A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

(CAUTION: Randomness! Nonsense parody alert!)

"Use the Force, Ed..."

*CLAP*

*BOOM!*

"THAT WAS NOT WHAT I MEANT!"

"Ha! I knew using force is always the answer!"

"Ling Yoda, I got you your food! Now, will you finally teach me how to make a Philosopher Stone?"

"Heh heh, nope!"

"...huh?"

"You see, I'm not even an alchemist!"

"Wait, WHAT!"

"IT'S A TRAP!"

"Admiral Armstrong, will you stop stripping for once...!"

"YOU DO REALIZE THAT THE ART OF WARNING OTHERS OF TRAPS THROUGH STRIPPING HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN MY FAMILY LINE FOR GENERATIONS!"

"Sensei, I see a wall in the clouds..."

"That's Fort Briggs. A place where only the fittest can survive. I managed a whole month in the middle of winter!"

"Whoa! I wanna go there!"

"Not before you finish your training, you brat! Fifty laps around the house! And don't forget to get the groceries after you're done!"

"Yes Sensei!"

"Admit it, Leia Hawkeye, you're attracted to me!"

"Just get back to steering, Han Mustang, sir, or I'll shoot you."

"Sensei... Is Father my father?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"No, I mean... Is Father my father!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I'm asking if Father is my... oh, forget it! They're both Bearded Bastards anyway."

"AAAAAH! MY HAND!"

"Calm down-"

"YOU CUT OFF MY FREAKING HAND! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!"

"What's the problem? It's just your automail arm, right?"

"I'd be better off if you cut off the real one! Winry's going to kill me! I meant it, you're going to pay for this! Literally!"

"It would have never happened if you weren't so stubborn! Why don't you just agree to join me? Together we can overthrow the Fuhrer and bring balance to this country!"

"I'll never join you!"

"Obi-Hughes Kenobi never told you what happened to your brother!"

"He told me enough! He told me you killed him!"

"No, I am your Brother!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-! ...wait. Al?"

"Yup. Hi Brother!"

"Alphonse! Whoah, I didn't recognize you! What the heck happened to you? Why are you wearing that helmet and armor?"

"I lost my body during Human Transmutation to resurrect our mother. Unfortunately, my soul's all that was left of me."

"That's too bad. I'm sorry, Al..."

"At least I'm still taller than you."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A BEAN-SIZED MIDGET WHO'S SMALLER THAN A MOUSE DROID!"

"I didn't say anything like that, Brother."

"Whatever. But what's with the ominous breathing, Al? Do you even need to breathe?"

"Well, um, that's... uhhh, you see..."

*Mew.*

"..."

"..."

"...There's a sign 'No Animals Allowed' on the door, Al."

"Dammit."

Author's Note:

...Because making sense is totally overrated xP

I've had this on my computer for a while, but... I don't know, I didn't think of posting it before now. I just had a good laugh writing it.

Thanks for reading! Please like, favorite and review, if you can, but most importantly - read on and enjoy! ;)