Olitz One shot - Simply Meant To Be

The chilly winter air instantly freeze the tears sliding down her uncovered face. She's uncertain how long she's been standing watching couples glide across the skating rink ice, hand in hand, smiling happily. What's their secret? How did they learn to love, to share their life with another person?

He said he loved her but she has no idea what that means. Her father said he loved her mother but he beat her every now and then because he loved her so much or so he said. He often said he loved her too, then without warning he up and left her and her mother to be with some skank half his age that worked in his office.

Three days, four hours and 35 minutes after her first serious boyfriend said he loved her, she caught him taking her roommate up against the kitchen wall in their apartment screaming, "you're all I want or need baby". So of course, when Fitz said he loved her she ran like the wind never looking back. To Olivia, I love you is code for get ready for serious pain or disappointment.

Xxxxxxx

It's been three weeks since she left Fitz standing in the middle of this very same ice rink calling out her name. She never said word just let go of his hand, skated off the ice and went home to cry. Why did he have ruin everything? She was actually allowing herself to feel happy, at least she thinks that's what she felt was happy. Fitz was caring, catered to her needs and gave her space when she needed it. He found her foibles endearing, her interests intellectually stimulating and her shy standoffish way an irresistible challenge.

The days following her unilateral decision to breakup have been beyond difficult. Fitz has sent texts and made calls to her dozens of times each day. He keeps saying how much he loves her, pleading with her to know what he did wrong to make her abandon their relationship. She never responds. What could she say? The decision was a preemptive move to avoid inevitable heartache. More tears flow as she realizes she is the perpetrator of pain this time in the relationship and the hurt feels even worse than being the recipient.

Today is the first day Fitz hasn't called or sent a text. She suspects he's given up, deciding to move on without her and it's all her fault. Masochism compelled her to return to the scene of her crime, the place where the baggage of her past brokenness encroached on her present and promises to her steal future. Tears are inadequate now, the anguish welling up within her demands release. Sobs and gut wrenching cries escape her shivering body.

"Are you okay dear" an older couple asks hearing her cries and noticing the collection of icicle tears hanging from Olivia's cheeks.

"Miss are you okay?" They ask again.

"I'm sorry did you say something?" Olivia responds though she is still not quite present in the moment.

"We asked if you were okay dear. You seem to be in distress. Can we help? Do you need us to call someone for your?"

Olivia chuckles. "No, I'm fine. I'm just realizing I've destroyed the best thing that ever happened in my life".

"Oh my," the woman says. "Here dear, why don't you have seat. You want to talk about it? We're excellent listeners, you can even call our kids for references if you like".

"Honey we don't have a phone", the man reminds.

"Oh, you're right. I guess she'll have to take our word for it". They all grin. Olivia for some reason agrees to the couple's proposal and accompanies them to an empty picnic table nearby. The man stops at a vendor cart and buys three hot chocolates.

"Everything is better with chocolate dear. Drink up and take the chill off, you look as if you've been standing here for hours."

"Only four, Olivia says matter of factly.

"My dear it's close to freezing out, you could catch your death of cold".

"Doesn't matter", Olivia whispers in defeat.

The woman wipes the icicles from Olivia's face. "Now tell us what has you so sad".

Olivia begins to share her story with the friendly seniors. Once she starts she can't stop, the floodgates to her soul open up allowing her years of heartache, disappointment and pain to rush out in a 30-minute synopsis.

"I'm sorry I don't know why I'm dumping all this drama on complete strangers. Forgive me. Thank you for your kindness". Olivia stands to leave, now feeling embarrassed at using the couple as pop up therapists. The woman gently grabs Olivia's arm to stop her from leaving.

"Don't go dear, please. Let's talk some more. That's quite a burden you've been holding inside. But trust me, what you've done to protect your heart is natural. As human beings, we accept pain and disappointment as a part of life, however, the way we choose to cope with those negatives is different for everyone. No one wants to go through life alone, nor do they want to suffer the pain of rejection. The reality is love is a risk. Loss, rejection, hurt feelings all come with the territory; it's unavoidable. We can minimize the risk by being honest with ourselves and recognizing the vibes- I think that's what you young people call it, we give off".

