NOTICE: Hello readers, I apologize for how long this update took to be written and released. I know it took a lot longer than the previous ones but it was completely necessary. I feel much better and I now have the determination to continue writing the story. Thanks for staying loyal, coming back to read this after so long, and for reviewing my work. Now without further ado, the next installment of The Pursuit of Happiness...

The Pursuit of Happiness

Chapter 12

"Count Vlad Tepes Award for Excellence!"

Private Linux and the rest of blue team stood around the possessed robot that was being controlled by Tex. For those that don't remember, Tex was a freelancer that had been called to aid the members of blue team when Church died. Much like him, she died in a tank related way and was now back from the dead as a spirit. Her spirit was now possessing the body of a Spanish speaking robotic mechanic that had once the body of Church's spirit and, before that, was a member of red team. This was just another day in Blood Gulch...

"Tex, what are you doing in my body?" Church asked the freelancer with a tint of annoyance leaking into his voice.

"I stole it of course." She replied as she had done nothing out of the ordinary.

"I stole it first, give it back." Church added.

"Nope, not unless I can get another body."

"We don't have another body-"

"Well that's too bad for you, isn't it?" Tex mocked Church from beside the tank. Church looked to be fuming beneath his helmet, if spirits could even do so, but he didn't get the chance to say anything as another voice joined the conversation.

"Wait, I thought you name was Lopez and that you were a man." The tank, named Sheila, had said through its speakers. "This is all so confusing, I feel like my circuits are crossed..." The barrel of the cannon moved with each word the tank spoke which, given the tank's history with blue team, set most of the living members on edge. "... and I like it." Linux took a few steps back from the tank to ensure he wouldn't be the first targeted. Meanwhile, his teammate Tucker had taken to saying an iconic phrase for any male-be it organic or inorganic. Don't put your dick in crazy...

"Look-Tex-is there some reason you've come back from the dead or not?" Church snapped, focusing the conversation back on the subject of importance before it steered to far into randomness. The soldier in blue turned her attention from the tank back to the deceased leader of blue team before answering.

"Actually yes, I don't know if you've noticed but one of your team members has been acting differently." Her gaze scanned the entirety of blue team, going across Church, Tucker, Linux, and then stopping on Caboose.

"You mean Caboose? I've been trying to tell Church but he never seems to care." Tucker commented on the blue rookie of the team.

"Hey, Tucker? There's a fine line between not caring and not listening... I like to think I walk that line everyday." Church quipped at the cyan soldier but before any of them could continue, Linux finally piped up.

"Yeah, Caboose has been talking in a more threatening manor but nothing has actually changed." He turned to the blue idiot on the team before he finished talking. "In fact, Caboose hasn't killed a single person since Church died, so I'd say he's actually doing better than before." Linux turned back to face Tex and a silence encompassed them for a moment.

Tex turned her gaze back to Church before grunting to him. The blue leader had no idea what it meant so he remained in place and silently stared at her. She made the grunting sound but added a head jerk motion that was directed toward Caboose. This time Church tilted his head as if he understood some of the message but not the entire thing. Tex let out a sigh, the blues really could be dumb sometimes, before repeating the motion but adding another grunt to it. For some unknown reason, that seemed make enough sense for Church to finally understand what she was getting at. How adding an extra grunt to the motion made it more sensible was anyone's guess.

"Hey, uh, Caboose." The blue soldier turned towards him. "Why don't you go talk to Sheila-"

"-Okay!" Caboose shouted with a little too much glee. The blue Private jogged over to the tank before leaping onto it and blabbering to it. It was all very incomprehensible due to Caboose being excited. With the blue moron away from the rest of the team, Tex began to explain in more depth what she meant about Caboose and his odd behavior.

"Okay look, I don't know how much time we have before he gets bored of talking to the tank-"

"We got a lot of time if that's your concern." Church quipped but stopped when the freelancer sent him a death glare, not that he could see it but her body language said it all.

"Church, you know how I was given an A.I.?" The powder blue soldier nodded. "Well, I don't remember much about the implantation process but something I do remember was one of the scientists mention how the A.I. can jump from host to host via the radio."

