This is my one shot that came in 1st place in the FSoG Fanfic Obsssed Writing contest. Thank you to everyone who reviewed and helped me win. I have said it before and I'll say it again, I have the best followers on fanfiction.

Cheers

GG89 xoxo

Christians pov

I knew this was a bad idea.

I said over and over again that I was not comfortable with this but would anyone listen to me? No.

I am pacing back and forth and I don't know what to do.

My natural instinct is to go there, grab her and get her the hell out of there but I know my family would give me hell.

It has been a major sore spot for weeks now. Ever since Katherine "Fucking can't keep her mouth shut" Kavanugh opened her God damn mouth!

The ring was barely on her finger when Kate said the words that lead to this night.

"Steele, I am going to throw you the mother of all bachelorette parties!"

I protested. A lot. But I could not get my own way.

Why did she want one of these parties? I had a few beers and cigars with my brother, father and Ethan. I wanted Ana to maybe have a spa day but oh no! Princess Kate wanted, In her words "The mother of all blow outs"

Ha! If you want a blow out Kate then suck my brothers dick to the root but don't take my girl on a girls gone wild night out one fucking week before our wedding!

It's now after 2am and Ana is still not home.

I texted her and when I didn't get a reply I called Sawyer and he told me that the barracuda bitch AKA Kate, had taken her phone at the beginning of the night.

I know my girl is in Seattle but that's all I know.

Ana made Taylor promise that I would not keep tabs on her all night.

All I know is that Ana, Kate, Mia, My mom, Gail, Andrea, Ros, Gwen, Claire from SIP and a few of Ana and Kate's friends, left Escala today wearing pink teeshirts that said "Ana's last night of freedom tour 2011"

What do they think I am going to do when we say our vows? Chain her up and never let her see the light of day again?

I can't take this anymore.

"Taylor!" I shout and he rounds the corner from his apartment with a fucking smirk on his face.

"Yes, Sir"

"Enough is enough! Where the fuck is my soon to be wife. Where the fuck has she been all night? What the fuck has she been doing all night and why the fuck is she not home yet!"

"I am not at liberty to say, Sir"

"What in the ever loving fuck? I pay you! I am your boss and I asked you a question now fucking answer me!"

"Sorry, Sir. I have orders from the big boss"

"Big boss? I am the mother fucking big boss! Who are you talking about?"

"Gail, Sir. She made me promise that I would not interfere in Ana's night otherwise she would..." He actually blushes like a girl.

"She would what?"

"Tie my balls to the wall, Sir"

"Oh" I cringe.

I know Gail and Ana have gotten very close since we have been together. Ana's mom is a waste of space that could not be bothered to come out tonight even though I offered to send my jet.

Gail has become like a second mother to Ana and I know she is very protective of Ana.

"OK. Balls to the wall, I get it. They are coming home tonight though?"

"Yes, Sir. In fact I spoke to Sawyer about an hour ago and the limo was dropping off the other ladies so they should be home soon"

"Well why the fuck did you not tell me this before!"

He raises his eyebrow at me in a silent message.

"Yeah, yeah. Balls to the wall"

I dismiss him and as he walks away I swear I hear him laugh.

At almost 3am I hear the ding of the elevator and then the door opens.

Ana comes stumbling out and falls over landing on her ass with a drunken giggle.

She's Soaking wet, Bruised and covered in glitter.

What the fuck?

"Chris...Chris..." Hicup "Chris...Helloooo Mr Gwey"

Shes completely intoxicated.

I walk over to her and help her up.

"Ana? Why do you have bruises on your hands and why are you wet and glittery?"

"Yous like me wet Mr Gwey" She snickers and then kisses me.

She smells and tastes like strawberry vodka.

I pick her up and take her to the sofa where I sit her down.

"Ana, where are Sawyer and Gail? Did they not come up with you?"

Shes so drunk but she is an adorable drunk.

"I...I...made them take the service..Ele...Ele...Elebrator cus I wanted to..to...fuck you on first sight" She grins at me and with the glitter on her face she actually looks like a drag queen version of the Joker from Batman.

Her hair is all over the place and when I inspect her more closely I see that her knuckles are bruised but I don't think anything is broken.

I look at her hair more closely as see that she has confetti shaped likes dicks in her hair.

"Ana, what happened to you tonight? What happened to your hands?"

She looks at her hands and has to bring them closer to her face to focus.

"I punched a bitch" she tells me innocently.

"You punched someone? Who?

She falling asleep so I shake her gently.

"Ana! Who did you punch?"

"I punched someone?...Oh, yeah! I members...Slapped in the face...with a dildo" She mumbles and tries to fall back asleep.

"WHAT! Ana! Focus!"

I run into the kitchen and make some espresso.

When I get back to the main room and see Ana I drop the Espresso all over the floor.

"What in the hell is that!?"

Ana has removed her teeshirt leaving her in only her tiny shorts and bra.

On her torso, someone has drawn in what looks like a sharpie maker, a giant dick!