The man takes over, "dear I want you think hard now, the people that hurt you, did they make you think you deserved to be hurt? Did they make you feel unworthy? Did you or do you believe no one will ever love you?"

Olivia starts sob again. The woman wraps her in a caring embrace.

The man continues. "The man you say you hurt, did he ever treat like the others? Did he make you feel less than? Did your gut ever send up red flags about him? Did he ever disrespect you or humiliate you? Most importantly, do think him capable of doing such things to you?"

Olivia stops sobbing and starts assessing her time with Fitz. "I'm such a fool."

"No dear you're a person whose been hurt to the core and is willing to sacrifice a chance at happiness to avoid being hurt again. I think because your boyfriend is the polar opposite of what you've experienced in the past, you're afraid to let him in all the way because if the relationship doesn't work out you think you'll never recover."

Olivia vigorously nods her head. The man and woman take each take one of Olivia's hands. "We know it's scary to open your heart, to give yourself to another person but trust us dear the chance is worth taking and the reward spectacular. Please don't let the sins of others deprive you of love. And please don't let the bitter insensitive lies of others become your identity".

"What if I'm incapable of giving love? I'm not sure I know what love is or how to show it?"

"Dear we can tell you are beautiful inside and out and that you have an enormous capacity to love and we've only known you half an hour. Your boyfriend sees in you what you haven't allowed yourself to see. Darling love is a precious gift don't turn it away, grab onto it and hold tight. Protect it, nurture it and most importantly give into it freely and often. We promise you will always come out ahead."

"I've really hurt him. He stopped calling today. I think he's decided to move on. I've screwed up so badly, he can't possibly want to have anything to do with me. I've lost him."

"Darling you're not going to know where you stand with him unless you talk to him. It's Christmas Eve, maybe he's out with friends or family".

His parents are traveling in out of the country for the holidays. Maybe you're right, he probably is out with friends, he has quite a few. I can go wait for him at his apartment. I...I... can try to explain myself".

"That's the spirit darling. Go tell him the truth, tell him you love him because even though you say you don't know how to love you must or else he wouldn't have fallen in love with you".

All three stand, ready to go their separate ways. "I cannot thank you enough for taking the time to talk to me and share your wisdom. How long have you been married?"

"We've been together 43 years all together".

"Wow, that's inspiring".

"Forgive me again, I never asked your names".

"I'm Tempest and this handsome guy is Thomas. Friends used to call us TnT because we were dynamite".

"Cute, corny but cute", Olivia titters. "I'm Olivia by the way". They hug one another one final time and part ways.

xxxxxx

It's almost midnight when Fitz rounds the corner to the hallway leading to him apartment. He's preoccupied with the day's events and of course thoughts of Olivia. He still hasn't a clue to why she left him. He keeps replaying the day over and over again in his head searching for some hint he overlooked. Nothing comes to mind, all he remembers is it was the perfect day, the day he realized he was in love with Olivia. He was so happy he could not wait to tell her. He thought standing in the middle of the skating rink holding hands gazing into each other's eyes was the perfect romantic way to tell her. What had he missed? She sprinted away from him as if her life depended on it. She never said another word to him and cut off all communication. He just wants to know why. He wants to know if it something he can fix. Is that too much to ask?

He opens his jacket and reaches for the keys in his inside pocket. He's almost to his door when he sees someone sitting on the floor in front of his door- it's Olivia. He stops dead in his tracks. Olivia hearing the jingle of keys looks toward the sound and jumps to her feet at the sight of Fitz. It's only been three weeks but the stress of their breakup is evident in his face. She feels guilty and ashamed at being the cause of his sadness. She has to make things right, she has to let him know this is all on her shoulders. He walks up to his door never taking his eyes off of Olivia. She can tell he is confused, angry and hurt all at the same time.

"Fitz I'm so..."

Before she can finish her sentence, he cups her face in his hands, his lips crash into hers delivering a smoldering deep passionate kiss. They both start to cry. Separation has taken its toll on both of them. They embrace, holding each other so tight vertebrae crack.

"I'm so sorry Fitz, please forgive me. Please forgive me. I'm so sorry. I never want to hurt you. I was afraid. Please forgive me. I love you...love you so much".

