A/N: I've written a Mortal Instruments story before, of course, but here's my first Shadowhunters story. It's strange because I tend not to write fanfiction for things until they're finished. With TV shows in particular, I'm too worried about writing something that will only be contradicted by the show before I can even post it. In this case though, I felt like I needed to write something for Shadowhunters, and this is an idea that came to me while listening to "Wolves" by One Direction. Since it's set in the past, hopefully I won't look back on it in the future and cringe because it's far too contradictory with whatever the show does.

"It's bringing my demons out
More than ever now."

— "Wolves" by One Direction

Lucian had known Valentine for so long that he didn't often reflect on the beginnings of their friendship. It felt like Valentine had always been there. He was such a crucial part of Lucian's life that it was hard to believe Lucian's life could have existed without him.

When Valentine asked to be his parabatai, Lucian was unsurprised. Such a thing had been inevitable. No two people were closer than they were, and neither expected that to change.

It didn't. Not for a long time.

Valentine had always been charismatic, drawing people to him and keeping them there. It was hard to remove yourself from Valentine's circle once you were there. He was too intoxicating. Yet, despite the friends they gathered, Lucian continued to hold a special place at Valentine's side. It was how they worked. Valentine led the group, but Lucian was at his side always. There was never any inkling of change in that regard.

Jocelyn was the same as the others in the beginning. Valentine drew her into their circle, but Lucian had held no reason to suspect more would develop between her and his parabatai until it did. He'd known something was different about Jocelyn when Valentine began speaking of her with a special smile on his face, a smile Lucian had never seen before.

He was happy for his friend. It was as if Valentine's happiness traveled through their parabatai bond to Lucian himself, and Lucian wanted nothing more than for Valentine and Jocelyn to be happy together.

It helped, of course, that Jocelyn herself was so hard to dislike. She was a warm-hearted girl who was incredibly kind to Lucian from the beginning.

For a while, all three of them were so happy that Lucian would have described their lives as perfect, but it became increasingly clear that Valentine didn't view them that way. While Lucian was content with what they had, from their friendships to their duty to protect the world from demons, Valentine became increasingly vocal about how messed up the world had become.

Lucian had stood behind him at first, just like he always had. Many of the things Valentine said made sense, and after years of listening to him, it had become hard to find it in himself to disagree. Lucian and the rest of the Circle rallied behind Valentine's ideas, seeing them as the truth, but as they escalated, it became harder and harder, even for Lucian, to not see the irrationality that lied behind Valentine's beliefs.

It was the first time in memory that Lucian had felt troubled by something he couldn't share with his parabatai, and he'd worried that keeping his fear bottled up inside of him would lead to an explosion. That was, until he'd found Jocelyn sobbing one day.

She'd reacted with fear when she realized she had been found, but Lucian was eager to assure her that he wasn't a threat, that he wouldn't reveal anything to Valentine if she wanted to confide in him. No doubt feeling the same way he had, Jocelyn opened up to him completely for the first time, sharing some of Valentine's troubling behavior that not even Lucian had been aware of before.

After that, it was inevitable that they'd begin to fall for each other. They were the only confidantes that the other had. They both loved a man who was steadily becoming unlovable.

For Lucian, his love for Valentine was severed the day of his attempted murder. Never before had Valentine betrayed their parabatai bond, never before had he acted like Lucian was disposable. More than that, his response once Lucian was a werewolf, the way he acted like his brother was filth, made it impossible for Lucian to feel anything resembling warmth for the man he had once loved more than anyone else.

When Valentine crossed that final uncrossable line, it was Lucian and Jocelyn who felt the responsibility to stop him.

There had been whispers between them for weeks as they both anticipated what would come next. There had been hesitant plans of what to do if this or that happened. None of it was what came to fruition. There were too many variables for them to have planned it all so perfectly.

So, when Jocelyn had disappeared with the Cup and Valentine was gone, Lucian had only had a vague idea of where he should begin searching for her: New York City.

Both Lucian and Jocelyn had spent the bulk of their lives in Idris, but there had been frequent trips to Institutes around the world. Lucian remembered Jocelyn mentioning her love for New York from when she visited as child, and the city had come up in their hushed conversations. More than eight million people provided quite a lot of cover when you wanted to hide.

It also made it difficult for friends to find you. Lucian discovered that for himself when he arrived. Not even his werewolf traits enabled him to find Jocelyn immediately. First, he found a small apartment, somewhere he could live while he settled into what he already knew was going to become his home.

During the day, he job searched. Knowing that Lucian was an odd name for a mundane, he began putting "Luke" on job applications, not yet knowing how the name would stick.