Ana is laying with her legs wide open, slumped back while she traces the dick with her finger.

"What the fuck is that?"

"S'my dick" She giggles.

"Wait there while I make you a coffee to sober you up and then I want to know everything"

"Yes, Sir. Mr Grey Sir" She salutes me and then starts laughing again.

I can't help but smile at her. Even though she is wasted she is still adorable and sexy.

I quickly make her a big black coffee but when I go back into the main room she is gone.

"Ana?" I look around and see her shoe on the stairs and then further up is her other shoe.

I follow her shoes and then find her bra on the floor outside the playroom.

"Ana?"

When I open the door I find her stood by the chest of drawers with a dildo pressed to the drawing of the dick on her stomach. Its the clone of my own dick that we made a few days ago.

"What are you doing?"

"Supposed to be your dick but mine is ugly!" She actually starts crying and then throws the dildo down.

"Ana, here. Drink this" I actually hold the coffee to her lips and it takes me almost ten minutes to get her to drink it all and sober up a little.

I place her on the chesterfield couch and start interrogating her.

"Ana, why are your hands bruised? Why are you covered in glitter? Why are you wet? Why do you have a dick drawn on you and who did you punch?"

"Christian?" She looks at me like she is just now understanding where she is.

"Yes its me. Can you tell me what happened tonight?"

"Nope. It was girls night. No boys loud" She grins at me and then moves so she is straddling me.

"I want sex"

"You're too drunk"

"No I'm not. Let me show you" She smiles and then kisses me.

She starts to shimmy down and then she clumsily pulls down my sweat pants and boxers.

"Thats what I was talking bout! Bestest Dick like Ever!"

She plunges her mouth down onto my dick and starts sucking hard.

"Whoa! Ana!...Holy Christ!"

I know I should stop her because she is drunk but its the best blow job I have ever had!

She starts to slow down and then she just stops.

When I open my eyes and lift my head I find her fast asleep with my dick still in her mouth.

Great!

I gently pick up my little drunkard and take her down to our room. I remove the rest of her clothes and then put her to bed.

Looks like I will have to wait for the story until she has slept this off.

THE NEXT AFTERNOON.

"Ughh...Oh God...My head..." Ana starts mumbling and then quick as a flash shes out of bed and running for the bathroom where I hear her throwing up which she has been doing on and off all night.

I help her and then she washes her mouth out and I help her back into bed.

"How are you feeling?"

"Is that a trick question? I feel like I've been hit with a truck"

"Do you remember last night?"

She starts to think and her face changes from a look of confusion to horror and then she starts laughing.

"Ana, I was very patient with you last night but I want answers!"

She rolls her eyes and then gets more comfortable in bed.

"What do you want to know, Grey?"

"Why are your hands all bruised? Why were you soaking wet last night? Why were you covered in glitter? Who did you punch and why the fuck do you have a dick drawn on you?"

"Well last night me and the girls went for a wonderful meal in a private room at Canlis that your mom organized and then we...um...went to that new Magic Mike bar by the market"

"YOU WENT TO A MALE STRIP JOINT?"

"Christian, its more like a dance group"

"Did you see their dicks?" I am fuming.

"Um...well, I saw one but only quickly"

"What the fuck Ana!"

"Oh Calm down. It's not like I gave him a handjob. We watched a few dancers and the drinks were flowing. When your Mom was getting a lapdance we had..."

I jump out of bed.

"What do you mean my Mom was getting a lapdance?!"

"Christian, do you want to hear this story or not?"

I grit my teeth and get back in bed.

"Continue"

"Thank you. As I was saying, your Mom was getting a lapdance and when I say lapdance, I mean she was sat in a chair and some guy in a thong was dancing around her, not touching her and she was handing him $1s. We were all having a great time and then all the girls handed me gifts. Someone, who shall remain nameless got me a ...um..."

The soberer she is getting the more of my shy Ana peaks out.

"Um, someone gave me a dildo. A really big one. Like...20 inches long"

"You are not using that!"

"I don't want to because number one, Ouch and number two, it was a gag gift. Ha, gag gift! Now I get it" She laughs and then when she sees I am getting mad she stops.

"So My mom was getting lapdance and you had just been given a two foot long dick. Then what?"

"Me and Gail went to the bathroom and after I had finished peeing I came out the stall and Elena was waiting for me"

"What? Where was Sawyer?"

"In the limo where I made him stay after he had checked the club out"

"Why did you make him stay outside?"

"Because I wanted to enjoy myself and let loose and how embarrassing would it be for Sawyer to see me get gifts like handcuffs and dildos? It was bad enough your Mom saw it but come on, Christian. I am with Sawyer day in day out and I didn't want him to see all the sexy underwear my friend bought me"

I don't want him looking at that either so she made the right choice.

"What did Elena say to you?"

"She was basically harping on about how I was no good for you and blah blah blah. I lost it and I punched her. She fell down and when she got back up" Ana stops because she starts laughing her head off and its another five minutes before she has calmed down.

