hand to his chest and whispered quietly that he felt strange. He'd looked up and said Steve's name before looking back at Aleks with the most loaded expression...his hand reached out for her and then-

Gone.

She'd never forget the feel of his soft ashes floating gently through her finger tips, fluttering against her lips and eyelashes. She didn't know if her throat would never feel normal again after her raw scream of anguish released once she'd processed what had just occurred.

Speaking of her atomic Valkyrie screech…

She heard from Thor that Loki was dead. Actually dead this time. Aleks felt the need to contact her sisters-by-nature, namely Siggy- the mother of the baby she watched for a month or so with Bucky. She got a text back that Siggy had been told by Thor. She'd apparently also lost both Dany, one of the other Valkyrie, and her foster mother to the Snap. Without Dany's power to create portals they were essentially stranded in Siggy's home town in Alaska unless Thor could check on them. Baby Hela was still with them, thankfully, and to that Aleks breathed in a sigh of utter relief.

"Aleksa."

She looked up sharply and spotted Steve watching her carefully.

"You doing okay?" He said softly.

She laughed with a hollow sound. "Steve." Her mug touched the marble counter quietly. "I'm fine. You?"

He simply sighed and look down at the old compass he always carried. "I'm alright."

She watched him fidget and noticed they were the only ones in the kitchen. He was waiting to talk with her and she smirked. "I feel like I have a lecture coming."

He blinked at her with surprise and when she lifted a questioning brow he sighed loudly. "Well," he began, "I caught some of a security vid. You and Nat are...training together?"

Feeling particularly prickly that day, Aleks decided not to act demure about it. Instead, she frowned and sidestepped his gentle approach. "Tasha shoots at me. We're sparing. She uses her gun and I try to disable her with my voice or claws or anything at all I can think of." She spat quickly. "She's angry. And so am I."

Steve visibility cringed. "You were shot, Al."

Aleks shrugged and poured more coffee. "And yet here I am, aren't I?" Unstated was that others were not here thanks to the grand bitch Thanos himself…

Almost instantly she flinched at her own tone. Giving shit to Steve Rogers- AKA the sweetest and most ethical man alive- with salty retorts because she was feeling a bit pissy that day just wasn't her.

Steve took it graciously though. Aleks frowned at that and thought sardonically about her new motto, Hit the bag. Apparently that meant friends who were willing to take her hits too.

"Steve." She said and reached far for his arm-pulling until he met her eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm complete shit for saying that...you were there. You saw." She shook her head. "Fuck...How are you? Really?"

Steve smiled softly, genuinely. He looked so much like an older brother in that moment. "I'm fine, Al. Just checking on my people."

She bit her lip. "Need help with that?"

Steve frowned and looked up, checking her interest. "Maybe with Rocket? He just...does what you do, but more guarded. And more cursing."

She sighed exaggeratedly. "Competing for my spot for most unconventional unofficial Avenger, I see. The scandal." Aleks drew a genuine laugh from Steve and she felt a flutter of her old self for just a moment before becoming serious once more.

"Rocket needs out of here." She continued a moment later. "This place isn't his element...and he's all alone. None of us knew him besides Thor, before all this shit happened."

"You may be right. Thor isn't here is he?"

She shook her head.

"Damn." She gasped lightly at his small curse and he rolled his eyes. "Alright, Aleksa. You have a job."

She stood straight and saluted terribly. "Yes, Cap?"

"Try to cheer up Rocket?"

"Can we blow shit up?"

Steve frowned, but she could tell a grin was threatening his cheeks. "Just...don't destroy compound property okay?"

"Aye aye!" She said and he laughed.

"Sweet rabbit?" She called as she stepped into an old glorified shack, mimicking Thor's name for the wicked raccoon when saw a huge gun aimed her way.

"You don't get to say that, Red."

She frowned as she saw the barrel pointed at her chest. "You need to work on your nicknames, Meeko. Red is too cliche."

Rocket lowered his gun a smidge. Her name for him sounded somewhat dignified but he was never sure if nicknames were honorifics or more like Trash Panda. And just like that he was frowning again.

"What do you want?" He groused.

She crossed her arms and thought a moment before relying, "Wanna blow some shit up?"

Rocket reacted, offering just a smidge of a canine. He almost smiled and she felt victorious when he sighed and threw that huge gun over his shoulder.

"Any targets in mind?"

She simply grinned widely and before she knew it they were maniacally destroying government property. It was cathartic and later at dinner when Cap scolded them in front of the others it was with shrugged shoulders and small smirks on the faces of the other survivors.

For a moment, just one short moment, they were all okay.