"Give that bitch a cannon. Bitches love cannons." -Alucard, Hellsing Abridged Series

"Dog goes woof, cat goes meow. Bird goes tweet... Canon goes boom-boom."- Pretty much every AU fanfic out there

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Disclaimer: HP, OHSHC, KHR... Nu, still no own any of that. Do I look as rich as J.K. Rowling to you? No, now shoo.

Author's Note: Hello, dear FFnet people! Welcome to yet another HP/Ouran fanfiction by moi. This is a little different from everything I've done before mostly because it involves a character that's pretty much a sideline. Yes, I'm talking about Kanazuki Reiko from OHSHC, or as I like to call her, the lucky-bitch-who-only-appeared-in-one-chapter-and-cameo'd-in-a-few-others-but-somehow-ended-up-as-Honey-senpai's-wife. And I have Harry reincarnated into her, hence making canon universe go boom-boom. And if y'all don't like the idea, well. *In old crochety voice* "Git off my lawn, ye young whippersnappers!"

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Warnings: Harry Potter/Ouran elements with a dash of the KHR world. OC's at start. Gender/existential confusion from a baby in this chapter.

Prologue

"Umehito-kun," a soft, clear voice interrupted. "You're not bothering the Host Club, are you?"

Everyone looked up.

She was petite and lovely, straight blue-black hair pinned with orange blossom clips and an angelic smile playing on her lips. Moving with effortless grace, her expression was mildly amused as she took in the rabble within the Host club. Her uniform indicated that she was just in middle-school but the air around her spoke of a high-born lady and the rest of the boys couldn't help but stand in attention at her presence.

The president of the Black Magic club swiveled, waving Belzeneef in agitated apology. "Ah, Reiko-chan. Suoh-kun summoned me here. It seems my presence makes him nervous still."

"Talking like that would make anyone nervous," Reiko said, stopping beside the part-Russian boy and covering his pale face more firmly with the black cloth. After making sure the cooling charm on it was still intact, she turned to Tamaki and the others, bowing. "I apologize for my president's actions. He's just… enthusiastic."

Kyoya smiled, waving away her apologies with a nod. Mitsukuni bounded forward cheerily, honey brown eyes intent.

"No harm done, Reiko-chan! Maybe you'd stop by at the Host Club once in a while? With Neko-kun, of course."

Kanazuki Reiko, formerly known as Lord Hadrian Potter, smiled back at the third-year, emerald green eyes flashing with humor. She tested the thin red string tying her finger to his. "Of course, Haninozuka-san."

CHAPTER ONE

"What… what are you doing?!"

"My job."

"Hey, stop! That soul's memories haven't been removed yet!"

"I know. Orders from the higher ups."

"…oh. But isn't he..."

"Mn…"

"Why?"

"No clue. Not our division."

That conversation was the last thing Harry Potter heard before he was sent to this new world.

The idea that a bunch of normal-sounding entities just shoved his soul in a new body with memory intact gave him an existential crisis, but other than that he was focusing more on the fact that he was freakin' reincarnated.

What was he supposed to do with that?

No, really.

What?

What the hell can he do?

Was this some new bullshit prophecy? Did Voldemort somehow rise from the dead, like the evil cockroach he was, and cooked up this scheme to make him miserable? Or was this some stupid hang-up from the Deathly Hallows since those three miserable trinkets just. Wouldn't. Leave. Him. Alone?!

If the answer was any of the above mentioned then Harry had to give the instigators props for originality because he was about to tear his head off.

This 'being little' business was torture! Worse than the Dursleys!

The world was a blurry mess, he couldn't keep her eyes open for too long, and he was irritated about the littlest things!

Like being moved around.

Or hearing loud voices.

Or being wet, down there.

Or just everything in general, everything pissed him off!

Crying his displeasure was his only stress-reliever and he didn't care if whoever was looking after him got stressed too. They could suffer with him. And if they got fed up and strangled Harry to death well, hey ho, great solution all around.

Because yes, it was that awful.

Heck, was he still even a he?

It felt like he was enclosed in a tight, dark space, unable to move on his own, unable to see or understand or even just think properly. His mind was a jumbled circus and Harry wondered what kind of karmic retribution was this.

Then suddenly, everything just clicked.

One day, he could blink. Harry took a deliberate lungful of air and realized that yes, he was awake. That he was actually aware that he was awake. He could wiggle his toes and clench his jerky fists and feel the soft thump thump sound of his heart in the silence. There was movement above him and he burbled at its direction, inordinately pleased when warm hands plucked him gently from his crib and rocked him back and forth.

"What's got you so happy today, my love?" a deep, masculine voice asked softly.

Harry made a tiny chortling sound.

What made him so happy was that he could now see. No more fuzzy shapes or blurred images, no sir! His new eyes were somewhat clear and everything was new and bright. He hoped he had 20/20 vision this time around.

"It's nice to see you smiling, my little girl. Pouting all the time wasn't good for you."

