Greetings folks, the name is Belinda and I wanted to try writing a Fanfiction, so this is my first fic. English is not my first language but I will welcome all comments and constructive criticism. I will only put up a disclaimer once in this fic and that will be now, because I personally can't stand to read the same line in the beginning of every chapter. So I hope that you will give the fic a shot and I also hope that you will enjoy it.

Disclaimer: I only own my OC and I suppose the plot is myne to since it is a AU but the rest belonges to the god George R.R. Martin.

Prologue (Cersei POV)

I remember when I was a little girl, home in Casterly Rock, running around the halls with Jamie sparring with little toy swords and listening to mother sing us to sleep. I was happy then, everything was perfect. Then that little monster came and took it all away, my mother, my brother, my perfection. After that little monster came I didn't hear my mother sing and I most definitely didn't spar with Jamie anymore, I was to angry at him for even thinking about looking at that creature.

I once asked my father at a feast for a nameday or other, if any of the lords out there would be my husband or had sons who would be. My father scoffed and looked sternly at me. „There is not one lord out there who is worthy enough for a Lannister. You, Cersei, will be queen and those fools will all bow at your feet". That sentence echoed in my head and became my life goal. From that evening I spent more and more time with the septas, grooming my self for the day the realm would bow at my feet and eventually my strong whitehaired sons.

Then Robert's Rebellion came, and that is when my final hope was crushed at becoming Rhaegar Targaryen's wife and queen. But with it came new hope, a different vision but the goal stayed the same, the realm bowed at my feet and eventually my strong blackhaired sons.

I was so happy when the announcment was made, finally, finally one step closer to my goal. Robert Baratheon was every bit the warrior the stories made him out to be, tall, dark and handsome, not to mention muscular. Kings Landing was perfect, the wedding was perfect, the crowning ceremony was perfect, the feast was perfect, I finally had the perfection that had been missing since my mothers death, back in my life. The bedding ceremony was not as perfect but that was to be expected, and there he was, my king. I was so happy all had turned out like I wanted it, that I didn't notice how drunk he was.

The bedding hurt a lot, and then I hear that wretched name tumbling from his lips in exstacy, Lyanna. Oh how I loathed the dead woman who held my husbands heart. Hearing it every time he bedded me tore away a part of my love for him and I started to dread every night, knowing he would come again. My brother Jamie, never far away and always my knight in shining armour, did his best to comfort me and evade the oncoming depression and I really appreciate his efforts, I could almost see the perfection approaching.

Then I became pregnant with Ormund, my sweet, sweet Ormund. I was so happy, mostly because now Robert could now stop comming to my bed for a time being but also because I was finally getting my strong blackhaired son who the realm would bow to. Jamie was also thrilled about the prospect of a nephew. The pregnancy was fairly easy and Robert was finally showing me the affection I dreamt about. It was perfection. The birth was painful, so painful and lasted for hours upon hours. I have never been as relieved as when I heard Ormunds shrill cries, announcing his arrival into the world.

My beautiful Ormund, with full head of thick black hair and blue eyes. I couldn't stop admiring him and only looked up when the door slammed open, crashing into the wall, its only crime being in my husbands way. „Look my king," I say as I present him his son, „Meet your son, Crown prince Ormund Baratheon, first of his name". Roberts gaze was fixated on his son as he slowly approached the side of the bed. I handed him his son and Robert held him securely. „My queen you have made me the happiest man in all the kingdoms." He said and gave me a dazzling smile.

Unfortunetly our happiness did not last long. Four days later Ormund cought a fever, and two days later the bells rang presuming him dead. I was devastated, so run by grief that it took hours to calm my cries and screams, and then it was only Jamie who could manage it. My cousins Lancel and Tyrek came to Kings Landing to squire for the king and of course offered their condolences. I could see that Tyrek could not give two shits about my sweet dead son but Lancel did and that comforted me. I walked around in black for many moons and watched Robert bring in one whore after another, even though he still bedded me now and again, I made sure to drink Moon tea afterwards, because after Ormunds death my vision changed yet again. The realm would bow t my feet and eventually my strong goldenhaired sons.

