Hi? Sorry for the late update? Hopefully this SUPER FREAKING LONG CHAPTER makes up for it. Seriously, this is the longest chapter I've ever written, and it doesn't help that this is the most emotional chapter I've written. It was exhausting, especially for a person who tries to avoid feelings at all cost. Anyway, I hope you guys like it. A lot goes on but I think I made it work. Warning though, there is more cussing than i usually write (bc I am the type of person who deals with her emotions by screaming profanities at other people so I automatically assume everyone else does as well) and there's some violence (you can't have nonviolent torture) so if that's not your thing you might want to skim read this chapter. Enjoy!

(Also for some reason, it's not letting me use italics ((which is a HUGE part of my writing)) if you want to read that version, go to Archive of our own and just type the title into the search bar. you should find it pretty easy.)

Chapter Text

Morgana nervously waited in the moonlit forest for her sister. She was completely still except for the constant wringing of her hands. An owl hooted loudly, causing her to jump and yank her hands apart, defensive spells surging to her lips. It took her a moment to process what had caused the noise, and when she did, Morgana blushed and felt foolish. The witch had only spent a fortnight in Camelot and already she was paranoid. She was stronger than that, better than that. Morgause claimed that she was the most powerful witch she had ever come across, and here she was jumping at even the slightest of sounds like a frightened child.

Morgana huffed to herself and flicked her hair behind her shoulder, wincing slightly when she moved her hand. She glared at the back of her hand, trying to figure out what was wrong with it as the pain dulled from a sharp, stinging pain to a simple ache.

"You've hurt yourself, sister," Morgause said softly as she appeared suddenly from the surrounding darkness. Morgana tried to hide her flinch at the sudden movement but the high priestess' eyes were sharp enough that they caught the aborted movement.

With a murmured word, a small orb of light appeared in the palm of the sorceress' hand. The soft light made the thin line of red on the back of her sister's hand apparent.

Morgause tutted quietly as she gently wiped the blood away. "You should really take better care of yourself, dear."

"It's not my fault that I'm so anxious," Morgana said defensively, "Things have been rather… tense due to Uther's decline in health."

Morgause's eyes lit up. "So the mandrake root has worked then?"

"Yes, the citizens of Camelot believe the King has finally gone mad!" Morgana exclaimed, unable to keep the glee from her voice.

"And what of the knights?"

"Split between father and son," Morgana lifted her head slightly, a proud smirk dancing on her lips. "Some say they should follow Uther since he is the reigning king and others claim they should follow Arthur since Uther has clearly gone insane."

A malicious smile spread across the high priestess' face, and Morgana marveled at seeing it. Her sister rarely smiled, and even if this smile had a sharp edge to it, it was still a sight to see.

"So Camelot is divided. This might be easier than we thought," her sister said pensively, drawing Morgana from her thoughts. Morgana's smile faltered before disappearing completely.

"And what exactly is happening, sister?" The witch asked stiffly. "You still haven't told me who this supposed ally is. I barely got you to explain the purpose of the mandrake root!"

Morgause looked down at her sister condescendingly. "It is for your own protection, dear. This way you can safely say you don't know anything about the attack."

"I would rather be prepared for battle and lying about it than to be telling the truth and unprepared for war," Morgana snapped.

"Then you're a fool," the high priestess sneered, "Uther is far more dangerous than some silly war."

"I've lived this long!"

"You've been lucky!"

Fury flashed in Morgana's eyes. "Lucky? Lucky? Every time I enter the Citadel, I'm terrified! I've been living in fear for years now! I don't have anyone I can trust anymore because I'm terrified they will betray me. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder and watching the knights, trying to figure out if they're meant to be guarding me or if they've been sent to arrest me. I'm constantly paranoid. I'm constantly scared for my life. And you tell me I'm lucky?! "

"You've only known about your magic for-what? Two, three years? Most practitioners have been struggling to hide their magic for the majority of their lives! Do you have any idea how self-centered you sound?"

Morgana flinched back, a flush of heat swirling beneath her skin; although she wasn't sure if it was out of anger or humiliation. People always assumed she was a self-centered little twat simply because she was the king's ward. Morgana had come to expect it from strangers, but she never thought her sister would one day claim she was being selfish. She wasn't being selfish for simply wanting to know Morgause's plans. Was she?

"… Complaining about how you've been scared for your life while you're living in your ivory tower…."

It wasn't an ivory tower; it was her jail cell. Didn't her sister realize that? If Uther ever found out… Morgana shuddered. But, it wasn't like she was the only magic user scared for her life. And most others lived terrible lives. A constant nomadic life. Always running from village to village, begging for work, never getting it, resorting to magic, and getting killed for it. Maybe Morgause was right. After all, she did practically live in the lap of luxury. Sure, she couldn't trust anyone, but that was normal for magic users. Right?

"…Do you have any idea how hard I've been working? I have gathered supporters of our cause, fellow witches and wizards, and enemies of Uther to fight beside us! And what are the thanks I get? A sniveling royal scared of her own shadow, claiming that I should be doing more . More for magic users, more for the kingdom, more for my own sister ! I am doing all that I can, yet you still expect more from me …"

Morgana's eyes began to burn as well as her face. She wasn't… She didn't… She loved Morgause; Morgana thought the world of her. Surely, Morgause didn't think she was that selfish, that she would simply use and abuse her sister until there was nothing left? Morgana's breathing picked up. Oh, oh, goddess, what if she did? Morgana thought in horror. All she had done for the past few of her sister's visits was badger her for information about her plans and books so she could further research a way to bring Hadrian back. Maybe Morgause took that as a sign that she should be doing more, even though Morgana knew she was doing the best that she could. Her sister was working herself into the ground, and it was her fault. She was a terrible sister.

"…I told you this was the safest way! Not only for you but for the many other magic users I'm trying to help! This amount of secrecy protects everyone! If you can't accept that maybe we should rethink your part in the siege."

Morgana flinched back as if she had been struck. She couldn't- she couldn't breathe. She was burning, burning, burning. Her body, her face, her eyes, all burning, all aching. She felt as if she had been cut to the core. All she had wanted to do was help her fellow magic users, to save them from prosecution. Surely, her sister wasn't serious, but… it seemed like Morgana had broken her last straw. Her sister was probably deadly serious in rethinking her part in the siege.

Morgana blinked frantically. She would not cry; she refused to look any weaker than her sister already believed her to be. She couldn't give Morgause any more reasons to believe she wasn't fit to help take down Uther.

"I'm- I'm sorry," Morgana whispered, hating how broken she sounded. She tried to shove the emotions down but even she realized that it didn't work, and instead, her emotions seemed to bubble and churn with every word she said. "I didn't realize how my actions affected the people around me or that they affected so many people. It won't happen again."

Morgause straightened her shoulders in an attempt to reign in her own frustration and anger, her chainmail clinking quietly, before saying coolly, "See that it doesn't."

Morgana flinched and bowed her head slightly. She would be better. She would. Morgana wouldn't be weak and self-centered and pathetic . She would be strong and considerate, a sister Morgause deserved , a leader her people deserved.

The high priestess took a deep breath, standing straight, her head held high. Effortlessly regal. "In three days time," she began, "We will attack the citadel."

Morgana's head snapped up, her eyes wide. "Three days?"

"Yes," Morgause said, nodding, "An army shall attack the citadel's northern borders late at night. When the knights focus their attention on those gates another army shall attack from the south."

"But, sister," Morgana said hesitantly, "Nobody has ever breached Camelot's walls. Even if the knights are not prepared for the attack, the castle will still hold strong, at least until more knights are sent in that direction."

"That is where you come in."

Morgana's eyes lit up. "Really? I can help?"

"Yes, sister," Morgause said with a smile, "In fact, this entire battle will hinge on you."

Morgana's smile lit up the forest. "What will I be doing?"

"You will defeat Camelot from the inside out," Morgause stated softly, her hands reaching up to cup her sister's face. Morgana leant into her sister's touch, basking in the sudden, unexpected comfort. If she pulled this off, if she helped overthrow Uther, maybe Morgause would forgive her selfish actions. Already, her sister seemed as if she was on the path to forgiveness. Maybe-

A snap of a twig ruined the moment the two sisters were having. Morgause's hand shot out, curled as if she was strangling an invisible person and her eyes flashed a dangerous gold. Morgana mourned the loss of the comforting presence of her sister, but her eyes hardened when she heard a surprised squeak from behind the bushes. The high priestess flicked her hand, sending a figure sprawling into the clearing. Morgause glided over to where the figure was curled up and drew her sword. "Who are you?"

A familiar groan escaped the figure, causing Morgana's eyes to widen. "Merlin?!"

Morgause head snapped towards her. "You were followed!"