"Let me guess, you want your precious A.I. back, am I right?" Church asked.

"No, you're gonna help me kill it." Tex corrected him.

"Say what?" All three blue soldiers said in unison.

"Yeah-you see, before I died I overheard Church's plan to warn the reds about me. The A.I. must have calculated the chances of survival and decided it didn't like the odds so it jumped ship... Then that pink bitch landed a lucky shot!" Tex growled the last part out.

"Hold up, if I remember correctly then that's about the same time Caboose started to call himself O'Malley. That wouldn't happen to be the A.I.'s doing would it?" Linux questioned.

"Actually yeah, that's the A.I.'s name, or at least that's its preferred name." Tex replied.

"Not to discredit you or undermine the seriousness of the situation but there is now an angry A.I. inside the head of a moron that can't operate the tank efficiently... I really don't see a reason to be as worried as you make it seem." Linux finished.

"Well dumb ass, if you had studied anything about artificial intelligence then you should know they have memories and who was the previous host?" It took a moment for the wheels to start turning but eventually everyone was on the same page...

"Aw crap..." Linux said.

"Okay, so let's rehash the plan one last time to make sure everyone knows it top to bottom." Church said to everyone, primarily directing his gaze to Tucker and Linux. "Tex and I are going to go inside of Caboose-"

"Bowchickabowow-ah!" Tucker cried out from Linux smacking him.

"Guys, this is serious. Me and Tex are going to possess Caboose and while the two of you take the tank to go get the reds to shut off their radios." Church waited for a few seconds to let what he said sink in before finishing. "Now is everyone ready?"

"Um, quick question." Tucker asked.

"Ugh, what?"

"How are we gonna get the reds to turn off their radios?"

"I don't know but you better do it fast."

"So we don't know what to do but whatever we do do, we have to do it fast?"

"Yep, pretty much." Tex chimed in.

"I hate this mission already." Tucker retorted.

"Uh, not to be that guy but we sure are wasting a whole lot of time just sitting here and talking. Time that could be spent fixing certain soldiers and destroying certain artificial monsters." Linux commented.

"Right." Church agreed before he turned to Tex. "Alright Tex, after you-"

"Yeah, no."

"What? Why?"

"You think I'm stupid enough to leave you out here with your own body?" Tex asked, fortunately she couldn't hear Church mutter the term Bitch under his breath before conceding.

"Alright fine!" The powder blue leader walked past her and shouted to his blue teammate. "Hey Caboose!" The blue rookie turned to him without second thought. Church rushed towards him, leaping onto the tank before literally leaping into Caboose's body. After the blue soldier jerked and twitched unnaturally for a second or two he slowed until he was just standing still and breathing. Quickly after, the ghost of the freelancer followed and the same result came of it. With the two inside of Caboose and the blue rookie just standing there breathing, the only two left on the blue side of the canyon were Tucker, Linux, Sheila, and Lopez.

"So... I guess we better head on over to red base huh?" Linux asked as he looked to Tucker.

"Yeah, I guess we should." Tucker replied before walking away from the tank. Linux went to follow him when he stopped and turned back towards the tank and the newly returned Lopez. The robot was saying something that Linux couldn't understand for the life of him but from the way the tank was responding, it seemed like it was something "steamy." He just shook his head before calling out to them.

"Hey, love birds! Let's get a move on, we need to hurry if we're going to stop that A.I. from escaping." The robot muttered something in Spanish before climbing off the tank and following him and Tucker. The tank followed suite, which just left a possessed Caboose standing in the middle of the field in front of blue base.

The four of them made their way to the highest hill in the middle of the canyon, with Tucker and Linux leading and Sheila trailing in the back with Lopez. The Spanish robot never left the tank's side and the tank never caught up completely due to the messy terrain. Yes the majority of the area in Blood Gulch was either flat grass area or hill, there were some spots with tree trunks and rocks coming up out of the ground. If you combine that with slopes that could be too steep for the tank to drive up, then you'd understand the frustration the two were having keeping up with the two blue soldiers. They didn't catch up until Linux and Tucker decided to stop on the crest of the highest hill.