Three moons after Ormunds death I found out I was pregnant again. I was extatic knowing that it wasn't Roberts child. Jaime, Lancel and Robert were all very happy to and at the end of a very uncomfortable pregnancy I gave birth to the longed heir to the throne, Crown prince Joffrey Baratheon, first of his name and goldenhaired. Joffrey was a demanding baby, always needing attention. I was so proud to see he already commanded attention so early, he would be a quick learner.

Six moons later I find myself back in the maesters tower for an examination to confirm if I am indeed with child again. I was, and I was in seventh heaven. Hopefully it would be a demure goldenhaired girl for Joff to cherish and protect, or mabey another courageous goldenhaired boy to lead his armies and count on to always have his back in this godforsaken snakepit. Little did I know that seven moons later, at the end of the easiest pregnancy in Maester Pycelles memory, I would get the nastiest shock of my life in the form of twins.

My dear courageous goldenhaired boy and demure goldenhaired girl became two blackhaired terrors. At least in my mind. They both came awfully quiet to the world but definitely had the 'battlelungs of a Baratheon' in Roberts own words. I was in shock, how could that happen? I was so carefull with the Moon tea. Robert was bewitched by them, even more so than by my Joff and it annoyed me to no end. Joffrey was his heir, where was his attention?

„What shall we name them my king?" I ask Robert one evening when he came by the nursery to bid the twins good night. I could not find it in me to name them. And that was when the realm celebrated the birth of Prince Steffon Baratheon, first of his name and Princess Sheira Baratheon, first of her name.

To my utter dismay my Joff seemed to get along with the twins, those little devilspawns who had no thought for proper behaviour. Steffon was always running around with bastards and servants children and Sheira prefered to spar or brawl with the lowborn boys over playing with dolls and teaparties with the highborn ladies. It is deplorable and embarrassing. Robert is no help what so ever, he encourages them endlessly and for the twins third name day he even gave Steffon a miniture version of his own warhammer and Sheira, an axe. An AXE! For a three year old princess? An outrageous scandal if there ever was one.

A few moons after the twins disgraceful nameday, I gave birth to my sweet and demure goldenhaired love, Princess Myrcella Baratheon, first of her name. What a lovely child she made, never fussing or taking attention from her brother, a true princess, always thinking of others. I was so happy that I didn't care if Roberts little terrors came inside to greet my little angel, I simply ignored them. Joffrey also came and got to hold his little sister. He smiled so beautifully and it was truly a picture perfect.

A year later there was somekind of a tournament in Bitterbridge hosted by Lord Caswell and his young son Lorent. I could not go because I was heavy with child yet again, but it did not bother me I could spend time with my little goldenhaired son and daughter waiting for this one who I was sure would be another strong goldenhaired boy. Robert took the twins with him and even managed to coax that northern barbarian Stark and his wife to join him at Bitterbridge.

I am not entirely sure what happened at Bitterbridge but Sheira came home with her head bandaged all around and Steffon never let her out of his sight and even threatened my Joff when he asked why she had bandages on her head. That was the day Joffrey finally began to see what the twins really were, a threat. There were many rumours ranging from somethings ridiculous like the Seven came from heaven and slashed Sheiras face for the sins of mankind, to something plausible like she jumped into a lions pit. There were also rumours that the Caswells even lost their hands and heads for Sheira's scars.

I told Robert that he didn't have control over Sheira since she was jumping into lion pits and rolling around with pigs. Robert surprised me when he banged his fist on the table so hard that the table broke.