"But-but I was careful!" the witch stuttered, "I made sure nobody was following me. I used every spell you taught me; I shouldn't have been followed!"

"Well, obviously you were followed!"

Morgana shrank back. She couldn't do anything right today.

Morgause turned back to Merlin, her sword pressing into the soft skin of his neck. "What did you hear?"

"Oh, I've heard all sorts of things tonight," Merlin tried to feign lightheartedness but Morgana saw how he nervously eyed her sister's blade.

"Like?" Morgause prompted.

"Like, um…" Merlin stuttered nervously before replying in a bright tone that sounded forced to Morgana's trained ears, "Did you know that one of the kitchen staff is sleeping with a stable hand? Evidently a servant walked in on them….. you know….in the stables!"

"Wait, are you talking about Martha and Gellert?" The words slipped out of her mouth before she could stop them. Morgause's head snapped back towards her, a fierce glare predominate on her face, and the witch couldn't help but wince. Merlin, on the other hand, beamed at her in relief.

"Yeah, you know them? Or have you been listening to the kitchen gossip as well?"

Morgana sniffed haughtily, falling back into old patterns even with her sister glaring at her. "Royalty never listens to kitchen gossip."

"No, instead they're simply omniscient and know absolutely everything of importance with a wave of your hand. Am I right?" The words were meant jokingly but they were said too softly for there to be any bite to the words. Morgana nervously shifted back on her heels unsure of what to think of the gentle look on Merlin's face. She tried to equate the sad, hopeful man lying helplessly at her feet with the cold blooded assassin she had come to know.

She wasn't sure she was able to.

"How dare you speak to your betters in such a way!" Morgause exploded. Morgana stumbled back, surprised by the sudden ferocity. "You are nothing! Not even worth the air you breathe! I should kill you now for even daring to look at my sister," she threatened, the sword in her hand pressing heavily against his pale skin when suddenly it gave way leaving a trail of blood in its wake.

Morgana's eyes widened, and she stepped forward. "Sister!"

" What?! "

"Don't-don't kill him," the witch stuttered, her eyes never straying from the blade pressed against Merlin's neck.

"Why should I show restraint after everything he's done?! Why are you ?! You should be salivating for his death, and yet you stop me. Why? "

Morgana's eyes flickered between her sister and her past lover. "H-he might be useful," she whispered eventually, "He is Arthur's manservant after all."

For a long moment, Morgause remained towering over Merlin, her hand stiffly clenching her sword, before finally pulling it back slightly. Enough that it wasn't digging into his skin any more but not enough that he could move, Morgana noted numbly.

"Perhaps you are right," the high priestess admitted before saying sharply, "But that does not mean that he should escape punishment." She drove her blade through the servant's shoulder.

The ensuing shriek of pain rang in Morgana's ears, and she found herself stepping forward to help him before she forced herself to remain where she was. This was not the time for old feelings to come rushing back. Morgause was right; Merlin did deserve punishment, in fact he deserved something much harsher than a sword to his shoulder and yet….she couldn't bring herself to entertain the thought. Yes, he had poisoned her, but it wasn't with malicious intent like she once thought. Merlin had done what he thought was best for the kingdom (even if he was so utterly wrong ) and while the mere thought of his betrayal still hurt painfully, it didn't possess the bitterness that it once had.

A loud squelching sound filled the clearing as Morgause pulled the sword from the manservant's shoulder. Merlin grunted in pain, his hand automatically coming up to cover the freely bleeding wound. Morgana was almost impressed by the dark glare he was throwing at her sister.

"Was that necessary?" Merlin growled.

Morgause calmly cleaned the blood off her sword as she stated matter of factly, "You tried to kill my sister."

Merlin narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth for what Morgana was sure was a scathing retort, but Morgause cut him off with a wave of her hand and a flash of her eyes. Merlin shuddered violently before going completely lax.

"What did you do to him?!" Morgana exclaimed as she rushed over to his side, unable to stop herself this time when she saw how still and lifeless her former lover had become.

The high priestess rolled her eyes. "He was annoying me."

"That doesn't give you a right to kill him!" Morgana snapped as she checked his pulse.

"Oh, please, the boy's not dead, he's merely unconscious." Her sister's eyes narrowed. "Although, I don't understand why you would care if he was dead. After all, he did try to poison you."

Morgana slowly retracted her hand. "I think he can be useful to us. Like I said, he's Arthur manservant. He knows everything that goes on in that castle, from the royalty to the servants. You've already seen proof of that tonight."

The high priestess carefully evaluated the unconscious servant, humming to herself. "A dalliance between servants is hardly proof but… I suppose he could be useful." She kicked his leg, causing his head to loll to the left slightly. She smirked. "After an hour or two, I'm sure he'll spill everything there is to tell."

Morgana winced minutely. "Maybe," she said hesitantly, although she was already doubting the sincerity of her words. Merlin was, or well, had been loyal to a fault. Morgana doubted he would turn on Arthur so quickly, if at all.

A voice snorted in the back of her mind and whispered, He turned on you, didn't he? Or do you think he's more loyal to Arthur than he was to you ?

Morgana shook her head, trying to physically dispel the thoughts.

Her sister waved her hand dismissively, causing Morgana to come back to the conversation at hand with a jolt. "Of course, he will. He's nothing but a servant boy; he'll crumble under the power of a high priestess. Now," A smirk appeared on Morgause's face. "I believe we have a siege to discuss."

"What about Merlin?" Morgana asked, nervously glancing down at his body as if expecting him to wake suddenly.

"What about him? It's not as if he can hear us; he'll be unconscious for hours unless I wake him. And anyway, it's not like he's going to be able to warn the castle after he awakens."

Morgana's brows furrowed slightly and she looked at her sister in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Her sister stared at her incredulously. "You do realize that there will be a point in time when the servant boy will stop being useful."

"Of course I do, but I don't see what this has to do wi-" She cut herself off when she realized what her sister was trying to say. "Oh," Morgana said softly as she glanced down at the body lying at her feet, "What are you going to do with him?"

"I'll get rid of him the same way he tried to get rid of you," Morgause stated smugly, "Poison."

Morgana flinched, her eyes never leaving Merlin's body sprawled on the ground. "Sister…"

"I tempted to give him hemlock just for the dramatic irony of it all, but it's not painful enough for the boy. He needs to suffer for everything he's done to you," Morgause continued.

"Sister…"

"Maybe I should give him some Oleander," she considered, "I've seen what that can do to a man; it's quite painful and can last for hours."

"Morgause!"

The high priestess turned towards her, confusion on her face. Morgana bit her bottom lip nervously as she glanced down once more towards the body at her feet before breathing out, "Please, don't kill him."

" What? "

Morgana winced. "Please, don't make me repeat it."

Morgause stared at her sister incredulously. "Well, you're going to have to because I think I'm hearing things!"

"Don't kill him."

" Why? " The passion drained out of her sister's voice leaving only pained confusion. "What am I missing? Why don't you want revenge? After everything he's done to you, he deserves to die." Morgause's eyes narrowed slightly, she stared at her sister consideringly. "What are you not telling me"

Morgana's eyes widened and she quickly stuttered out, "Nothing, I swear! It's just…. we were friends once. I can't imagine killing him even after everything he's done."

"But he tried to kill you, sister," Morgause stressed desperately, "Surely, that destroyed any attachment you had to the boy."

Morgana shook her head. "You don't understand. We were close. He helped me at times when it would have been safer for him to just ignore me. He kept my secrets."

"You were…. close ," the high priestess said slowly before continuing carefully, "Sister, should I be worried about the amount of… familiarity you are showing to this serving boy?"

"No, no," Morgana quickly denied, "We were just friends. Nothing more."

"Then you need to get over this mad sense of obligation you seem to have!" Morgause cried before clutching at her sister's hands, "Morgana, what will happen when we finally take over Camelot and we have to kill Arthur? Will you plead for his life as well?"

"No, of course not. He's a threat to the throne-"

"And this boy is a threat to our throne," Morgause interrupted, "He is loyal to Arthur in every way. If he lives, there will be no stopping him from telling all of Camelot of our plans." Morgause brushed a strand of hair out of her sister's face. "And I fear what would become of you if he told. I shudder at the thought of what Uther might do to you."

Morgana flinched, visions of a pyre and flames dancing to the forefront of her mind.

"You're right, of course you're right," Morgana muttered to herself.

Morgause smiled sympathetically. "I'm only trying to protect you, sister. This is the only way to do that."

"But that's not true," Morgana whispered before saying desperately, "Couldn't you just put a spell on him and make him leave or-or-or there has to be something you can do!"

Morgause's eyes widened when they caught sight of Morgana's glistening eyes. She quickly pulled her sister into a hug and comfortingly ran her fingers through the younger girl's hair.

