Hav knocked on the door of the apartment, her face showing none of the emotion that wrestled around in her gut. She glanced at the address on her hand once more, scrawled in blue pen, and then back up at the door, where the numbers '776' glinted at her. Hela had left her here, promising that she would come, should she be needed.

"Coming! Coming, coming- sorry, " came a soft female voice, and Hav's breath caught so suddenly in her throat, that she couldn't breath for a couple of seconds, her lungs burning. What if she had been wrong, what if-

There was the metallic 'click' of a latch being undone, and then the door opened, quite wide.

Hav's eyes alighted on the figures on the other side of the doorstep, and her heart stuttered to a stop. There was a hand around her intestines, clutching so tightly that she could hardly see, and all the sudden she was warm, and Sirius was here, and she was crying, and Sirius was breathing very heavily, and there were tears in his eyes, and he smelled like dog and cologne and leather and the odd wintery smell that she associated with the Black family magic.

"Sirius, ohmymerlinsirius," she gasped, wrapping her arms around him and clutching his leatherish jacket with a deathly grip, leather bunched up harshly in her hands. Her eyes were burning stinging crying, and she couldn't see anything, she was blind with happiness, but it was sadness, and it was remorse and relief and something so much deeper than anything else, deeper than the word love, deeper than anything Hav wanted to explore, but it was the undercurrent of her whole body, sweeping around her. It was something like family and devotion and ohmymerlin it was Sirius, and Hav couldn't breathe.

"Hav. You're- Hav." Sirius pleaded, pulling back to look at her with such desperate eyes, such pain, that Hav couldn't really - she wasn't really - coherent- and so instead, she just started sobbing, crumpling into her godfather and crying, and her heart felt so light it was heavy, and some ancient, golden happiness draped itself around her ribcage, and the moment seemed to glow more brilliant than a thousand sunlit afternoons.

When she released him from her deathly clutch, she swiped her hands over her eyes, and stared at him. Wrinkles creased his face, his eyes were heavy lidded, and his hair was a light grey, no longer the trademark black and brown of the young Black purebloods. Next to him stood a redhead with a professional skirt and blue blouse, but upon seeing them both embracing, she gestured to a doorway across the room and took her leave to a different part of the apartment. Hav could not bring herself to think upon it for longer than that moment, because-

"Sirius. Sirius- I'm so sorry," whispered Hav, "I'm so sorry."

Sirius looked lost, but to his credit, he ran shaking fingers through his hair and spoke, his voice gentle and fearful. "Sorry? Why are you-"

"I- it's my fault you're here- I shouldn't have gone to the Ministry, I shouldn't have- but I did, and- and it cost me so much, it cost me- you-"

"Don't you dare, Heta. Don't you- Hetav Lily Potter-" Sirius shoved his hand through his hair again, and his eyes were wild. "I would do it a million times over. I never regret doing anything to help you, so don't you dare apologize."

No, no, no no no, he doesn't understand-

"I risked- your- life!" Hav hissed, eyes glistening and old anger suddenly resurging, roaring to the surface with the view of Sirius old, weighed down- "I went into the Ministry, not bothering to check, I went in unawares, and I was stupid- I didn't alert anyone, I endangered my friends, and I hurt them- Merlin, Ron had scars up and down his arms thanks to some of the strange concoctions in the Department of Mystery- and Hermione- Hermione- she sometimes had rib pains, but she never spoke of them, and they could all see thestrals, and it's-all-my-fault. Why- Why are you brushing that away? I was thoughtless- I-"

"You were ready to sacrifice yourself for me." remarked Sirius. "But you're angry at yourself, when I am ready to do the same thing." He looked at her, searching her eyes. "What's happened? Why are you here? Merlin knows the last thing I'm doing is complaining about it; I'm thrilled- but why are you here? This is an alternate universe."

Hav bit her lip, averting her eyes, resisting the urge to just joke it off, pretend, and somehow, somehow, have the same relationship with her godfather that she had before she had endangered his life.

"It's- it's a long story."

"I have all the time in the world." responded Sirius, "I don't have anywhere to be. And if I did," he shrugged with one shoulder, "you're infinitely more important."

No I'm, no I'm, no I'm not, and you do not have all the time in the world, you-

"Then, well," Hav shuddered, "I'm not sure where to start."

Sirius beckoned her all the way inside the apartment. "Come in, Hav. Here, I'll go make some coffee- how do you like yours?- and then you can start at the beginning." He looked at her a moment longer, then stepped over to the adjoining room, which looked to be a small kitchen.

