A/N: Wrote this last December when they kept having Toy Story marathons. Found it cleaning up the hard drive. It's rough writing but I still enjoy the premise.

Fandom: Final Fantasy/Kingdom Hearts

Summary: Toy figurines meet, marry, and have kids.

Pairings: Cloud/Squall, Sephiroth/Zack, Cid/Vincent, Tseng/Aerith, Reno/Cissnei (mentioned)

Warnings: AU, OOC, Non-Canon, Homosexuality, Het, Cross-dressing, Swearing, Denzel, Marlene, and Vincent Valentine and Turks from FF7. (Vincent is Sephiroth's Father and Riku's Grandfather in my head canon.)

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this fan fiction. In certain cases incidents, characters and timelines have been changed for dramatic purposes. Certain characters may be composites, or entirely fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

XXX

KH/FF7 - Toy Story AU

(The Day After Christmas)

Denzel carelessly flung the action figure's box to land with a smack next to his younger sister playing on the floor. "I can't believe Mom screwed up SOLDIER toys with SEED. I mean SEED is so lame, even the cartoon was cancelled. You can have this one, since you're always stealing my toys to be 'boyfriends' for your dolls."

Marlene picked up the box and gazed at the male figure inside. She opened the package and drew out the plastic the toy laid in. The male had a lean figure, much leaner than her brother's SOLDIERS. The figurine had a large scar across it's face, brown hair, and blue-gray eyes.

After turning the box around, while cradling the toy in her hand, Marlene read through the toy's back story. "Squall Leonhart, SEED Mercenary Commander, betrayed by his first love and fated to die at the end of time… Well, that's a yucky story."

Marlene plucked at one of the many belts fastened around the toy's waist. "The belts are nice, but everything else looks uncomfortable. You're so pretty, Squall. Denzel's right. You're not like his SOLDIERS at all. I'll make you prettier. I'll make you the prettiest princess in the land."

xxx

(Dinnertime)

Squall fidgeted in the seat Marlene had placed him in before she had been called to dinner. His leather pants and white sleeveless t-shirt had been replaced by a long green sundress with spaghetti straps. It was meant for a much taller toy, so the back dragged if he didn't hold it up, but the top part fit just right. Thankfully, his belts and sword were included in the ensemble. His boots, however, had been lost somewhere. He flinched when a plastic garland of flowers was placed on his head.

A young lady with long golden-brown hair and sparkling apple-green eyes, settled the flower crown more securely on Squall's head, then sat back down next to him at the miniature tea-table. "My name's Aerith. I'm a healer in my video game, but I mainly like to garden. Welcome to Denzel and Marlene's Playroom."

Squall nodded a shy hello, then motioned to the huge canyon play-set located on Denzel's side of the room. "Who lives there? Are they friend or foe?"

Aerith giggled and clapped her hands. "SOLDIERS and Vincent Valentine. They are all definitely friends."

Squall yelped as a lithe figure flipped over his shoulders to land on the other side of the table. He raised an eyebrow at the posing young girl. "And you would be?"

The girl pointed a confident thumb at her flat chest. "I'm the Great Ninja Yuffie and you're on the girls' side of the room wearing a dress. Why the punishment? Did ya kick a basket of puppies in your past life?"

Squall raised his arms, looped with jingling golden bracelets. He shook them with a sigh. "You heard why. The whole room heard why. I'm not good enough. I've never been good enough. I was on the Sale shelf with three mark-down stickers before Denzel's mother bought me by mistake. I guess I should be grateful. I still have my sword and my Griever necklace."

Aerith enveloped Squall in a soothing hug. "You are more than good enough. If you weren't, Marlene would have given you back to her mother to be donated to the church. Instead, she got you out of those bulky clothes and into this beautiful silk dress. Take it as a compliment, pretty princess."

Yuffie snapped her fingers from her perch on top of the tea table. "We're going about this all wrong. Let's bring him to Vinnie!"