Morgana burrowed deeper into her sister's embrace before sniffling, "I don't care what you do to him. He'll deserve whatever you throw at him… just don't kill him. Please. I owe him that much."

"You don't owe him anything," Morgause argued.

Morgana clutched at her sister tighter. "But it feels like I do." She gave a watery laugh. "Which makes no sense, I know, he did try to kill me, but… he did so much for me, as well. He-he helped me talk sense into Arthur when he did something stupid and calmed me after my nightmares and was never scared of me. Even after he learned I had magic. And-and I know the Merlin lying over there is not the same sweet boy that helped me sneak off to a Druid camp so I could learn to control my magic but… I can't bear the thought that the only thing being left of that boy is a memory. Please, Morgause, don't kill him. Promise me you won't kill him, please."

Morgause's fingers stilled in her sister's hair.

"Please, sister. Please promise me."

Morgause's fingers began moving once more.

"I promise."

"Wake up."

Merlin grunted when something hit him in the ribs. Foot , his mind supplied, That was a foot. He scowled, not opening his eyes. "Ow."

"Oh did that hurt?" Morgause asked in mock sympathy. "Good."

Merlin chose to ignore the high priestess and focus on pain resonating throughout his body. The pain from his shoulder had been manageable before simply because of the amount of adrenaline pumping through him, but now the pain had came back with a vengeance. The wound was pulsing with pain in time with his heartbeat, and Merlin could only hope that Morgause hadn't hit any major arteries. Although the wound itself felt like it was on fire, the surrounding skin felt cold which Merlin knew could not mean anything good since it had been fairly warm the last time he was awake. He should not be fighting back shivers.

Merlin winced when he shifted slightly and a twig poked into the tender flesh of his shoulder. The ground was definitely not the best place for him to be; he couldn't risk the wound getting infected. He had seen what infection had done to some of the knights who had passed through Gaius' chambers; he knew how fast it killed them. Even with his magic, Merlin doubted he would live long if an infection spread into his blood. He tried to will himself to sit up, but as soon as he moved his head a wave of nausea passed through him and his head started pounding. He settled back down onto the leaves with a low groan.

A strangled yelp escaped from the servant and his eyes flew open when the ground underneath him instantly disappeared and something tightened painfully. The pounding in his head reached new heights, and Merlin could practically feel the blood draining from his face as another wave of nausea passed through him. He tried to curl in around himself, but whatever had tightened around him- Chains. Why is it always chains? -snaked around him even tighter, grinding into the bloody wound on his shoulder and digging into his stomach. Merlin gagged but whether it was due to the ever increasing nausea or pain, he wasn't sure.

Fingers threaded through his hair in a caressing manner before his head was yanked up violently. Morgause stared down at him imperially, her armor glinting in the sunlight.

Wait- sunlight? Merlin thought in confusion. Sunlight meant day. Day meant work. Work that he had to be at. Abduction was not a reasonable excuse to be absent, he knew from experience. Arthur is gonna kill me, he mourned silently before adding seriously, glancing up at the high priestess standing in front of him, If she doesn't.

"Why is it, Merlin," Morgause asked softly as she comfortingly ran her fingers through his hair, "That we always seem to be meeting-" Her fingers stilled in his hair, and she clutched the strands tightly in her fist. "At the wrong place-" She wrenched his head further back so that he was forced to look directly into her eyes. "And the wrong time?"

"I always have been an unlucky person," Merlin mumbled, focusing more on his roiling stomach than the sorceress in front of him. "And if you keep shaking me, I'm going to vomit all over your boots."

Morgause sneered in disgust and thrust him away. "Why Morgana decided to befriend you I shall never know."

"I have my moments."

Morgause hummed. "And was poisoning Morgana one of your moments?"

Merlin stiffened, and he glared at the high priestess. "I had no choice. It was her or the kingdom, and I couldn't let Camelot fall."

"I just don't understand you, Merlin," Morgause sighed, kneeling down beside him, "The king's ward herself decides to take you under her wing, befriend you, despite your lower status, yet you decide to stab her in the back for what? Recognition? A higher status? Why is it that you continue to risk everything to protect a tyrant and his throne?"

"I would not poison Morgana for a reward !" Merlin spat out the word. "Nothing that I do is for Uther! It is for Arthur and the just and fair kingdom I believe he will create!"

Morgause rocked back on her heels, watching him in contemplation. "So everything you do, every choice you make, every person you kill… is in the name of Arthur ?"

"Yes!" Merlin snapped before fully registering the sorceress' words and stuttering, "Wait-no-maybe-I don't kill people !"

"But you tried to kill Morgana."

"I had to-"

"For Arthur. "

"For Camelot ," Merlin corrected.

Morgause stood suddenly and walked over to where her sword was impaled in the ground. "Well, if you're so close to Arthur ," She pulled the blade out of the dirt and twirled it expertly in her hand before spinning to press it lightly to his throat. "Then you must know all about him. "

Merlin forced himself not to gulp.

Morgause smiled anyway.

"I will not betray my king," Merlin replied steadily. He began to mentally prepare himself for the pain that was sure to come.

Morgause's smile turned shark-like. "As far as I know, Uther isn't dead yet, and the boy is still a prince, but I suppose it's the sentiment that counts," She mocked before bending down and whispering in his ear, the soft puffs of air causing the hairs on the back to stand, "By the end of the night, all of that loyalty that you seem to care so much about will be decimated to the point that you'll be begging me for a chance to hurt Arthur just so I will stop hurting you. "

Merlin gulped.

"Now, is there anything you wish to tell me about the young prince or are you going to be stubborn?"

Merlin gave an uneasy smile. "Stubborn is my middle name. Just ask Morgana."

"Good. This makes things better for me," Morgause said lightly before a fist unexpectedly collided with Merlin's face. Merlin reeled to the side and tried blink away the shock and pain of it all.

"What was that for?! You haven't even asked a question yet!" Merlin yelped, wincing with every movement. She had caught him on the top of his cheekbone, too close to his eye. He wasn't going to be able to hide the shiner from Arthur or anyone, for that matter. Merlin bit back a chuckle. Here he was worried about hiding a bruise when there was a gaping wound in his shoulder. Maybe he had lost too much blood.

Morgause tilted her head and gave him a bright smile causing Merlin to rear back slightly. The innocent, carefree smile didn't coincide with the sword in her hand and her bruising knuckles. "Because I wanted to."

"So, Merlin," Morgause said lightly as she trailed the tip of her sword over the cheek she just hit, "As the prince's manservant, you must go to all the council meetings. That means you know practically everything about Camelot including," she flicked her sword sharply, causing a shallow gash to appear over the bruising flesh, "The weak points in its defense."

"Look," Merlin replied helplessly, "I don't know anything. I sleep through the meetings. It's one of the things I'm known for actually. So this whole torture thing you have going on here? Is going to be pointless because I can't tell you anything ."

"That's where you're wrong, Merlin. Even if you truly don't know anything about Camelot, torturing you will be worthwhile. Do you know why?" Morgause didn't even pause to let him answer. "Because you poisoned one of my own."

Morgause flung her arm out towards him and growled, "Træglian!"

A horrible scream ripped out of Merlin's throat. It felt as if something had forced its way into the stab wound and was physically pulling the muscles away from the bone. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut, unwilling to look at how the wound slowly was slowly being pulled open, revealing the glistening bones underneath. Blood poured from the wound and soaked into his shirt, turning it from blue to a deep magenta in seconds. After what seemed like an eternity, the high priestess dispelled the curse with a flick of her hand. "Now," her voice was as sharp as her sword, "Tell me about Camelot's weaknesses."

"I don't know anything," Merlin gasped out desperately. He blinked back the unexpected tears that had formed. He refused to cry in front of her. He refused to show any kind of weakness in front of her. "You torturing me isn't going to change that!"

"Maybe, maybe not." Morgause knelt down beside him again and ran a finger over the shallow cut on his cheek, smearing the blood. "We'll just have to see."

"What's it even matter?" Merlin spat out angrily, "You're going to torture me either way. Might as well just keep my mouth shut. At least that way I'm not a traitor."

"But if you told me the truth," the high priestess breathed out, "You'd know you did everything you could to stop me from doing this."

Morgause thrust two fingers into his shoulder wound. Merlin choked on the very air he was desperately trying to inhale. She wiggled her fingers experimentally, causing the servant to feel so incredibly light-headed. He could feel the witch's fingers moving inside of him . It was beyond disconcerting and so, so, so invasive . It made him want to vomit. At least with the spell she had cast on him, the pain had been constant, consistent. Every muscle had been affected at the same time, with the same amount of pressure, causing the same amount of pain. With this, the pain was inconsistent, always fluctuating, and so entirely human in a way that magic could never be. It made it worse.

