Author's Note:

I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only one that's super excited to see the new Netflix series of our beloved Series of Unfortunate Events, so I'll begin by saying that this fanfiction is a sort of honorary tribute to the series and its upcoming show production (let's hope it does the books justice!).

Ahem, so, anyway, just to say a little bit about this story before you dive right into it:

—You should know right from the get-go that this story will contain Violaf as a shipping, but it's not going to be one of those "if the 'Marvelous Marriage' scheme had actually worked and they were married" sort of fics. I've read a few and am a big fan of them, but at the same time, I just want to do something different with the plot. So, yes, Violet and Olaf will eventually get together, but no, it will not be because they had to get married first so that Olaf could get the fortune.

—Because the events from the first, second, and third books have already been played out in the 2003 movie version, I won't waste too much time describing what happened. To be honest, I'm more interested in the events from the fourth book onward, so we can assume the events to take place sometime after the deaths of Uncle Monty and Aunt Josephine. Also, assume that the 'Marvelous Marriage' plot would have happened in the first book as it did originally, instead of after the two aforementioned deaths like it did in the movie. (Note: for those who haven't read the books, I'll try to make things as simple to understand as possible so that not too much from the original books is given away, but the important points still remain.)

—A lot of people might wonder: Will Klaus and Sunny be eventually tossed out of the story so that it can focus just on Violet and Olaf? (I've been asked this before, so I think it's necessary to address.) And my answer for that is that no, of course they won't be set aside—they're far too important and awesome for that to happen! That being said, if there are ever any particular scenes where I feel that Violet and Olaf had best be left alone, I'm afraid that Klaus and Sunny will momentarily be out of the picture, but not for a long time, I promise. After all, why have one Baudelaire orphan when you can have all three, right?

That's about all I have to say for now, so, without further ado, please enjoy the first chapter of *drum rolls*…Fit For Two!

1 – The Strangely Suspicious Seafood Tin

It was just after they had witnessed the death of Aunt Josephine by the lachrymose leeches. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire stood on Damocles Dock and stared out over Lachrymose Lake, waiting for Mr. Poe to get back to them after making a phone call. Apparently, the nervous banker was yet again unsure what to do with them, or what new guardian to hand them off to. Even though the children had already warned him multiple times about Count Olaf, he had yet to listen to them, and left them no better off than on that first day when he had sought them out on Briny Beech to inform them of their first unfortunate event among a series that was ongoing. Back then, the children had only concluded that he was the bearer of bad news. Now, they were waiting for more of the same.

"I'm sure he's just making inquiries about where we're going to stay next," Klaus said encouragingly.

Violet sighed. "Maybe he's running out of guardians for us."

"Ga!" Sunny shrieked, which probably meant "It'll be the orphanage next for us, you'll see!"

Klaus sniffed. "Anything's better than going back to Count Olaf."

"That might be where we end up in the end anyway," Violet whispered, stiffening. The eldest of the three, she had grown to recognize Olaf's patterns and behaviours better than anyone, and there was one thing she knew for certain: no matter what, he wouldn't stop. Wouldn't stop following them wherever they went, and wouldn't stop at anything to get their family fortune…

"Vi, it won't come to that. Even Mr. Poe understands by now that Count Olaf's not to be trusted," Klaus said, but it was clear that he was also skeptical. Because, after all, it was Mr. Poe.

"Susu," Sunny said, which meant "Have a little faith—even he's going to get it eventually!"

With that thought lingering at the back their minds, along with insurmountable doubt, all three Baudelaire orphans sighed. Somehow, it was getting harder to be optimistic about what awaited them next.

"Children, I have wonderful news!" boomed the voice of Mr. Poe as he strode towards them on the dock, a handkerchief in his right hand. Raising it to blot some of the sweat off his face, he faced the orphans with a wide smile. "I've found you another guardian, and this one lives far, far away, where I think not even Olaf could come after you!"

The Baudelaires exchanged subtle looks. If Count Olaf had been able to find them in as remote a place as Lake Lachrymose, they had no doubt that he could find them even if they ended up in the Amazon jungle or some other remote place. No matter what Mr. Poe was about to say, it wouldn't be promising.

"Where is it?" Klaus piped up, trying to sound cheerful.

"Why, Paltryville of course! Yes, cheerful little town, and with a good economy too! It just so happens that your new guardian is a very rich and important man in those parts, who—"

But neither Klaus nor Violet were able to pay any more attention, as, just then, they heard a clatter and then clang as Sunny scooted along the empty boxes of tins of seafood, knocking one down and revealing a small, golden key hidden inside.

"Oh, I say? What's this?" Mr. Poe asked, reaching down to pick it up, but Violet's hand made contact first.

"Must be a dried-up sardine," she lied quickly.

Mr. Poe furrowed his brow. "I don't think sardines make a 'clink' sound when they fall, Violet."

"Actually, if they're really dry, they certainly do. Yes, with all the water out of their system, dehydrated lachrymose sardines are among the hardest in the world, to the point that they would make a 'clink' noise when they fall and make contact," Klaus said, quickly backing her up. "Not suitable for human consumption, I'm afraid, so maybe we should just throw this one into the lake for the leeches."

"Eee!" Sunny shrieked, which meant "Absolutely right!"

Mr. Poe nodded hastily and then took out another handkerchief to blow his nose. "Er, yes, quite so. Well, ah, I'll leave you to it, then. I'm not one for sardines myself, so…I'll just wait in the car, alright children? Or would you prefer that I stay with you?"

"We'll only be a minute, Mr. Poe," Violet insisted.

Nodding, the banker backed away, pausing to sneeze and then subsequently wipe his nose before he was off the dock.

Certain that he was out of earshot, Klaus turned to Violet with wide eyes. "What is it, Vi?" he asked.

Of the three, Violet's eyes were the most well-trained to see small details, and so she had surely seen the details that her brother had not. Opening her palm, she revealed the key she had hidden. Both Klaus and Sunny hitched a breath.

The top of the key was fashioned into an eye shape that matched the eyes in Count Olaf's house and the tattoo on his ankle perfectly. They had just found something they shouldn't have…

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