Chief Bogo considered himself to be a rational mammal. He saw the need for rules and approved of them in most cases. They separated the animals from the animals, after all. Or something like that. I'm a narrator, not a poet. Currently the rules were proving to be quite taxing for him, however. One rule in particular, to be exact.
This rule was one that the Chief had always had a slight disdain for, but he saw the necessity of it. In most cases it was just a simple annoyance that caused a minor loss of time in his day. As of late though, it had started to overtake more of his work schedule than he would have liked.
The rule was as follows: All case reports submitted by an officer must be approved and signed off on by the precinct chief.
He saw the logic in the rule. It was meant to increase accountability among the officers under him. They would be more likely to follow procedure and less likely to do something…unbecoming of an officer.
Now, it would be unrealistic for the Chief to read every single case report filed by an officer, of course. There were far too many officers under him for that to be feasible. So, he sent all reports through the records department. They would read each report and send those which followed procedure to Bogo at the end of the week.
This made the Chief's job much easier. In most cases he could just sign off on reports at the end of the week, safe in the knowledge that the records department was efficient and thorough. Any cases that may have had a slight deviation from procedure, or some other matter that may require Chief Bogo's personal attention were brought to him directly so that he may evaluate the situation himself.
This arrangement had worked for several years. On a weekly basis Bogo rarely had to read more than a few reports, and the majority of the time he condoned the officer's actions and signed off anyways. It was rare he had to dole out any punishment, as most officers at Precinct 1 understood their job and what was expected of them.
Fortunately, the Chief did not mind having to read those few reports, as he liked to maintain a tight ship. Unfortunately, the Chief had recently moved from having to read 2-3 reports a week to upwards of 20.
Coincidentally, the astronomic increase in the number of case files Bogo was forced to read correlated with the arrival of his two newest officers in the precinct: Judy Hopps, and Nick Wilde.
These two officers were an effective team to be sure, and they saw quite the results in their cases. They closed most of their cases, and outdid even some of the veteran officers in Precinct 1. Chief Bogo had a respect for them as officers, and he looked out for their well being as he tried to do with everyone in Precinct 1. He had even considered putting them up for promotions to detectives, disregarding their relatively short time on the force.
That respect, however, did not prevent him from being utterly annoyed at the duo and their shenanigans. Their antics had, in the past year alone, caused him more paperwork than he had done in the previous five. Chief Bogo had probably called them up more to his office to scold them than any other officers on the force. Some of his officers had been there for more than a decade.
Right now, however, the Chief was not irritated at them for some immense scandal such as when they had arrested the police commissioner's brother on charges of arson. Nor was he irritated at Wilde for causing him yet another migraine with his incessant 'wit.' He was annoyed at the four case reports sitting on his desk. It was 6pm on a Monday and there were already four reports.
Four.
They have been on the job this week for a literal eight hours. How can there be four reports on my desk already! Bogo exasperatedly thought.
He sighed as he reached for his reading glasses sitting on his desk. The Chief pulled a report from the stack and placed it in front of him as his other hoof set his glasses on his face. As he flipped the report open he sighed once again. His nose wrinkled and his eyes darted across the page as he read the report to himself.
…
From the desk of Officer Judy Hopps, October 8th, Arrest of Suspect Harry Harrington
Officer Wilde and myself were patrolling our assigned sector. It was then that we received a report of a jewelry store robbery from dispatch and moved in to respond to call. Officer Wilde commented that he had been eager to get me a gift in order to 'woo' me, and a jewelry store would be sufficient for what he had in mind. Officer Wilde proceeded to comment that I looked sufficiently embarrassed at his remark, and that when embarrassed I was quite "Cute."
…
Chief Bogo rubbed his temples, starting to feel the beginnings of a migraine setting in. He immensely regretted telling Officer Hopps to record, in his own words, "Absolutely everything that happened in the field with total professionalism and with regards to the truth, lest I descend upon you with the righteous fury of the law and put you on parking duty for the rest of eternity due to utter incompetence." The Chief resumed reading the report.
…
Upon arriving at the scene Officer Wilde and myself found the suspect, John Burrows, in the jewelry with store with a large brown sack in tow. The suspect was a white wolf who looked to between 24 and 32, possessing brown eyes, and looking to be between 5 and 6 feet tall. The suspect was smashing the glass of several containers and placing several items into the brown sack. It appeared to be quite full already. Officer Wilde and I moved to engage the suspect. When we moved into the store I became aware of the small mole behind the counter. He appeared to be scared.
I called the attention of the suspect to myself, who had yet to notice neither myself nor Officer Wilde. Officer Wilde told the cowering mole, later identified as the store's owner, that he did not approve of his new interior designer while gesturing to the suspect. The suspect voiced his displeasure at being caught in the act. He addressed Officer Wilde with a hello. Officer Wilde responded by calling the suspect "Hairy Harry" and proceeded to ask him how he had been doing.