A grin stole across Morgause's face. "I can feel your bones," she said in fascination, "They're slick. Can you feel what I'm doing?"

Merlin flinched, causing the witch to gasp. He knew logically that he didn't have any nerves in his bones, but he swore he could feel her stroking his clavicle as she would a cat.

"Do that again!" She demanded excitedly, "I felt that! Do that again!"

Merlin's lips curled up into a sneer. " Fuck. You. "

A dangerous expression replaced the morbid excitement from seconds earlier. Looking him dead in the eyes, the high priestess proceeded to add another two fingers to the wound and curled them upwards until she was clutching his collarbone, and her nails were digging into his muscles. Blood bubbled out of the wound and ran down her arm. Merlin was unable to stop himself from gagging and shuddering.

Morgause smirked. "How does it feel? To know that a stranger is holding one of the most intimate parts of your body, something that has never been touched before, should never be touched. You can't even move ." Her smirk was so blood thirsty, so deadly. "Well, I suppose you could try. But this bone isn't going anywhere. I wonder how it would break. Would it snap in half? Or would it be wrenched out of place and then snapped?"

Merlin jerked to the side and vomited the meager amount of food that was still in his stomach from the day before. He heaved even more when he felt how the bone moved within him, wanting to remain in the same place where Morgause was clutching it.

She giggled. "Well, would you look at that! The little servant boy moved! Could you feel your bones moving unnaturally inside you? Grinding against each other in ways that shouldn't be possible? Did you feel how your bone strained against the movement? Because I did."

The high priestess smirked cruelly. "I should lead you around like this. What do you think people would say if you walked into Camelot like this? Trotting after the heels of a sorceress like the good little dog that you are, chasing after a bone."

She giggled at her own joke before asking, "What do you think Arthur would say when he saw a witch with her hand curled around your heart ?" Morgause leaned in close and whispered in his ear, "I bet they would burn you with me. Build a pyre right beside mine and light it on fire. You'd probably scream out to Arthur, wouldn't you? Beg for his help, beg for him to save you ." The small, gentle puffs of air that corresponded with each word made the hairs on the back of Merlin's neck stand up. "But Arthur, Arthur wouldn't save you. He'd just look at you with that imperious, disgusted expression on his face because once your heart is touched by magic, you are corrupted. You are worse than any magic user because magic touched your core, your very soul . Arthur would rejoice when you died. Yet another victory against the wickedness of magic!"

Her loud cackle echoed throughout the clearing.

" I. Know. Nothing ." Merlin hissed through gritted teeth, ignoring how his heart pounded at the very possible threat she had uttered, and instead put all of his anger into his words.

Morgause pouted mockingly at the boy at the same time she jerked the bone in her hand forward, as if she was trying to pull it from his body. A yell of pain escaped Merlin, and he pitched forward, trying to escape the pain. She smirked. "Pity."

She withdrew her fingers from the wound slowly, as if she was trying to prolong the pain. She sneered at the blood dripping off of her hand, holding it away from the rest of her body so she wouldn't get any blood on her clothes before a speculative look crossed her face. With very deliberate movements, the witch reached up a smeared the blood across his left cheek and lips. "There." She smiled. "Now you look like you're blushing."

Morgause rocked back on her heels to admire her handiwork. She had left the boy a patchwork of reds, purples, and blues that normally she would be rather proud of but… the boy had refused to talk. Any other servant would have crumbled under her administrations and told her everything she wanted to know. Even if they didn't know anything of importance, normal people would make up something in an attempt to get her to stop . But this servant, this Merlin , simply kept repeating that he didn't know anything which Morgause knew was a blatant lie. It was impossible to be a servant to a royal and not know anything of importance.

The high priestess glared up at the moving sun. As much as she wanted to stay and teach this boy what happens when somebody hurts her sister, she was on a tight schedule. She couldn't afford to stay here much longer. Huffing, Morgause turned back to the boy, only to falter when she saw the deadly look in his eyes. She reared back before she could stop herself. Her magic surged throughout her body, warning her, telling her to leave now before it was too late.

Deeply disturbed by the sensation, Morgause clambered to her feet shakily. "I guess we'll just have to skip ahead to the finale then." She tried to ignore how breathless her voice sounded, as she attempted to reign in the bizarre terror this servant boy had invoked in her. The boy was chained up, completely at her mercy; she didn't understand how any aspect of the boy could make her magic this uncontrollably afraid and wanting to lash out.

Giving into the need, the high priestess allowed her eyes to burn gold, causing the chains to tighten around Merlin to the point that he could barely move. A deep groan vibrated in his chest, and the nausea he had been feeling since he woke up, surged back with a vengeance even though he knew there was nothing left in his stomach.

"What's the finale?" He eventually groaned once he was positive that his stomach wasn't going to make a guest appearance in this scene.

"Trust me, honey, you're going to love it."

Merlin did not like the almost giddy expression on her face. He licked his lips. "I sincerely doubt that."

She shrugged, her previously giddy expression becoming indifferent. "You might not." She flashed him an arrogant smirk. "But I will."

And without another word, the high priestess turned on her heels and stalked off into the forest, her armor glinting in the sunlight. Merlin stared after her, worry churning in his gut, but maybe that was just the uncontrollable nausea.

"That… was overly dramatic," he said in an attempt to ease the tension running through him, but the words feel flat and he couldn't help shout after Morgause even though she had already disappeared into the underbrush, "Hey, are you just going to leave me here?"

The forest remained silent.

"I have places to be!" he tried again.

Still no answer.

"… Fuck."

He glared at the surrounding trees. The forest was eerily quiet, and goosebumps began to form on his arms and the back of his neck. Something was not right here.

Merlin turned his attention back to the chains surrounding him; he needed to get out of here before whatever Morgause expected to happen actually occurred. His eyes glowing gold, he hissed, "Áberstan!"

A yell of pain escaped from him when the chains grew even tighter, one of the links almost half inserted into the wound in his shoulder. He forced himself to look away from the gruesome sight but he wondered absentmindedly if the lightheadedness he was suffering was due to the sight of the metal digging into his flesh or the blood loss he must be suffering from.

"Really?!" He shouted into the forest, finally letting some of his anger out now that he knew everyone was gone, "You wrapped me up in magic chains ?! You couldn't have just chained me up in some normal chains that you could have gotten from a blacksmith for twenty coins? Where the hell did you even get these?!"

When Merlin received no answer, he sighed, even though he had been expecting it. He grumbled to himself, "I guess I know where Morgana gets her fascination with chains from."

The thought of Morgan made him wince. Morgana was a… complicated topic. All of his thoughts about her were jumbled and unordered, and it was driving him absolutely mad. Every time Merlin thought he had her figured out she did something to dispute everything he once thought was true. Morgana just kept surprising him. She always had, of course, but now the stakes were higher than being kicked out of their bed for the night. Now, the entire kingdom was in danger because she kept surprising him.

Merlin didn't know what to think Morgana anymore. Oh, he still loved her, loved her dearly and would probably always love her, but… he didn't know whose side she was on anymore, and as much as he hated to admit it, that was what counted nowadays. Merlin snorted to himself. Who would have thought that one day he would choose politics over love? Certainly not him.

But then again, all of this was my own damn fault anyways, Merlin thought to himself with a scowl on his face. He should have never given her that damn waterskin. Maybe then none of this would have happened. Just once he should have picked love over everything else, just once ! He had known the moment she drank from the waterskin that he had made a terrible mistake, but he hadn't realized how bad of a mistake he had made until Morgana had made her grand return to Camelot this year.

Goddess, just thinking of that day made him want to vomit. He could remember in horrifying clarity the sheer terror and pain in her eyes. Morgana rarely bared her emotions for the world to see, but she never allowed anyone to see fear in her eyes, never . Merlin had automatically stepped forward, wanting to help her, to comfort her. Except she flinched away. And that's when it all came crashing down around him, and Merlin realized that he was the cause of the terror in her eyes, that he was the reason her mask was cracked beyond repair, baring her pain for the world to see. He didn't think he'd ever feel as disgusted with himself as he had then.

He had tried to make things right, to explain everything, (not everything , a voice commented snidely in his head, but he shoved it down) but he had to go and fuck that up as well. It didn't help that the voice in the back of his head that he always tried so hard to ignore kept insisting that something was different with Morgana, that something was wrong . And then Merling found Morgana replacing the mandrake root under Uther's bed. He hated when the voice was right.

Merlin didn't really remember what happened after that, but he knew he hadn't reacted well. Not at all. In fact, he had lost a considerable amount of time that night. All he knew was that one moment he was watching Morgana replace that godforsaken root and then the next he was at the top of the West Tower several hours later.

He did remember what had happened afterwards.

He pored over every memory he had of Morgana, every conversation they had had, every action she had done, in an attempt to figure out what the fuck had happened.

