The Misfits vs. The Viper
Chapter 7: Craig and Wanda! The date from a challenge!
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Paul and Craig Starr, aka Starchild and Darkstar, the Sensational Starr Brothers, were sitting on a couch in the home of the GI Joe codenamed Recondo. Craig was scowling, watching TV. Paul was sitting next to him, smiling like always. He was reading the letters the X-Men sent him, and a laptop was on his lap. He was writing a response as well.
"Cheer up, Craig!" Paul said. "Here, read one of my letters." Paul handed the letter Scott wrote to Craig. The raven-haired thug read it, and he shook his head.
"Cyclops must think up a more original way to kill you besides blasting you with his beams." He then read the letter Gambit sent. "Now, in Remy's case, I must give him points for originality. I never thought anyone could do that with a rubber chicken and a tractor."
"Yeah." Paul shrugged. "The guys really don't like me for some reason. Anyway, check out this letter Tabby sent." Paul handed Tabby's letter to Craig. Darkstar's eyes bulged when he read it.
"I knew she wanted you, but I didn't know she wanted you THAT bad!!" Craig turned to Paul, eyes still wide.
"Don't look at me." Paul shrugged, laughing a little bit. "I'm writing a letter back."
"I noticed." Craig looked at the screen. "Oh, the average stuff. How you doing, that kind of thing."
"Yeah." Paul looked at the time on the corner of the screen. "Better get into that penguin suit, bro. It's 7:30." Craig didn't listen. He put on a pair of headphones and was listening to a song. Paul stared at Craig for a couple minutes and sighed. "You don't wanna do this, do you?"
"What?" Craig took off his headphones. "Huh?"
"You don't wanna go out with Wanda, huh?"
"Got that right. This is ridiculous. I lose a lousy pool game and now I have to dress up."
"Relax. It'll be great."
"What if it ends up like Todd and Althea's? You know, the others spying."
"It won't happen. I'd never spy on you, bro." Paul said.
"You better not." Craig grumbled, running upstairs. "I wish you never took that tux from the clubhouse."
"You need it." Paul said loudly. He then put down the laptop and ran to the stairs. "Need my help?"
"No." Craig grumbled, going into his room with the tux. Paul patiently waited until he heard a familiar voice a few minutes later. "AAAGH!!!" Starchild smiled.
"He'll never admit it, but even he needs help with things." Paul grinned and ran up the stairs, eager to help his brother. He ran into Craig's room. The door had a plank across on it that had "Darkstar's lair. Enter and Die!" scrawled in black spray paint. It was a very, well, dark room. The walls were painted black, with some graffiti Craig added with spray paint, and patches of brick-pattern. The whole motif for it was a dark alley. The furniture, a bed, dresser, and a desk, looked somewhat junky, and a couple spare tires were in a corner. Paul looked around, but saw no sign of Craig.
"In here, stupid!" Craig snapped. Paul ran to his own room. Unlike Craig's room, Paul's room was bright and cheery. His door had a golden star on it with "Paul" in purple letters, like the dressing room door of a real movie star. The walls were painted purple with white and black paper stars everywhere, as well as posters of Kiss on the wall. Paul's furniture was bright and colorful, and he had a rack full of classic rock CDs, the top few were Kiss CDs. Next to his bed, on a small desk that had a lamp, was a framed picture of Tabitha with a red lipstick mark on it. Craig was standing in front of a mirror in the inside of his closet door. Paul had to admit, Craig looked very handsome in a tux.
"You look great!" Paul gave a thumbs up. Craig snorted.
"Yeah, yeah." Craig fumbled with the bowtie, but he couldn't tie it. "Of all the lousy...GAAH!!!" Craig threw the black tie on the ground. "Stupid tie!" He stared down at it with a glowing eye. "Lousy thing! I can't tie it." Shaking his head, Paul picked up the tie before Craig could blast it. The self-proclaimed superstar held it for a moment.
"Let me do it. I've had to do fancy dress stuff before." Paul showed Craig how it was done by explaining it as he tied it. "Okay! Let's see how you look." Paul turned Darkstar to the mirror. Paul then decided a Billy Crystal impersonation was in order: "You look marvelous!" Craig drooped his head.
"Where can I take Wanda? I've never been on a date."
"No one wanted to date you." Paul laughed. "Relax, bro. I did some checking around with Flint's help. He said that there was this really nice restaurant where he took Lady Jaye one time. It's right near here. Check it out." Paul handed a brochure Flint gave him to Craig. Darkstar seemed very wary to accept any idea that Starchild had.
"I dunno." Craig read the brochure. "This is nuts! I don't even speak French! I don't even like half the stuff they call food!" He then glared at a snickering Starchild. "You're up to something. You are up to something!"
"C'mon Craig..." Paul put his arm around his brother's shoulder. "I just wanted your first date to be memorable. It's Wanda's first date as well, bro."
"Yeah, yeah." Craig then remembered one detail he knew would stump Paul. "How will I get her there?" Unfortunately for Craig, Paul had an answer for that, too.
"Use your Starcycle, bro. She can borrow my helmet." Paul grinned. Craig grumbled. Paul seemed to get him at every turn.
"Nuts." Craig growled. "Let's get downstairs before someone sees me." Craig quickly went down the stairs, but Recondo saw the ex-gang member, along with Jinx. Jinx had visited to check up on the Starr twins.
"Craig, you're lookin' great!" Recondo laughed. Jinx giggled.
"Wanda'll think you look absolutely adorable!" Craig got angry. He hated it when people looked at him.
"I hate you guys." Craig scowled.
"Hey..." Jinx patted Craig's head. "No need to have a bad attitude. I think it makes you look rather distinguished. Now if only I could get Logan into a tux."
"Here, he can borrow mine." Craig, all too happily, started to take off his jacket, but Paul stopped him.
