(This idea just kinda popped into my head while I was reading the Adventures manga over Christmas...so here I am! Hope you enjoy!)

(Disclaimer: Pokemon and its trademarked characters/places/things do not belong to me.)

Perfect

So apparently it was a huge shock to everyone that Ruby was effectively retiring from contests at fifteen. I guess just do what you want, but retiring from anything at that age just makes you seem old. Since the announcement, he's been staying at home most of the time. Sapphire lives with Professor Birch, her father, but she keeps coming over to Ruby. Knocked on the door at two o'clock in morning, for what? Oh, "just to talk". Ruby of course was fast asleep (his little "beauty sleep", of course—he snores like an exploud). I told Sapphire to piss off and get some sleep.

I've been calling Crystal to see if she had a room available, but seems she was taking a room at Professor Oak's laboratory, and I guess that's at a premium. So I have no choice but to stay at Ruby's house, which he occupies on his own, while his Mom and Dad stay at the apartment above the Petalburg Gym to "patch things up" with the marriage.

Not that it's been a quiet retirement for Ruby. Ruby doesn't have a problem with cleaning—he's a real natural. It's Sapphire that leaves a mess every time she visits. Ruby effectively downgraded me to a doorman and personal servant, probably because of my diminutive height. I get to see who comes in every day. That's about the only perk. We oughta get an open and closed sign and official visiting hours; there're so many people. I'd get my sceptile to do the job for me, but even he'd go crazy and start slashing at the door. If it isn't the contest coordinator or the press during the day, it's Sapphire at all hours of the night (screw her little "moods"). I guess Ruby's a bit of a celebrity.

"Oh, Emerald, can you see who's at the door?"

Ruby met with White a few days back. I talked with White when I showed her in at the door. Annoying girl, the sort of prissy, simpering kind that worries about what kind of soap there is at the hotel and whether the décor in the room matches her wardrobe. And of course, since I'm short, I'm inevitably adorable to girls like her.

"Aw, thanks for taking my coat, Emerald!" she said. "You're so sweet."

"Sit down, White," Ruby offered. "I'll make us some tea."

"Oh, I'll do that," I started heading for the kitchen. It wasn't gonna work. Ruby would ask how to plug in the electric kettle, and burn himself silly on the teapot because it appeared "cute". White would need an overnight bag just to get a cup of tea.

"I can't believe I'm finally meeting you, Ruby!" White exclaimed, smiling widely. Fake. Totally fake.

"Oh, erm…don't mention it," he grinned widely, his ego unable to be restrained.

"I…I just wanna know your secret. How d'you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Tea's here," I walked in. Ruby and White looked around and under the table to find me. It's okay. I've gotten used to it.

But for some reason, this time I felt like I was walking in on a couple making love or something. I didn't want to be there. Like, I felt like I had to do my thing and get out quickly. So I did. I almost spilled the tea.

"Aww, he's so adorable," White said as I left.

"He's only a year younger than me, y'know," Ruby said in my defense, knowing that I could hear him. I've lived with him long enough for him to realize that I find a way to listen in, no matter what.

I resumed my position behind the door, holding a glass to my ear.

"Ruby, you just amaze me, how are you so…so perfect?" White began. "You're just…you're just so perfect. You're not even 18, you've got a solid career in contests, stable finances, and you're a great battler." White seemed the saddest about the last thing. I don't blame her. She was the only Pokedex holder to not be directly involved in helping stop a region-wide catastrophe, and she wasn't even directly handed a Pokedex by a professor—Bianca gave it to her. I always think the ones wearing the most makeup and laugh the most are the most insecure.

"Now, honey, about the battling thing, don't hold it against me. Norman just happens to be my father. I don't why Arceus did it that way. Just like Sapphire."

"Oh, Sapphire, isn't she—" Her Xtransceiver started ringing. "Oh, sorry gotta take a call. BRB."