Aerith loosened her embrace and lightened Squall's heavy heart with a smile. "Yuffie's right. Vincent is not renowned as the Great Seer for nothing."

xxx

By using Aerith's pink sports car, the distance to SOLDIERs' Canyon was a few blinks of an eye. The climb up the plastic rock face was a different story.

Squall reached the near-top and flopped onto his back. "I've changed my mind. Church donation sounds great. Where's my box?"

Aerith sailed by and reached down to pinch a shoulder. "Just a few more steps. After you meet the SOLDIERS, you won't have to make the climb. They will usually carry you to the top."

Squall nervously stood up and righted his flower crown. "For what price?"

Yuffie nudged Squall to move with a sharp elbow to the side. "Friendship, you friggin' mercenary. We're all family here, Leonhart. Get used to it."

xxx

Reaching the top, Squall surveyed his surroundings with a small smile. If he could just get over his deeply ingrained self-loathing, he could learn to like it here.

Aerith waved Squall over to a tall red-caped figure with waist-length black hair. "Thank you, Vincent. Squall's life is full of uncertainty. Marlene's actions only confused him more. Yuffie and I hope your words could help him."

Squall shuffled over until his face was clasped between a hand and a golden gauntlet. Blue-gray eyes met mesmerizing crimson. "Wow. I can't be the prettiest princess in the land since you have the crown. Why are you on Denzel's side? Shouldn't you be on Marlene's?"

Vincent purred, pleased by the young one's comment. "I pose where I wish, but my resting place makes it convenient for my son, Sephiroth, to see me. It comforts him."

Squall swiveled to view a silver-haired Vincent look-alike staring out to the expanse. Long, lethal sword at the ready. The tall figurine stood above all poised on a shelf. "First-Class SOLDIER General Sephiroth. He was sold out by Black Friday. The whole SOLDIER toy line was sold out by the first week in Christmas. I held my faith until my box was placed on the Clearance shelf."

Vincent shook Squall's shoulders to regain his attention. "Where is your box now?"

Squall's brow creased in confusion. "The garbage dump?"

Vincent ran his hands up-and-down Squall's bare arms to help soothe his unease. "Along with your back story. Look no longer to the past for answers. Your future lies before you. Ready to be discovered and enjoyed."

Squall took a few steps back and wrapped his bangled arms around his belted waist. "To live a life of my own choosing… I have no idea where to begin."

Vincent swayed in the non-wind as Squall collapsed under Aerith and Yuffie's combined Hug of Encouragement. "Fear not, Squall Leonhart. Help is all around you."

xxx

Squall wrestled the girls off, and managed to salvage his dress, when a gloved hand connected to an extremely fit body appeared in front of his flustered face. His gaze ventured up to view spiky blond hair and serious luminescent blue eyes. "If you're SOLDIER, I can see why I ended up in a dress."

The young man took a chance and fixed one of Squall's spaghetti straps. "Cloud Strife, First-Class SOLDIER, at your service. You seemed to have trouble climbing the rock wall. With your permission, I can carry you back down to Aerith's car."

Heeding Vincent's words about personal choice, Squall raised his arms to be lifted. "Carry away. I was never one for rock climbing or descending."

Cloud picked Squall up and made a leap which plummeted the brunet's heart to his stomach. "Aerith and Yuffie are being carried down by my best friend and fellow SOLDIER, Zack Fair. They'll meet you by the car."

Squall smooshed his face against Cloud's collarbone. The First Class smelled like plastic sunshine. "I've heard the SOLDIERs' day is full of sparring and patrols. Do you think you'll be able to find the time to come visit me once in awhile? I'm not the prettiest princess with Vincent around, but I don't think I look half bad. We can be just friends, if that's all you want."

Cloud came to a halt in front of Aerith's car and partly answered Squall by coyly brushing their noses together. "Expect to see me everyday. I want us to be more than friends and I think you're the prettiest no matter what you wear."

Squall had settled himself in the shotgun seat when an odd thought occurred to him. He half-turned to view Zack giving Cloud a head noogie of joy. "Were you peeking when Marlene changed me into this dress?"

