I found this just lying in my barely-used files, forgotten. I decided to finish it off for old time's sake. This is part of a series of one-shots exploring the head-canon that the Duck Dodgers of the show was in fact the frozen original Daffy Duck. Mostly a continuation of 'But I know the Truth' and 'Illudium P36'

"So how long do Martians live anyway?"

Like any sentence uttered by Dodgers that contained the letter 's', the phrase made the Commander wince a little before it registered. His hands were on the control console. They were sailing- teeth grindly quietly- through space. The new treaty had been reinstated, but it was to be temporary – the officials wanted more time to settle the bigger details. 'On edge' didn't begin to describe the galaxy. Dodgers seemed preoccupied with other things; not at all as nervous as his sidekick pig at being aboard what was – ahem – previously an enemy ship on route to Mars.

Dodgers was to be the ambassador. Perhaps it was Earth's attempt to send someone the Queen would be more accommodating with. Commander X2's grip on the joysticks grew tighter.

"It is no concern of yours, Dodgers." He drawled, eyes lidded smoothly. "Why would you ask such a thing?"

Dodgers glanced past him at the stars ahead. Mars was nowhere in sight yet, mors the pity. "Just wonderin'. You know, I...heard that sssomewhere that martians could live for like, a thousand years."

This time, the Commander didn't dismiss him. He was vaguely aware of the Cadet's gaze flickering over, too. Again with the enquiring about Martians of the past...

"Hundreds of years ago, Martians weren't nearly as numerous." X2 explained, keeping his voice flat. "They lived a great many years, but times change."

"So absolutely none of them would still be alive 'round now, huh?" Dodgers tapped the end of his beak, "It figures."

There was a pause. Commander X2 drummed his fingers on the control console. "I've noticed your interest in Martian history and technology, though I can't fathom why, Dodgers." He didn't hide the questioning note. Cadet was watching, lips kneading together. The Commander ignored him.

Dodgers did not get defensive. In a way, that was irritating. He simply shrugged, "Eh, I told ya before, bowling-ball, I met a Martian like you back in my day."

X2's eyes narrowed. "Are you insinuating that we all look the same?"

"Nah, I mean really like ya!" Dodgers held a hand over the Commander's head, measuring his height (oblivious to his to his fury) "But he was smaller n' skinner, bigger head, better fashion sense, knew how to keep out a draft. Had the skirt, too."

Cadet and the Commander shared a look. Like the go-cart races, it was a rare thing for Dodgers to mention - anything from the 21st Century. The Commander stepped away, eyeing him down, "And I assume he was long-lived?"

"Pfft. Some other guy I know said he'd lived for thousands of years, tried to blow up earth once with a –"

"Explosive space modulator?" Commander X2 finished slowly.

Dodgers was now sitting in the Commander's vacant seat, popping a soda can open. "E-yup. He worked in our store once."

"But Captain Dodgers, you just s-said he tried to blow up the Earth." Cadet reminded him, a little shakily. Dodgers waved it off.

"Yeah, but the cue-ball calmed down a bit."

"...You mentioned an astronomer, Dodgers." Commander 2X had pieces, and oh was he putting them together. "I believe that is whom you speak of? The one you called –"

Dodgers crunched noisily down on a chip. He'd just opened a bag of 'Cheesy Dip Chips' and was blinking at him, "Who?" Several crumbs flew from his beak.

"This...Martian 'friend' of yours." The Commander said, anger slightly betraying his tone. "The astronomer worked with you? On Earth?"

"Oh, he went home on the holidays." The duck noted as if it were perfectly normal, munching on a chip, "Pretty express travel. I made sure."

Every answer just bombarded both the Cadet and Commander with further questions. Travel? He made it seem like travel between Earth and Mars had been as easy – and boundary-free – as going across the street. But back then, Earth hadn't bloomed. Hadn't discovered mandatory space travel, if he was correct.

Still, he couldn't understand earthlings being so...accepting of a Martian invader wandering around and, for what he was hearing, living long-term on Earth. A Martian, that, according to this infernal duck, had been like...