"Nope." Paul shook his head. "You are wearing it, and that's final." Paul decided to have a laugh by impersonating Robin Leach: "Tonight on Clothes of the Mutated and Bad-Tempered, we have the foul-mooded Craig Allman Starr clad in a tux that screams street attitude and debonair style."
"Okay Robin, we get the point." Craig grumbled. He then sighed. "I hope Wanda likes it." Craig thought.
"She probably can't wait to get you out of it." Paul quipped telepathically.
"STARCHILD!!!" Darkstar snapped.
"Anyway, it's almost time. Get your cycle, bro. Wanda's waitin'." Paul laughed.
"Grrr." Craig left the house, but not without hearing some advice from Jinx.
"Don't you two get too frisky now." The ninja waved.
"Yeah." Craig answered. "That coming from a woman who made out with Wolverine in a closet." Darkstar added under his breath. Craig walked over to a beautiful black motorcycle parked in front of the house. It was a sleek motorcycle, looking like a cross between a Harley and a Kawasaki Ninja, with purple and silver trim and highlights. Next to it was a matching motorcycle, only the black and purple were reversed (The mostly- purple bike is Paul's). The headlights for both motorcycles were in the shaped like 5-pointed stars. Craig leapt on and started it. He put on his helmet, a black helmet with an adjustable window. The helmet was decorated by a purple stripe running along the center from front to back, with a smaller white stripe in the center and purple stars on the stripes (Naturally, Paul's helmet would be exactly the same, but the purple and black was reversed). Craig took Paul's helmet, and rode off.
"Good luck, bro!!" Paul waved. Craig rode across the Pit to the Delgato house. There, he saw Althea and Toad.
"Where's Wanda? I just wanna get this stupid date over with." Craig growled.
"Nice tux, yo. You look like a bad-tempered penguin." Toad joked.
"I've had enough of penguins today." Craig grumbled.
"I'll tell Wanda you're here." Althea ran upstairs to get Wanda. Todd and Craig watched her go up.
"Good luck, yo." Todd said.
"Whatever." Craig responded in a monotone. He then saw Althea walk down the stairs.
"Ta-da!" Althea motioned upstairs, and Wanda walked down. Her hair was done up, and she had on a bright red dress with matching shoes. The dress was sleeveless and slits going up to midway up the upper legs. She had on long red gloves which reached halfway up her upper arms. Craig's jaw dropped under his helmet, and he started blushing.
"Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh..." Craig stammered. Todd smirked.
"Caught ya by surprise, huh?" Todd laughed.
"I had a feeling Craig would get his socks knocked off." Althea grinned, putting a hand on Wanda's shoulder. Wanda looked at Craig rather shyly.
"Shall we go?" Wanda asked. Craig handed her the helmet, with Todd's help. Toad knocked on Craig's helmet and the ex-gang member snapped out of his trance.
"Put on the helmet. Hang on tight." Craig said simply. Wanda put on the helmet and jumped on the motorcycle.
"Hey don't get too frisky, huh?" Todd laughed. Craig started his bike, flipping Todd the bird.
"Be nice, Craig." Wanda laughed. Darkstar muttered under his breath. Scarlet Witch laughed as Craig rode off. Toad and Wavedancer watched them leave. They looked at each other evilly.
"Lance! Xi! Fred! Pietro! C'mon!" They ordered. The other mutants jumped in Lance's jeep.
"What about Paul?" Xi asked.
"He's got stuff to do." Lance said. "He's gotta respond to the love letters the X-Geek Girls sent."
"Hey, I'm here to make sure that Craig don't try anything with my sister." Pietro crossed his arms.
"Don't worry." Fred held up a camera. "I'll film it for Paul."
"Everybody ready? Let's go!" Lance started the jeep and they drove off in the direction Craig took. Meanwhile, Darkstar and the Scarlet Witch were riding off in Craig's Starcycle.
"Where are we going?" Wanda asked Craig.
"Someplace Paul and Flint recommended." Craig sighed. "Some fancy place that Flint took Lady Jaye to."
"You mean that French restaurant?" Wanda asked.
"Yeah." Craig sighed. "I just wanted to go to McDonalds."
"I'm banned from there." Wanda said. "I got real mad at Pietro in a McDonalds."
"Let me guess. He threw ketchup." Craig smirked. "I once lost my temper in a mall because lot of people were looking at me. I trashed a couple stores and beat up a mess of security guards."
"Why do you hate it when people look at you?"
"Personal." Craig said. "It's a personal thing. I don't like people in my space."
"That would explain why you took an instant dislike to Xavier." Wanda reasoned.
"I don't dislike him, just don't trust him." Craig admitted. "I don't trust telepaths. I don't want my mind invaded. I believe the mind is the only real private place left on Earth."
"Yeah. You do have a point." Wanda agreed. She noticed something. "Craig...You never were this willing to talk to anyone before about deep stuff."
"I dunno." Craig shrugged. "I guess it's just something about you. The fact that we both have had lived most of our lives alone. As well as the fact we both have stupid twin brothers." Craig saw the restaurant come up. "We're here."
"Pietro is stupid, but I think Paul's just a little crazy, that's all." Wanda shrugged. When the motorcycle stopped, a valet ran to the bike. Craig quickly threw off his helmet and ran to the red-vested man, wishing to get in his face.
"Don't touch my bike, punk." Craig warned, holding up a fist. Wanda sighed and took off her helmet. She then adopted a look of amazement on her face as she saw where Craig took her.
"Wow, Craig! I didn't know you had it in you." Wanda smiled. Craig blushed.
"Can we go in?" Craig sighed. They walked into the fancy place, and it was well-decorated. It had marble statues, fine music playing, and even a huge fountain. "Next time, I'm eating at a sports bar. At least the drunks are entertaining."
"I think I'll join you." Wanda sighed. What the two failed to notice was that the other Misfits, except for Paul, were there, hiding in the bushes.
"God, I hope nothing goes wrong." Althea sighed.
"I have a feeling that Craig's gonna curse out someone." Todd snickered. True to it, he did. Craig and Wanda walked in, and a man said he'd seat them.