"I sure hope the reds don't freak out when we're approaching with this tank."

"Speaking of which, how exactly do we plan on getting them to turn off their radios?" It was then that the canyon's resident mechanic chose to speak up to the two.

"Creo que puedo tener una solución a eso." It said to them but once again, every seems to forget neither of these two blue soldiers know how understand Spanish. Instead they looked to the tank for guidance; after all, she seems to know what he says most of the time.

"Um, care to translate tank?" Linux said while facing the tank.

"Oh, of course. Lopez says:[I believe I may have a solution to that.]"

"Okay, so what does that mean robot?" Linux asked.

"Solo llévanos a la base y verás ..." Lopez said.

"He said:[Just get us to the base and you'll see...]" Linux raised an eyebrow at the tank's translations. He didn't know if they were translating properly but everything Lopez just said sounded as suspicious as a grown man in a trench coat near a play ground.

"Okay, we don't really have a better option right now and if we fuck up then a psycho A.I. is going to run rampant on everyone here... I'm gonna have to trust you guys aren't I?"

"Si."

"He said:[Yes.]"

"I didn't need a translation for that one." Linux commented before turning around and facing the base. "Let's just hope this all works out as planned..."

"¿Qué plan?"

"[What plan?]" Linux put his hand on the top of his head in a attempt to sooth the oncoming headache, only to realize he still had his helmet on.

"Why do I get the feeling this is going to be one of the longest missions ever? Of all time?" Linux turned to Tucker and tapped his shoulder to get his attention. When the cyan Private turned around, Linux told him to climb in the tank. "Yo, hop in the tank so that we can use that thing if push comes to shove." Now of course, Tucker being the man that he is was against such a suggestion.

"Dude, you do remember that I have no idea how to drive that thing right?" To which Linux counter with a dead pan face, not that Tucker could see it.

"Because I'm a better foot soldier than you and I trust you're more competent then Caboose."

"Dude, if you have so much confidence in me being able to control that thing-"

"Hey!"

"-then why don't you drive it?"

"What are you crazy? I'm not getting in that thing, I still remember to the last person that drove it to red base."

"So why on Earth should I get in it instead?"

"Because until your but buddy returns from probing Caboose's mind, I'm the most competent soldier on the battle field-"

"Discutible[Debatable]."

"-so I'm in charge, now get your ass in the tank so we can get the reds to shut off their radios." Tucker just stared at Linux and Linux him. The stare down continued for about a minute before Tucker finally threw in the towel.

"Fine-*sigh*-but for the record, I just wanna say you're becoming more of an ass like Church."

"Taken into consideration, now get in the tank."

"Fine..." Tucker walked over to Sheila and flipped open the canopy lid and climbed into it before pulling the cover down.

"Alright, let's get down to the base." Linux said while turning around. "Lopez, you're with me, let's move."

"Sigo la orden de ninguno de ustedes idiotas.[I follow the order of none of you idiots.]"

"You're lucky I don't understand you robot, now keep up."

"Bastardo azul.[Blue bastard.]"

The two lead the charge to the enemies base, which apparently still had the busted up warthog sitting out in front of it. The jogged up to it, initially planning to use the hunk of scrap for cover, until they saw a certain someone leaping up from behind the car. The continued to do so for three or so times before stopping. Linux stopped in front of the vehicle and pointed his magnum at one end of the warthog. He tightened his fist before extending his index and middle finger and signaling for Lopez to go around the other side. Unfortunately, the robot had stopped paying attention to him and was now looking at the pink soldier running away.

Linux was rounding the front of the warthog when he noticed something. He noticed the rather loud sound of a tank engine... and it was getting closer. Linux had just enough time to leap to the side before the tank rammed through the warthog and caused it to explode. He quickly scrambled to his feet and started looking around, trying to figure out what happened. Tucker and the tank were rammed against the wall, Lopez was on the ground, and there was what looked like a dead red soldier. Yeah, now that he though about it the soldier looked like the orange one they had humiliated earlier.

