ELEVEN

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The inside of the pub was loud, warm, and chock-full of Judoon. Everyone had a smile, a pint, and an opinion on the goings-on of recent events.

The door opened and in strode Mr Brown Suit, hauling something along behind. "Evening!" he cried, with a degree of ebullience normally only found in young children at six o'clock on Christmas morning. "Look who I found!" He reached behind himself and pulled on an arm; the Master appeared. Mr Brown Suit chucked his arm round his shoulder and squeezed. "This here is Martin - you remember him. Margaret's trainee barman."

The entire pub stared. The deafening silence that accompanied their gazes of vexed disbelief was shattered only by the sound of the pub door closing behind two more Doctors.

"What?" Jack cried in dismay from over a shot at the counter. The Rani, standing next to him, simply folded her arms in absolute and damning criticism of the whole evening. Jack's face darkened. "After everything he's done? You have got to be kidding me!"

"Not at all," Mr Brown Suit said, as if surprised. "Margaret - can you put Martin to good use, do you think? He's ever so willing to please."

"Is that so," Jack snapped. He pushed his way through Judoon holding pint glasses - half of them already empty.

"Ah ah ah," Mr Brown Suit warned.

All movement in the pub halted. It was harder to say which was more uncomfortable - the Doctor's stare or the pub's sudden wish it were somewhere else.

Jack's face was thunderous. But as the seconds slipped by, it was obvious the storm was already blowing over in his head. "Fine," he said resentfully. "Just… nowhere near me."

Mr Brown Suit's face abruptly flipped in daffy cheerfulness. "Martin's much too busy to get in your way. Aren't you, Martin?" he said, patting the Master's shoulder.

"Uhm - yes. I think. Margaret?" he asked, lost.

"Over here, pet," she said with a wide, shit-eating grin. "I need you to do a few chores for me."

He nodded to Mr Brown Suit before making his way between rather large and in some cases, rather affronted Judoon. He made it to Margaret safe and sound, however, and she took him behind the bar where they could talk.

Jack stalked over to the three Doctors. "What the hell?" he demanded.

"Now now," Mr Bow-tie said. "Where's the Rani?"

"Mavis is helping me keep an eye on her," Jack said. "And you still haven't explained who she is."

"You mean you've been stood next to her all this time and you haven't got her to tell you everything?" Mr Black Jacket grinned. "Jack, you're losing your touch."

Jack pulled a face at him but Mr Bow-tie waved a hand to get his attention. "Look, Jack, it's like this," he said. "The Mast—. Martin has been through a temporal phased displacement field. He's not himself."

"The Rani seemed fine enough - how do you know he's not faking?" Jack demanded.

"She didn't get the fine-tuning of someone's screwdriver as it dissipated the field," Mr Brown Suit, raising an eyebrow at Mr Bow-tie. "Did she?"

"Of course not," he said in innocence. "Anyway to cut a Brief History of Time down to a few words - I helped his memory eject a few building blocks. He can't remember his name, what he was doing - and he'll forget he's the type to try to take over the world for a bit, too."

"But it will wear off," Mr Black Jacket said. "So you, Jack, are in charge of alerting one of us when it does."

"Preferably me," Mr Bow-tie said. "I'm much further along his time-line than anyone else. I'm ahead of him."

Jack looked round at all three of them. "And you're sure about this?"

"Absolutely," Mr Brown Suit said. He clapped a hand down on his shoulder. "We trust you, Jack."

Jack's mouth worked for a second. Then he just threw his hands in the air and turned away, back toward the bar.

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Margaret wiped her hands on a bar towel, laughing as she watched two Judoon pick up their shots. Wobbly, a bit red in the face and definitely past their prime, the two ex-soldiers nonetheless raced the drinks down. The shorter one slammed her glass to the bar top first. The second burped, high-fived her, and promptly fell over backwards.

The pub roared in approval and patrons clapped and whistled.

Jack bent over and began to help him to his feet. They just about made it before the Judoon overbalanced. Two more hands appeared and the three people swayed but remained upright.

Jack found Mr Bow-tie straightening his jacket from the exertion. "You must be stronger than you look," Jack grinned. "I thought you were going to go right over."

"Ah now," he said, wagging a finger at him. "Time Lords are like Weebles."

"Weebles?"

"Everyone knows that Weebles wobble but they don't fall down."

Jack threw his head back and laughed out loud.

Mr Black Jacket appeared with a pint in his hand. "I think half the platoon have passed out," he said, nodding to the snooker table at the side of the room. Jack and Mr Bow-tie turned to see three Judoon spreadeagled next to each other, on their backs. The snooker table seemed less than impressed by this, but then realised it was the most use anyone had made of it in a while, and simply put up with it.