"Oh God my ribs. When..When she got back up...Gail came out of nowhere and smacked her across the head with the two foot long dildo!" She starts laughing again and this time I join her.

Go Gail!

"Christian, you should have seen her face. Gail told her to get lost other wise she would ram the dildo so far down her throat that it would come out the other end and she would be fucking and sucking at the same time"

"Gail said that? My Gail?"

"Pretty sure she is Taylor's Gail but yeah she said that. She was pretty drunk at that point. Anyway, Elena left before anyone else could see her"

Like my Mom. That would have been one hell of a clusterfuck.

"Now the glitter and why you were wet"

"The dick comes first"

"Excuse you!"

"This" She traces the sharpie dick on her torso.

"Kate said that I was practically attached to your dick because according to her we are always doing it"

"Well shes got that right"

"We played this game where we had to try to draw our guys dicks. Thank God your Mom sat that one out because Mia said she would faint if her Mom started drawing your Dad. Ros also sat it out because she said dicks were gross. We were all pretty hammered at this stage so and I was a bit off and even though you have a mega dick, I added like an extra five inches to it. Then Kate had the bright idea for me to always have your dick even when I'm not with you so she traced my picture out on my belly"

"Thats supposed to be my dick?"

I inspect it more and its almost as wide as it is long and its only got one really big ball!

"I was really drunk at that point" Ana tells me when she see's my frown.

"As soon as you finish this story I am taking you in the shower and I am rubbing this dick off of you"

"Kinky" Ana giggles.

"So we have covered why you are bruised and why you have a drawn on dick. What about the glitter and the water?"

She looks uncomfortable and then takes my hand.

"I want you to remember that I love you and it was not my fault"

"What did you do?"

"Mia and Kate...made me get a lapdance. The guy was covered in glitter and he...um...kinda rubbed up against me and it transferred onto my skin"

"You're smothered head to toe!"

"It's not all from rub off. He was dressed like a fairy princess for some reason and most of the glitter was from his magic wand"

"That better not be a metaphor!"

"It's not. He was very nice and not at all pushy and he had most of his clothes on. Well, he was wearing hot pants and a boob tube with fairy wings"

"I thought male strippers were supposed to be like firemen or policemen?"

"I guess because my theme was kinda Disney princess he thought he would be like a fairy from sleeping beauty" She shrugs.

"OK so we are almost there. Last question. Why were you all wet?"

"Because Mia and I fell into your moms pond"

"You were at my parents last night?"

"I went in to use the bathroom when the limo dropped your mom and Mia off and then Mia insisted she help me because I was drunk but she was more drunk and we ended up in the pond. I'm not really sure what we were doing down there"

"You do know that you could have gotten really hurt last night?"

"I was fine, baby. I have a great group of friends and they were all looking after me. I know I had a lot to drink but it was my last hurrah"

She snuggles down and lays on my chest.

"Last hurrah? Just because we are getting married I still want you do be able to have fun with your friends, Ana"

"As long as my best friend is there then I will have fun"

"Kate?"

"You. You're my best friend Christian. I love you and even though I enjoyed myself last night, I missed you so bad. Not being able to text you or speak to you was hell. I can't wait to be Mrs Grey"

"And I can't wait for you to be Mrs Grey. One more week" I kiss her and snuggle down with her.

We sit quietly for a few minute and then she starts belly laughing.

"Whats so funny?"

"I just remembered. Do you remember my friend I introduced you to yesterday called Becky?"

"The blond?"

"Yeah. When we were drawing pictures of the dicks she confessed the last person she slept with was Jose and when she drew his dick she basically just dotted the paper and said "Took me the same amount of time to draw his dick as it did for him to cum"

When she tells me I almost fall off the bed with laughter.

"I knew he was dickless"

"Did you know you are not normal?"

"What do you mean?"

"There was like twenty strippers there last night. Most were walking around in thongs and not that I was looking but not one of them filled them out half as good as you fill out your boxers. What I am trying to say is you have a huge dick"

"Thanks. I think. My dick is not to happy with you at the moment though."

"Why?"

"Because last night you started sucking me half to death and then you fell asleep with the head in your mouth"

"Noooooo"

"Yep. Got me all hot and bothered and then left me hanging"

"Sorry about that. How about you join me in the shower, then we can grab some food because I am starving and then we will spend the rest of the day in bed with me making it up to you?"

"Sounds like a plan, Baby"

Little did they know but that wild night changed the rest of their lives.

Because Ana was drunk and hung over the next moring she forgot her pill.

Because she forgot her pill, that morning when they were getting hot and heavy in the shower, They conceived their son, Teddy.

A few years later Christian walked into their bedroom at the house on the sound and suddenly started throwing glitter on Ana.

When she asked him what he was doing, he told her that the last time he washed glitter off of her they made their beautiful son.

This was his way of saying he wanted Blip number 2.

THE END