DUN DUNANA DUN DUN DUN

BURR: How does Hamilton – the short-tempered,

Protean creator of the Coast Guard,

Founder of the New York Post –

Ardently abuse his Cabinet post;

Destroy his reputation?

Welcome folks, to –

BURR & COMPANY: THE ADAMS ADMINISTRATION!

BURR (continued): Jefferson's the runner-up, which makes him the Vice-President

JEFFERSON: Washington can't help you now. No more Mr. Nice President.

BURR: Adams fires Hamilton; puts all his efforts on the shelf.

Enough of me talking. Here comes the man himself!

(Six beats of music and then…)

ADAMS: The hasn't been one god-damn democracy that has not been overrun with pride,

Worked itself to the bone and then committed suicide.

Now, my constituents, allow me to importune

That if Hamilton's elected President, then that's our fortune!

I'll list my grievances: we start with ABC,

Then Hamilton decides to run his mouth, "Bonjour!" to XYZ.

Now, children should be educated and instructed in the principles of freedom.

AND AN ISLANDER IS NOT THE MAN TO LEAD 'EM!

COMPANY: Oooooohh!

ADAMS (continued): Newsflash, kid! This is America, not St. Kitts.

You stink this country up more than my two horses' shits.

No more excuses; we wanna hear confessions, sir.

Tell these people you're as close to Britain as the Hessians were!

I'll tame this little lion with the moral compass gone awry,

Erase his ass from history and hang him out to dry. Now -

ADAMS & COMPANY: Historians will argue how these next events transpired.

HAMILTON: (opening door) You wanted to see me, sir?

ADAMS: Hamilton, yes! You're fired!

Get out of my office.

(HAMILTON storms off, JEFFERSON enters)

JEFFERSON: Secretary of the Treasury –

JEFFERSON & ADAMS: Straight Outta A Job!

JEFFERSON (continued): Ain't that a headline befitting of a phony.

ADAMS: That Creole bastard doesn't have the balls!

He wouldn't dare defend himself.

(Beat.)

ADAMS: He will, won't he?

HAMILTON (offstage): Sit DOWN, John, you FAT MOTHERF[redacted]!