Two more Judoon were sitting on the floor, their backs bracing each other up. A couple more were sleeping on their sides, and one more was actually under the snooker table, emitting the kind of snore that would have caused an elephant to cover its ears. Legs, arms, and discarded uniform armour were strewn around to the sound of laughter and the occasional singing.

"Where's Martin?" Mr Black Jacked asked, peering around the room.

"Margaret's got him emptying the bins," Jack grinned. "Then it's his turn to clean the toilets."

"Nice," Mr Bow-tie grinned.

"I thought so," Jack said. "Where's the other you?"

The two Doctors shrugged. "He's probably around," Mr Bow-tie said.

Jack noticed the door slightly open and left them both to wander toward it, avoiding raucously laughing aliens. He pushed it more open to slide outside.

He found the familiar form of Mr Brown Suit with his hands in his pockets, staring out across the car park, toward the far hills and trees. Ambling up next to him, his let his own hands go into his pockets and he waited. And waited.

"Is it a good party?" Mr Brown Suit asked quietly.

"Oh yes. I don't think anyone will forget this night in a hurry."

"Good." He sniffed, as if mulling something over. It stayed almost eerily quiet, considering a loud shindig was going on behind a set of doors ten feet behind them.

"What are you thinking about?" Jack asked.

"Oh… this and that."

"What 'this'? What 'that'?"

The Doctor glanced at him from the corner of his eye. "Wondering what to do with the Rani. Once upon a time, I used to leave her to other Time Lords. Now they're all gone. It's just me."

"And you, and you," Jack smiled. "Why not palm her off on another you?"

"Not really my thing." He looked at his battered, once-white Converse.

"Except it is - that's the beauty of it," Jack said. "Think about it. You're not giving it to someone else to deal with. You're still sorting it out yourself. Well you, not yourself."

He smiled, shaking his head as he looked up at the stars. "You never cease to amaze me, Jack."

"I think that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."

Mr Brown Suit grinned.

It was quiet for a long time.

Finally he sucked in a huge breath, letting it all out with end-of-party regret. "So. Let's get her squared away and we can all move on."

"Ye-ah… we may have like a dozen comatose and hungover Judoon to shift."

"It's going to be a long night."

"Is it ever," Jack grinned. He patted Mr Brown Suit on the back, then turned and disappeared back inside.

The Doctor took one last, lingering look up. Then he turned for the door and went inside.

Jack and Mr Bow-tie were pinning small, round devices made of some kind of shiny black material to each Judoon. Then Jack stood back, waved people clear, and activated something on his wrist. The Judoon simply vanished, leaving the others to blearily object to what they perceived as kidnapping. The two men went around the upset ex-security guards for hire, assuring them it was their taxi home. More and more Judoon were sent back to their ship, until at last only Mavis was propping up the bar.

Mr Bow-tie crossed to her. "Well, mate. Looks like it's just you," he said with a smile.

She put a hand up. "Do-so-mo-bo-yo-go-jo," she said.

"With Jack? Since when?" he asked.

"Ho-ko-mo-to-go-wo-ho," she said. And then belched.

Mr Bow-tie waved the resulting noxious cloud from between them. "Well don't say I didn't warn you about him. Make sure he doesn't leave you stranded anywhen. If you get into trouble, you find one of me."

She hefted his hand down on his shoulder, nearly sending him to the floor. "Yo-no-to-yo-ko-bo-mo," she grinned.

"Of course I do. We all do." He pulled his jacket straight.

"Margaret? How's the clean-up going?" Mr Black Jacket called over the pub.

She popped up from behind the bar. "Well so far, Martin's done all the bins, cleaned out the toilets, ungunked the dishwasher and cleaned up the mould from the windows at the back of the storeroom," she said, well pleased. "He's a good worker."

Mr Black Jacket chuckled. "Good. I hope you have a few more jobs for him."

"Oh yes," she said. "I can think of at least five more detestable chores for him before we open again tomorrow."

"Excellent," Mr Black Jacket said. He looked around. "So now all we have to do is figure out what to do with the Rani."

"True," Mr Bow-tie said. He turned. And turned again. "Uh… where is the Rani?"

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The Rani pushed her way through the wooden door, shifting tools and stepping over loose wires. She cracked her knuckles, then bent to the controls in front of her. "Now then," she said, an evil smile lighting up her face. "Let's get as far away from here as possible, shall we?" She flipped switches and moved levers. The lights of the TARDIS pulsed and changed from green to orange. "Come, come," she said, smoothing her hand down the metal of the Time Rotor. "He won't mind. Wouldn't you rather steal away with me than serve that idiot?"