"Whaddaya mean?!?" Craig snapped. "There's empty tables!!! Why can't we just pick one?!?!"
"Monsieur..." The greeter tried to calm him down.
"Don't 'mon-sewer' me, pal!" Darkstar snapped louder than before. "I lost a bet! I had one heck of a day! So the least you can do is move your stupid French self outta my way now!" The hot-tempered teen growled. The amazing thing was that Wanda didn't seem to mind Craig's outburst. The greeter then noticed Craig's birthmark.
"Monsieur, you will have to remove the makeup." Craig got really steamed. Despite this, he miraculously kept quiet about the fact that the star on his face was a birthmark.
"NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, FRENCHY!!!! WHAT I PUT ON MY FACE IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!! IF YOU DON'T MOVE YOUR BUTT OUT OF MY WAY, I WILL KICK YOUR TEETH ALL OVER THIS PLACE!!!" Wanda giggled at Craig's outburst. Craig whipped around, glaring. She put on an innocent look. The frightened greeter let the two walk by. Wanda picked a table near a window. They sat down, and Craig pulled on his tie. "God, I hate this thing. I feel like I'm getting strangled."
"I don't exactly like the formal gear, either." Wanda said. "I like dresses, just not wearing them."
"I wish we could go to a fast food joint." Craig sighed. He saw a waiter walk up to the two and hand them menus. Both Wanda and Craig were confused. Neither of them went through anything really formal before. They took the menus and read them.
"What the heck is this?" Craig snapped.
"Ze menu." The waiter talked to Craig like he was a retard.
"I can't understand half of this stuff! Do I look French to you?" Craig started yelling.
"Can we just have some hotdogs?" Wanda scratched her head. The lack of English in the menus were frustrating both Darkstar and the Scarlet Witch.
"I know what I want." Craig said. "Gimme a cheeseburger."
"Cheeseburger?" The waiter asked.
"What's the matter? You no speak-a the English?" Craig mocked loudly. "You retarded? I want a cheeseburger! Ch-eese-burrr-ger." Craig scowled. He was in a bad mood ever since the date started, and this clown was not helping him. "Beef patty, slice of cheese, ketchup, lettuce, and onions in a bun! I'm sure one of those chefs can whip up something that simple! They can do freaky things with Jell-O!"
"Vhat do you mean 'freaky things with Jell-O'?" The waiter asked. Darkstar ignored the remark.
"And gimme a Coke." The waiter snorted.
"Americans." He said.
"Ahhh, go jump off the Eiffel Tower!" Craig jumped up angrily. "And tell the chef this stuff sounds like fancy dog food! I'm outta here!" The waiter stomped back to the kitchen.
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"DOG FOOD?!?!" The head chef screamed in rage. He then grabbed a meat cleaver, murder in his eyes. "I'll show him dog food! I'll make him into dog food!!" The chef tried to run into the dining hall, but the other chefs and the waiter were holding him back.
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"Oh no!" Althea said.
"C'mon Craig." Wanda laughed. "I'm having fun. I thought it was funny the way you mouthed off that waiter."
"I'm not enjoying this place." Craig undid his tie. "I'm gone." He walked to the door, Wanda behind him.
"That Craig!" Toad growled.
"I knew it!" Pietro raised his arms. "That Starr can't keep his temper under control! He's as bad as Claws!"
"I dunno. I think he had it under control." Lance shrugged. "He didn't kill anyone."
"Did you have a good OW!!" Craig walked past the greeter, giving him a punch in the nose. He walked to where the bike was, but found it was gone.
"Where's my bike!" Craig looked around. Wanda was on his heels. Darkstar found the valet he warned getting off his bike after parking it, and the street thug got steamed. "I told you not to touch my bike!!" Craig ran up to man, intent on beating the red-vested kid senseless.
"Look sir, I was just parking it! I have to! It was in-" He didn't get to finish. Craig punched him, then started stomping on him.
"Craig, knock it off! Let the guy go! Let's get out of here." Wanda suggested. Darkstar sneered at the valet, nursing his side and bloodied nose.
"You got lucky." Craig and Wanda jumped on the bike and went to a drive- thru at a fast food joint. They got food there. They then drove to a nearby beach. Craig parked the bike and he and Wanda jumped off. The others remained in the bushes. The two did some walking on the sand. Scarlet Witch hand to go barefoot, but she didn't mind.
"Not the best date in the world, huh?" Wanda asked Craig. Darkstar shrugged.
"Hated the restaurant. Remind me to kill Paul when I get back." Craig grumbled.
"I dunno. I think they needed cheeseburgers." Wanda laughed.
"Sorry I lost my temper. Just that..."
"All that stuffiness?" Wanda asked, smiling. "Yeah, I don't blame you. I hated it myself, to be honest."
"How does anyone do it?" Craig groaned.
"Don't ask me." Wanda shrugged, removing her gloves and hanging them on her shoulder. "It's a little warm out here."
"Mmm." Craig agreed, taking off his jacket and holding it over his shoulder. "Might as well sit down and eat this stuff."
"Might as well." Wanda agreed, sitting down. Craig handed her a bag of food and they munched the burgers and fries they got. Craig looked in his bag when he saw how the moonlight reflected off Wanda's face. He couldn't help but blush. Unfortunately, Wanda caught him. "You look like you got sunburned."
"Uhm..." Craig was at a loss for words. "Uh...whatever." Craig quickly hid his face. Wanda giggled.
"Craig's keeping his hands to himself. Wise move." Pietro glared from afar, in a bunch of bushes.
"Watch where you sit, Petey." Lance groaned. "There's a sharp piece of driftwood near you."
"What if they catch us?" Xi worried. "Knowing their tempers, they will not be pleased."
"Don't worry. Althea and I cooked up a contingency plan." Toad whispered into Xi's ear.
"Y'know, Craig. I love looking at the stars." Wanda said.
"I never really did." Craig looked up and stared. "I don't really see what's so special."
