I sat in the seat that had been mine for 7 years and tried to find the strength to breathe, to be the leader I was, to see the joy in the moment, to give permission for the crew to celebrate. We were, as near as dammit, home! & 7 long years had failed to tell my brain what my heart must have known, that after all this time, home was the people, not the place. Voyager was my home. This was my family. And I had lost it. I had lost him.

I had found joy for Tom, well who couldn't. I was so happy to hear the baby, see the euphoria on his face. My own had beamed a smile so wide that I thought my heart might break for his happiness, and then let him go. 'Mr' Chakotay to the helm indeed. 'set a course for home' . I had waited too long to say anything else. The bridge was gloomy, I had no smile, and I can feel the bridge holding its breath, just wondering.

I can do this. As I prepare to put on the show of my life, draw that beaming smile together, he saves me. Turning round, and locking eyes he tells me to breathe, that we are home now, that we have done it. As if it is the most natural thing that I should have needed a moment to regroup. As I smile at him and then at Harry to the side, I can feel them all breathe and smile back at me.

Bouncing up, I put my best captain's strut to use to be by his side. Hand on his shoulder, we both face the viewscreen and I stage whisper in his ear a thankyou. His hand comes up to mine as he looks up with a smile. Maybe, just maybe, I might not be too late. Patting him, as I have many times before, I laugh and make a more formal thanks to him for his dedication. That from the moment I saw him in the viewscreen I had known we would have a partnership that would be turbulent but forgiving, would be the saving of voyager and also me, that the command team we had created had kept me strong and balanced my risk so that voyager was safe, that I was proud of us, and the crew. That once I had said that I couldn't imagine a day without him by my side, and that still holds true. I hold his eyes, and I hope that he can see that mine are clear and honest. As the moment stretches, I break the tension, as I also tell him that I am not sure whether he will get to fly any more shuttles for me. That draws laughter from the bridge and a wry smile from Chakotay

Turning away, I order Ensign Baytart to draw up a list of all our pilots, so that they each have an opportunity to pilot voyager in this last leg home. I thank all of them. I say the final moment, whether it is docking or landing – I haven't received those orders – will go to Tom Paris. Tuvok estimates a 6 hour journey to the solar system at our current speed of warp 6.

Now I am back in captain mode, I have a big smile, I ask for lights, I ask that Tuvok arranges that all personnel go to their primary stations in 2 hours for a formal tour by the command team of the ship. That we will start in sickbay and proceed through engineering, science, the mess hall, the transporter room where I will meet tactical, and astrometrics before we finish on the bridge. I look at Chakotay for acknowledgement and he nods before returning his gaze to the screen. I ask that the captains assistant meets us in sickbay with a holoimager, for her professional photographer duties. I can imagine the squeak of excitement and the pride she will have on hearing this.

I send Seven back to astrometrics, asking her to use this time to compile headlines of what we know about the borg, and weapons/tactical advantages to beat them. I am not sure that the borg are in any position to attack earth in the near future, but I am not going to take chances. And Seven needs to have something to sell to Starfleet.

Before she leaves I tell her that I will be meeting with Icheb and Sam Wildman there to see what choices we have to ensure his position and happiness. To her question, I respond that I would like to offer him a home, and I think Sam might do to. She looks visibly surprised by this, and states that she believes she should be next of kin. This is a day for surprises! However! I give her my proudest smile and a hug to disarm her. In my confidante voice I assure her of my joy that she is ready to consider motherhood, and that if she and Icheb would both want this, then I would be equally happy. I advise her to consider whether she is ready at this stage. She is young and making huge strides in her personal development and individuality, and I say that I wouldn't want her to commit to anything that might restrict her choices in life now they are so wide open, whether it would be adopted motherhood, or any fledgling choices she may have made romantically. That she should have the freedom now to fly, try new things, find out what it is she really wants. She gives me an uncertain eye, so I wink and say that I was aware of the 'gravimetric' holoprogram and that holoromance with a safe father figure was no real substitute for the edgy excitement of new love. That should keep her on her toes! I quickly move back to Icheb, perhaps she could be an unofficial sister instead, and that I have always felt a deep connection with her, not unlike mother/daughter, and would always be there for her too. There are tears in her eyes as we hug, and she agrees that this is something that she would want. As she turns to leave, it is me she looks at with faith and hope. I am sure I love her too. Damn, if she really wants Chakotay, how can I deny her?

Harry is hardly able to keep still. Ensign Eager to the last. I turn right towards him and as I open my arms he runs in for a hug and swings me around. I am quite sure this isn't captainly behaviour, but I laugh and place a kiss on his cheek. I feel him blush and grin, and need to remember this isn't the schoolboy who joined us 7 years ago but a man grown. The success of this mission is clearly going to my head! When I say this, the bridge laugh. I ask him to plan a party for when we reach our destination. I have made a swift decision that we will spend another night at least on voyager as just us, and tomorrow can bring what it may. I need to make sure that the voyager family know they are my family and have my love. He will also be getting the holoimages from naomi of our command tour, and he can choose the best and proudest ones to release via pathfinder to our family and friends. I just hope someone caught an image of us punching through the damn borg sphere. That is an image I want to see!

I go back to Tuvok. My dear and oldest friend. I put my hand to his face and rest my forehead against his as a blessing and thank him with all that I am.

Now to work. Chakotay, join me in the ready room.

-x-o-x-o-

Notes:

I could quite fit all the story in, so there are some additional sidelines

just good friends- the backstory of Janeways and Parises

s/12336134/1/Just-good-friends