At night, he tracked Jocelyn, taking advantage of the cover of the darkness to use the full extent of his abilities. He steered clear of any werewolf packs around the city, not desiring such connections. They would be nothing but a burden and possibly a security risk once he found Jocelyn and the Cup. Luke wouldn't risk being the one to put the Cup in danger again, and he didn't yet know what kind of people the New York pack consisted of.

It took days before Luke first caught Jocelyn's scent and knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was on the right track. Transforming back into his human form, Luke realized that the bottom floor's shop gave off the familiar trace of magic, though it was supposedly little more than an antique store. Luke inspected it closely, taking in the protection runes around the building that had been drawn with Jocelyn's stele. There was something else, a hint of magic that came from a warlock. Luke couldn't believe that Jocelyn had already managed to pull another downworlder into their secret before he could find her, but he knew that Jocelyn's judgment was sound.

The moments between him knocking and Jocelyn opening the door were some of the longest of Luke's life. The relief that washed over him when he saw her in the doorway was crippling. If Jocelyn hadn't rushed forward at the sight of him and wrapped her arms around him, Luke would have collapsed to the floor, unable to believe that his search had been successful.

It took several minutes for the relief to subside enough for Luke to take notice of the large stomach separating him from Jocelyn. He pulled away far enough to inspect her.

"The baby's grown," Luke commented, unable to keep a smile off of his face.

"It has been a few months. That tends to be what happens."

Luke rolled his eyes but didn't make a comeback as Jocelyn ushered him into the apartment. He took in the surroundings, approving of the place. Jocelyn had made good decisions, even if her move had been completed in haste and secrecy.

Finding the apartment satisfactory, Luke turned to take in Jocelyn once more. She rushed around the kitchen, fixing them both tea without needing to ask Luke how he took it. There was a glow about her that was reminiscent of when she'd been pregnant with Jonathan. Back when they were all happy and had thought they would stay that way.

It was clear as day how good escaping Valentine had been for her.

"Here you go, Lucian," Jocelyn said, setting a mug of tea in front of him on the kitchen table.

"Actually, I'm going by Luke now," he admitted before taking a sip. "Helps me fit in with the mundanes."

Jocelyn's lip quirked upwards in amusement. "Who would have thought that either of us would be doing such things, huh? But here we are, acting as mundane as they come."

"Well, I don't know about that. This building is covered in runes."

Jocelyn shrugged. "Aside from those. I do find that living as a mundane isn't nearly as terrible as I had imagined. It's a lot less stressful than being a Shadowhunter."

"I'm not sure if that's living as a mundane so much as it is everything else," Luke pointed out, though he didn't say what they both knew he meant: that getting away from Valentine was what was less stressful.

Jocelyn knew it too though, and for the first time since Luke had opened the door, she frowned. Luke wished he hadn't said anything. It wasn't worth seeing that expression on her face or the way her brow furrowed in a frown.

"I'm worried, Lucian."

The tone of her voice prevented Luke from correcting her use of his old name. Instead, he scooted his chair around the table until it was beside hers, and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders in comfort.

"I've done everything I can to protect the Cup," Jocelyn said. "And I don't doubt that it's well protected. That we're well protected." She rubbed at her stomach. "After what happened to Jonathan though… I'm so worried about this baby, about what will happen to her if Valentine finds us."

"He won't," Luke replied, his voice sounding strong and sure. "I saw those runes out there, Jocelyn, and I know that's only the tip of the iceberg. Now that I'm here, this child will only be more protected."

Jocelyn looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Lucian, I can't ask you-"

"You're not asking," he said gently. "I know you're not, but Jocelyn, there's no way I would not protect this child."

"She's Valentine's."

"She's more yours than Valentine's. You running away made sure of that, and whether or not she's Valentine's means nothing to me. She's a child, a child who deserves to never have to worry about her father hurting her. Jocelyn, I want to help protect her. Maybe even help raise her. If you'll let me."

"Luke," Jocelyn replied, tears choking her up before she could say more. She pulled him into an embrace, burying her face in the crook of his neck. "Thank you," she whispered.

"I guess that's a yes then?" Luke tried to make it a joke, but there was so much emotion between them that it didn't work.

Jocelyn pulled away, smiling at him as tears shone in her eyes.

"Luke, I would be proud to have you in my daughter's life."

Those words meant more to him than he had realized they would, and he felt tears sting his own eyes as he reached down for the first time to place a hesitant hand on Jocelyn's stomach. Just as Jocelyn's hand covered his own, Luke felt the baby kick, and he couldn't suppress a joyful laugh.

His eyes caught Jocelyn's, and he immediately fell silent at the intensity he found in them. Once she'd been caught, she smiled though, and it was clear that it was genuine.

For the first time in ages, life held more joy than worry.