The lights began to segue back into green. She laughed, adjusted a few settings, and slapped at a large round button.

The Time Rotor began to plunge and rise with happy abandon.

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Jack came down the stairs inside the pub. "Nope - just a few more Judoon up there. Martin helped me send them back to their ship."

The three Doctors - and Margaret - looked up from their hunting positions around the pub.

"Well that's just fantastic," Mr Black Jacket tutted. "She's escaped."

"How far can she get out in Bumblefudge Nowhere with no ship?" Margaret asked.

Mr Brown Suit snapped his fingers and dashed for the front door.

Everyone else bundled out after him. They collected in the car park, the weak rays of a new sunrise trying to eek out over the green horizon.

"Wow - morning already," Jack said. "I'm a bit jet-lagged - felt earlier than that."

"Count the TARDISes!" Mr Brown Suit urged.

They spread out, then ran around the other side of the pub building.

Mr Black Jacket screeched to a halt. "Wait - there's three of her here."

"This one's mine," Mr Bow-tie said, going up to the middle TARDIS, her door displaying a St John's Ambulance sticker.

"And that's mine, and that's his," Mr Black Jacket said as he indicated the other two timeships. "So how did she get out of here? What did she do, call a taxi?"

"There were no cars here all night - and she doesn't have a phone," Jack said.

"I've got a childlock on the landline behind the bar," Margaret shrugged.

Mr Brown Suit turned in a circle, surveying everything very carefully. "She could've got past that easily," he said. "Wait - something's different." He turned again, squinting as if to focus everything in sight at once.

"Looks the same to me," Margaret said.

"No… he's right," Mr Black Jacket said. "Something's… missing."

"Well I don't know what it is," Jack shrugged.

The Master poked his head out of the doors to the pub. He wandered up behind Margaret. "Hi. Uh… what time does my shift finish, please?" he asked amiably.

Margaret turned to him. "Oh, Martin, pet. Take a rest. You've been working hard all night."

"I think I enjoyed it," he smiled. "It's nice to… do something. With my hands."

"Wonderful - great - molto bene," Mr Brown Suit snapped. "Be quiet and let us figure out what's missing from this picture."

The Master looked around innocently. "The shed."

"What?" Mr Bow-tie asked. "What shed?"

"There was a shed by the wall," the Master said. He lifted his arm and pointed. "How does someone steal a shed?"

All three Doctors exchanged a glance that was all about raging self-kickery. And then, as if rehearsed, they raised a single hand each and slapped them straight into their faces.

Jack stared at the now uncovered wall. "What? So there was a shed. What about it?"

"It wasn't a shed," Mr Black Jacket groaned.

"It belonged to—. Her partner in crime," said Mr Brown Suit.

Jack just shrugged, clueless.

"It was a TARDIS," said Mr Bow-tie deliberately. "And she stole it out from under the M—. Him. I don't suppose he'll be very happy about that, when he finally comes-to."

"I can't say I'm unhappy about him being unhappy," Jack said with a smile, folding his arms.

"Do we go after her?" Mr Black Jacket said. "You know we can't leave her with a TARDIS."

"What choice do we have? She could be anywhere by now," Mr Bow-tie said. "Let's face it, lads - she's gone and it'll be bad luck if we ever see her again."

"You may be right," Mr Brown Suit said. He folded his arms. "Now… what about Martin?"

"What about me?" the Master asked. "Was this a test? A second interview?" He closed on Margaret. "Did I pass? Can I stay?"

She looked at Mr Brown Suit, but the Master looked around her at the three Doctors.

"Please can I stay?" he asked. "I like it here - I like helping people. It feels comfortable, and I'm not sure but I think that's a new feeling for me. For some reason… I like the idea of… not moving. Of staying in one place. And…" He caught Margaret's eyes, then looked at his feet. "And I think… I think Margaret's being kind to me. Something tells me maybe I don't deserve it."

Jack let his head fall back on his neck, his eyes rolling up at the stars in a complete body scoff.

But the three Doctors shared a long look. Mr Bow-tie nodded once. Mr Brown Suit paused, but then eventually nodded.

Mr Black Jacket turned to the Master. "Do you promise to do everything Margaret tells you to?"

"Oh yes," the Master said eagerly.

"And behave as she tells you to?"

"Yes."

"And not try to take over the planet? Any planet?"

"What?" he spluttered. "Of course I wouldn't do that."

Mr Black Jacket shrugged. "As it is… he seems ok."