And there it is the admission that brings catharsis. Olivia cries turn to wails of painful release. Fitz fumbles with his keys to open the door. He manages to get the door open while still holding on to Olivia. They stagger through the door wrapped in each other's arm alternating between deep lip locks and loving hugs.

Fitz breaks their embrace to take off their coats and turn on the heat. He then takes Olivia by the hand and walks her to the couch. He has yet to utter a word. They sit down holding hands gazing into each other's eyes. Fitz wipes the tears from Olivia's cheeks and she does the same for him. He smiles, happy she has returned but he needs to know what happened, why she ran.

He takes her hand and kisses it, "Why Olivia, why did you leave me? Did I do something wrong?"

Olivia caresses his jaw, " No Fitz you did nothing wrong, this is all on me. I screwed things up. I was so afraid you were planning to leave me I left before you had the chance to hurt me".

"Olivia I had just told you I was in love with you. Why would I leave you? Do you really think I'm that shallow or callous that I would you say I love you as a prelude to blowing you off? I'm missing reason why you would think that of me".

"Fitz, you have to understand up until I met you that is exactly what people did to me. My father, my family, my boyfriends; they expressed loving me just before they abandoned me. I've learned to keep my guard up and only give so much of in a relationship as a defense mechanism. With you I gave more of myself than I planned. You gave me hope and I was afraid to trust that hope. I knew I loved you but I couldn't run the risk of you rejecting me. I wouldn't survive the loss of you or your love. I... I..." Olivia covers her face and sobs. "I have to be honest with you, I'm still afraid Fitz but I'm willing to take a leap of faith if you'll have me. I'll understand if you don't want to take me on and my emotional baggage".

Fitz places his fingers on Olivia's lips. "I love you Olivia, I am in love with you. You are the most important person in my life and the love of my life. There's nothing that you can do I won't forgive. You are an amazing woman and I count myself lucky having you in my life. You have shown me more love than anyone outside of my parents or grandparents ever has. Olivia, you are beautiful inside and out and your capacity to give love is what fuels my love for you. Yes, I feel you hold back a part of yourself but what you give is tremendous and enough to fill my heart. I can only imagine how 100 percent of Olivia Pope will make me feel. Yes, I'm willing to take a leap of faith with you because you're worth it and anything more than what we already have now will be icing on the cake.

Olivia is overwhelmed. Fitz thinks she's worth it. He's almost repeating verbatim the words of Tempest and Thomas. She has no words to describe how she feels. All she can do is grab hold of the man she loves and never let him go. "Fitz I will love you for the rest of my life".

"That's all I can ask or from you Livy. It's late let's go to bed". He takes her by the hand and leads her to the bedroom. He stops abruptly. "Wait here I have do something real quick". He walks over to the fireplace mantle and lights a candle next to a framed photo. Olivia curious, joins him.

"My grandparents died three years ago on Christmas Eve in a car accident. I always light a candle for them. They're my example of true love". He hands the photo to Olivia.

"We used to call them..."

Olivia finishes the sentence for him, "TnT because they were dynamite together".

"Yeah, wait I never told you about them, how did you..."

Olivia covers her mouth, the photo Fitz handed her is of the sweet couple she spent time with talking to earlier in the day. She drops to her knees shaking her head in bewilderment. Fitz follows her to the floor.

"Olivia what is it? How did you know about my grandparents?" Fitz repeats.

Olivia recovering from the initial shock tells Fitz about sharing a cup of hot chocolate with a wise and caring couple at the skating rink. She tells him how she talked openly about past with them and how they made her see how much she loved him and how she needed to him. Fitz is dumbfounded. Both remain speechless for the rest of the night. They sit on the couch wrapped in each other's arms and holding the photo of Tempest and Thomas all night overjoyed at receiving the best Christmas gift of their lives -confirmation their love is simply meant to be.

The End

Xxxxxx

I hope you enjoyed this first in a series of one-shots. I take the train to work because LA traffic is too nerve racking. When I'm sitting, listening to the train wheels chugging along the tracks and people watching I get these random story ideas. Nothing, at least so far, that will develop into a full blown multi chapter story, just little glimpses into the AU of Olitz. This my attempt at a Christmas story. What do you think?

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and will be blessed is ways you never thought possible in the New Year. Happy New Year!