Disclaimer: Not mine, nope nada. The plot though is mine.
Awakening
It made me want to laugh and cry at the same time. After all, when you suddenly wake up in the body of a new born, in a country that you didn't know and the language is completely different. Then well, yeah what can you do. Well nothing. So I lay there and just started crying. What else could I do. And when my parents didn't appear out of nowhere and were like "OMG our daughter turned into a baby of unknown gender, let's go to our respective homes and then clear this mess up!", I just couldn't find any comedy in this situation anymore.
I just didn't want this. I really didn't, unless I had died in a very comedic and stupid way. Because that would at the least maybe, probably drive out the boring in the death part. So if I am supposed to be dead, at the least I hope it was something like milk, a banana peel and a nail. Because that could cause someone to die, I think? But I was just there. After a few minutes of crying and then just stopping with it and settling down on tiredly drained. At the least I hope that, I am not in some sort of anime/manga/book or something. Because Bastard was one where I really didn't want to end up in. And I mean really, really didn't. So I can only hope and pray to the goddess of Fujoshis to aid me in #1 Finding many ships; #2 getting' ma Slash, Fanfiction, Dj., Yaoi fix; #3 in getting some goood~ lovin' and shipping done like fuck yeahhhh and #4 Get the couples to do m-preg!
Surviving and becoming strong is obviously included etc. etc. but really I really need my Fix. I really like my Yaoi. Like a lot. So while I lay there contemplating the wonders of Yaoi, a tall male Inuyoukai approached. He was staring at me. Said something. I didn't understand him at all. But he was hot. So he has my attention. He is making faces at me. Baby faces. Well I am a baby now. I don't know why I am having such an easy time adjusting to this kind of thing. The dude had face tattoos. And pointy ears and all that fajizzle so damn he is smoking. Then apparently my brain decided "Damn it's too much work to have a brain of a 17-year-old active, so were gonna lock you down a bit, like semi-permanently and make you a frigid bitch." And no then I most certainly didn't know that I was a bitch, in canine terms. I mean a bitch is a female dog after all.
In the time towards Izayoi's death
I was soaking up as much knowledge as I could. Surprisingly that was a lot. Writing, speaking, dancing, singing and all those ladylike things I worked hard on. The same for medicinal knowledge. I wasn't allowed to go outside the mansion. Only with an escort. Or one of the servants. And then only for knowledge's sake of herbs and all those wonderful things. But in the gardens I was allowed in. Luckily. I truly felt like a bird in a cage. A beautiful cage. Made out of steel covered in gold.
I was lonely truly I was. So I studied and learned as much as I could. Read as much as I could. Learned how I could make medicine. And I had a name. My first name, to me my true name, I wouldn't tell anybody. But I have been given a new one: Asami; Okaa-sama as Izayoi wanted me to call her, named me her little Asami-hime. I wasn't a princess. Though I loved the kimono and yukata given to me to wear. They were beautiful, if restrictive. I truly am not a princess, wasn't then and still am not. But my 'Mother' was proud of me called me her little genius.
I wasn't a genius. Never was never will be. Just a seventeen-year-old in a child's body. A girl luckily, but I wasn't supposed to exist. No a little boy named Inuyasha was supposed to be alive. Not me. I was supposed to be dead. That alone brought upon me a cold indifference towards everyone but Izayoi. She didn't deserve my indifference so I tried to be nice. I tried to love her. But I just couldn't. She was human. I was not. And she was going to die. Soon. That's that. And I cannot bring myself to get attached. I had died once already. I had tried to be optimistic and find some new happiness. But the dyeing part seemed to leave me cold.
Having died and been reborn. It makes you cold. Memories, clear but emotions. They were roiling, bubbling but unconnected. I was myself, but a me that didn't love her family, a me that didn't love her best friend anymore, platonically, if anyone asks, she was like a sister to me. A pair of twins separated at birth. I remember us joking about that then. I cannot bring myself to care about that. Somehow I just couldn't. Just like I couldn't connect to the people around me. They would die so swiftly. And so my emotions, too much to handle for my young body, where restrained. Put on lockdown. I am just waiting for the explosion.
And so the years passed 10; 20 and then 40.
Izayoi didn't age much. Our servants left us after calling us monsters. Okaa-sama was shaken up about that. I just believed that she didn't age much because of whom she was mated to. Inutaicho you know how to keep your wifey alive indeed. I just delved into my studies. Okaa-sama and I drifted apart. She loved me. And I had started to care for her, to a certain extend. I studied hard. Grew herbs, made medicines to sell. The village near our housing didn't like us much. To them we were a threat. But they grudgingly took the offered medicine and medical aid, in exchange for food and yarn. So that we could weave our own clothes. I learned how to do these things well enough.
The day
Tsuyu no man naka
Kyou wa ame agari
Namanurui kaze
Shizukana yomichi wo
Toori nukeru natsu ga chikai
I was singing quietly. I was gathering crops, and herbs. Also packing up some food stuff to go collect some herbs in the forest. Okaa-sama was getting worse. I would leave the next day. I sighed. She would die one way or another it seemed.
Hikari kagayaki
Kono me wo ubai
Te ni shitaku naru
Furete mitaku naru
Anata wa kono hotaru no you
There was no avoiding it. What a pity. She was a pleasant enough conversationalist. And good company to the boot. My heart started to ache.
Mou ii kai mada mitai
Mou ii kai sono kokoro
There was a bush of roses. No idea how it got there, but they were dark red. And large in full bloom. Their symbolism. Grief and sorrow. Dark Tidings were to come to wards me apparently. I doubted then, and they were confirmed. Izayoi wouldn't survive. I have known for a while now already.
Anata no kimochi ga mienai
Nozomu hodo kurushiku naru
Sore demo kirai ni narenai
Ahh the weather is beautiful. I just continue working, a few more and then I am finished. I return. And get ready for the night. Okaa-sama is standing. She must be feeling a bit better. I love the outside.
Fuwari fuwari to
Chuu wo mau hotaru
Sukoshi hanareta basho kara
Miru no ga ichiban ii
Sotto sotto
I just continue to sing. 'Mother' hums along. I really love this song.
Tsukamenai todokanai
Tsukamenai sono kokoro
Jibun dake ga omotte iru'
Kanjiru to nakitaku naru
Onaji kimochi ni wa narenai
Mou ii kai mada mitai
Mou ii kai sono kokoro
Anata no kimochi ga mienai
Nozomu hodo kurushiku naru
Sore demo kirai ni narenai
'Jibun dake ga omotte iru'
Kanjiru to nakitaku naru
Anata no kimochi ga shiritai
Anata no kimochi ga mienai
Sore demo kirai ni narenai
It was hot. Hothothot fire was everywhere. I had to leave leaveleaveleave I didn't want to die again. No. I refused to. Not again. No. NO.
Natsu ga chikai
I awoke covered with something. I sat up. It was a red Kimono. Blood Red, the colour of Roses. I stood, wobbly. I was naked. The kimono fit just right. With the white d hadajuban, koshimaki and juban on I looked kind of presentable. After I found a river to wash myself in. I managed to salvage some soaps, by a godly intervention. Thank you Kami-sama. Of the Fujoshis. After I was finished I just sat there. My eyes where burning, my throat felt dry and it was hard to breathe. Why. Why? WHY?!
Summer had indeed come closer