Chapter Thirty-One

Ultimate Help

"Thanks for helping me in the garden, Aleki. I didn't know you liked gardening."

"Gardening's okay. I used to work in my mom's all the time after she couldn't do it herself. I thought you could use some help after everybody stomped it."

I pull up a smashed plant that's not going to make it and toss it on the cloth tarp that I'm dragging along. "I appreciate your help in trying to save what we can of this mess."

On the garden's edge, my eyes catch Marie corralling Mahpiyah as she tries to worm her way into the underbrush. I appreciate you Marie. I'm not ready to leave her on a blanket by herself while I garden. Besides, she's trying to crawl now and she needs somebody to watch her constantly.

Looking down at the row of propped up, salvaged plants a feeling of satisfaction arrives, replacing the apprehension that was there. It's good to be working in the garden again. Dirt on my hands gives me peace and a connection with this new world. I pull a leaf, rolling it between my fingers, and smell it. The scent is full and green, but not pungent. Someday I hope to find plants to replace Earth's sacred sage and tobacco that will not grow here. Dan and I want to teach Mahpiya the ways of her forefathers – how to pray and smudge. Spirit, help Dan heal. Let him live to help raise his daughter. I pray many times a day for Dan, wearing him on my heart constantly.

Aleki and I work until lunchtime and then head back to the cavern for food and a rest during the day's heat. Our clever craftspeople have directed the cave's natural water flow into a series of carved basins against one wall. It's a place to wash hands before eating. There is even soap, pounded from long tubers dug from the interior. I take pains to use very little of it as I don't know when we'll be able to go back to the interior to go tuber harvesting again. My hand washing is interrupted by the hurry of heavy footsteps.

"Ang-ee. Daannn caaalll. Wannntsss tooo seee youuu and babbbyyy."

Without even drying my hands, I head for the infirmary. Mahpiya fusses as she anticipates lunch. "In a little bit, baby," I pat her bottom. I visit Dan daily, and it was only early this morning that I saw him. He's been slowly going downhill, but in the hours that have passed the change is pronounced. His face is pale and his eye whites have continued morphing into a pronounced yellow. His abdomen is distended and he moans in pain.

"Dan, I'm here. Mahpiya and I are here."

"It's bad, Angie, and they can't do anything. I wanted to see you and my baby . . . again . . . while I still can talk to you." He groans and closes his eyes.

"We're here for you," my voice chokes. I hear HD's beads clack right behind me and one of the medical staff, that I remember is a nurse, comes in with a cool cloth for Dan's forehead. He only moans. "I'm going to talk with the nurse, Dan. I'll be right back." He shows no indication he's heard me.

"I want to speak to you," I whisper. She nods and motions for me to follow her outside the room.

"Infection?"

"Yes. It's finally unstoppable. It's infected his liver, that's the reason for the jaundice."

"The swelling? It wasn't that bad this morning."

"His intestines are full of infection. It's overwhelmed his ability to fight it. We have a drain in the incision, but it's so widespread now, it's useless."

"I can't imagine the pain he's in. There's got to be something we can do."

"He's vomiting the alcohol we've been giving him. Can't even keep water down."

"How long can he last?"

"I can't say. Hours? Days?"

I thank her for the information and return to Dan and HD.

"Nooottt opppeeennn eyeees orrr speaakkk," HD reports, softly.

"He's dying. The nurse says there isn't anything anyone can to do help him, or ease his suffering. I can't stand this HD. I can't bear it that he's in so much pain."

"Onnn Yauuttt, iiifffff thiisss happpeeenn, weee freeee Yautja frommm lifffeee. Heelpppp theeeemmm diiieee."

"Some places back on Earth have assisted suicide. Nurse!"

I call for her and ask if there is any way she knows of to help Dan die with dignity. She looks rather shocked at my request, but seems to understand. "We have no pain control drugs, so I can't give him an overdose, which is basically how assisted suicide is done. He can't keep the alcohol down, so I can't think of any humane way to help him."

"HD, will you go get Seneca or Pranav, or anyone else of our friends you can find? We have to do something."

He's gone as soon as I finish my request. The nurse checks Dan's vitals and the pad underneath him. "He's breathing pretty normally, and his urine isn't dark. His heart rate is elevated, probably from the pain. That would mean his blood pressure is up too. I'm sorry to say this but I think he's going to be around awhile."

Dan's eyes crack open and he whispers, "No. I . . . can't bear this. Help me . . . please."

I sink to my knees at his side, placing Mahpiya on the floor. "I'm going to find a way to help you Dan. I promise."

His lips move slightly and he sinks into what the nurse calls delirium.

"What can we do?" Pranav's voice startles me. Seneca is with him, closely followed by Aleki.

"He wants us to help him die. He just asked me. He's dying and the nurse says there's nothing to save him or help him with the pain. He's full of infection. We can't just let him suffer."

"You want one of us to kill him?" Seneca gets right to the point.

"Yes," I husk. "Don't call a council meeting, don't debate. Just do it."

"Who can do this?" Pranav asks.

"I . . . can," Aleki hesitatingly offers.

HD growls emphatically, "Noooo. Iiii doooo. Cannn doooo wittthh nooo paiinn. Quiiickk. Clllleaann."

"But your promise, bro!"

"Thhhiiiss nooott haaarrrrm. Thiisss heeelllllp. Youuu learrrn welll Aleki, buuttt ttthhiiisss Iii dooo betttterrr."

