Binding

This is post episode 5, after Yuuri proudly declared that for the first time there was one person he wanted to hold onto. Which was Viktor. What events could follow after Yuuri's speech? Will Viktor take it as a love confession?

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Now that the euphoria of his winning the Japan FS Championship had died down, and especially after he made that overwhelming declaration that he would prove his love by winning a gold medal at the Grand Prix with the power of his love, Yuuri finally realized that what he had said at the press conference could easily be misconstrued as a love confession.

Uh huh. A romantic love confession.

Urghhhh. Yuuri seemed to pale somewhat, after realizing what the effect of what he had done could be.

He, in fornt of a crowd, in front of Japan, had just said his theme was love. For the person that he wanted to hold onto in his life. If someone were to analyze it, there wasn't even a more romantic love confession than that.

Well, he did say this love that he had wasn't as clear cut as a romantic one. And even if he wanted to hold onto Viktor, he actually didn't know what kind of an emotion it really was. Except that he just accepted it as something akin to love.

Man, he was so confused. Why did he run off his mouth like that?

"I'm home!" he called out. He wished Viktor wouldn't tease him too much. And that Viktor wouldn't take everything he said seriously.

As always, their inn had a few customers this early afternoon. Yuuri's parents greeted him cheerfully. Hiroko, his mom, carrying a bowl of steaming miso soup for a customer said, "That was a wonderful speech, Yuuri you made on TV. I was moved!"

"Uh, yeah, M-Mom..." Yuri replied, trying hard not to look mortified.

An old man sitting on a zataku table eating his afternoon snack raised his hand, "Well done, young man! Do your best in China!"

Some other guests of the inn echoed the old man's sentiments, congratulatng Yuuri cheerily.

Somehow, Yuuri was beginning to relax. "T-Thanks, everyone!" he said.

Back in his room, as he was changing clothes, he took a moment to reflect on all the crazy things that happened in the past few months, starting from when Viktor suddenly barged into his life and gave it color.

Gave it meaning.

Yuuri put the scarf around his neck. What he felt for Viktor, as a coach, as a - someone, was it really not as clear cut as he was saying it was? At this point, even Yuuri did not know.

It was September now, and the Cup of China would be held in two months. If he failed to win that, or if he failed to win anything at all, that meant his time under Viktor's tutelage would be over.

And Viktor would be going back to Russia.

At that moment, Yuuri felt a bit of air escaping his chest, and he couldn't help but sit down on his bed for a moment. If Viktor left now, would Yuuri be able to accept that? Would he be able to let go?

He fell on his back, there on the bed, and for some reason, he felt as his face was heating up. He grabbed a pillow to cover his face, screaming silently onto the fabric. This feeling of wanting to tie Viktor to him, it was all because he wanted to win the skating competion, right?

There was no other meaning.

There shouldn't be.

xxx

As Yuuri closed his door, being prepared to run outside for his daily jog, he caught sight of the gray haired 5-time World FS champion himself coming out of his own room.

All at once, when Viktor saw him, his face broke into a deep smile. "You're back, Yuuri. Let's go to the onsen!"

Uhhh, maybe now's not a good time, Yuri thought, considering he had been having all these chaotic thoughts inside his head about his coach, about his career and what would be left of it when Viktor truly finally had to leave. "Uhm, I gotta run, Viktor."

"Oh, wow. You just got back from the presscon. Aren't you going to get a rest?" Viktor looked a little worried.

Yuri averted his gaze. "I'm fine. I have a lot of energy to burn, I guess."

The Russian coach hmmed, putting a forfinger on his lips, and looking up, a sign that he was thinking carefully about something. "Okay, I know! I'll join you on your jog."

Eeeehhh! Yuuri's shoulder sagged. He needed a bit of space right now, and Viktor sticking close to him would not help him in trying to sort out his feelings.

But Viktor, being the most oblivious carefree Viktor that he was, probably had no clue the emotions Yuuri was bottling inside.

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Viktor rode on his bike ahead of Yuuri, as per usual. The younger man jogged calmly behind. They made a few rounds in the area, until in the end, Yuuri found himself running by the beach side, the spot where he first had a heart to heart talk with Viktor before, when he admitted that he did not like to appear weak to others.

And that Viktor was the last person he wanted to know his shortcomings.

But what had Viktor said at that time? That he wasn't a weak person, and that any one who knew him would not have thought that.

I love him.

Yuri gasped, and screeched to a halt on the sand he almost fell.

Viktor, who was cycling ahead, stopped too and turned to hm quizzically. "Yuuri, is everything alright?"

Trying to catch his breath, Yuri nodded, waving a hand. "I'm fine. Uhm, yeah, I think, we've covered enough distance now, right? Do you wanna head back?"

"Aww, but you've been running for so long. Let's sit by the beach and rest first, okay? You're going to get cramps if you run too long without resting at least."

At first, Yuuri thought to say no, right now, he despeartely wanted his own space. But if he appeared too contrary, Viktor might find that something was amiss. Better play it cool. "Yeah, sure."

Sitting side by side, with Yuuri careful to make an appropriate distance between them, they relaxed and listened to the soothing sound of the ocean waves.

Yuuri's head was turned to the side so he really wans't looking at his coach. When he glanced at Viktor, he found the Russian man softly looking at him, a small smile on his lips. Yuuri tried to smile, too, but he was feeling so awkward, he blushed instead.

And then he hid his face on his bent knees.

He knew. He knew his face was beet red right now.

One look from Viktor and he could get all hot and bothered like this.

Please please please don't notice...

"Yuuri?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you mean what you said at the press conference a while ago?" Viktor asked gently.

"WHAT?" Yuuri snapped, looking up.

Viktor was still smiling dazzlingly at him. "I watched it."

"Um, yeah... It was ah - "

"Does the love you feel really make you stronger?"

At this Yuuri panicked and jumped up, waving his arms forcefully, "No no no no! You got it wrong. I really didn't mean it like that! It - it was - um, it's not like love, like love of - uhh... No, it's not."

The smile faded from Viktor's face.

Yuuri went on, "It was just, you're my idol. I still can't believe you're here to inspire me and you made everything feel so different - exciting. I've looked up to you for years! With you by my side, I know I can skate like I can win. I know I can! You inspire me, you motivate me, and - and - "

"But why do you call it love? You can easily say your theme is inspiration or motivation. Could be passion. Passion for skating. Why love?"

"Because!" Yuuri shot back. "Because... I - " He deflated. " I really- I don't know... but it's not love like I want you to be my boyfriend, okay? Like, uhmm, that's stupid, right?"

Yuuri watched as something changed in Viktor's eyes. The brightness had disappeared. He smiled again, but this time, it looked forced. "Of course, Yuuri."

Slowly, the Russian man stood and dusted his back side. "Well, I think we have rested enough. Let's go back home, shall we?"

Viktor went to his bike and smiling again, took off slowly, allowing Yuuri to catch up to him.

Could Yuuri be mistaken, but Viktor had looked crushed, disappointed.

Why would that be?

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Gotta sleep for now. Will be posting the second one as soon as I can. My other fic, Set my Heart on Fire is based on the series, so I'd be posting chapters after I get enough ideas from the episodes coming out and have my own interpretation of them.

But for this one, I think the 2nd one will be the end. Hope you'll look forward to it. Thanks!