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A/N: I just need to point out that rape is bad and what is discussed in this fictional writing in real life would be considered illegal and you can be prosecuted for it. On another note, what Is green with Front towards Enemy on it? The answer is a claymore mine and they are nasty and should never be used as lawn ornaments as it could kill you and others and is also Illegal. Maybe rednecks are the only exception to that ornament thing but i doubt it. Please read and review, also if you want to see a specific report then let me know and I will try to write it.

Responding Auror: Kingsley Shacklebolt

Crime: Attempted Line Theft, Assault on an Officer of the Law

Suspects: Molly Weasley

At 1015 I was dispatched to the Burrow in Ottery St. Catchpole, for reports of rape. I arrived on-scene at 1100 and approached the house passing several little cute green lawn ornaments that had the words FRONT TOWARDS ENEMY written on it and wires trailing out of them. I made it to the door and entered to locate the crime in progress. I found Mrs. Molly Weasley laying on her back nude with hands bound above her head and legs spread with a House elf that I identified as Kreacher laying on top of her humping away. I quickly realised I was interrupting a private moment for them so I turned around and waited for them to finnish.

At 1145 the couple finally came to a stop so I approached them to find out why someone claimed a rape was going on, as I reached them I noticed Kreacher pop out. Mrs. Weasley started screeching about me saying I should have stopped that beast when I first arrived, as her voice was hurting my ears I quickly silenced her. She continued her rant appearing to not of noticed that I silenced her for 15. As this interview was already taking longer than I was willing to tolerate, I administered a right cross to her face, unfortunately I accidently knocked her out.

As she was unconscious I proceeded to take pictures of the crime scene focusing primarily on the victim's nude body, for evidence of course, and then helped myself to some food on the table. Once I ate the brownies that were supposed to go to Mr. Harry Potter, I surprisingly found myself attracted to Mrs. Weasley. I stripped down and proceded to have sexual intercorse with Mrs. Weasleys unconscious body, after I finished I realised what I just did so I quickly redressed and decided that as she was not conscious to protest against the sex then I would consider it consensual and not bring it up once she regained awareness.

Shortly after I finished dressing she woke up and I began the interrogation. She informed me that shortly after she sent some special made cookies to Mr. Potter, his house elf, Kreacher showed up and tied her up. Kreacher then began ranting about how he loved the "Blood Traitor Weasel" and that he would show her how much he loved her. Kreacher then began stripping Mrs. Weasley, took off his dirty tea towel and began to vigorously rape her nonstop. I asked who reported it the aurors and she said is was her son Mr. Ronald Weasley who reported it after watching the rape occur for 20 minutes.

Deciding I had enough of Mrs. Weasley, I proceeded to make my way to number 12 grimmauld place to speak to Mr. Potter. I knocked on the door and waited for a few minutes until Ms. Fleur Delacour, wearing a short French Maid's outfit with cat ears and tail, I stared for a few minutes and took a few pictures of Ms. Delacour's newest kink before asking to speak to Mr. Potter and his elf Kreacher. She lead me into the kitchen where Mr. Potter was sitting and Kreacher was in the background cleaning what looked like dildoes, I informed Mr. Potter why I was there and Began the interview.

Mr. Potter informed me that after he received the cookies from Mrs. Weasley that he did his standard check to see if they were potioned or poisoned by having Kreacher taste them first. After Kreacher ate a cookie he started saying he loved "Blood Traitor Weasel" and immediately popped out of the room, with Mr. Potter not knowing where he disappeared to. As Kreacher was obvious affected by something in the cookies Mr. Potter immediately started casting diagnosing charms on the food with it coming up positive for Love, Fertility, Lust, and Stamina potion, I cast the same diagnosing charms on the left over cookies and confirmed his results.

Having finished interviewing Mr. Potter I decided I had enough evidence to arrest Mrs. Weasley for Attempted Line Theft so I made my way back to the Burrow, As I informed Mrs. Weasley that she was to be considered under arrest she started to screech at me again. My ears hurting again and getting a headache I silenced her then knocked her out with a left hook to her head, I then added Assault on an Officer of the Law to her charges due to my headache and her voice hurting my ears. I then hauled he off to the jail and recommended to the jailors that they go to the armory to check out a ball gag for the suspect.

Report Update: It has been 4 months since Mrs. Weasley has been arrested and she has been diagnosed as pregnant, I hope that it is not mine, and also after being cured from my contact with Ms. Ginevra Weasley, my crotch has started to itch, I have developed rashes and it hurts when I urinate, I guess she is exactly like her daughter.