"Really?" Wanda looked confused. "I mean, you've never wondered what's out there?"
"After being around you people, I lost my curiosity." Craig sighed, stuffing some fries into his mouth. "Besides, the Joes know about aliens and such stuff. We got a spaceship in the Pit for crying out loud. Why bother wondering?" Craig then started muttering something about Paul and a golf club.
"Why are you mad at Paul?"
"Because that idiot brother of mine recommended that French place." Craig tried not to lose it. "Flint helped him. Ever since I got back from the Viper bit, I've been teased and the butt of jokes by the Joes. Tripwire and Short Fuse wrote a poem about it for God's sake! I'm glad Shipwreck doesn't know, otherwise I'd be really mad!" Darkstar fired his laser at the sky in rage.
"Paul was only trying to help, Craig." Wanda said. "He does love you, you know."
"I wish he didn't care so freakin' much." Craig sighed.
"You do. You just don't want to admit it, Craig." Wanda said. "I bet he's wondering what we're doing right now."
"He'd know. He's the charmer." Craig groaned.
"I dunno. I think you're charming in your own way." Craig blushed at the comment.
"Really?" Darkstar thought for a moment. "Paul's the one the girls love. I mean, I dunno why. He's insane."
"He's cheerful, he's happy-go-lucky, he's always smiling and he loves to have fun." Wanda shrugged. "Not to mention he is incredibly charismatic and he has a presence about him."
"Don't tell me you're falling for him too!" Craig groaned. "It's bad enough the X-Girls all have crushes on him. I mean, they fight over him constantly! If he talks on the phone, you hear them screaming 'Paul is mine!' constantly in the background! The X-Men are so jealous, last time he visited, Gambit nearly took a chainsaw to him!" Wanda laughed.
"Yeah, I remember. Remy looked like a rabid dog." Wanda snickered. "You envy Paul, huh?"
"No, I don't!" Darkstar snapped. "I mean, why would I wish to be like Paul? He looks like an 80s rocker, he's hyperactive, he's so cheerful all the time!"
"Paul grew up in a rich family." Wanda reminded. "He had everything, but he isn't spoiled." Craig's face told her she did have a point.
"Yeah." Craig agreed. "He didn't fit my idea of a rich kid. I thought rich kids would be snooty, brown-nosing, self-centered jerks. Instead, Paul is rather down-to-earth. Even though his dreams are rather lofty. Starchild's a good-hearted guy." Craig then looked down at the sand. "I guess I do envy him a little bit. I guess I just act the way I do to him to mask it. I really envy Paul. There are times when I do wish I could've been a little more like him, you know?" Craig softened up, something he very rarely did. "I wish I could look on the bright side all the time like he does. I grew up alone and in gangs. I never was loved. Paul was." Wanda saw something extremely rare, something only Paul had seen before. A small tear rolled down his eye.
"You are loved, Craig." Wanda scooted closer and put an arm around Craig's shoulder. "Paul loves you. He's your brother. Nothing can change that. I guess it's the same with me and Pietro. True, Quicksilver can be an egomaniacal jerk, but I still do love him."
"They say twins have a special link, beyond those of ordinary siblings." Craig said. "I guess that's true. I guess the reason why Paul feels so great about everything is because he knows he has a family."
"Yeah." Wanda agreed. "It is. Paul may not show it, but I guess he envies you."
"Me?"
"You are the tougher of the two. You also are the more streetwise one." The other Misfits watched them. Even though they couldn't hear what Wanda and Craig were saying, they knew something happened. Suddenly, Pietro moved, forgetting about the sharp piece of wood near his butt.
"YEEEOOOOOWWWWWWCH!!!!" Quicksilver leapt out of the bushes, holding his butt and jumping around like a headless chicken. "OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!!!" Scarlet Witch and Darkstar saw him, and they were not too happy to see the speedster.
"PIETRO!!!" They both yelled.
"Let's go!" Todd whispered. He, Althea, Lance, Fred, and Xi disappeared. A growling Craig's eye glowed and Wanda charged up a couple hex-bolts.
"How long were you there?!?!" Craig snapped at a scared Pietro.
"Knowing him, he was spying the whole time." Wanda glared. Pietro smirked.
"But I'm not alone!" Quicksilver laughed. "Lance, Althea, Xi, Todd and Fred are...here?" Pietro turned around and found the others were gone. "Guys?" He looked around the bushes in a panic. "Guys? Guys? Fellas? Oh no..."
"A likely story!" Craig yelled. "If they were there, they would've shown themselves!"
"I guess Pietro hasn't learned his lesson." Wanda readied her arm to pitch a hex-bolt. "I guess we'll have to teach him not to spy on people while they're dating." Craig's eye glowed purple, his laser ready to fire.
"Let's talk about this." Pietro backed away as Craig and Wanda advanced on him. "Look! I'm sorry! Please! Don't do this! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MOMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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"Are you sure it was a good idea to abandon Pietro?" Xi asked in a worried manner as the others went back to the Delgato house.
"Don't worry about it, Xi." Blob reassured. "He's used to Wanda beating the living bejesus out of him." In the distance, the Pit heard girly screaming.
"WAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MOMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT THE FACE!!!!! NOT THE FACE!!!! OWWWWW!!!!!!" The other Misfits burst out laughing.
"Man, if I were back in the Brotherhood House when Pietro was in charge, I'd say that he got what he deserved, yo." Toad chuckled. "Too bad Paul couldn't join us."
"Mr. Happy-go-Lucky had love letters to answer." Lance smirked. "Let's watch the tape."
"Let's not tell Craig or Wanda we were there either." Althea suggested. The others nodded their heads. Meanwhile, Pietro was running back to the Pit at super speed, screaming and dodging hex-bolts. Wanda was throwing them. She and Craig were chasing him on Craig's Starcycle.
"I'll get those guys. I'll really get them back!" Pietro thought as he ran for his life.
Well, looks like this little adventure is over! See you around soon!