Dodgers snorted to himself, sipping on his drink, "Yeah, he was just kinda 'around', that guy. Though one time we were bowling and I kept thinking his head was one of tha' balls."

The Cadet tried to stifle a chuckle at the image of the duck picking up some small, confused Martian and almost tossing him. But the Commander wondered if Dodgers was semi-aware of their prodding, as he was saying nothing else and watching the stars as if it were a TV Show. Noisily slurping on his soda.

Martians on Earth. Well, at least one. Regularly. What an odd place, the past.

"D-d-d- er, Cap'in Dodgers." The Cadet asked, sitting nearby, "Wh-what was it like, y-you know the cities, and such?"

"Eh, suburbia. Forests. Went sailing once."

The image of a little Martian astronomer wandering around suburbia, with a forest in the distance, forever implanted itself in the Commander's head. It wasn't overly strange or of note, but there was something...wholesome, almost homey, about such an image. What was the word? Peaceful? Before war between the galaxy's major planets had ever been whispered. Just Earth and Mars, floating in their own little pocket. Suburbia. How simple life must have been. Dodgers belonged there, the Commander decided.

Cadet thought about dodgers working a job in a sunburn town, with a Martian who he considered no real threat, going bowling on the weekends. Go-carting, water-boy for a team sometimes. It was nearly unfathomable, such a quiet life.

"Wh-what kind of store w-was it, Cap'n?"

Of all the things to ask. But the Cadet seemed to know what he was doing, smiling almost gently, indulgently, as if he knew something the Martian did not. Commander X2 noticed the far-away look on Dodger's face as he munched on his chips and realised that distracting him now, or prodding too hard, would break this little...spell he was going through.

It was the first time in his life that he'd ever felt something akin to 'pity' for Dodgers.

"Just the usual, convenience sthore, all that. Lil' bell on the door. Hired ole cue-ball as security. Them las-ther guns sure keep away the shoplifters, lemme tell ya."

It was like an epiphany, then.

Most people on Earth spoke to Martians with a (expected and warranted) suspicion. Even those 'respected' by earthlings were kept at arm's length. Dodgers had never registered that invisible line. He'd chalked it up to stupidity and carelessness, but perhaps it was – dare he say – more than that?

He was comfortable. With Martians. Utterly so. When he'd been on their planet, trying to hoodwink his way into the royal position, he'd been at total ease around the indigenous people...when he'd grown up knowing only the earth.

Comfortable because of this astronomer who'd lived in his town, who had gone from wanting to destroy the earth to living on it frequently, working and playing sports with the residents. What a time to be alive. It was almost unfathomable. Commander X2 placed a hand on his forehead.

Dodgers paused then, looking down into his now empty chip packet. "...huh."

The duck blinked and the cloudy look in the duck's eyes disappeared, "Hey, Cadet, we got anymore soda?"

The pig smiled placatingly. "W-we're stopping by a supply station in minus ten m-m-minutes, Captain."

"Great, I'll get ta pick-up some batteries for my gameboy."

They did not quiz the duck further.

...

Later, he and the pig were standing by the ship, awaiting Dodgers to return from his battery-soda haggling.

"Th-thanks for n-not pushin' it."

Commander X2 glanced sideways at the Cadet, watching him pointedly. "You are referring to...?"

The Pig shrugged, smiling only slightly. "Cap'n Dodgers doesn't usually talk about stuff like that and I'm just glad you didn't push it. Otherwise h-h-he'd-a caught on."

Caught onto the fact that he was yabbering.

"Hmph." He feigned indifferent, looking away from the pig. "Perhaps there are reasons he's suited to his position, but I doubt they outweigh the bad consequences."

X2 admitted this only begrudgingly.

Cadet watched the figure of Dodgers through the glass of the sell-station, his expression turning sullen. "I-its kinda sad. I wonder h-how he deals with it, sometimes."

"Best to allow him to forget when he can." X2 found himself saying.

"There's n-no way that guy he was talkin' about could be alive?"

Commander X2 sighed, and this time, he allowed some regret into his tone. "No."

He didn't mention that he'd taken the liberty of checking.