It once disgustingly simple to piece together once he tried.

Morgana was scared, so very, very scared. She had always been good at hiding it, but he should have known to look deeper, and not take everything at face value with Morgana. She was surrounded by people who despised magic, and living at the very center of an empire dedicated to its destruction. She must have been terrified every time Uther demanded to see her, every time a knight followed her a step to close, every time Arthur looked at her oddly. That kind of constant fear is enough to break anyone- he should know.

On top of it all, Morgana was lonely. She was used to a support system that Merlin could only dream of. She was used to talking out her problems with her friends and family, but that wasn't possible when her family was the one leading the charge against magic. Merlin had thought he was enough, but he should have known better. He would never be enough, could never be enough. Not while he was lying about his own magic.

Maybe things would have been different if he had told her everything. Scratch that, things would have been better if Merlin had told her everything. Morgana wouldn't have felt so scared. She wouldn't have thought she was alone. She would have had someone she could finally connect to. Instead, Merlin decided that he just had to keep continuing the charade, and Morgana turned elsewhere for comfort. Instead, she found Morgause, and the rest, as they say, is history.

The scream that had left his lips when he realized that he was the cause of Morgana's betrayal was filled with rage and pain. It ripped at his vocal cords and made his eyes water. When he finally ran out of breath, though, he locked all his emotions up. It didn't matter how much he loved her. It didn't matter how much he hated himself for pushing her away, for pushing her to this . All that mattered was the fact that she was going to destroy Camelot, and probably kill everyone else he cared about. He couldn't let Arthur, Gwen, and Gaius die (Which he knew would happen. Arthur was a threat to the throne. Gwen was his weak spot. Gaius was a staunch supporter of the royal family. It would be stupid to let them live, and Morgana was never, ever stupid.). Not for his own mistakes.

He had steeled himself against Morgana that day, forced himself to think and act as if she was the enemy. Merlin had followed her out here tonight expecting the worse. Instead, Morgana surprised him. Again .

The… argument between the two sisters had not been expected. He had thought the two were in total agreement about everything, but evidently not. In fact, Morgana seemed rather angry with Morgause.

Merlin seethed silently. Morgause. If there was anyone who he'd be willing to kill, it would be her. The way she had treated Morgana made his blood burn. Merlin clenched his jaw. Under normal circumstances, Morgana would have verbally (and maybe even physically; it wouldn't have been the first time Merlin had witnessed such a thing.) destroyed the high priestess. But these weren't normal circumstances. Instead, Merlin watched helplessly as Morgause reduced Morgana to tears with a few well-placed words.

If that wasn't enough to convince Merlin that maybe Morgana wasn't as willing a participant as she seemed to be, her asking the high priestess to spare his life certainly he still had a chance. If he showed Morgana how that witch was manipulating her, if he told her the truth, if he-

The leaves rustled to the left of him. Merlin whipped his head around. "Hello?" He called out tensely, "Is anyone there?"

Any hope he may have been harboring was crushed when he saw what looked to be a black scorpion the size of a dog appear from the bushes. His eyes widened and he breathed out, "Double fuck."

He knew what happened to victims of the serket's sting. Only one such victim had passed through Gaius' doors, but that was enough for him to realize he should never, under any circumstances, come into contact with a serket.

Everything had been normal when the man had first been brought in. Gaius had been barking orders, hastily undressing the knight, but as soon as he had seen the wound, the physician had froze before simply covering the man with a blanket and shaking his head. Merlin had been furious, demanding to know why his mentor wasn't even trying to save the poor knight. He didn't believe Gaius when he explained that there was no cure for a serket sting. Merlin did believe him twelve hours later when the knight was drowning from fluid in his lungs and begging for someone to kill him in order to make the pain stop . The man didn't make it through the night.

Merlin looked down wildly at the chains wrapped around him. It was nearly impossible for him to move, let alone run ; the chains were much too tight. Merlin's eyes flashed gold. "Áberstan!"

He groaned in pain when the chains tightened yet again. He glanced up, forcing himself to ignore his bloody shoulder wound, only to realize in horror that many more serkets were making their way out of the bushes, completely surrounding him. A hissing sound erupted in front of him and Merlin whipped around to see a serket not two feet in front of him.

"Áwierpe!" Merlin cried in panic, his eyes flaring gold again. The serket flew backwards, colliding with a tree. A touch of a smile formed on his lips. Maybe he could do this. If he just kept throwing them back-

An ear shattering roar erupted from Merlin as a fiery rope of pain ripped across his back. His magic reacted instinctively, casting all of the serkets out of the clearing at once and leaving Merlin alone in his pain.

Shakes racked his frame as Merlin clenched his eyes closed and tried to get a handle on the fiery pain that was unlike anything he had ever felt.

Something rustled to the side of him.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Merlin spat out, "You've already stung me once; what more can you do?"

Merlin glared at the black serkets starting to surround him once more. He ignored how his eyesight was blurring or how he couldn't stop his own limbs from shaking and instead, sent all the magic he could summon at the serkets. A flood of blue-white magic burst from him, creating a fairly large shield that completely surrounded him. The serkets shrieked and screamed, but every time they touched the barrier, Merlin heard the sizzling of burnt flesh.

Merlin smiled shakily, before muttering to himself, "Never done that before."

His back muscles spasmed, causing him to groan and pitch forward slightly. Merlin panted heavily, trying to push down the nausea that was making itself known again now that he was out of immediate danger.

Merlin giggled to himself somewhat hysterically. When had a deadly poison in his bloodstream and an infected wound become anything other than "immediate danger" to him? Probably around the time he met Arthur.

Goddess, his head was pounding. Had there always been so many serkets and had they always been so… blurry? Full body shakes racked the warlock, and Merlin finally lost his balance and fell forward. Whimpering quietly when he landed harshly on his wounded shoulder, he immediately rolled over, momentarily forgetting about the wound on his back. He hissed when the burning skin on his back made contact with the soil underneath him, unsure if it was better or worse than laying on his shoulder. After a moment's consideration, he decided he was too drained to do much of anything right now, much less move his body anymore than he had to.

Merlin gazed up at the sky, his eyes slowly glazing over. With every breath, the pain seemed to increase to the point where he swore he could feel the fiery poison coursing through his blood, searching for his heart. His vision was getting darker with every second, a sure sign that he was close to losing consciousness.

Desperation clawed at him. If Merlin allowed himself to pass out, he knew that tiny sliver of hope he was clutching onto would die with him along with it. He couldn't die, though, not now! Not when Camelot was in danger and he still had a chance to save Morgana. He couldn't die. He wouldn't allow it.

Merlin tilted his head back and roared into the sky.

Living was painful, and he hated it.

Well, not really. Merlin didn't hate it, just, Goddess , he hurt all over! Stupid Morgause, stupid serkets, stupid cryptic-assed dragon who only fixed him up enough that the warlock wasn't dying anymore before shipping him back to save bloody Camelot! Honestly, the hundred year old dragon didn't even heal the gaping hole in his shoulder before going on a rant about how Merlin should never have trusted "that Goddess forsaken witch whose only goal is to destroy Albion". Merlin had had to stitch up the wound himself.

It didn't help that the bloody dragon had kept him unconscious for two days, claiming the warlock needed to heal. Merlin snorted to himself. He could heal after he had made sure Camelot wasn't in danger of falling to an insane (brilliant) sorceress (tactician), thank you very much. Morgause's army could arrive any day now, and he wasn't prepared in the slightest. What was he going to-

Merlin's internal rant was cut off when something hard and brittle collided with his chest. Hissing, the warlock clutched at his shoulder in an attempt to soothe the muscles underneath, but Merlin could barely feel the soft touch through the bulky bandages hidden underneath his shirt.

"Oh, I am so sorry! I was paying attention to where I was going and - Merlin are you all right? What happened to your face?"

Merlin gave Gwen a weak smile and forced himself to drop his hand away from his shoulder. "It's nothing. I'm fine."

"That doesn't look like fine to me," Gwen argued as she gently touched the purple skin on his cheekbone, careful to avoid the gash at the center of the bruise. "What happened?"

"Oh, you know," he replied with a brittle smile. "Same old, same old."

Gwen leveled him with a disapproving glare. " I sincerely hope you don't look like you've lost a bar fight on a regular basis."

Merlin laughed nervously. "Right. Of course not. This is definitely just a one time thing."

Gwen's eyes narrowed. "What happened?"

Merlin forced a laugh again. "See, here's where it's funny. I lost a tavern fight."

" Merlin ," she sighed, "You really shouldn't put yourself into these situations. What would happen if somebody hit you just a little too hard? Honestly, Merlin, I don't like seeing you in the patient bed in Gaius room. Did you at least get him to check you out?"