Chapter 7: Craig and Wanda! The date from a challenge!
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Paul and Craig Starr, aka Starchild and Darkstar, the Sensational Starr Brothers, were sitting on a couch in the home of the GI Joe codenamed Recondo. Craig was scowling, watching TV. Paul was sitting next to him, smiling like always. He was reading the letters the X-Men sent him, and a laptop was on his lap. He was writing a response as well.
"Cheer up, Craig!" Paul said. "Here, read one of my letters." Paul handed the letter Scott wrote to Craig. The raven-haired thug read it, and he shook his head.
"Cyclops must think up a more original way to kill you besides blasting you with his beams." He then read the letter Gambit sent. "Now, in Remy's case, I must give him points for originality. I never thought anyone could do that with a rubber chicken and a tractor."
"Yeah." Paul shrugged. "The guys really don't like me for some reason. Anyway, check out this letter Tabby sent." Paul handed Tabby's letter to Craig. Darkstar's eyes bulged when he read it.
"I knew she wanted you, but I didn't know she wanted you THAT bad!!" Craig turned to Paul, eyes still wide.
"Don't look at me." Paul shrugged, laughing a little bit. "I'm writing a letter back."
"I noticed." Craig looked at the screen. "Oh, the average stuff. How you doing, that kind of thing."
"Yeah." Paul looked at the time on the corner of the screen. "Better get into that penguin suit, bro. It's 7:30." Craig didn't listen. He put on a pair of headphones and was listening to a song. Paul stared at Craig for a couple minutes and sighed. "You don't wanna do this, do you?"
"What?" Craig took off his headphones. "Huh?"
"You don't wanna go out with Wanda, huh?"
"Got that right. This is ridiculous. I lose a lousy pool game and now I have to dress up."
"Relax. It'll be great."
"What if it ends up like Todd and Althea's? You know, the others spying."
"It won't happen. I'd never spy on you, bro." Paul said.
"You better not." Craig grumbled, running upstairs. "I wish you never took that tux from the clubhouse."
"You need it." Paul said loudly. He then put down the laptop and ran to the stairs. "Need my help?"
"No." Craig grumbled, going into his room with the tux. Paul patiently waited until he heard a familiar voice a few minutes later. "AAAGH!!!" Starchild smiled.
"He'll never admit it, but even he needs help with things." Paul grinned and ran up the stairs, eager to help his brother. He ran into Craig's room. The door had a plank across on it that had "Darkstar's lair. Enter and Die!" scrawled in black spray paint. It was a very, well, dark room. The walls were painted black, with some graffiti Craig added with spray paint, and patches of brick-pattern. The whole motif for it was a dark alley. The furniture, a bed, dresser, and a desk, looked somewhat junky, and a couple spare tires were in a corner. Paul looked around, but saw no sign of Craig.
"In here, stupid!" Craig snapped. Paul ran to his own room. Unlike Craig's room, Paul's room was bright and cheery. His door had a golden star on it with "Paul" in purple letters, like the dressing room door of a real movie star. The walls were painted purple with white and black paper stars everywhere, as well as posters of Kiss on the wall. Paul's furniture was bright and colorful, and he had a rack full of classic rock CDs, the top few were Kiss CDs. Next to his bed, on a small desk that had a lamp, was a framed picture of Tabitha with a red lipstick mark on it. Craig was standing in front of a mirror in the inside of his closet door. Paul had to admit, Craig looked very handsome in a tux.
"You look great!" Paul gave a thumbs up. Craig snorted.
"Yeah, yeah." Craig fumbled with the bowtie, but he couldn't tie it. "Of all the lousy...GAAH!!!" Craig threw the black tie on the ground. "Stupid tie!" He stared down at it with a glowing eye. "Lousy thing! I can't tie it." Shaking his head, Paul picked up the tie before Craig could blast it. The self-proclaimed superstar held it for a moment.
"Let me do it. I've had to do fancy dress stuff before." Paul showed Craig how it was done by explaining it as he tied it. "Okay! Let's see how you look." Paul turned Darkstar to the mirror. Paul then decided a Billy Crystal impersonation was in order: "You look marvelous!" Craig drooped his head.
"Where can I take Wanda? I've never been on a date."
"No one wanted to date you." Paul laughed. "Relax, bro. I did some checking around with Flint's help. He said that there was this really nice restaurant where he took Lady Jaye one time. It's right near here. Check it out." Paul handed a brochure Flint gave him to Craig. Darkstar seemed very wary to accept any idea that Starchild had.
"I dunno." Craig read the brochure. "This is nuts! I don't even speak French! I don't even like half the stuff they call food!" He then glared at a snickering Starchild. "You're up to something. You are up to something!"
"C'mon Craig..." Paul put his arm around his brother's shoulder. "I just wanted your first date to be memorable. It's Wanda's first date as well, bro."
"Yeah, yeah." Craig then remembered one detail he knew would stump Paul. "How will I get her there?" Unfortunately for Craig, Paul had an answer for that, too.
"Use your Starcycle, bro. She can borrow my helmet." Paul grinned. Craig grumbled. Paul seemed to get him at every turn.
"Nuts." Craig growled. "Let's get downstairs before someone sees me." Craig quickly went down the stairs, but Recondo saw the ex-gang member, along with Jinx. Jinx had visited to check up on the Starr twins.
"Craig, you're lookin' great!" Recondo laughed. Jinx giggled.
"Wanda'll think you look absolutely adorable!" Craig got angry. He hated it when people looked at him.
"I hate you guys." Craig scowled.
"Hey..." Jinx patted Craig's head. "No need to have a bad attitude. I think it makes you look rather distinguished. Now if only I could get Logan into a tux."
"Here, he can borrow mine." Craig, all too happily, started to take off his jacket, but Paul stopped him.
"Nope." Paul shook his head. "You are wearing it, and that's final." Paul decided to have a laugh by impersonating Robin Leach: "Tonight on Clothes of the Mutated and Bad-Tempered, we have the foul-mooded Craig Allman Starr clad in a tux that screams street attitude and debonair style."
