A/N: Please don't judge me for this! It started as a joke but then actually got kinda good...so I decided to post it. Enjoy!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
NICK WILDE
VS.
ROBIN HOOD
BEGIN!
Nick Wilde:
"Well oo-da-lally, look what the Mouse dragged in
A campy fox leading a pack of 'merry' men?
Dressed like Peter Pan, think you fool me, PLEASE
I can tell Little John takes care of your 'bear necessities'
You're a cash-grab rip off, I'm an original story
I drive fans Wilde, your sub-par writing bores me
I went from a hustlin' player to a cop arresting mayors
You couldn't rob old fools without help from your bear.
I know that every town has its ups and downs
But in this battle I'm beating you straight into the ground
You're washed up, Robby, you fall flat as a lead
My rhyme skills soar past you coming out in 3D."
Robin Hood:
"Okay, tell me if this sounds familiar, Nick
A sly smug fox pulling a silver tongue shtick
With a tragic past, no family, an oppressive upbringing
Where the harshness of the world left his little heart stinging
Come on now, know why it sounds so familiar, kit?
Because before you were thought of I already mastered it!
You call yourself original, you're just a second rate con
I was hustling the fuzz DECADES before you, son
You're a one-hit-wonder, I'm a classic work of art
I beat out Kevin Costner and Russell Crowe for the part
And as a fellow fox, Nick, gotta say I'm quite embarrassed
to see a meat-eater with a fetish for Carrots."
Nick Wilde:
"Robby, don't fool yourself, you think you're still in the game?
Whoopsies, everyone under 40 thinks that you're lame
Your "timeless story?" Double whoopsies, it was rotten
And whoopsies number threesies, now you're all but forgotten
I make my fans swoon, breakin' hearts with my smirk
You managed to pull a few fast ones on a thumb-sucking jerk
There's nothing exciting about your predictable tale
Fight a prince, save the girl, 'the hero never fails'
That's BORING, I'm over your goody-two-shoes act
I broke records, stereotypes and tropes, check the facts
Dispatch? Officer Wilde moving in, no need for back-up
Cuz against me, this perp has no chance to stack up."
Robin Hood:
"Now you listen here you little smug faced twit,
I've had just about enough of your deplorable wit!
You're a petty little liar, always hustling innocents
I risked my very life to overthrow that Prince!
You stole for yourself, I stole for the oppressed
You're a selfish little brat who never learned how to dress
Sure, you did turn your life around in the end
But cripes! "Felony tax evasion" did you in!
I never got caught, and I came out on top
You got owned by a fuzzy little rent-a-cop!
When it comes to rap battles, Nick you're ill equipped
Cuz' like your bunny girlfriend, seems I've got you whipped."
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!