After shoving Zack away, Cloud blessed Squall with the sight of a SOLDIER with a scarlet blush. "I'm not a pervert. Shut up, Zack. It was my turn to patrol. Marlene was very careful with keeping you covered. What little I did see was perfect."

Squall snorted to himself. "Perfect. If you visit me everyday, your opinion of me will definitely change."

Watching the car drive away, Cloud murmured to himself. "Only for the better, Squall Leonhart."

xxx

First Class General Sephiroth's glowing viridian eyes missed nothing as he felt his spouse, Zack, cuddle up to his body. "Your little friend, Cloud, has found himself a suitable mate. Huzzah. Will Strife be wearing a dress at their wedding too?"

Zack wrapped his arms around Sephiroth's belly armor and rested his head between black chest straps. "To think, the Third Classes still believe you have no sense of humor. I mean you're married to me. I have enough humor for the three of us."

Sephiroth lowered his vigilance and his sword to return Zack's embrace. "Three? Will this discussion never end? Every damned Christmas… Beloved, we were manufactured to be SOLDIERs, not family men. To train, fight, and die on the battlefield. There is no place for raising a child in our world."

Zack listened to Sephiroth's steady heart. "If we followed our back stories to the letter, you would be insane and I would be dead. We also wouldn't be happily married. Luckily, being married to me, you not only get double the humor. You also get double the hope. A kid's coming our way. Just you wait."

Sephiroth brushed his lips along Zack's black spiky locks. "If you say so, love."

xxx

Vincent inwardly smiled, observing Aerith's car return to the doll house's garage. Everything he had foreseen had happened like clockwork. The playroom would continue to thrive for years to come. Time to celebrate.

Raising his arms to the circling plane above, hanging from a wire, Vincent entreated his life-mate to join him. "I miss you so much, my sky. Come love me."

Vincent's cold heart thawed when muscular leather jacketed arms hugged him from behind.

Cid Highwind's nicotine-tinged breath wafted across Vincent's cheek. "Always frisky when things go yer way. Don't tire me out too much. Gotta keep mah strength up for the grandbabies Ah see on the horizon."

Vincent wheeled around to securely grab Cid's jean-covered buttocks. "I shall do my best to keep my demons at bay, but I make no promises."

Cid's smile beamed like the sun. "Good enough fer me."

XXX

(Valentine's Day)

Aerith adjusted her flower basket and took Squall's hand. "Are you sure you'll be alright alone? Tseng and I can have our date another time."

Squall gently pushed Aerith towards her car. "Don't be silly. You're always telling me how hard it is for Tseng to escape the viewing case in Barrett's office downstairs to visit you. It's Valentine's Day. Enjoy yourself."

Aerith settled in the driver's seat and shut the door. "Yuffie's having a Girls' Night Out with Mulan, but SOLDIERs' Canyon is right over there… Oh, Squall. I'm sorry."

Squall waved Aerith's apology away. "There's nothing to be sorry for. SOLDIERs' don't have holidays. Cloud couldn't get out of patrol. At least he can see me."

Squall watched Aerith drive off, then closed the garage door. After taking the drawstring-operated elevator up, he sat out on the balcony overlooking the empty pool. "Yuffie's right. Valentine's Day sucks when you're a single person."

"Good thing you're not single"

Squall shot up, overturning his plastic chair. "Cloud! You're not patrolling. Why are you not patrolling? Are you AWOL? Wait. There is no AWOL in SOLDIER. You either retire or die."

Cloud relaxed further on the balcony fence. " I switched my patrol with Kunsel's. I can't stay overnight, but a few hours is better than nothing. Well, aren't you the brave one."

While Cloud spoke, Squall slowly swayed forward, and nestled his toned body against his boyfriend. He left a pattern of soft kisses along the SOLDIER's blushing face. "I've decided, Cloud. I hate every minute we have to be apart. I love you and I will marry you."

Cloud sagged in relief and returned Squall's heartfelt embrace. "Not like there was any pressure. I only asked you every day since New Year's."