He grimaced at the thought of him dying that way after having to humiliate himself. He was the enemy but damn... that guy had the worst luck of anyone in the canyon. Linux jogged over to Lopez and started checking the robot over for injuries. He was pretty sure Tucker and the tank were fine and when you considered the fact that only Lopez knew his plan to get the reds to turn off their radios, he was kind of important to them. He managed to drag the robot to its feet before checking it for injuries.

"You okay tin man?" Linux asked while dusting the bot off.

"Sí, estoy bien saco de carne. Ahora deja de quitarme el polvo como una madre.[Yes, I am okay meat sack. Now stop dusting me off like a mother.]" The robot walked away before Linux could finish and approached the tank and Tucker. Linux followed suit and when he arrived at the cockpit he took note of how tight Tucker's hands were clenched around the steering wheel.

"Tucker, out-now." He demanded of the Private.

"Yeah... okay..." The canopy opened up and Tucker climbed out and dropped to the ground with a thud, his legs being like Jello from the crash.

"Hey, do think you can back up a bit?" Linux asked the tank.

"Not a problem." The tank quickly revved its engine before reversing for about twenty feet before stopping.

"Okay, time to try plan one... Tucker, climb on top of Sheila, Lopez get inside of Sheila and do your business-"

"What?"

"Me estoy poniendo muy sudoroso![I'm getting very sweaty!]"

"-you should be able to hack into the reds radio frequency from here." The robot nodded before running over to the cockpit and climbing inside. There was a moment of silence before button clicking could be heard and then the iconic sound of the radio buzz echoed through everyone's comms. Linux turned to Tucker, who had managed to get on top of the tank and compose himself, and gave him the thumbs up.

"Red guys? Can you hear me?" The sound of an older male could be heard on the radio following Tucker's broadcast. If Linux's memory was right, it was the Sargent's.

"What in buttery goodness? Who is this?"

"It's me Tucker, I'm one of the blue guys. Look I don't have time to explain but I need all of you guys to shut off your radios right now-"

"Boy... It'll be a cold day in Hell before I take orders from you."

"Look it's really important alright? Normally I would just shoot at you and steal your girl friends but today it's different!" Tucker pleaded. "I need you to trust me on this."

"Well I may have spoke to soon. That is a interesting and well thought out-not to mention clever and timely I might add-proposition. Simmons, would you care to delivery our rebuttal?" The radio was filled with the sound of someone clearing their throat before another voice came through.

"Suck it blue!" Followed by another one.

"Yeah suck it blue! Now that's what I call and old school zinger. In your face blue, in your face!" With the replies that he received-and everyone heard-Tucker sighed. It was then that Linux took a crack at it.

"Yo, reds. While I don't blame you for how you reacted, I would've said much worse in I was you in this scenario, he's telling the truth this time. We actually do need your cooperation this time." There was a moment of silence across the radio. It almost made Linux think they had actually shut off their radios, until he heard their voices ring out again.

"Aren't you that guy I ran over?"

"Yeah, hi there-"

"How'd mah' bumper taste bluetard?" Linux stood there, finger off the radio button ready to say something mean or nasty in return... but then his eye started to twitch and a demented idea came into his mind. He pressed his finger back on the radio button, opening him up and the comms.

"Hey Lopez, you're up..." He turned around and walked behind the tank before pulling off his helmet. He reached into one of his pockets and pulled out some ear plugs before putting two in. By this time Tucker had already joined him behind the tank and Lopez had made his way on top of it. Linux handed the cyan soldier a pair of ear plugs.

"Why are you giving me these?"

"You're gonna need them." Furrowing his brow in confusion, Tucker took his helmet off and quickly put them in before putting his helmet back on. Linux followed suite and with in moments, Tucker knew why Linux had given him the head phones...

Lopez the Heavy
"Mi Amor Tiene un Canon Grande"
Señor el roboto the club remix '08
Metal2Metal Records
Directed by: Private Tucker

Oh boy...

NOTICE:

Wait! Before you click off of this page, I need some feed back from you! In this chapter of The Pursuit of Happiness I translated most of Lopez's lines to English by using Sheila but I also just added English captions for when I chose not to have Sheila translate. Which do you prefer? The captions so we always know what Lopez is saying? Or would you prefer a translator have to be present to understand? Thanks for you time.