Little girl. Well that answered his gender crisis. Great, he lost his nuts. He was going to grow breasts- Well... That part didn't sound so bad. Eh, he'd deal with it later. Or rather, she would deal with it later. Thank you for the information, deep soothing voice.

'And if you were the one looking after me,' Harry telepathically conveyed. 'Sorry for all the hassle. I didn't ask to be shrunk and you didn't ask to be screamed at, so we're even. Let bygones be bygones, capiche?'

Harry blinked a few times, still cooing. The person rocking her back and forth was quite the looker, very handsome. Was he a model or something? He looked young, somewhere in his mid-twenties, with silky copper-colored hair and deep gray eyes that gazed at her with fondness. In fact, Harry was reminded of an older Cedric Diggory, only more Asian-looking and infused with veela genes.

Was this Harry's new father?

"Come here, Reiji! My baby's smiling! Mommy wants to see her!"

Mommy?

"You couldn't wait to pass her over when she was being a little terror." Reiji said, but Harry felt herself being set down on a soft thing again. Her crib maybe?

The scent of lilies hit her nose and Harry blinked at the smiling woman above her.

"There's my baby," she said softly. "Hello, little duchess."

Harry stared.

Oh. Woah.

If her new dad was veela Cedric Diggory, then her new mom was a Cho Chang enhanced a million times. She was a pale-skinned beauty with striking hazel eyes and ruby red lips. Long raven-blue hair so straight (like the models in those commercials), and beautiful symmetrical features. Her features looked sharp and refined, like a princess in one of those Asian movies Hermione secretly liked to watch.

Hermione...

Both adults panicked when tears sprouted from her eyes, but Harry couldn't help it. The sudden thought of her sister in all but blood made her realize that she would never see her family again. It dawned on her that this was real, this was happening.

She (He?) was a new person now. She was this couple's new daughter.

Her parents were more distressed over the fact that she cried so silently, unlike before when she would wail out angry sobs. It took her a while to calm down, but soon she was hiccuping into her new father's chest, easing into a distressed sleep.

Harry woke up to a different ceiling.

Soft, yellow light bathed her eyes and she was sure she was not in her crib anymore. She could feel warmth beside her and tilted her head ever so slightly, sniffing that nice lily scent from earlier.

Oh.

Her (His?) new parents brought her to bed with them. Her sleeping mother was the source of warmth she could feel earlier. Her face was close enough that she could see her long, thick lashes and unblemished pale-peach skin. She looked so young like this, barely adult enough to have a baby. Was Lily Potter this young when she had Harry?

"Awake, Reiko?"

She snuffled in shock, limbs kicking involuntarily. Peeking up, she could see her new father dressed in deep blue nightclothes, hair slightly wet. Like her mother, he looked awfully young and unguarded up close. She pursed her lips in disapproval.

Her new father smiled almost boyishly and tickled her toes. "I swear you're listening to everything I say, little duchess. My baby's a smart girl, aren't you?"

Little duchess? Where did that come from?

Harry scrunched her nose at him and her father laughed. "You look like your mother when she's about to hit me with something pointy. Like that dagger she loves to throw around."

Wait what?

Her mother loved to throw what?

Before she could process that thought, the familiar sensation of being lifted up distracted her and she found herself snuggled into her father's chest. She assumed he was taking her somewhere outdoors because she could smell sweet breeze wafting through her nose. She burrowed into his warmth, content. Harry had hated to be touched as a child, because touching meant beatings or slaps from Uncle Vernon or Aunt Petunia, but this...

"Such a quiet baby you've turned into," her father hummed. "But there's nothing wrong with you, not physically anyway according to Tiziano. If he made an error…"

The air ominously stilled. Deadly. She shivered in shock.

"Ah, what's wrong little duchess?" her father said worriedly and everything was back to normal again. "Did you think I was angry?"

More like sensed it. No, Harry literally felt it. What the heck was that? Whoever this Tiziano guy was, he better run for the hills.

"I'm glad you're not crying at least." He nuzzled her cheek. "Your mother was so worried earlier when you cried, she thought you were suffocating."

What-

Ah…

The mention of her earlier episode made her somber and she slowly slumped on her father's chest, not wanting to alarm him with sudden movements. It worked, and he thought she was asleep, rocking back and forth.

In his (her?) new father's arms, Harry sighed. It was so hard to believe but there was no other explanation for this. He really had been reincarnated.

But how did he die in the first place?

'Well...' a gusty sigh.

Harry might have an idea how.

When he and Hermione tracked down the Potter ancestry, they found out that Charlus Potter, Harry's grandfather, died in his sleep. From magical fatigue, the healers reported. He had been a robust, active wizard but the stress from the Grindelwald war, his duties to the Wizengamot, and raising his heir with another looming Dark Lord had been too much for the man, according to many. One day he was hale and healthy as a horse, then next he was being wept over by his grieving wife and son.