I didn't ask Ruby about Sapphire. Oh, she was doing some weird research with her father, Sapphire told me the night before (at guess what, 2am!). Honestly, I think White and Ruby would go better together. They're about the same age, and have similar interests. And damn it, there's nothing like a prissy, loud, chatty, makeup-obsessed little bitch. And now he's got a companion.

White finished her call. "Sapphire…"—she picked up where she left off—"…isn't she your girlfriend?" White probed.

"No, she is not!" Ruby immediately replied. "We're just friends. She doesn't even visit in the middle of the night anymore." That was because I kicked Sapphire out the door. I giggled a little behind the door.

"Well, I'm sure you'll be perfect together," White said. "From what I heard, you saved the whole Hoenn region together—aww, that's just so romantic~!" Wow, she was brimming with jealousy. You could just hear it.

"Well, I guess it's hard to ignore Sapphire after going through so much together. We're good friends. We used to argue a lot, but now we've gotten older, the conversation is friendlier."

"Erm…between you and me, Ruby, are the rumors true? Are you…?"

Ruby isn't gay. I know that for a fact, I've seen the magazines in his nightstand when I was cleaning his room. Against all odds, he's straight. It's probably genetic—from his father, the fiercest, bravest gym leader in all of Hoenn. That's the only thing that pulls Ruby back from the edge. But wouldn't it be perfect if Ruby were gay? Wally's called a couple times. I've picked up the phone and listened in. Oh, nothing too dirty, just how's Ruby doing, how're his contests; generic stuff.

If Wally and Ruby were dating, Ruby would have to go over to Wally's place to take care of him. Sapphire and Ruby would be cool just being friends. Best of all, I wouldn't have answer the door in the middle of the night. And if Ruby moved, I'd have this house all to myself, and I could move out of the smaller bedroom.

"Well, it was nice meeting you, Emerald," she smiled at the door as I handed her coat.

I looked out at the night as the front door opened. There were so many stars. It's rare that you get a clear night in Littleroot, especially in October.

"Wow, I hadn't realized it was so late," Ruby mirrored my gaze at the night sky. "Time flies, I guess."

"Nonetheless, it's been hype," White remarked as she quickly put on her coat in the chilly night. "I'm in Hoenn for a few more days. Perhaps I can come back some other time?"

"Sure, how 'bout you come over the day after tomorrow? Sapphire'll be here."

White nodded and shut the door behind her.

"Y'know, between you and me, Emerald…"—Ruby beckoned for me to come over—"I don't know how White does it. She's such an organized, efficient businessperson. And busy too, she had to take so many calls during our conversation. I didn't even want to tell her that I had retired from contests—I'm surprised she didn't know."

"You feel lazy?"

"I dunno, Emerald. She just seems so…perfect. The perfect businesswoman. She's a great speaker, on the telephone and in person. And she's got the golden touch or something. You know she made P7,000,000 in one weekend organizing a fashion show? Oh, of course you know, you heard our entire conversation, didn't you? Don't you think I didn't see you take a glass from the dish rack."

I nodded.

"Which reminds me, Emerald, how's the erm…business going?"

It's not easy being the third wheel, especially when you're practically the slave of your own peer. So I have a little side job. I get calls at least three times a week about pokémon that have gone berserk and require my services. Thank Arceus for those calls that get me out of that house. I make a handsome profit from it, too. (Although I started to doubt myself when I heard about White's success.) I'm saving to get myself a nice little room in Professor Oak's laboratory, so I can be right next to—oh, never mind.

"Oh, there was one case up in Sootopolis that was sorta interesting, four days ago," I began. "It was a sealeo, I think. I chased it all the way to the center of the town before I finally was able to aim properly and calm it down. The guy gave a nice tip, too. Wallace, I think his name was."

"Wallace? That's my Master! Did you talk with him?"

"No…not beyond the usual business transactions."