"This IS help. The ultimate help. I say do it," Pranav states.

"Me too," joins Seneca.

Aleki nods and I turn to HD. "Go ahead."

"Youuu leaaavvveee Ang-ee. Iii nooottt wannnttt youu seeee thiiissss." He pulls a Yautja blade from his waist.

Gathering Mahpiya, I kneel by Daniel to whisper, "Goodbye," and kiss his check. With tears streaming, I retreat to our cave. There, Mahpiya crawls around on the leather rugged floor while I stay curled up on my bed, pulling the furs up to my chin in some small comfort. Memories of Dan play across my mind. I kept my promise. I got you help, Dan. I'll make sure our daughter knows about you. I'll show her how to smudge and teach her the ancient way to pray.

In a very short while, HD appears. "Dooonnneee." He answers my questioning eyes. "Nooo paiinnn."

"Thank you for your kindness to him. I couldn't let him suffer."

"Verrryyy Yautja. Prrraanaaav sayyy teeellll youuuu meemmorrrriaalll tomoorrrrooow evvveeeninnng."

"Good. We need to have a memorial."

"Yautja doooo saaaaamee."

"We are much alike, your race and mine. I'm glad you realized that."

He nods and lies beside me, easily collecting me into his arms and rolling over so that I recline upon him. We stay that way a long time. He strokes my hair and I listen to his heartbeat while keeping an eye on Mahpiya.

His low rumble wakes me from my trance, "Weee teeellll Maahhpiiiyaaa abbbouuuut Daaaan. Shhheee knnooowww hhheee brrraaavvee. Gooood maaaannn."

"Yes, we will. We'll make sure she knows about him."

Mahpiya sits on her father's lap wearing most of the gruel he is trying to feed her. He made the mistake of laughing when she spit some out and now she's intent on entertaining him.

"Smmmarrrttt babbbyyyy," he pronounces. She reaches out to try and grasp one of his tusks but can't reach. He holds her up and lets her play with one of his jaws which he wiggles, much to her delight. He rumbles softly, vibrating his tusks and she crows.

"Hey bro!" Aleki is at the door. "Weren't we supposed to meet up?"

HD hands Mahpiya off to me. "Yeeesss. Buusssyyy plllaayy wiiittthhh dauuuggghtterr. Gooo nooowww. Okaayyy, Ang-eee?"

"Yes, you guys go fight or whatever you're going to do." I laugh, "I'll see if I can scrape all this food off Mahpiya." HD gives me a face hug before he and Aleki take off.

"You need a bath, young lady," I say in mock seriousness. Mahpiya plays with a wad of gruel, smearing it on my arm. "Oh, thank you for that. Let's go bathe in the ocean, we need some sun. Maybe we can talk Auntie Marie into joining us unless she's feeling too pregnant."

We find Marie already at the beach and she happily joins our walk, holding her belly with her hands. I inquire how she's feeling. "Ready to pop, truthfully. I can't wait until Pranav junior is born."

"How do you know it's a boy?"

"I don't, but I like calling it that. If it's a girl we're going to name her Devi, after Pranav's mother."

"That's sweet. Have you given any thought yet to who'll father your next one?"

"Aleki's asked, of course. I told him I thought he'd fathered enough children. Did you know that twelve of the pregnant mother's are expecting because of him?"

"I don't doubt it," I laugh.

Marie becomes thoughtful, "I though I'd ask Seneca. He's so smart and I think he'd be a good father. And Pranav approves of the choice."

"Oh! You've discussed it with him."

"Yes, I wouldn't want to be with anyone he didn't approve of."

"You guys are just the best," I enthuse. "Did you know that?"

She laughs, "At least you don't have to share HD" then winks, "If you did, I'd be first in line."

"I'd share him with you before I did anyone else," I state solemnly, "but honestly, I'm glad I don't have too."

"Once you've been with HD, with others you'd never satisfied be," Marie quips but then turns serious. "How are you Angie? It's only been half a year since Dan's death. You seem to be okay, but as your best friend, I want to know."

"I'm . . . I'm okay. We'd grown apart and only got to be friends again at the end. I try to think of him in positive terms and that he'd be happy with how we're raising Mahpiya. Sometimes, I see him in her. Honestly, I'm doing well, Marie. I appreciate your asking. Hey, we're here! The water looks great. Let's swim."

At the oceans edge, industrious people have scooped out the sand for form a small tidal pool. Here, Mahpiya, Marie and I, and the rest of the soon to be born children with their mothers, can bathe, wade and play in the sea. It requires daily maintenance, and I am so grateful for those thoughtful enough to create our safe water haven. The high tides refill the basin and keep the water clean.

I gently rub some of the dried cereal from my daughter's arms, chest and legs before placing her in the pool. The shallow water is warm and she sits in it up to her fat waist, safely fenced between my legs. Her little woven bonnet shades her dancing brown eyes as she kicks at the sand bottom and splashes the surface with small fat fists.

We have a good life here. With HD's help, we will teach our children the value of submission in order to survive. When the Yautja come, they will be disappointed. Will HD still be alive when they do? What could he say to them? Surely they will hate him.

I restrain my thoughts. No sense in speculating on what can't be foretold. Just do your best each day. Teach Mahpiya what she needs to know. Love her and love HD. Love your friends. Do your best for the community. That is the purpose of life here on Abuela.

To be continued . . .