Star Butterfly and Marco Diaz are friends; best friends, partners, roommates the most. It's always been that way, and it always will be, no matter how much she wants (no craves) to be more. But it can't be, because no matter how much it kills her, he's not hers to have.

No, Marco Diaz belongs to the loved Jackie Lynn Thomas, and has since they were in kindergarten. Star's known him for less than that, four years and five months to be exact, and there was no competing with a girl like Jackie (because she's come to realize that no amount of magic could ever make Marco truly love her). And the worst part, she thinks, is that she sees it all, and she can do nothing more than scream her lungs out into her pillows and hope the nightmare will end (they never do).

See, Star could never make Marco smile the way Jackie does, or bring the warm feeling he's always talking about to his stomach. She can punch his arm when he's being a nervous wreck, stuff her face with nachos with him and give him a comforting hug when he needs one, but she can do no more. She loves those moments, though; she likes to pretend, that at least for one second, he's hers. (But that's not right, and Star knows it, so she lets the thoughts sink deep into her mind where she hopes to eventually erase it completely).

Jackie, however, can do whatever she want. She can snuggle into the crook of his neck, feel the heat radiating from his palms on hers, and kiss him on the lips whenever she wishes. She can make Marco laugh so hard, his stomach begins to hurt, just from a few words. She makes him happier than she ever has, and although she'd drowning, she knows it.

She doesn't say a word.

Star tries her best to keep her distance from them, but when she can't, she hates every second of it.

Marco and Jackie aren't the type to act all lovey dovey, and it'd be easier to tease them if they were, but they aren't. They're too discrete, the type of couple who stares lovingly into each other's eyes, who share secrets between the two of them and who's kisses are full of endearment. Star wants that more than anything, and it's gradually made her go numb.

Tom, who's done nothing but be there for her and control his horrid temper, knows it as well.

''Let me take the pain away'' he says, as he towers over her on her bed, sliding his hand up her dress.

She lets him.

It hurts, especially with the fact that Marco doesn't know a thing.

''Come on, Star'' he cried out, grabbing her gently by the arm. ''Let's go to the movies, since Princess here, is too busy studying''

They're having lunch out in one of their high school's lunch tables, and the sun seemed to be shinning down on them far too much.

Star wants to scream (he's! touching! Her! Again!), but instead pretends she's too focus on using her wand at that very moment. ''Marco, can't you see I'm busy?''

''Please, take him'' Jackie calls out, across the table from them, her head buried into the book in front of her. ''Diaz, here, has been bothering me since this morning''

''Aw, c'mon, there's a new karate movie showing after school'' He wraps an arm around her shoulder, leaning his head against hers and Star instantly freezes. ''What do you say? We haven't spent time alone together in a while''

Her heart is racing too fast, she thinks she's actually dying.

''Why don't you go by yourself?'' she growls.

''That's no fun'' he tugs at her again, begging dramatically. ''Come on, Star! I'll buy you all the sour candy you want!''

''Alright, fine'' she sighs, pushing him off (if his hands continue to be against her skin, she feels she might go insane). Jackie only smirks shaking her head. ''Marco Diaz, you are one immature dude''

''Is that so?'' he wiggles his eyebrows at her, the way he knows causes her to fall into a fit of giggles. ''You just happen to love this immature dude''

''Oh, please. I'm still with you purely out of obligation''

He pretends to be hurt, and this time he locks arms with Star before she's even fully able to comprehend what's happening. ''That's fine, I'll just date Star instead''

Star could feel herself sinking down into the ground.

''You do that'' Jackie chuckles, eyes scanning through the second page. ''You'll come crawling back in a week''

They go on with their playful argument, and Star finds herself distancing herself on the inside.

The most Star ever did with Marco was place a kiss on his cheek.

It had been two years ago, back when Marco and Jackie had been only a year together, and the two had been off fighting some monsters they'd come across in another dimension.

It was purely out of happiness, out of adrenaline that they'd made it out the fight alive after having battled such huge and deadly monsters. Marco had only laughed it off, and they'd gone on their way. Star hadn't forgotten it, though, and the guilt had begun to overtake her completely. He wasn't hers, she'd gone over it in her head about a million times, he wasn't hers and she couldn't do that ever again.

She didn't.

She's meant to cut it off with Tom for a while now.

They're not serious (Marco merely thinks they're hanging out as friends), but they were too intimate to not be. Tom has known she's in love with Marco for years now, and doesn't shun her for it. He only wants her to forget her love for her best friend, he always reminds her, so that she can find her own happiness with him. Still, Star knows it's wrong to be with him, and yet push away his feelings as if they don't mean anything (because she knew that Tom loved her the way she loved Marco).

''I can't do this anymore'' she says, covering her nude body deeper into his bed sheets. ''I can't keep doing this to either of us''

He grabs her by the waist, his body pressed against her back as he places a kiss on her shoulder. ''Please, don't leave''

She doesn't say anything for the rest of the night.

She stays.

''You'll always be my best friend, Star'' Marco says to her one night, when they're sitting on the couch watching television.

She conjures up a smile, refusing to let her eyes tear up. ''And you'll always be my best friend, Marco''

Maybe one day, maybe in a few months, or maybe in a few years; she doesn't really know when the feelings will go away. All she can do is hope that it'll be soon. Star doesn't know how much more she can take it all, being a prisoner due to her own heart. She wants to wake up one morning and feel nothing when Marco walks out of his bedroom with bed hair, or when he laughs, or when he's doing his karate moves (she wants that, but she wants Marco more for now).

Maybe one day.