"Oh. Okay." Ruby sat there for a bit, as if he didn't want to talk with anyone, but at the same time didn't want me to leave. I couldn't help but thinking that Ruby liked all the attention, all the press. I always think the ones that are the most chatty and social are really the loneliest. "Well, I'm going to bed," he finally said. "G'night."

"Good night," I said.

"Oh, and…if Sapphire knocks on the door tonight…wake me, will you?"

"Erm…sure." Gotta get his beauty sleep, huh. The walls in the house are way too thin. Guess I'll be wearing the earplugs again tonight.

"And Emerald, do me a favor, make your bed every morning. I can't do that for you every morning. I'm not your mother." You see how he treats me!?

Ruby and White turned their nose up at the hot mess downstairs in the backyard. It was two days later, and Sapphire had invited Platinum over, to practice battle technique. I sat on the sidelines, watching closely, ready to provide support if needed.

"Empeleon!" Platinum exclaimed. All her pokémon fainted. The battle was over.

"Well? How d'ya like that?" Sapphire has a huge ego. That's the problem with the both of them, her and Ruby. Neither of them has seen what it really means to care for someone. They don't know Crystal very well, and for sure they don't know the work she did at the orphanage, when I was there.

I rushed to help Platinum with the Potion. She started talking to Sapphire. "That was an excellent match. I must concede that I have much to learn from you."

"Didn't you say you were the daughter of a researcher?" Sapphire asked.

"Well…" she laughed modestly, "…not a true researcher. But my father, Mr. Berlitz, is one of Professor Rowan's key assistants."

"No kidding! I'm Professor Birch's daughter."

"Ah! Another thing to add to our list of commonalities, so I see."

"D'you always wear clothes like that to battle?" Hey, I was about to ask that! Sapphire always steals things from me. She even stole my shoes once, the ones that store all the Pokeballs inside them, the ones that don't even fit her…! Probably she thinks 'cause I'm small that I don't need as much things as she does.

Her Highness, on the other hand, was wearing her usual: her black silk blouse underneath her thick woolen jacket (which she had taken off), her pink pleated skirt, with her white and pink cashmere cap, to guard her perfect little princess hair.

"I know, it's just a drab little thing, isn't it?" Platinum complained. "I should coordinate an outfit especially for battling…like yours. Who designs your outfits?"

Sapphire gave her a funny look. Then she started laughing. Platinum laughed along with her. The quiet laughter of Platinum could barely be heard over Sapphire's roar. I wasn't sure whether Sapphire was laughing at Platinum's "princess behavior", or at the fact that anyone could possibly like the clothing that Ruby makes.

"Ya find it funny too, Platinum?" Sapphire acknowledged, tightening the bandana that Ruby had custom made for her. Platinum nodded back.

I laughed along with them, pretty loudly at that. But I don't think they heard me.

"Oh dear…Empeleon's feeling rather poorly. I think it best that I use a stronger Potion. Pardon me." Platinum rummaged through her purse. "Where're my scissors?"

"Here…gimme that." Sapphire almost snatched the Hyper Potion can from Platinum. "You don't have to cut the seal with scissors in a nice straight line. You a'int got time for things like that during battle. Just hit the bottle real hard on the ground. See?" Platinum flinched at the loud pop. "The pressurized container breaks the seal. Here ya go."

"That's brilliant! How did you discover that?"

"I don't really use Potion that much. I learned that trick from Ruby. He said his father taught him that."

"Your knowledge is invaluable, Sapphire. I hope to become a better battler through training with you."

"Thanks, Platinum. Maybe in exchange you could teach me how to read better." Oh yeah. I feel sorry for Ruby. He has to help her read the directional signs at the Pokémon Center, for Arceus sake! I don't get it. Even without parents, I taught myself to read using the picture books at the orphanage. I guess it just matters what kind of environment you're exposed to growing up.

Or maybe Ruby's right. Sapphire is a barbarian. "You read so much more than I do, Platinum. I only know the things I deal with in life."