"Okay Robin, we get the point." Craig grumbled. He then sighed. "I hope Wanda likes it." Craig thought.
"She probably can't wait to get you out of it." Paul quipped telepathically.
"STARCHILD!!!" Darkstar snapped.
"Anyway, it's almost time. Get your cycle, bro. Wanda's waitin'." Paul laughed.
"Grrr." Craig left the house, but not without hearing some advice from Jinx.
"Don't you two get too frisky now." The ninja waved.
"Yeah." Craig answered. "That coming from a woman who made out with Wolverine in a closet." Darkstar added under his breath. Craig walked over to a beautiful black motorcycle parked in front of the house. It was a sleek motorcycle, looking like a cross between a Harley and a Kawasaki Ninja, with purple and silver trim and highlights. Next to it was a matching motorcycle, only the black and purple were reversed (The mostly- purple bike is Paul's). The headlights for both motorcycles were in the shaped like 5-pointed stars. Craig leapt on and started it. He put on his helmet, a black helmet with an adjustable window. The helmet was decorated by a purple stripe running along the center from front to back, with a smaller white stripe in the center and purple stars on the stripes (Naturally, Paul's helmet would be exactly the same, but the purple and black was reversed). Craig took Paul's helmet, and rode off.
"Good luck, bro!!" Paul waved. Craig rode across the Pit to the Delgato house. There, he saw Althea and Toad.
"Where's Wanda? I just wanna get this stupid date over with." Craig growled.
"Nice tux, yo. You look like a bad-tempered penguin." Toad joked.
"I've had enough of penguins today." Craig grumbled.
"I'll tell Wanda you're here." Althea ran upstairs to get Wanda. Todd and Craig watched her go up.
"Good luck, yo." Todd said.
"Whatever." Craig responded in a monotone. He then saw Althea walk down the stairs.
"Ta-da!" Althea motioned upstairs, and Wanda walked down. Her hair was done up, and she had on a bright red dress with matching shoes. The dress was sleeveless and slits going up to midway up the upper legs. She had on long red gloves which reached halfway up her upper arms. Craig's jaw dropped under his helmet, and he started blushing.
"Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh..." Craig stammered. Todd smirked.
"Caught ya by surprise, huh?" Todd laughed.
"I had a feeling Craig would get his socks knocked off." Althea grinned, putting a hand on Wanda's shoulder. Wanda looked at Craig rather shyly.
"Shall we go?" Wanda asked. Craig handed her the helmet, with Todd's help. Toad knocked on Craig's helmet and the ex-gang member snapped out of his trance.
"Put on the helmet. Hang on tight." Craig said simply. Wanda put on the helmet and jumped on the motorcycle.
"Hey don't get too frisky, huh?" Todd laughed. Craig started his bike, flipping Todd the bird.
"Be nice, Craig." Wanda laughed. Darkstar muttered under his breath. Scarlet Witch laughed as Craig rode off. Toad and Wavedancer watched them leave. They looked at each other evilly.
"Lance! Xi! Fred! Pietro! C'mon!" They ordered. The other mutants jumped in Lance's jeep.
"What about Paul?" Xi asked.
"He's got stuff to do." Lance said. "He's gotta respond to the love letters the X-Geek Girls sent."
"Hey, I'm here to make sure that Craig don't try anything with my sister." Pietro crossed his arms.
"Don't worry." Fred held up a camera. "I'll film it for Paul."
"Everybody ready? Let's go!" Lance started the jeep and they drove off in the direction Craig took. Meanwhile, Darkstar and the Scarlet Witch were riding off in Craig's Starcycle.
"Where are we going?" Wanda asked Craig.
"Someplace Paul and Flint recommended." Craig sighed. "Some fancy place that Flint took Lady Jaye to."
"You mean that French restaurant?" Wanda asked.
"Yeah." Craig sighed. "I just wanted to go to McDonalds."
"I'm banned from there." Wanda said. "I got real mad at Pietro in a McDonalds."
"Let me guess. He threw ketchup." Craig smirked. "I once lost my temper in a mall because lot of people were looking at me. I trashed a couple stores and beat up a mess of security guards."
"Why do you hate it when people look at you?"
"Personal." Craig said. "It's a personal thing. I don't like people in my space."
"That would explain why you took an instant dislike to Xavier." Wanda reasoned.
"I don't dislike him, just don't trust him." Craig admitted. "I don't trust telepaths. I don't want my mind invaded. I believe the mind is the only real private place left on Earth."
"Yeah. You do have a point." Wanda agreed. She noticed something. "Craig...You never were this willing to talk to anyone before about deep stuff."
"I dunno." Craig shrugged. "I guess it's just something about you. The fact that we both have had lived most of our lives alone. As well as the fact we both have stupid twin brothers." Craig saw the restaurant come up. "We're here."
"Pietro is stupid, but I think Paul's just a little crazy, that's all." Wanda shrugged. When the motorcycle stopped, a valet ran to the bike. Craig quickly threw off his helmet and ran to the red-vested man, wishing to get in his face.
"Don't touch my bike, punk." Craig warned, holding up a fist. Wanda sighed and took off her helmet. She then adopted a look of amazement on her face as she saw where Craig took her.
"Wow, Craig! I didn't know you had it in you." Wanda smiled. Craig blushed.
"Can we go in?" Craig sighed. They walked into the fancy place, and it was well-decorated. It had marble statues, fine music playing, and even a huge fountain. "Next time, I'm eating at a sports bar. At least the drunks are entertaining."
"I think I'll join you." Wanda sighed. What the two failed to notice was that the other Misfits, except for Paul, were there, hiding in the bushes.
"God, I hope nothing goes wrong." Althea sighed.
"I have a feeling that Craig's gonna curse out someone." Todd snickered. True to it, he did. Craig and Wanda walked in, and a man said he'd seat them.