Hav bit her lip again, her eyes stinging as she stepped into the room. She didn't want to relive those memories, she didn't, but Sirius was so- He was different than he had remembered him. He was betterthan she had remembered him, in some ways. His dogged perseverance, his unconditional love, his determination, and his loyalty- Merlin, she hadn't even realized how much she had missed him, but there was something very peaceful in her heart, despite the roiling of her emotions. Something content. She hadn't felt so content in a long while. But underneath the pervasive relief and contentment was a guttening, gripping fear, the same one that stole Hermione and Ron and everyone she had ever, ever grown to know and love. Death followed her and she could not ever, ever stop it, and it stole – it stole everything from her -

She followed him into the apartment, and sat down on the small couch that lay sprawled diagonally in the middle of the room. Half-empty glasses of water placed in precarious positions on the furniture. A book lay open on a television stand, and a shirt lay puddled on the floor. It was small, but it was nice, and it seemed so – so Sirius-

Two muttering voices were heard from the other room, and Hav suddenly remembered the other occupant of this apartment whom she had seen earlier. Glancing towards the kitchen, she let her eyes linger on the doorframe, resisting the urge to run to him and never, ever let go - before turning back to the shelf by the couch. Two picture frames lay there, one fallen over, the glass cracked but gently mended with a piece of tape. She picked them both up, and examined the first.

The same redheaded woman in the kitchen with Sirius, with her long, loose curls, blue eyes, and a slim figure was grinning into the camera, her one arm supporting Sirius, who was smiling happily as his other hand rested on a huge stack of papers on a plain, metal looking desk. The walls behind them were a stark, sickly white, but both their smiles were dazzling and happy.

She shifted the frame and looked at the next picture, which held Sirius and – oh gods. Hav felt tears spark in her eyes as she realized that the picture was of him and the Marauders, arms slung across eachother with the same sort of careless and casual air Sirius carried with him all through school. Hav ran her fingers across Remus' face, across Sirius' face, and across the face of her father, letting the tips of her index finger linger before setting the photos down and looking at the room once more.

Now that she had seen the photos, the room seemed almost empty, like they supported the entire character of the room. A shelf underneath a mirror held a glass case of pill bottles in the corner, and the window was cracked open, contributing to good air circulation in the room.

Hav sighed, sitting down on the couch and waiting for a few minutes, before Sirius came into the room, balancing two cups of steaming coffee in one hand. He handed one to Hav, and then settled down next to her, looking cautious. After a moment, however, he seemed to embrace his inner Gryffindor, pulling her into his side, and relaxing as she only came closer. They were silent for a moment, the only sound in the room the sound of Hav blowing on the steam of her coffee. She took a sip after a moment, and her eyes looked very pained, before she gulped it down, her eyes watering.

"Merlin, Sirius, that coffee is-" she shuddered with revulsion, "foul." She hacked out a couple of coughs, before grinning at him.

Sirius laughed, his eyes bright. "Natalie says the same thing. Doesn't stop me from trying it, though." He grinned. "It's like my own, personal, initiation test." He rolled his eyes. "If you can't withstand my coffee, you can't withstand my presence."

Hav snorted. "How many people do you scare off?"

"A fair few." He acceded, trying not to smile and failing miserably. "God, I've missed you."

Hav's smile turned sad. "I've missed you too." She looked at him for a moment, then gestured to the kitchen. "That is Natalie, then?"

Sirius's smile dimmed some. "That's Natalie, alright. She's – well, she's a personal, I don't know, a personal assistant of sorts. You still are – Hav, you're so young – I- I've aged, since. Since, you know. Time has passed here." He paused, avoiding Hav's eyes, but knowing nonetheless what he could find there. "Don't give me that look, it isn't your fault- when I first came here – when I first came here I became very, very sick. Still, really, am. I'm not – Universe travel has never been safe. Falling through a glorified curtain straight into a rip in space and time in another universe?" He cut off, looking at Hav warily. "I won't lie to you. The only thing – the only thing- keeping me here – is a lot of medication and Natalie – she makes sure I don't do anything, you know, that could..."

Hav felt anguish and rolling despair replace all the happiness she had thought was so pervasive earlier, letting silence fall around them. Fighting to not let the blackness and swimming of her vision and the tangible nausea overtake her, she struggled to speak.

"You fell through the veil. I don't remember exactly what happened after that- I followed Bellatrix," Sirius tensed, "I tried- I tried to make her feel my pain, I tried, but I couldn't, because I was too weak, and then Voldemort was there, and things were shattering everywhere, and then Fawkes took the killing curse and Dumbledore tried to ward off Voldemort. Voldemort tried to possess me, but he failed, and then Dumbledore took me back to the palace, and I can't- there's a prophecy, he said, there's a prophecy that says that you have to kill the Dark Lord." Hav's eyes were empty, tone dull. "And so I did. It took the next two years, and Dumbledore was killed, and Snape died trying to protect me, and then." her eyes fluttered up to Sirius's, before looking at her lap again. "Then, I went into the forest, and I died." She paused, her brow furrowing.