"But despite that, I may be so humble as to say that knowledge of the written word can never be in lieu of that from battle experience, of which you have acquired under the esteemed tutelage of Professor Birch and your dear friends." What language was she speaking in? I bet Sapphire was even more confused than I was. You could see the glazed, illiterate look on the Hoenn trainer's face.

"That…that was a good battle though," Sapphire settled with saying, being lost for words. "I wouldn't mind doing this again, maybe when your pokémon feel better. How 'bout tomorrow at 8?"

"But…"—she eyed the window—"…what about Ruby? Would he not desire your attention?"

"Oh, he'll be fine. He finds people to pass the time with. Y'know, he gets bombarded by the press every day; they keep asking why he retired and when he's getting back into contests—if ever. I get the brunt of the paparazzi if I go during the day, so I have to go during the night: really late, like 2am or later."

"You do?"

"Yeah. But every time I go, Emerald kicks me out."

"Perhaps he is jealous."

"What do you mean!?" Sapphire gave her a funny look. Oh please, who was she kidding. For a princess like her, Platinum was clueless with romance. I mean, she stayed with Diamond and Pearl throughout her journey…and nothing happened. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I kinda get it, actually. I camped with Crystal for a few weeks as she did some research in the Ilex Forest for Professor Oak. We stayed in the same tent, and…nothing happened.

"Emerald is jealous that you're spending time with Ruby and he doesn't have anyone to talk to. He does seem rather lonely." Platinum offered.

Sapphire sighed. "Maybe, but I never know what the little guy's thinking, though. He's seemed really talkative at first, but after you get to know him, he's kinda quiet. What d'you think, Platinum?"

Ahem, I'm right here! Sitting right next to you! Right here, the definitive source about myself, surprise surprise? And you don't ask me, you ask Sapphire? I didn't even want Sapphire to be my friend. Just that old man Birch practically shoved the three of us together thinking that by some divine destiny we'd hit it off. "Oh, their three names match so well, 'Ruby', 'Sapphire', 'Emerald'; let's just put them together and hope they and their pokémon don't kill each other!" Ha.

"Well, guess I can't ignore Ruby, we've gone through a lot together. He's become less annoying, and more…well, more like a gentleman, I guess. I thought about sending letters to him, but I thought that'd be going too far." Yes it would, Sapphire. My hands would get burnt from steaming all your envelopes open. Hey, I always find a way to spy on people, okay?

"I just don't get it. I'm not battling the way I used to. Toro's still doing great, but I always slip up on my commands and stuff."

"Nonsense, Sapphire, your technique was excellent. Your blaziken's sky uppercut was perfect."

"Almost perfect. It used to be perfect. But I've been under a slump. It's…well, it's…growing up." Oh, this is embarrassing. I don't wanna hear this. I hid in a little spot under a table so they were sure not to see me. "I get these moods. I can't even face my opponent sometimes, 'cause I just wanna break down in tears. Sometimes I wake up in my bedroom and I get so sad I can't even get up from bed anymore."

"Because you're alone?" Platinum could guess right off the bat. She herself must've had that feeling for almost all her life, living alone in that great big mansion. I guess I'm lucky in that way. Money can't buy you great friends.

"Why can't I just spend time with Ruby? Why do I have to fight with a horde of total strangers with big cameras to talk to my closest friend? Why can't Ruby make life easy and just fall for me? Why can't things be perfect like that?"

"Cyrus from Team Galactic once said that," Platinum recalled. "He yearned to create a perfect world single-handedly, but it is only through a balance of multiple entities in the scale of life that true perfection can be attained."

"Well, Ruby a'int pulling his weight," Sapphire pouted, almost like a little girl. Is it possible for you to get younger as you get older? "I'm getting desperate," Sapphire complained. "Y'know I even started doing some contests with Ruby, just so I could spend time with him? You should see Dono in his costume. He looks like a fruit, for Arceus sake."