"Yeah, yeah I did. It wasn't anything much. Just some bruising to the face and chest; nothing important."

" Nothing important? Chest bruising is not nothing import- chest?" Her eyes grew wide. "Oh, are you all right? I hit you rather hard with that basket. Is your chest all right? Did I hurt your bruises?"

"I'm fine, Gwen, I swear!"

"Are you sure? You can never be too careful. You didn't injure your ribs did you-"

"Gwen, I'm fine-"

"But what if I made your bruises worse, what if-"

"Honestly, Gwen, you're worrying too much."

"I am not worrying too much! I have a right to worry with how accident prone you are!"

"I am not accident prone!"

"Yes, you are. Don't deny it. Now, why don't we head to Gaius' and have him check you out again-"

"Basket."

She paused. "What?"

"Basket." He nodded towards the floor.

She followed his gaze in confusion, before her eyes widened. "Oh! Basket!"

Gwen dropped to her knees where the forgotten basket of clothing had laid abandoned on the floor. She began to pick up the scattered pieces of clothing as she muttered, "Damn it, I just washed these!"

Merlin's injuries were forgotten for the moment, and he couldn't be more thankful. He did not want to visit Gaius again.

Merlin carefully knelt down beside her and helped her put the clothes away. "I'm sure they'll be fine." He grinned. "We both know how often these floors are cleaned."

"You more so than me, Mr. Klutz," Gwen replied with a mischievous look in her eyes. "How long again did Cook have you scrubbing the kitchen floors when you broke her favorite mixing bowl?"

"Five hours," Merlin said sheepishly.

Gwen rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "Honestly, Merlin, you need to work on your coordination. I can't keep hiding Morgana's necklace that you keep breaking. She's going to find out eventually. And I'm gonna blame it on you when she does."

Merlin flinched. "Morgana?"

Gwen nodded distractedly, not noticing the sudden tension radiating from her friend. "Yes, and she's very sensitive these days. One wrong word, and she explodes."

She blushed when her mind finally caught up with her mouth. "I-I didn't mean that!" Gwen quickly denied. "I'm not complaining; I swear! She's just dealing with a lot of stress right now. I'm sure she's just trying to get used to royal life again."

Merlin gave his friend a tight-lipped smile. "I'm sure."

Gwen stood, finally noticing the tension and unsure of how to disband it. "It's not just me, is it? I mean, have you noticed anything different about Morgana?"

"Uh, I don't- I'm not sure," Merlin stuttered, "I haven't really seen her since she's returned."

Gwen glanced up at him in shock. "Wait, you haven't visited her yet? Why not? I'm sure she'd appreciate it."

"I sincerely doubt that," Merlin muttered to himself.

"What was that?" Gwen asked in confusion.

Merlin plastered on a fake smile. "Oh, nothing, nothing." The fakeness fell away and concern filtered into his voice. "Is everything ok between you and Morgana, though? You seem kinda tense."

"It's nothing," Gwen said quietly, her eyes downcast, "It's just… Morgana keeps giving me all this extra work, and at first, I was more than willing to do anything to help her, but now it just seems like she's giving me all this work to get rid of me."

"I'm sure she's not trying to get rid of you, Gwen!" Merlin immediately tried to comfort her. "She's probably just stressed… about certain things. Why don't you ask her for a break? You look like you could use one."

Which was more than true. There were dark circles under the servant's eyes, and her normally pristine dress was wrinkled and stained in places. Her hair created a frizzy halo around her face, and her posture was slumped and almost defeated. She looked as if she hadn't had a good night's rest in weeks.

Gwen began to fiddle with her dress. "I know I should, but… I just don't want to be away from her, you know? It's like, if I turn my back on her for just a moment, she'll disappear again. She was gone for so long , Merlin; I don't think I'd be able to handle it if she disappeared again." She took a deep breath. "I just want to help her. I want to be there for her because I know she just went through a terrible year, but she won't talk to me and whenever I try to get her to talk about that year she just pushes me away and sends me on these fool errands, except now she sends me on these stupid errands all the time, it doesn't matter if I'm trying to get her to talk about what happened, she just sends me away! She won't let me help, and I'm just… I'm just…"

"Exhausted," Merlin filled in for her. "You should tell her that. Ask for a day off; I'm sure she'd allow it. And maybe space is what the two of you need. Morgana never was the clingy type; maybe she thinks you're smothering her."

"I'm not-"

"I know you're not smothering her," Merlin quickly appeased, "But look at it from her perspective. She spent a year with minimal contact with people and they only wanted to hurt her. Now she's back in Camelot and surrounded by people. It doesn't matter that we care about her; she still feels suffocated. Especially after such a sudden change."

Gwen sniffed. "You're right. I should have realized. I mean, you're right, Morgana has never been clingy, why would I think she would be now? God, how could I be so stupid? I should have realized-"

"Hey, hey hey!" Merlin cut her off before she could spiral any further. "You've had a lot on your mind. We've all felt the pressure around here. It's not your fault. It's not anyone's fault."

Gwen slumped. "I know. I just wish everything was like it once was. The four of us used to be so close, ya know? It didn't matter that we were all from different social standings; we were friends. Now, though, now there's a distance between all of us, and I don't know how to fix it."

"You can't fix everything, Gwen."

"But I can try."

Merlin snorted. "Trust me, Gwen. Sometimes trying to fix things only makes it worse."

Gwen paused, her determination turning into concern. "Is everything all right, Merlin? You know you can talk to me, right?"

"Yeah, yeah," Merlin said distractedly, "Don't worry, everything's fine."

If anything, his careless words made her even more concerned. "I mean it, Merlin," She said seriously, "You're my best friend. I'd do anything for you. You can talk to me."

"I know, Gwen," he said more serious than he had previously, before a lie passed through his lips, "But everything's fine. Sure, things are stressful right now, but everything will go back to normal when things calm down."

I sincerely doubt it , he finished silently.

Just then a group of knights burst into the corridor, running towards the Great Hall. Merlin quickly grabbed his friend and drug her out of the middle of the hall so she wouldn't be trampled.

"That doesn't look like calm," Gwen mumbled, peaking around his shoulder, her eyes wide at the unexpected sight of the usually calm knights so frazzled.

"No, it doesn't," Merlin agreed.

Moments after the knights disappeared, anxious whispers broke out among the servants in the hall, their eyes occasionally darting to where they had last seen the knights. The sharp click, click, click of heels echoed over the den.

"What is going on?"

The two servants turned to see Morgana standing behind them, her pale blue dress clutched in her fist so she could run better and her eyes wide with concern. If Merlin didn't know about her secret meetings with Morgause, he would think she was sincere.

Morgana's already fair skin paled even further when she finally realized who was clutching her maid to his chest. "M-Merlin?" Morgana's eyes widened in confusion and something almost like horror. "What are you doing here?"

"I work here," Merlin said in a deadpan tone.

Morgana's smile was brittle around the edges. "Of course, silly." The slight strain in her voice was obvious to Merlin, but he doubted Gwen heard it. "But I thought you were leaving Camelot for a while. Your mother is sick. Isn't she?"

Gwen's head snapped towards him, concern evident on her face. "You're leaving? Why didn't you tell me?"

Merlin winced and quickly tried to fix the situation. "No, no! My mother isn't sick, and I'm not leaving." Merlin turned to glare at the witch. "Morgana must have gotten her facts wrong."

Morgana's mask fractured slightly, but she tried to hide it with a laugh. "I suppose that's what I get for listening to the kitchen gossip."

"I thought you didn't listen to gossip," Merlin said stiffly.

"Well, you always have been the exception," She bit out with a fake smile.

Gwen pulled away from Merlin, and tried to break the growing tension between the two by asking, "Milady, do you know what's going on?"

Relief flickered in Morgana's eyes, and she was able to piece her mask back together now that the conversation was back to what she had expected. "I'm afraid not, Guinevere. In fact, I was going to ask if you knew…" she trailed off, her eyes drifting Gwen's waist. Merlin watched her in confusion before following his gaze to where his hand laid forgotten around his friend's waist. Merlin flushed and pulled his hand away.

Morgana's face hardened and she drew back slightly, going from friendly to regal in seconds. "Come, Gwen. Let's go find out what is happening."

Gwen glanced down at her basket. "But what about your clothes, milady?"

Morgana waved her hand dismissively. "Take them with us. They are no more inappropriate folded than they are on." She grabbed the servant's hand. "Now, come."

Merlin quickly grabbed Gwen's arm, stopping them from moving any further, and whispered in his friend's ear, " Talk to her. She'll understand if you ask for a break."

Morgana glared at him fiercely, causing him to drop Gwen's arm and step back, his hands raised in a clear sign of surrender. Her eyes narrowed before she spun on her heels and strode down the hallway, dragging Gwen along with her.