"Whaddaya mean?!?" Craig snapped. "There's empty tables!!! Why can't we just pick one?!?!"
"Monsieur..." The greeter tried to calm him down.
"Don't 'mon-sewer' me, pal!" Darkstar snapped louder than before. "I lost a bet! I had one heck of a day! So the least you can do is move your stupid French self outta my way now!" The hot-tempered teen growled. The amazing thing was that Wanda didn't seem to mind Craig's outburst. The greeter then noticed Craig's birthmark.
"Monsieur, you will have to remove the makeup." Craig got really steamed. Despite this, he miraculously kept quiet about the fact that the star on his face was a birthmark.
"NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, FRENCHY!!!! WHAT I PUT ON MY FACE IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!! IF YOU DON'T MOVE YOUR BUTT OUT OF MY WAY, I WILL KICK YOUR TEETH ALL OVER THIS PLACE!!!" Wanda giggled at Craig's outburst. Craig whipped around, glaring. She put on an innocent look. The frightened greeter let the two walk by. Wanda picked a table near a window. They sat down, and Craig pulled on his tie. "God, I hate this thing. I feel like I'm getting strangled."
"I don't exactly like the formal gear, either." Wanda said. "I like dresses, just not wearing them."
"I wish we could go to a fast food joint." Craig sighed. He saw a waiter walk up to the two and hand them menus. Both Wanda and Craig were confused. Neither of them went through anything really formal before. They took the menus and read them.
"What the heck is this?" Craig snapped.
"Ze menu." The waiter talked to Craig like he was a retard.
"I can't understand half of this stuff! Do I look French to you?" Craig started yelling.
"Can we just have some hotdogs?" Wanda scratched her head. The lack of English in the menus were frustrating both Darkstar and the Scarlet Witch.
"I know what I want." Craig said. "Gimme a cheeseburger."
"Cheeseburger?" The waiter asked.
"What's the matter? You no speak-a the English?" Craig mocked loudly. "You retarded? I want a cheeseburger! Ch-eese-burrr-ger." Craig scowled. He was in a bad mood ever since the date started, and this clown was not helping him. "Beef patty, slice of cheese, ketchup, lettuce, and onions in a bun! I'm sure one of those chefs can whip up something that simple! They can do freaky things with Jell-O!"
"Vhat do you mean 'freaky things with Jell-O'?" The waiter asked. Darkstar ignored the remark.
"And gimme a Coke." The waiter snorted.
"Americans." He said.
"Ahhh, go jump off the Eiffel Tower!" Craig jumped up angrily. "And tell the chef this stuff sounds like fancy dog food! I'm outta here!" The waiter stomped back to the kitchen.
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"DOG FOOD?!?!" The head chef screamed in rage. He then grabbed a meat cleaver, murder in his eyes. "I'll show him dog food! I'll make him into dog food!!" The chef tried to run into the dining hall, but the other chefs and the waiter were holding him back.
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"Oh no!" Althea said.
"C'mon Craig." Wanda laughed. "I'm having fun. I thought it was funny the way you mouthed off that waiter."
"I'm not enjoying this place." Craig undid his tie. "I'm gone." He walked to the door, Wanda behind him.
"That Craig!" Toad growled.
"I knew it!" Pietro raised his arms. "That Starr can't keep his temper under control! He's as bad as Claws!"
"I dunno. I think he had it under control." Lance shrugged. "He didn't kill anyone."
"Did you have a good OW!!" Craig walked past the greeter, giving him a punch in the nose. He walked to where the bike was, but found it was gone.
"Where's my bike!" Craig looked around. Wanda was on his heels. Darkstar found the valet he warned getting off his bike after parking it, and the street thug got steamed. "I told you not to touch my bike!!" Craig ran up to man, intent on beating the red-vested kid senseless.
"Look sir, I was just parking it! I have to! It was in-" He didn't get to finish. Craig punched him, then started stomping on him.
"Craig, knock it off! Let the guy go! Let's get out of here." Wanda suggested. Darkstar sneered at the valet, nursing his side and bloodied nose.
"You got lucky." Craig and Wanda jumped on the bike and went to a drive- thru at a fast food joint. They got food there. They then drove to a nearby beach. Craig parked the bike and he and Wanda jumped off. The others remained in the bushes. The two did some walking on the sand. Scarlet Witch hand to go barefoot, but she didn't mind.
"Not the best date in the world, huh?" Wanda asked Craig. Darkstar shrugged.
"Hated the restaurant. Remind me to kill Paul when I get back." Craig grumbled.
"I dunno. I think they needed cheeseburgers." Wanda laughed.
"Sorry I lost my temper. Just that..."
"All that stuffiness?" Wanda asked, smiling. "Yeah, I don't blame you. I hated it myself, to be honest."
"How does anyone do it?" Craig groaned.
"Don't ask me." Wanda shrugged, removing her gloves and hanging them on her shoulder. "It's a little warm out here."
"Mmm." Craig agreed, taking off his jacket and holding it over his shoulder. "Might as well sit down and eat this stuff."
"Might as well." Wanda agreed, sitting down. Craig handed her a bag of food and they munched the burgers and fries they got. Craig looked in his bag when he saw how the moonlight reflected off Wanda's face. He couldn't help but blush. Unfortunately, Wanda caught him. "You look like you got sunburned."
"Uhm..." Craig was at a loss for words. "Uh...whatever." Craig quickly hid his face. Wanda giggled.
"Craig's keeping his hands to himself. Wise move." Pietro glared from afar, in a bunch of bushes.
"Watch where you sit, Petey." Lance groaned. "There's a sharp piece of driftwood near you."
"What if they catch us?" Xi worried. "Knowing their tempers, they will not be pleased."
"Don't worry. Althea and I cooked up a contingency plan." Toad whispered into Xi's ear.
"Y'know, Craig. I love looking at the stars." Wanda said.
"I never really did." Craig looked up and stared. "I don't really see what's so special."