"I once participated in a contest in Sinnoh. For me it was an enjoyable experience, but I can sympathize with your aversion towards it. The judges are so obsessed with perfection, beauty, dancing all the moves correctly, executing the move at just the perfect angle. Checking all the boxes, just to get the perfect score, to pass or fail, to proceed or not. For someone like you, I can imagine it's not your cup of tea."

Sapphire nodded. "Emerald, did ya pick up the Potion seals and stuff?" She found me under the table.

"Oh…erm, yeah." I got up slowly, thinking that would make me seem less ashamed. I was found again. Wouldn't it be easier if either they could see me, tall and proud; or they couldn't see at me at all. Like I was invisible or something.

But if it was only so black and white. Why can't life be a Pokémon contest, a really good one? Why can't things just be perfect?

Maybe I do share something in common with the Sapphire Bitch—Birch, whatever her name is.

"You should've seen the clothing Ruby made for Bubu*," White started the conversation at dinner.

"Was it pretty?" Sapphire said that. Sapphire!

"Not just pretty; perfect. I was especially proud of this creation: double-layered silk, pink lace trim. Arceus, it was perfect!" Ruby's eyes glistened in the light.

White nodded in agreement. "A perfect garment…made by a perfect guy!" She reached to unabashedly hug Ruby, who was sitting next to her.

I was surprised how silent it got when Sapphire started glaring at White across the table, as if she was she about to kill someone. I wouldn't mind a little action at the table now and then.

Platinum saved the conversation. "Well, I regret that none of you were audience to the sky uppercut Sapphire's blaziken delivered upon my empeleon. An almost perfect execution, I dare say."

"Aw, you shouldn't say that, Platinum," she smiled with approval. I never understood the fangs on her teeth. Ruby says it was genetic or something, or that she got her teeth filed when she was very young. When she was angry it made her look really pissed off. I never battled Sapphire personally, but I don't think my sceptile could survive any of Toro's attacks under Sapphire's command. But when she smiled affectionately like was doing right now, it almost looked kinda cute. Not that I care or anything.

"'Almost perfect'? What do you mean?" Ruby teased. "The sky uppercut wasn't completely perfect? Sapphire did something wrong?"

"You just have to find everything to criticize me for, don't ya?" Sapphire protested.

"Big deal!" I chimed in. "Perfect, almost perfect, what does it matter? We're all perfect in our own ways."

"This coming from a guy who pees out the window!"

"I've kicked the habit, okay!? It wasn't easy!" I shouted at Ruby. White giggled. She thinks it's so damn cute when I get angry. Just wait 'til I punch her in the face.

"Now now, settle down, everyone!" Platinum interjected. Oh mercy me. We should not behave like this in front of Her Highness. My mostest humblest sincerest apologies. I kept glaring at Ruby for most of the night.

"Did you like watching the battle, Emerald?" White asked me. "You seemed to be having fun, I saw you cheering on."

I guess I smiled a lot, because Platinum and Sapphire were smiling at each other. And I was staring at the battle 'cause it was either that or dress-up time with Ruby and White. I guess to the casual observer, it looked like the perfect afternoon.

Here we all were, being all perfect. And yet so miserable.

Wouldn't it be nice if Sapphire, Ruby and I got along? We'd be the perfect trio. Ruby and Sapphire would be the perfect couple. If things were perfect, Crystal would be my partner, and I could devote my half of my time in the intellectual environment of Professor Oak's lab with Crystal, half in the quiet solitude of Ruby's home. It would all be so perfect that way.

But things are never perfect. Ruby was destined to be a powerful battler, just like his father. Sapphire was destined to be the beautiful, pampered daughter of a researcher, just like Platinum. To any casual observer, Ruby and Sapphire would be perfect together. But perfection never works. So Ruby and Sapphire are just friends.

To any casual observer, I was destined to be a poor, jobless, uneducated orphan stuck in a rotting facility in Johto for the rest of my life. Perfection never works. So here I am.

What makes us think that perfection is failure?

END

*also known as "Gigi"

(Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment or check out my other stories!)