"I can't remember what happened clearly, but I was thrown into this white, white mist, and this woman - she was made of shadows, and her grin was something monstrous- she cackled, and touched my shoulder... she said a spell, and she introduced herself as Death. 'I am Death, you are the Master of Eternal Slumber, and I have given you my gift. May it be hidden deep inside your soul until you find the desperate need to unravel it and let it loose around you.' Those words are the only ones I can remember clearly- but then she placed an object in my hand and somehow pushed, and I was suddenly in a white room with Dumbledore."

The story spilled out of her, but somehow her voice was distant and cold, almost apathetic to the horror that she had experienced. It was as if she was reading out of a particularly uninteresting history textbook. She couldn't focus on what Sirius had said for this one, brief moment, one – she didn't care that maybe there was a Muggle in the other room, listening in – she couldn't think, could barely breathe-

"Once Voldemort was dead, we were left to mourn." Hav described. "And the mourning period came and went. And Hermione and Ron got married, and they had children. And we grew rather distant." She paused. "And then there was the war with the muggles."

"Wait, what?" interrupted Sirius, looking utterly confused. "What?"

Hav glanced at him, then averted her eyes. "What do you mean?"

"Ron. And Hermione. They had kids? Merlin, how old were they?"

Hav's brow furrowed. "I'm not sure, off the top of my head. Twenties, I'm pretty sure?" Suddenly she seemed to see what Sirius was saying, and her eyes shuttered. "Oh. Yes."

"I...what? You're-"

"The reason I don't look a day over twenty, is because I'm, well, physically...not."

Sirius breathed out, slumping backwards. "You're the Master of Death - and that's the price." he breathed.

Hav averted her eyes again. "I- I." She paused, and the tears wouldn't be held back anymore. Seeing this, reliving the seconds of watching his body flutter through the veil, seeing his hair whitened and old and the passing of time stealing everything from her- again – "I – yes." Her hand spasmed in barely controlled anguish, and the coffee mug cradled listlessly in her hand crashed to the floor and shattered. Natalie appeared around the corner with surprising speed, her hands tucking a phone into her pocket as she ran into the room, eyes full of concern.

"Hav, Hav- Hav, listen to me-"

Natalie's voice was cool and caring as she reached the couch where they both sat. "Sirius, it looks she's having a panic attack, she'll be fine, but she needs to ride it through – every noise is overwhelming. It looks like she's letting you hold her hand, but stop – stop talking-"

Minutes, or hours, or decades later, Hav felt the room return around her, her breathing heavy and choking and teary and –

"Hav. Hav." Came Sirius's voice, cautious and careful. He ran his fingers through her hair quietly, and his voice was infinitely gentle.

"I'm sorry." Hav quavered, her voice quiet. She noted the concerned face of Natalie looking down at her next to Sirius.

"No – no, don't be sorry-" Natalie spoke softly, rounding the couch and settling down next to her. "I've seen many panic attacks. Don't ever feel sorry for them. Are you – are you alright?"

Hav bit her lip. "I'm… yes. I'm fine. I –" she stared at the shattered glass on the floor, which Natalie had avoided with a graceful ease. She met Sirius's eyes, the room swimming in and out of focus around her. "I think- I think I need to- I just wanted to be Hetav."

Everything went dark.

Ready

The sound of someone screaming, the sound of someone screaming, the sound of someone screaming. A wrenched, guttural, and desperate scream.

Aim.

The sound of a gun being loaded, and the safety being expertly turned off.

Fire.

The sound was mute, although it should have been loud. Or was it loud? Hav couldn't hear anything over the blood suddenly rushing to her head.

Fire.

Soft hands curling around hers, a grin turned into her neck, calloused fingers trailing over the edge of a face. Whispers of I love you and it wasn't your fault and I'll see you someday if I'm lucky.

She shot up in on the couch, sheets falling down to her waist, and slung her legs over the side, before she walked over to a window, breath heaving as she tried to remember who she was. Where she was. What she –

She was in Sirius' apartment, on the couch. Natalie lay on the floor, curled in blankets, her red hair flittering around her face in the breeze through the open window. New York. The distant glow of city lights illuminated the room in a half haze, slanting through the blinds and onto the couch around her. Natalie's breathing pattern shifted ever so slighly – she was awake, though she had not moved, and Hav let her gaze trail to the redhead as the memory of everything that had happened before she had passed out overtook her.

She hadn't expected this. She hadn't expected Sirius to find out. But the mutt had, and now he knew exactly what sort of cursed - cursed - monster- she was. She would live until the last star burned out, and everyone - and everything - would wilt or be cut down around her.

It was sick. She had spent her whole time at Hogwarts trying to extend lives, and now hers was extended - forever. And here Sirius was, and here she was – something she had longed for for so, so long – and somehow, she had forgotten – (stupid, stupid)- that time could have passed here. And now he was white hair and laugh lines and –

It was a sick, sick joke, really, extreme karmic retribution. Her chin trembled, and she slammed her fist into the blanket pooled around her lap.