Squall hummed, feeling Cloud laying kisses along his shoulder. "I have to make you an honest man. Vincent has foreseen our child arriving by Easter."

Cloud slid off the fence with a sigh and maneuvered Squall towards the master bedroom. "A child? Vincent may be the Great Seer of the Playroom, but he isn't always right."

Squall waved away Cloud's doubt and reclined onto the large pink bed. "I know. Don't get my hopes up. By the way, you do know Kunsel's watching us from the top of the cliff. He's not even attempting to hide. Is he even SOLDIER?"

Cloud finished undressing and flopped on top of Squall's giggling form. "Second Class. Allegedly. To tell the truth, everyone thinks he was placed in the wrong box. Don't worry. The most he can see is my naked First Class butt. Nothing new."

Squall replied by reaching over and yanking the curtain over to hide the bed and their entwined bodies. "My First Class butt! If Kunsel wants one, he can put on a dress, and get one of his own."

Cloud peppered kisses from collarbone to collarbone. "Squall, you're beautiful in that dress."

Squall clutched his hard-won SOLDIER closer. "Never said I wasn't."

XXX

(Easter)

Marlene ran into the Playroom, dropped her Easter basket on the carpet, and plopped down beside it. Ignoring the assorted chocolates and plastic eggs, she carefully picked up the white box which was the centerpiece. "Birth by Sleep Tot Accessories."

Marlene stared at the contents with a frown, then turned the box over to read. "Blah. Blah. Blah. Riku, five years old. Sora, four years old. Kairi, four years old. They aren't the main characters. What was Mom thinking? I don't even play this video game. Oh well."

Marlene's chocolate eyes wandered around the room until they rested on Sephiroth's authoritative form.

Popping up to her feet, box in hand, Marlene skipped over to her brother's most prized figurine. With a giggle, she quickly tore the box open and placed Sephiroth's miniature doppelganger in-between the warrior's long legs. "General Sephiroth, this baby's name is Riku. His utmost wish is to protect his most precious people. Sounds like a chip off the old block. Teach him well, so he can take care of you in your old age."

Twirling around, Marlene renewed her search, while holding the other two figurines in her hands. The destroyed box lay forgotten at her feet. "Of course!"

The little girl scampered over to her beloved dollhouse. With a triumphant smile, Marlene positioned the petite girl toy on Aerith's lap and the little boy on Squall's lap. "Babies for everyone!"

"Marlene! Play with your dolls later! This ham isn't going to eat itself!"

"Coming, Mom!" With a content sigh of a job well done, Marlene stood back up and returned downstairs to Easter dinner.

XXX

Zack had to grit his teeth, observing Marlene settle his new baby boy in front of his husband. He climbed the shelves in record time, only to be met by Masamune barely missing his nose. Holding his hands up, he shined love towards his glowering mate and wide-eyed son. "Don't be this way, Angel. I'm not gonna hurt him. He's my baby too. Hey, Riku. Don't be scared. I'm your Daddy."

Sephiroth lowered his sword, allowing Zack to scoot forward and hug mother and child. "How did I get to be Mommy?"

Riku climbed Sephiroth like a tree and held on like a silver-haired monkey. "I look like you, so you have to be my Mommy. Don't you want to be my Mommy?"

For this one instance, Sephiroth allowed his emotions to show for all to see. A lone tear was swiftly kissed away by Riku. His shaking form hugged tighter by Zack. "More than you will ever know."

XXX

Aerith cradled a softly singing Kairi close. Her happiness somewhat eclipsed with worry. "Tseng and I never spoke about children. What if he doesn't want to be a father?"

Squall stopped twirling around with a laughing Sora in his arms and sat back down. "Then you'll be twice the parent. Why don't you ask him yourself?"

Twisting around to view Tseng run up, Aerith's face showed her surprise, while her arms cuddled Kairi closer to her body. "Tseng! How were you able to get out of the case? The family room is full."

Tseng dragged a spare chair over with a serene smile. "With Vincent's premonition, my fellow Turks planned this temporary escape for me for weeks. If she wasn't meant for us, I would still be able to see you. Good thing Vincent was right. Kairi, is it? How's my baby girl? Oh, she's already carrying flowers like her Mommy."