Hermione had been skeptical by the findings and had traced Harry's line even further. She found out that Charlus's case wasn't a rare occurrence and that the Potters had a history of infants who suddenly died during their first year of living and adults who go to sleep only for them to never wake up again, regardless of lifestyle.

'Sudden death syndrome,' Hermione explained. 'It can be inherited.'

But whether it was because of magical fatigue, sudden death syndrome, or some mysterious reason linked to the Peverells due to their connection to Death, one thing was only clear.

The same thing happened to Harry.

He suppose he had to be thankful. His death was quick and painless. He had just closed his eyes and felt a brief tugging sensation, stared at his dead body in surprise for a second (as if it was still alive, just asleep), then, bliss…

Harry didn't know how long he stayed in that perpetual state of nothingness, but then he heard those voices talking, felt himself fall, then, panic…

'The panic I felt was my mind trying to adjust,' Harry thought. This new body had been born months ago, but only gained awareness now.

Harry wondered about what would happen to the people he left behind now that he was dead. Teddy had Andromeda, his cousin Draco, and Narcissa. He already had a will that left everything he ever had to his godson and his grandmother. A few personal things were left to his friends but the gold he amassed, the properties and businesses he worked hard to put up, and the title of Lord Potter and Black would be left to his pseudo-son. Hermione and Ron had each other along with Rose and Hugo, and Neville had Luna.

The rest of the British Wizarding world would no doubt go into mass hysteria at the loss of their Boy-Who-Lived. Rita Skeeter (who was also another roach-that-wouldn't-snuff-it) would churn out her usual garbage. He could imagine the headlines right now; "Harry Potter: Hoax or Hero?". And his tomb would most likely be turned into a public monument, much like his parents' cottage in Godric's Hollow. But they could all go hang. He could rest easy, knowing that everyone he cared about had someone to lean on in their grief.

Harry was thankful that the memories of his past weren't as vivid anymore, blurred around the edges, as if he hadn't lived it but watched it instead. He could still remember facts and theories and ideas from years of learning at Hogwarts, and later at college, but it felt like it was in the backburner, hovering at the edge of his mind, waiting to be used. He could feel the rush of affection as he imagined the smiling faces of Hermione, Ron, Andromeda and Teddy. But the grief felt dull, as if it happened years ago and Harry had coped with the loss already.

Harry didn't know why he was pulled out of that blissful peace after he died. He had lived his life properly, didn't he deserve rest? He only wanted to see his parents, and Remus and Sirius but he couldn't even get that. So why...

"Our little Reiko," Harry's baby eyes opened at the soft murmur. Reiji's eyes were bright, brimming with so much fierce love that Harry felt his heart ache. "My daughter, our little miracle... We love you so much. You can be anything or anyone or any gender," Here, he chuckled. "Your mother would just find it an excuse to cosplay anyway." Reiji paused and pressed a kiss on Harry's forehead. "But no matter what, you're here and you're breathing and you're ours. For as long as you live, little duchess. That's a promise."

Harry felt his breath stutter.

Oh...

Was this why?

Is this rebirth... For him?

Harry never knew anyone who wanted him solely for him. James and Lily died early. The Dursleys didn't care. Ron first came to him because he was famous, Hermione because he saved her from a troll. Sirius loved him, but he chose revenge over his own godson's safety. The Wizarding world wanted a hero. Dumbledore wanted a sacrifice for his prophecy. Teddy adored him but he would never be first to his godson, as Andromeda filled that space. And while Harry understood and rallied and kept quiet, it hurt that he had never been regarded as first, never been loved just for who he was. As just Harry.

Looking into her father's warm smile, Harry thinks that it might no longer be true anymore.

Because Harry was now Reiko.

And Reiko's parents loved their baby, no matter what.

Even if Reiko was secretly Harry.

They loved their child anyway.

Harry sniffed, heart hammering, and that was enough to trigger tears. She burbled out a laugh when her father panicked, chest aching further at the genuine distress in his face. She was sad, she was happy but most of all, Harry felt loved. She took deep breaths, a few hiccups leaving her mouth as she snuggled further into her father's warmth.

It was a new start for Harry then. A new start as Reiko.

Not a new page, not a new chapter.

She was starting a whole new book with blank sheets and fresh ink.

And, she thought as her father continued to sway back and forth, she was making the most of it.

Believe it.

Unbeknown to father and child, a dark, looming figure coalesced by the shadows, invisible to all but one. Its unseeing eyes were directed on the tender scene as the shadows wavered for a moment. Then a facsimile of a smile formed in its lip-less mouth as it whispered hoarsely.

"Good luck, little Chosen of Mine and Magic."

Author's Note: Yes, the he/she part was confusing, mostly because Harry is still trying to adjust. Mind you, I'll be referring to Harry as 'Reiko' and 'she' from now on, unless in special circumstances. Questions? Violent reactions? Review right down there. It's all open space.