Merlin sighed and ran his hand through his hair when they disappeared around a corner. He needed to figure out when Morgause's army was going to arrive.

"Merlin, I need more gauze!"

Merlin scrambled for bandages, ignoring his bloody hands and the patients around him moaning in agony.

"We won't last long like this," he mumbled as he shoved the gauze into Gaius' waiting hands. The physician didn't say anything but the grim look stated his opinion on the matter clearer than any words. Merlin nodded anyways and went back to tending his wounded patients.

For the first time since his first year in Camelot, Merlin was worried they might actually lose the citadel. Morgause ( and Morgana , a voice whispered in the back of his head before he stamped it down) had planned the siege well, he grudgingly admitted. The castle was completely surrounded and being attacked from every weak point. Merlin knew they wouldn't last long, a couple of days, maybe, a week at the most. Unfortunately, he had a feeling there was another step to the plan that would speed up the had been incredibly shifty all night, and Merlin was willing to bet his book on magic that she was going to implement that step.

"Do we have any more clean water?"

Merlin jumped before cursing himself for not paying more attention. He turned to see Gwen standing beside him, slumped forward and clearly exhausted. Her pale yellow dress now splattered with red and pink blood stains.

He quickly nodded and handed her the bucket of water beside him. "Here, take mine. But we're going to need more soon."

Gwen nodded in somewhat of a daze as she took the bucket. She glanced at the door before whispering helplessly, "They just keep coming in ."

Merlin forced what he hoped was a comforting smile on his face, but refrained from touching her, knowing it would only stain her dress even more. "It'll slow down. Camelot has never been taken in a siege before, and I doubt it will be taken tonight."

Gwen straightened slightly, and a determined look appeared on her face which caused Merlin to smile weakly. At least somebody could take comfort in his words, even if he couldn't.

"And besides," Merlin added, trying to force himself to sound more confident, "Arthur's out there, He'll think of something to stop this."

The determination on his friend's face faltered slightly. Merlin winced.

"That… probably wasn't comforting at all. Was it?"

"No," Gwen replied stiffly before giving him a small smile. "But thank you for trying."

If anything, that made Merlin feel worse. "But it really didn't hel…" The sentence drifted to an end as his eyes scanned the room. "Where's Morgana?"

Gwen's eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the sudden change of topic. "I don't know. She was just here."

Merlin cursed under his breath before quickly mumbling an excuse to Gwen. He was already running out the door before she could truly decipher what he said, confusion and worry evident on her face if he had bothered to look back.

"Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap," Merlin said to himself as he skidded into the corridor. Where had she gone? He had only taken his eyes off her for a moment. He glanced around the deserted hallway, hoping to catch a glimpse of a skirt fluttering around a corner, but the hall was empty. Desperation fueled the gold in his eyes, and faint, shimmering footprints appeared on the stones. He silently thanked the Goddess that all the knights were outside protecting the wall as he raced after the footprints.

Minutes ticked by as Merlin followed the footprints deep into the bowels of the castle. The air felt damp and heavy in his lungs, and the castle steadily became darker with every step.

"Why would she come down here?" Merlin whispered to himself before freezing.

A strange scraping sound filled the corridor. Merlin quickly ducked into an alcove, waiting for whatever it was to pass. The strange scraping noise got louder and louder, and Merlin couldn't help but want to sink deeper into the shadows because of it. A silver blade scraping against the stone floor came into view, followed by the hilt of the sword surrounded by something white that he couldn't really make out.

Is that…? Merlin thought to himself before his eyes widened. Two long bones came into view. Ulna and radius , the physician part of his brain supplied while the rest of him reeled away in horror. Goddess, Morgana, what have you done?

The sound of the sword scraping on the stones slowly faded away, and Merlin stumbled out of the alcove. At least now he didn't need magic to find Morgana, he tried to reason with himself. Now he knew she was in the catacombs.

Whispered words slithered there way throughout the halls the closer he got to the tombs, and Merlin could see a faint bluish light coming from the room in front of him. He was running towards the door before he truly registered it.

"Morgana, stop!"

Morgana jumped in shock at the sudden noise. Merlin took her millisecond of surprise to take in the room and the wooden staff embedded into in the floor. He shied away from it immediately. There was a center darkness emitting from it even though there was a glowing blue ball of light floating above it.

He glanced back at Morgana before reeling back when he saw the sheer amount of rage in her eyes before it disappeared behind a cool, superior facade. Merlin swallowed and pushed away his own emotions but he had never been able to hide his emotions as well as Morgana. So he wasn't able to stop the horror from creeping into his voice when he whispered, "Morgana, what have you done ?"

She sneered. "I am doing what is necessary! Camelot is being ripped apart at the very seams due to that ruthless tyrant they call king! He kills anyone who has magic; men, women, children- it doesn't matter! Tell me how that's fair! Tell me how that is a mark of a great king!" Morgana spat out the words as if they personally insulted her before her eyes lightened and she said passionately, "If Uther is dead, magic will be free. People won't be terrified for lives simply because they were born with magic!"
"Do you realize the madness that will ensue if the king is killed?" Merlin asked incredulously. "A country without a king is like a chicken without its head! War would break out and many people would die- more than Uther would ever hope to condemn."

"Except Camelot will not be leaderless." She tilted her head superiorly. "I will be Queen."

"Morgana…" Merlin scrambled to get his thoughts together, unsure of what to say. Eventually, he settled on, "And what of Arthur?"

Morgana's mask fell and her features were twisted by rage. "Arthur! Arthur!" she screeched, "Arthur is as bigoted and cruel as his father yet you protect him!"
"How can you say that?" Merlin asked, aghast. "Arthur is your friend, practically your brother! He cares for you, and yet you act as if he is a monster."

"Because he would do the same to me if he knew I had magic!" Morgana cried, her fingers tightening around the staff. "He would be the first to send me to the pyre!"

"Arthur is not Uther! He wouldn't do that!" But Merlin was unsure of his words. Yes, Arthur had made some progress in accepting magic, but he still firmly believed that it eventually corrupted the castor. The warlock wasn't entirely sure what Arthur would do if he learned that one of his closest friends had magic, but he knew the prince's reaction wouldn't be good. That was one of the main reasons Merlin hadn't even hinted at his own magic since Will had died.

"We both know he's terrified of magic," Morgana sneered, "And how could I ever take a chance on him when the person I trusted most tried to kill me ."

Merlin flinched back as if he had been struck. "I never wanted to poison you, love. I had to."

"Of course," Morgana spat out, a snarl on her lips, "To save Arthur ."

"To save Camelot ," he corrected once again. "I would never choose Arthur over you."

But the words felt heavy on his tongue, and he was unsure if they were true or not.

Something flickered in Morgana's eyes but it was gone too fast for him to interpret. Still, it gave the warlock hope that he was getting through to her. Pushing on, he said, "I only poisoned you because hundreds of lives were at stake. The only way to save them was to destroy the vessel of the spell, and as much as it pained me, that vessel was you."

"How many times do I have to tell you?" Morgana ground out, "I wasn't the vessel! I, of all people, would know!"

"Are you sure?" Merlin asked shrewdly. "The spell didn't have to be performed with your consent; trust me, I checked. It could have been put on anything and then given to you. Did you eat or drink anything strange the day before? Did Morgause give you a charmed object like a necklace or bracelet? Did she do anything out of the ordinary?"

"She-she put a spell on me," Morgana whispered, her voice sounding shaky and unsure, "I thought it was for my dreams since it put me to sleep, but she was so vague , worse than usual."

Merlin pounced on the words, seeing his opening. "Don't you see what she's doing, Morgana? Never telling you what she's planning, making you do what she tells you to do, casting spells on you without your consent." He took slow, careful steps toward her as if he was approaching a wounded animal. "She's using you."

Morgana was quick to defend her sister, and Merlin knew he had pushed too far when he saw the self-righteous rage in her eyes.

"Morgause would never use me," she snarled, "I am her apprentice, her sister, her family . She loves me! The only person who has ever used me is you, Merlin!"

Merlin flinched. "Love, listen to me-"

"No!" she shrieked, "You lost the right to call me that when you tried to kill me! You lost any right you had to me when you betrayed me!"

Morgana flung her arm out. "Áwierpe!"

Merlin couldn't dodge the spell in time and was thrown backwards. He yelped when his back and shoulder collided harshly with the wall. He collapsed to the floor, clutching his shoulder and trying to will the pain away. After Morgause's impromptu torture secession and the serket sting, Merlin wasn't in the best of shape physically. He wouldn't last long in a fight, not when he wasn't even recovered from his last fight. Silently, he cursed himself for being so terrible at healing spells. He cursed out loud when he pulled his hand back and he saw the blood smeared across his palm. His stitches had reopened.