"And when that changes?" Jack asked.

Mr Brown Suit levelled a serious gaze at him. "You come here and you collect Martin. And then you sit on him until you can get one of us here."

"Understood," Jack said.

Margaret pulled her cardigan more tightly round herself. "Well. It's getting downright parky out here. Who's for a hot cup of tea and a fry-up?"

Jack rubbed his hands together happily. "Lead on!"

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The three TARDISes watched as six people approached their doors. The three familiar men paused, the other three people watching from a polite distance.

"Well, it's certainly been entertaining," Mr Black Jacket said. "Wait till I not tell Rose about this little adventure."

"Quite right," Mr Brown Suit smiled. "Well, Jack, Margaret, Martin… I'll see you all again, I hope."

"We can but hope," Margaret said.

"Have a safe trip," the Master said cheerfully.

Mr Brown Suit turned to the other Doctors. "And the same to you two. Look after us."

"Always," Mr Black Jacket said. "Margaret - you're a star. Martin - stay out of trouble. Jack - you know what to do."

"Yes sir," Jack said. "It won't be so bad, staying in Yorkshire for a bit. Beats Cardiff."

"That reminds me - has Mavis left yet?" Margaret asked.

"Oh she's not leaving," Jack grinned. "She's going to help me look after Martin."

"I like Mavis," the Master said. "But she's a terrible cheat. She says she's not good at snooker - but she is."

"And on that note, I'll see you all… when I see you," Mr Black Jacket said. He looked at Mr Brown Suit with a serious nod. Then he turned to Mr Bow-tie. "And you two… I'll be you when I be you."

They gave a little wave each, and Mr Black Jacket stepped in through the TARDIS door. It closed unceremoniously, and Mr Bow-tie put his hands in his pockets. "Me next, I guess. Bye everyone - stay good."

Mr Brown Suit waved, Jack nodded, and Margaret and the Master smiled. Mr Bow-tie disappeared into his TARDIS and the familiar blue door shut soundly.

"That leaves me," Mr Brown Suit said. He looked at Jack, but he already had his mouth open.

"Wait," he said quickly. "I know we can't do spoilers, but… Thanks, Doctor. For what you will do."

"Ok," Mr Brown Suit said, his eyes narrowed. "Thank you. I think."

Jack strode up to him and put his arms out wide. Mr Brown Suit grabbed him in a bear hug and they squeezed, making growling noises and patting each other's backs. They parted and the Doctor waved to Margaret and the Master.

"Look after each other," he said. They waved.

He took a last look around. And then he stepped in through the door, closing it with a very quiet click.

Jack stood back, next to the Master, as the three TARDISes began to whirr and whomp. The noise got louder, the lamps on the top flashed, and slowly, steadily, they pulsed out of sight.

"Wow," the Master breathed. "That was amazing."

"Yes it was," Jack sighed. He plunged his hands in his pockets. Then he looked at Margaret. "Coffee?"

"Coffee," she said, gesturing back to the pub with her head. "And then you can teach Martin how to fix the microwave."

"Yes ma'am," he said. She walked back toward the door behind them.

The Master put a hand up, making him pause. "Can you… Well."

"What is it?" Jack asked.

"I get the feeling that something I've done… upset you very much. I'm sorry. I don't know what I did, but I'm sorry."

Jack sighed. "Oh, Martin," he said, wandering closer. "You did, and it did. But… right now, I'm finding it very hard to keep disliking you."

"Why?"

"This you… is better. Much better. And I hope it lasts forever."

The Master stared at his feet. "I like this me too. And I hope it lasts forever." His eyes swept up and found Jack's. "Can it?"

"Well we can certainly try," he said.

"But… you didn't like me, and now you're going to help me. I'm really grateful of course, but… why? Why help me?"

"Oh… once upon a time, that man in the black jacket did the same for me. And so did the one in the brown suit."

"Who are they?" the Master asked. "How do they run everything?"

"With kindness, and forgiveness, and the wisdom that comes with being so old," he said, putting a hand up. He clapped it round the Master's shoulder and turned them, walking them back to the pub. "If you ever become half the man he is, you'll have succeeded."

"Which one?" the Master asked, basking in the warmth of Jack's apparent good mood.

"The Doctor."

"Doctor who?"

Jack laughed, squeezing his shoulder as they walked. "Never gets old," he grinned.

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FIN

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Thanks for reaching the end! I had about two chapters of this done right after the original airing of the 50th anniversary, but life got in the way and it was three years or more before I picked it up again. Thanks for reading, thanks for sticking with it, and thanks for your traffic and reviews. All very much appreciated!