You had me at hello

Pairing: Sanvers

Rating: T

A/N: As I said, I wrote this to survive and cope with my feelings till the next episode. Also because I feel so inspired by this ship and this didn't happen in a long time. English is not my first language, so I'm sure there are mistakes and for them I'm sorry.

I wanna thank my cinnamon roll friend midnightwriter for reading this and listening to me being all crazy and stuff ^^

Chapter One

I lie to my heart cause I thought you felt it

You can't light a fire, if the candle's melted

No you don't have to love me if you don't wanna

(…)

Unkiss me, untouch me, untake this heart

And I'm missing just one thing

A brand new start

(Unkiss Me, Maroon 5)

When Maggie pushed her lightly away after she kissed her, Alex knew something was wrong. Even though her heart was pounding forcefully and her lips were still tingling by the soft feel of the other woman's, Alex knew she made a mistake. And while Maggie explained to her, while Maggie was being her always supportive and truly amazing self, Alex didn't hear a thing. She was just too focused in not breaking down right there in the middle of the bar. So when Maggie finished, when she said "friends", this beautiful word which turned to be brutally painful in the context, Alex left.

Friends… Alex knew she didn't want to be just friends with Maggie Sawyer, now she knew… She had all figured out and even spoken out loud to her sister "I just like her so much", it felt like a confession that made it all real. Once the words were out of her mouth, Alex knew her feelings couldn't be shoved down anymore and she couldn't ignore it any longer.

Now Alex felt more than heartbroken, more than rejected… She felt humiliated, because for Alex Danvers to go and just kiss another woman on the lips, it took her a lot of something she wasn't used to at all. Alex kissed Maggie and Maggie pushed her away.

The very first time Alexandra Danvers kissed someone actually wanting the kiss to happen, actually feeling like you're supposed to feel when kissing another person, was a complete fiasco. It was her first real kiss. And it hurt like hell.

You know, Alex didn't fail. Alex was always perfect in everything she did. When she thought of it all scientifically, she was sure Maggie liked her. The proofs were in the way Maggie's eyes lightened up whenever Alex were around, were in the way she smiled so sincerely at Alex, in the way her body responded to the mere presence of Alex in a room and even in the way they talked. Because they flirted all right -a lot, they teased each other and it seemed like Maggie really enjoyed being close. For those reasons Alex kissed her, it was so obvious!

But apparently it wasn't, Maggie didn't kiss back. Maggie didn't like Alex like that. She wanted to be friends… And these feelings of humiliation and failure were new, scaring and made Alex wish she had never let herself access those shoved feelings in the first place. She made a mistake.

The agent saw herself at her apartment, she didn't even know how she ended up there, but she was grateful for the bottle of whiskey she had stocked. Alcohol wouldn't make things better, but would definitely numb the pain.

When her phone rang, Alex ignored it. Fuck Maggie, fuck the DEO, fuck Kara or anyone else, she wasn't available at the moment. Alex Danvers was busy dealing with her own devastation, with her own internal mess and for once in her life she didn't care if the word was being invaded by all the bad aliens in the galaxy, she needed time and alcohol.

When Kara knocked at her door, Alex wished she hadn't. Of course her sister could see her inside and that was just infuriating, because having an alien sister didn't even give Alex the chance to suffer alone like she wanted to. Then Kara used the window to get in and started making questions. Alex knew she was just worried, but still, she lost it.

She was so frustrated and angry, so mad at herself for thinking she actually could succeed in dating, when she obviously couldn't. So when Kara asked, Alex told her to forget about everything. Maggie didn't like her and she felt so humiliated she couldn't breathe.

The next morning, Alex woke up and Kara was there lying beside her. She smiled, because her sister stood there for her. She heard Alex curse to just offer her sweet words in return, she saw Alex sob to just hold her through it, she watched Alex get drunk to just lead her to bed and embrace her until she fell asleep. And now that her thoughts were clearer, Alex knew she wasn't alone and didn't have to bear through it all by herself. She's got Kara and the girl was literally Supergirl! It was going to be hard, but it didn't have to be a lonely journey.

"I can hear the wheels in your head turning, Alex", Kara said as she smiled and opened her eyes.

"That's just because you have super powers", Alex replied with a hint of a smile.

"True," Kara smiled again and searched for her sister's eyes "How are you feeling?"

"Like I've been knocked down by an alien… But I'm glad you're here."

"I told you you didn't have to be alone, Alex, and I meant it. You won't be… And I'm not letting you shut down this part of yourself anymore, you're facing it. We're facing it together."

Alex had tears in her eyes; the feeling of being so supported and understood was overwhelming.

"But why does it have to hurt so much, you know? If this is who I really am, why don't I feel relieved? Why don't I feel like you felt when you come out as Supergirl? I don't get it, Kara."

"Well, unlike me, you had your heart broken… But what happened with Maggie doesn't have anything to do with who you really are. You feel like you feel not because of Maggie, Alex… She may have helped you to notice things, she may have woken your feelings up, but just because things didn't work out with her, it doesn't mean they can't." Kara took her sister's hand in her own and kissed it sweetly. "You deserve to find love, Alex. You deserve to be happy and I'm not going to sit here and watch you broke the promise you did to me."

At this, Alex cried and hugged her sister so tightly she was glad she wasn't human, "I'm so lucky to have you, Kara…"

"I'm the lucky one. And now's time for us to care for you for a change, okay?"

Alex let Kara go and smiled weakly, "Thank you".

"And if you want me to kick Maggie's ass to space, you know I will, don't you?"

They both laughed and Alex dried the tears from her face "You won't have to, I'm gonna give Maggie the Alex Danvers treatment and she's not gonna like it."

"I'm already sorry for her, you can be really, really mean, I can tell!"

Alex gave Kara a threatening glare and her phone ringed somewhere in the living room.

"Kara, we've gotta go."

"Okay, we're going… Is everything ok?" Alex looked frightened.

"I'm not sure I can handle working with her today… I'll be fine, but today's just too soon."

Kara smiled sympathetically "Don't worry, Alex. You'll go get the alien, I'll get the girl."

And they laughed loudly as they made themselves ready for another day of work.

Thank you for reading, let me know what you think :)
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