The suspect responded with a shrug and replied promptly that he had been doing well. I questioned Officer Wilde as to his familiarity with the suspect. Officer Wilde proceeded to smirk at me. It was frustrating. The suspect, identified as Harry Harrington by Officer Wilde, then continued to stuff various rings and jeweled items into his sack.
I ordered the suspect to cease and informed him he was under arrest. The suspect ignored me and continued to stuff valuables into his sack while carrying on a conversation with Officer Wilde. The owner of the store, John Burrows, asked if we were going to arrest the suspect at some point as it was our job. I became irritated at the situation. I voiced my concerns to my partner who ignored me and pat me on the head.
I began to advance on the suspect as Officer Wilde continued to hold a polite conversation with him. The suspect, spotting my advancement, proceeded to ask what I was doing. I informed him once again that he was under arrest, to which he looked surprised and asked Officer Wilde why he was under arrest.
Officer Wilde told the suspect that he was under arrest for poor taste in jewelry. The owner of the store voiced his displeasure at this comment. I informed the suspect that he was under arrest for robbery. The suspect claimed that he was the proper owner of the store and had proof. I disregarded this claim when Officer Wilde interjected to state that it was our duty as officers to hear every mammal's testimony. It should be noted he was excessively smarmy.
The suspect seemed pleased at this while John Burrows expressed his incredulity. As did I. Officer Wilde was adamant and said, and I quote, "I really, really want to hear his reasoning here, Carrots. Please. We can book him after. You gotta see this will be absolute gold. There's no way this won't be hilarious."
I restrained the suspect promptly. The suspect was displeased at this. Officer Wilde was even more displeased. The owner of the store was very pleased. After informing him we needed his stolen merchandise for evidence before it could be returned, he was also displeased though. Officer Wilde spoke to the owner stating, "I wouldn't be too worried about losing that. Now you can stock your shelves with something someone might buy."
…
Bogo audibly groaned as he looked to another paper on his desk which now made sense. It was a complaint of police harassment from a jewelry store owner regarding one Nicholas P. Wilde, or as the mole affectionately referred to the officer in his complaint, "Officer Chucklefuck."
…
I quickly ushered both the suspect and Officer Wilde out of the store while the owner of the store voiced his various opinions about Officer Wilde. Ever the model of professionalism, Officer Wilde responded to each. The suspect, who apparently doesn't understand the right to remain silent, thought it appropriate to voice his own opinion on Officer Wilde to the mole, loudly interjecting, "Don't be mean to Nicky here, he's a funny guy."
Officer Wilde was significantly proud of this endorsement. I was not. The owner of the store was also not as he began shouting expletives and cursing Officer Wilde.
We moved the suspect back to headquarters in our cruiser in approximately seven minutes. These minutes were spent listening to Officer Wilde interrogate the suspect. He was most definitely not sharing incriminating stories about the past with the suspect. The suspect also most definitely did not try to flirt with Officer Wilde in front of his girlfriend.
Upon arriving at the station the suspect inquired whether Officer Wilde would be free to grab a beer sometime. I answered on Officer Wilde's behalf and moved the suspect to processing.
- Officer Judy Hopps
…
Chief Bogo leaned back in his chair as he finished Officer Hopps' report on the robbery, rubbing the bridge of his nose with a hoof. While it was already quite a bother for him to read her reports, it paled in comparison to the pain he felt when forced to read through her partner's report on any case. He was sure this would be no different as he pulled Nick's report from the three remaining case files and opened it.
As he opened the file a slip of paper fell out. Bogo picked up the page and glanced at it. His eye twitched as he looked at the page which consisted of a drawing of an angry looking grey blob with crudely drawn arms and legs, which he assumed to be Hopps, standing on top of a larger white blob, which the Chief assumed to be the suspect. The grey blob was labeled, "Officer No Fun Allowed."
That, however, was not what Chief Bogo was looking at. Taking up almost half the page was a a large black creature, that had been draw with a large gaping mouth with sharp teeth and forked tongue poking out. Devil horns appeared to have been added on too. The most notable addition to the drawing, however, was a drawing of a large gaudy pearl necklace on the beast. It was labeled, "Satanic jeweler with no taste."
Naturally, any artist would've felt it necessary to sign their work, and this was the case here as well. In large looping cursive font the bottom of the drawing was signed,
- By Special Premiere Officer of the Highest Caliber Nick Wilde
As Chief Bogo stared at the drawing more and more, a deep rage bubbled inside him. The entire precinct shook as the Chief screamed.
"Who gave that fox crayons!?"
AN: Depending on the reaction to this, I may or may not write more. Fair warning though, there will be absolutely nothing of value in any of it. If you're looking for something with content, look elsewhere.