"Really?" Wanda looked confused. "I mean, you've never wondered what's out there?"
"After being around you people, I lost my curiosity." Craig sighed, stuffing some fries into his mouth. "Besides, the Joes know about aliens and such stuff. We got a spaceship in the Pit for crying out loud. Why bother wondering?" Craig then started muttering something about Paul and a golf club.
"Why are you mad at Paul?"
"Because that idiot brother of mine recommended that French place." Craig tried not to lose it. "Flint helped him. Ever since I got back from the Viper bit, I've been teased and the butt of jokes by the Joes. Tripwire and Short Fuse wrote a poem about it for God's sake! I'm glad Shipwreck doesn't know, otherwise I'd be really mad!" Darkstar fired his laser at the sky in rage.
"Paul was only trying to help, Craig." Wanda said. "He does love you, you know."
"I wish he didn't care so freakin' much." Craig sighed.
"You do. You just don't want to admit it, Craig." Wanda said. "I bet he's wondering what we're doing right now."
"He'd know. He's the charmer." Craig groaned.
"I dunno. I think you're charming in your own way." Craig blushed at the comment.
"Really?" Darkstar thought for a moment. "Paul's the one the girls love. I mean, I dunno why. He's insane."
"He's cheerful, he's happy-go-lucky, he's always smiling and he loves to have fun." Wanda shrugged. "Not to mention he is incredibly charismatic and he has a presence about him."
"Don't tell me you're falling for him too!" Craig groaned. "It's bad enough the X-Girls all have crushes on him. I mean, they fight over him constantly! If he talks on the phone, you hear them screaming 'Paul is mine!' constantly in the background! The X-Men are so jealous, last time he visited, Gambit nearly took a chainsaw to him!" Wanda laughed.
"Yeah, I remember. Remy looked like a rabid dog." Wanda snickered. "You envy Paul, huh?"
"No, I don't!" Darkstar snapped. "I mean, why would I wish to be like Paul? He looks like an 80s rocker, he's hyperactive, he's so cheerful all the time!"
"Paul grew up in a rich family." Wanda reminded. "He had everything, but he isn't spoiled." Craig's face told her she did have a point.
"Yeah." Craig agreed. "He didn't fit my idea of a rich kid. I thought rich kids would be snooty, brown-nosing, self-centered jerks. Instead, Paul is rather down-to-earth. Even though his dreams are rather lofty. Starchild's a good-hearted guy." Craig then looked down at the sand. "I guess I do envy him a little bit. I guess I just act the way I do to him to mask it. I really envy Paul. There are times when I do wish I could've been a little more like him, you know?" Craig softened up, something he very rarely did. "I wish I could look on the bright side all the time like he does. I grew up alone and in gangs. I never was loved. Paul was." Wanda saw something extremely rare, something only Paul had seen before. A small tear rolled down his eye.
"You are loved, Craig." Wanda scooted closer and put an arm around Craig's shoulder. "Paul loves you. He's your brother. Nothing can change that. I guess it's the same with me and Pietro. True, Quicksilver can be an egomaniacal jerk, but I still do love him."
"They say twins have a special link, beyond those of ordinary siblings." Craig said. "I guess that's true. I guess the reason why Paul feels so great about everything is because he knows he has a family."
"Yeah." Wanda agreed. "It is. Paul may not show it, but I guess he envies you."
"Me?"
"You are the tougher of the two. You also are the more streetwise one." The other Misfits watched them. Even though they couldn't hear what Wanda and Craig were saying, they knew something happened. Suddenly, Pietro moved, forgetting about the sharp piece of wood near his butt.
"YEEEOOOOOWWWWWWCH!!!!" Quicksilver leapt out of the bushes, holding his butt and jumping around like a headless chicken. "OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!!!" Scarlet Witch and Darkstar saw him, and they were not too happy to see the speedster.
"PIETRO!!!" They both yelled.
"Let's go!" Todd whispered. He, Althea, Lance, Fred, and Xi disappeared. A growling Craig's eye glowed and Wanda charged up a couple hex-bolts.
"How long were you there?!?!" Craig snapped at a scared Pietro.
"Knowing him, he was spying the whole time." Wanda glared. Pietro smirked.
"But I'm not alone!" Quicksilver laughed. "Lance, Althea, Xi, Todd and Fred are...here?" Pietro turned around and found the others were gone. "Guys?" He looked around the bushes in a panic. "Guys? Guys? Fellas? Oh no..."
"A likely story!" Craig yelled. "If they were there, they would've shown themselves!"
"I guess Pietro hasn't learned his lesson." Wanda readied her arm to pitch a hex-bolt. "I guess we'll have to teach him not to spy on people while they're dating." Craig's eye glowed purple, his laser ready to fire.
"Let's talk about this." Pietro backed away as Craig and Wanda advanced on him. "Look! I'm sorry! Please! Don't do this! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MOMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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"Are you sure it was a good idea to abandon Pietro?" Xi asked in a worried manner as the others went back to the Delgato house.
"Don't worry about it, Xi." Blob reassured. "He's used to Wanda beating the living bejesus out of him." In the distance, the Pit heard girly screaming.
"WAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MOMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT THE FACE!!!!! NOT THE FACE!!!! OWWWWW!!!!!!" The other Misfits burst out laughing.
"Man, if I were back in the Brotherhood House when Pietro was in charge, I'd say that he got what he deserved, yo." Toad chuckled. "Too bad Paul couldn't join us."
"Mr. Happy-go-Lucky had love letters to answer." Lance smirked. "Let's watch the tape."
"Let's not tell Craig or Wanda we were there either." Althea suggested. The others nodded their heads. Meanwhile, Pietro was running back to the Pit at super speed, screaming and dodging hex-bolts. Wanda was throwing them. She and Craig were chasing him on Craig's Starcycle.
"I'll get those guys. I'll really get them back!" Pietro thought as he ran for his life.
Well, looks like this little adventure is over! See you around soon!