She had come here to find Sirius, and she had, and even though her heart sung with the feeling of 'I'm not alone anymore-' there was also the feeling she hadn't expected. The feeling of helplessness, as she realized that nothing, nothing, could save him from being whisked away from her in a heartbeat. The sands of time would trickle in between his fingers, while she stood outside of the hourglass, looking in at all of humanity while they struggled with one thing - mortality. Wars would come, and fade, love would appear and fall away, but their mortality remained a constant, just as it always had been.

"Damn it all." she whispered to the night. "Merlin damn it all."

Sirius stumbled into the kitchen, eyes bleary, and watched as Hav pulled the pot off the stove, flipped the pancakes, and slipped a dash of salt into the eggs, all at once. Seconds later, she was at his china cabinet, pulling out a few plates, before heaping eggs and pancakes onto them, setting them down at the table. She poured a generous helping of coffee into the mugs before setting them above the plates, and then pulled two forks out of an open door, before closing it with relish. Sirius collapsed into the chair at the table, digging his palms into his eye sockets, before surveying the food in front of him. He looked confused for a moment before his eyes found hers, and relief and joy warred to a forefront. "You're alright. Merlin, you gave me a scare- Natalie kept her cool, like always – you're-"

"I'm fine, Sirius, I promise." Hav said, curling her fingers on top of his. He searched her eyes for a moment, but whether or not he found what he was looking for or not, Hav tore her eyes away and then gestured to the food on the table.

"Merlin bless you, pup. Merlin bless." He muttered worshipfully, before jamming a forkful of eggs into his mouth.

Hav rolled her eyes, before pulling out a second chair and sitting across from him. She was silent for a moment, watching him shovel down his food with an amused glint in her eyes, before setting down her coffee, which she had been clasping in an iron grip.

"Er- about yesterday -" she trailed off.

Sirius met her eyes, setting down his fork, and looking her dead in the eyes.

"I figured that - well - I had nothing left there, after a...er.. while..." she shuddered, her hands shooting back out for the scalding coffee mug, as if it were her only lifeline.

"A while." Sirius said, his eyes disbelieving. "You basically - you told me that you were stuck at twenty - I don't know if that makes you age slower, or if that makes you some sort of - sort of deity, or something, but tell me, pup, how long - how long is a while?"

"I'm not a deity." whispered Hav, her eyes full of some sort of ancient sadness. "I'm Hav."

Sirius slumped. "You're immortal, then."

"No." replied Hav, studying her fingers intently. "Not immortal. I just live until everything else...doesn't. Then there is nothing else, and so... there isn't anything to be the master of. I'll just...fade... I suppose. It's an awfully lonely existence, this." She smiled, but it didn't reach past the quirk of her lips. "I know that everything will be gone, before I am."

"Pup." Sirius choked. "I love you."

Hav stood up very quickly, rounding the table to hug him, her arms shaking.

"I will be here for you - for as long as I'm able. And whatever you decide to do in – I'll be – whatever you decide to do in your future, know that there's someone who's so, so proud of you."

Hav's breath caught a little. "You – I love you. I- I'm so scared, Sirius. Staying in the other- I was so alone. And now you're here, and you're – you're fantastic, you always are – but I'm- you're older, and I forgot time could have passed, and I'm so scared of – "

I'm so scared of losing you.

Sirius' arms tightened, but he said nothing for a long moment. Both of them were aware that nothing he was able to say could compare to –

"How many. Hav, how many years did you spend there before you left?"

Hav didn't reply, instead looking through the kitchen doorframe and onto the still slumbering form of Natalie by the sofa, one hand visible between layers of soft blankets.

"Two hundred and twenty." She murmured.

Her godfather made a half-aborted saddened noise before she felt his chin rest on top of her head.

"Two hundred and twenty – Hav-"

Hav let her fingers catch in his, and lifted her eyes to meet his eyes. "You can't change it. You can't change this and by Merlin, I wish- I wish I could, but I can't – I'm cursed to just watch the stars fade out and fall away from the sky and –"

Time would continue, golden and steady and unchanging, and across its sandy shores the waves of life and death would pull at everyone she'd ever learn to love.

"I'm glad I found you." Hav finally whispered. "I'm not strong enough to do this alone."

Sirius was silent still. There was nothing he could say to her, no reassurances that he could stay with her until the end of time – because he couldn't. Instead, he dropped a kiss to the top of her head, his eyes closing as he felt Hav's breathing even out by his shoulder.

a/n: for anyone confused about why this story is updating, i'm editing the storyline so I can pick up the plot better. Some of y'all reviewed telling me the plotline was hard to follow, so I've changed parts of it to fit better. J