"Why are you even here, Mer lin?" she sneered, taking the way Arthur usually said his name and twisting it into something hateful, "You can't stop me. You can't even fight me! What were you expecting to do? Poison me? Sorry, I don't fall for the same trick twice."

"I was hoping to talk some sense into you," Merlin snapped as he slowly pulled himself up, "But clearly that was a lost cause."

"Ha! The idiot thinks he's making sense! Too bad Arthur isn't here; he'd be so proud," she mocked cruelly.

"Yeah, too bad he isn't here." Merlin looked her dead in the eyes before pointedly looking at the staff in her hands. "I'm sure he would have some choice words to say to you if he saw what you're doing."

Morgana visibly floundered for words, her mouth opening and closing unattractively, before proclaiming loudly, "I'm- I'm not in the wrong here!"

"Not in the wrong?!" Merlin quoted back at her angrily, "Do you know how many people have died tonight? How many will die? Morgana, right now,you are performing necromancy, one of the darkest magiks in the world, and you are telling me you are not in the wrong?! "

Surprise flickered across her face, quickly followed by disbelief. "You're lying! It's not dark magic; it's an ancient practice taught to all high priestesses!"

"I'm not lying, and this just proves my earlier point! She's lying to you; she's using you! Why else would she send you down here on a mission she knew involved dark magic without telling you?!"

Morgana shook her head, but Merlin could see the faint hesitancy in her eyes. "No, no, you're lying!" Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "How do you know so much about necromancy, anyway? It's not like you can do magic with how scared you are of it."

"If that was the case you wouldn't be a witch at all," he snapped, "Your room still has scorch marks from the last time you were scared of your magic."
He knew his words were harsh and that he had let his temper get the best of him, but he was sick of people thinking he was terrified of magic. It was a part of him and although he hid it, he never pretended to be frightened of it!

She shrieked at him, rage twisting her face into something ugly and frightening. Her magic reacted to her emotions, throwing him into the wall again and holding him there, several feet above the ground.

"I am not scared !" Morgana screamed at him, emotion completely taking her over, "Fear is a sign of weakness, and weakness is pathetic and I. Am. Not. PATHETIC! "

Merlin stared at her with wide eyes as Morgana lost all control of her magic. Her hair swirled around her as if she was underwater, her magic pressed up against him oppressively, and her eyes glowed a constant gold.

"I am not weak! I am not pathetic! I am strong! I am confident! I am a leader and a high priestess in training! I am in control! "

"Morgana, love," Merlin whispered, his voice soft but not pitying, no, never pitying, "Take a look at yourself. You're not in control."
"I am." Her voice shook.

"You're not."

" I am! " Morgana screamed at him, her magic reverberating against the walls of the catacombs, causing them to shake violently and dust to float from the ceiling. Morgana didn't seem to notice.

"Morgause is not using me; she's not manipulating me!" She spat the words out as if they personally offended her. More dust fell from the ceiling.

"She's teaching me how to be a leader, training me how to be a high priestess! She is the the only one who is truly looking out for me and doing what's best for me!"

The walls shook.

"We're working together to make Camelot a just and peaceful place for all people! Magic users won't be terrified for their lives whenever the citadel comes into view! We can bring magic back into the kingdom! I can do this; I can protect these people!"

An ominous creaking noise sounded from the ceiling.

Merlin realized what was going to happen a second too late. "Morgana, watch out!"

Her wide, confused eyes met his for a second before they disappeared behind a cloud of dust and rubble. A startled scream echoed through the room and the magic that had been holding him up disappeared.

"Morgana? Morgana!"

Merlin's eyes flashed gold and a protective shield formed around the area he knew Morgana was in an attempt to protect her from any more falling stones. When the rocks eventually stopped falling and all that was left in the air was dust, the warlock cautiously let down the shield.

Quiet coughs sounded in front of him, and Merlin scrambled towards the noise. "Morgana? Morgana, are you all right?"

Some stones shifted in front of him, allowing him to see Morgana's grey, dust-covered hair. He carefully began to pull rocks off of her, trying not to hurt her. Once she was mostly uncovered, Merlin started to gently feel her head and torso in order to make sure nothing major was broken before she swatted his hands away. "Pervert," she grumbled as she gingerly sat up, "I always knew you'd take any chance to feel me up."

Merlin glared at her half-heartedly. "You really shouldn't be sitting up. You could have broken something or have a concussion. You shouldn't move."

"And you shouldn't be an ass, but we all can't get what we want."

Merlin winced. "All right, I deserved that."

Morgana nodded smartly. "Yes, you did-" She froze for a moment when she saw something hidden underneath the rubble before she was scrambling after it, much to Merlin's distress.

"No, no, no, no, no," she mumbled to herself as she carelessly shoved stones out of her way.

"Morgana, what's wrong?"

"No, no, no, no, NO!" she moaned as she pulled the top of the wooden staff out from underneath the rubble. She rushed to find the other half and piece them together.

"Come on. Come one, please ," Morgana whispered desperately as she pieced the ragged edges together. When that didn't work, and the staff didn't magically heal itself, the witch glared up at Merlin. "This is all your fault!"

He took a step back. " My fault? That was your magic that caused part of the ceiling to fall in!"

"You bastard!" Morgana shrieked, and Merlin tried to suppress a flinch at the wording. "Morgause finally let me help, but now I've failed her, and it's your fault!" She clutched the broken staff to her chest. "Oh, Goddess, I've failed her."

"Morgana," Merlin said softly as he took a hesitant step forward. "It's going to be all right. Everything will be all right."

" Stop saying that ," she growled at him. "You. It always comes back to you." She set the staff pieces down. "Everything is your fault. If you hadn't been here this wouldn't have happened. If you hadn't have followed me the other night, Morgause wouldn't be angry with me. If you hadn't poisoned me, I wouldn't have been forced into exile for a year, and I wouldn't have lost-" she cut herself off before she finished the sentence. Merlin couldn't help but wonder what she had been going to say, but the thought quickly fled his mind when he saw the pure malice on her face. "It's all your fault."

A knife whistled past Merlin's head.

"Holy shi-!"

Merlin ducked behind a tomb, his eyes wide. He hadn't even seen Morgana throw it. The only reason the knife hadn't impaled him was because his magic had protected him instinctively. The warlock could only hope that she hadn't seen the flicker of gold in his eyes when his magic had reacted.

He heard the sound of a sword being drawn and he quickly looked around for a weapon of his own.

"Come out!" Morgana demanded. "Come out and face me!"

Making a face, Merlin reached into the tomb in front of him and pulled out a sword, noting thankfully that the skeleton had already left. The sword was old and slightly rusted but it would do in a pinch.

Taking a deep breath, Merlin abandoned his cover.

Not even a second later, he was dodging a blow from Morgana's sword. Morgana was clearly the better swordsman, and it showed. Merlin was constantly on the defensive, (which didn't say much, since he knew he could never bring himself to go on the offensive if it eventually led to him stabbing her with his sword) dodging and parrying blows to the best of his ability. But the more he defended himself, the more incised Morgana became.

"Stop dodging, and fight me! "

The words distracted him and a shallow gash appeared on his left arm. Cursing silently, he threw all of his attention into blocking the cascading blows.

Sweat dripped down his forehead.

Another cut, this time deeper, too close to his wrist; it was affecting his fighting.

Morgana's hair started swirling around her once more.

"Fight back!"

A bead of sweat dripped into his eye, momentarily blinding him.

Another cut, slicing across his stomach, but thankfully, not too incredibly deep.

Morgana's eyes burned gold.

"I said, fight back! "

Her thrusts and blows became eradicate; her physical strength failing her but her magic becoming more pronounced in the fight by the minute.

"Fight back! Fight back! Why won't you fight back!?" The last word turned into a scream of rage, her eyes becoming a purer shade of gold than ever before. The ceiling creaked again and Merlin's eyes widened in realization.

"Morgana, look out!"

He dropped his sword and grabbed Morgana's wrist to keep her from stabbing him before shoving her backwards. Her gasp of surprise was almost drowned out by the sound of the rest of the ceiling collapsing. When the dust cleared, Merlin was straddling the witch, his face so close to hers that he could see every dark fleck in her eyes. One of her hands was pinned above her head by his own, the other trapped awkwardly behind her back. Morgana's eyes were brimming with emotions and tears, and her voice shook.

"I am in control."

So what did you guys think? How'd I do with Merlin's perspective, I was kinda worried about him. Did you guys like Gwen? I wanted to start putting more characters into the story and Gwen's just a sweetheart. And all of you better not bash Morgana at the end of the chapter because emotions are completely irrational and she's totally the person to blame her problems on some else. Anyway, I hope you all liked it! Don't be afraid to comment, and kisses to all of you who have before, you're all a bunch of sweethearts, thank you!