„Sheira did not, do you hear me? She DID NOT jump into the lions pit she was pushed! Pushed by that weakling Lorent Caswell! To think that a twelve year old boy would even think about pushing a five year old girl into that pit, more so a princess! By the Seven I was so scared, I could not even move. You know it was your father that jumped in first after we heard her screams. Your father, the Tywin Lannister, jumped head first into a lions pit to save his granddaughter. I jumped after him with your brother Jamie and Stannis right behind me. We were four agains seven lions and I could not do anything for my little girl before killing those damned lions. Little did I know that Ned had jumped after us and whisked Sheira out of the pit and to a maester. My dept to that man keeps growing. He saved my little warrior".

Roberts anger steadily decreased during his rant and by the end he was talking wistfully almost sadly. It surprised me that my father ws the first one to jump to Sheira's defence, seven hells it surprised me that he interfered at all. But a fortnight later Maester Pycelle declared her healed enough that the bandages could be removed, and what a horror that was. Long angry red lins across her face, from above her eyes and down both across her eyes and the bridge of her nose and after a long examination Sheira was declared blind and never be able to reclaim sight again. I silently rejoiced because now only one of the twins would truly ever be a threat to my gallant Joffrey.

Two moons later I gave birth to Prince Tommen, first of his name and goldenhaired. He was a very sweet boy even though a little plump. But it was perfect. I had my handsome golden prince who would one day sit on the throne, my beautiful golden princess who would secure her brothers hold on the throne and the courgeous golden prince who would lead armies nd crush any resistance who opposed his brothers claim. The only problem left being Steffon, quiet, stubborn Steffon.

As the years went by I made sure that there were a certain distance between my children and Jamie, Lancel and Tyrek, I couldn't afford any suspicion on their paternity. It worked as Tyrek really didn't care and Lancel always did as bid if it was for the family but Jamie, he could stay away from my children like they didn't matter to him but he spent more and more time with Roberts children. He taught Steffon and even Sheira the art of swordfighting and even coaxed them into learning to fight with all kinds of weapons. I could not understand why he was teaching them to fight but not my Joff. Joffrey is the oldest, he should be a priority.

As the years passed so did the kinship between Joffrey and the twins, who the common folk have come to call the Black and the Blind stags, but I so affectionately call the the Terror Twins, at least in private. Joffrey would often butt heads with the twins and of course, knowing the twins, sometimes literally. On one such occasion Joff came to me crying, with a scratch on his arm claiming that Steffon had attacked him and threatened to mke sure that Joff would never sit on the throne. I of course went straight to Robert and demanded that Steffon would be punished.

All Robert did was call Steffon to his solar and ask him what had happened. Steffon said in his quiet but striking voice that Joffrey had attacked him with a knife, threatened that he would never live to see two days of Joffreys reign and then accidently cut himself. Robert had laughed at that, clapped Steffon on his back and sent him on his merry way then proceeded to scold Joffrey. I was outraged.

One good thing that I managed to convince Robert about was that the twins were restless in the city, they could do so much more, learn much more if they were fostered elsewhere. At that point I would have welcomed sending them to the northern barbarian wasteland. He agreed with me and at the age of seven they were whisked away up north, but they did not stay there. Robert had taken my complain to heart and wanted them to learn as much from as many different people as he could. So the next few years they went back and forth from my father in the Westerlands to Stannis Baratheon on Dragonstone and even went twice or thrice up to the Eyre and the Vale with Jon Arryn on buisness. But never again up north, unfortunately, I once asked Robert why and he simply said, „I would miss them to much, and they have already went once".

No matter to me, I got rid of them for extended periods of time and I could not have been more happy. Joffrey was perfect, Myrcella was perfect, Tommen was perfect, Robert wasn't bothering me much, Everything was perfect.

Until Jon Arryn began to stick his nose where it did not belong.

Wordcount – 2448 words

Sweet – 5 times

Perfect – 16 times

Goldenhaired – 10 times

First of his/her name – 6 times

Wow, I really need to extend my vocabulary, anyway.. Peace Out!