Kairi waved her bouquet from her vantage point. "Hi, Papa! I like it here. Mommy's soft and she smells nice."

Tseng nodded with a chuckle and reached for his little princess. "I quite agree. I still have a limited amount of time. Let me hold her."

To Tseng's consternation, Aerith shook her head. "I'm not ready to let her go just yet… but you can hold us both if you want to."

To Aerith's relief, Tseng did just that.

XXX

The spiky-haired blond made his appearance by quintuple-somersaulting from his observation point to land right next to a surprised Sora and beaming Squall.

With a stern expression, Sora stood in a ready fighting stance. Tiny fists at the ready. "Get behind me, Mommy. I'll protect you. You won't hurt my Mommy!"

Glad Sora couldn't see his quivering smile, Squall placed his hands over his little son's fragile shoulders. "It's okay, Sora. Cloud is your Daddy and he uses that big sword for his work."

Sora dropped his fists and hugged himself. His big blue eyes refused to meet his father's amused ones. "'m sorry, Daddy."

With a light-hearted laugh, Cloud clapped his sword to his back, knelt to one knee, and opened his arms to his new baby boy. "Come here, Sora. Don't ever apologize for protecting your Mommy. I've been worried about who would protect him while I was at work."

Sora jumped into Cloud's arms and squeezed tight. "Count on me, Daddy."

XXX

(Thanksgiving)

Reno shifted his weight from foot to foot. "Hurry up, Valentine. Tifa's not gonna sleep forever. Rude and I have to get her phone back into her purse before she wakes up, yo."

Vincent confirmed the purchase with the credit card number Tifa always forgot to delete, closed the order, then cleared the phone's history. "Done and done. Ready yourself, Reno. In a month, you're going to be a father of a wily red-haired boy. Teach him well in the ways of the Turk. He shall make you and Cissnei proud."

Reno fell to his knees with a lost look. "Whattya doin' Vince? Cissnei's gonna be aces as a Mom, but I got no business raisin' anything, especially a junior Turk."

Vincent brushed Reno's cheek and helped the shocked Turk up with Rude's help. "You are the best person to raise a Turk. When in doubt, rely on Cissnei's guidance. Hurry up now. This phone will not return to Tifa's purse by itself."

Reno jumped up, and grabbed the end of the phone, while Rude took hold of the other end. "Once a Turk, always a Turk. Gonna be in your debt forever, Valentine."

Vincent patted Reno's shoulder and observed the pair scamper away. "Raise your son with love. This is all I ask."

Cid Highwind appeared as soon as the pair flitted out the playroom door. "Whut have you been up to, Ex-Turk?"

Vincent continued to gaze at the Dollhouse across the way. Sora, Riku, and Kairi played in the pool, while Squall nervously supervised. "I was selfish, for once. I ordered a wish come true for me. If you desire to remain an absent husband, I shall raise her by myself."

Cid swore and shook his head. In a blink, he appeared in front of Vincent. The pilot cupped the soothsayer's troubled flawless face. "Fer a Great Seer, you sure are blind as a bat. I'll take whatever ya got to give me. So whut do ya got to give me?"

Vincent ran his fingers through Cid's hair. "My daughter's long locks are the shade of the sun and her eyes are the color of the sky. A true Highwind. Our little girl will arrive by Christmas."

Cid whooped and twirled Vincent around. "You give the best presents, Vince. Merry Christmas to me!"

Vincent's forehead crinkled in thought, when Cid set him back down. "I finally took the time to read your character's back-story online. There's nothing listed about teleportation. You're merely a rocket scientist."

Cid kissed Vincent right between the crinkle. "Ain't no merely about it. Ah'm Cid Highwind, rocket scientist. Cid Highwind can do anything!"

Vincent ran his hands across Cid's firm chest. "Such humility. Our child's humbleness is assured with you as a role model."

Cid rocked his love to-and-fro. "Damned straight."