-HG-

Red Hair. Freckles. Long gangly arms and legs. Before I would have associated these things with love, companionship, and safety. But now, they only remind me of betrayal. Ron Weasley, the man I thought I was to marry. The man I thought I would spend every morning smiling at from the other side of the breakfast table with, the man I thought I would cuddle before sleeping every night.

I used to dream about my studies, exams, and books. After I slowly descended into the trap that was teenage love, my dreams changed. I would dream about him, being with him. Countless nights were spent in blissful ignorance, dreaming of our wedding day, and assuming that it was to come. Now my dreams are different again. I dream of darkness, failure, rejection. My mind goes over that fateful evening when I saw that letter coming from that unfamiliar owl. The letter that, unbeknownst to me, would change my life as I knew it.

That letter came two weeks ago. I've had my time of recovery and depression. And now that time is over. I'm coming back stronger, and now I'm determined to make sure that he knows I'm not suffering.

"Four inches, please." I smiled at the muggle hairdresser that was carefully and delicately pulling apart my messy curls. He indicated the length that he was going to cut, and I nodded. I hadn't cut my hair in a long time, preferring to let it grow all over the place, and simply use magic to prevent split ends. I had forgotten the joys of muggle hair cutting, the relaxing head massage given as your hair was being washed, the princessey feeling you got as someone fussed over you.

Over the past few days I had been trying to immerse myself more into the muggle world, and had been having an enormous amount of fun, surprising myself. I had forgotten what being a muggle was like. I first decided to pay more frequent visits to the regular world after the breakup, to help me get away from everything that reminded me of him, but now, it was more than that. I enjoyed it, I enjoyed the feeling of being a normal human, muggle girl. Twenty four year old woman. Close enough.

Sadly, my time spent in regular London had to be limited to weekends, as my work at the ministry kept me busy every other day of the week. I have to say, I am at least relieved that Ronald's job application at the ministry was rejected – at least it means that I don't have to see him. I see Percy though. Bill too, whenever I go to Gringotts. Most of Ronald's family didn't wait to hear my side of the story before passing judgement, they believe his every word. The only Weasleys that cared about my point of view were Bill and Fleur. Not even Ginny. I'm grateful to Bill and Fleur, I really am. The last two weeks have been two of the worst in my life, and they helped me to get through it. I just wish that Ginny believed me too. Harry doesn't either. He's been distant, which surprised me. I thought our friendship of over twelve year would last a breakup that didn't even involve him. But then again, Ron is his best friend. He chose Ron over me.

Do I miss Ron? Yes, maybe I do. But more than just Ron himself, I miss the moral support he and the rest of his family gave. I'm not doing so well without it. I'm not doing hopelessly I guess? Not anymore anyway. Fourteen days, eighteen hours and fifty-seven minutes have passed since the end to our relationship. Now, I am fine. I will go back to being Hermione Granger, The Brightest Witch Of Her Age, but this time with the added title of 'single'.

Should I stay single? Or should I start anew. Ron was my only proper boyfriend, besides the short not-exactly-relationship I had had with Viktor Krum. I don't want to die alone do I? I don't even have to answer that question. I need to start again, I can't stay hung up over him forever. I'll find someone new. I'll be fine.

I wanted to change myself, not be the same as I was. Hair, done. Clothes were next. I pushed open the door to a muggle boutique near to the hairdressers. A bell rang as I entered, and an employee soon came to welcome me into the shop.

"Hello, my name is Mandy, how can I help you today?" She was small, with straight raven black hair. Pretty.

"Just looking for now, thanks." I smiled at her.

"Let me know if you need anything," she said cheerfully, and started to refold clothes that had been messily placed on the counter.

I quickly swept my eyes over the walls of the boutique, looking for things that were different from my usual style, but not so different that it was obvious that I was reinventing myself. My gaze fell upon a simple black high-waisted skirt. I would usually never wear a skirt like that, sticking to below knee simple professional attire. But I was different now. I took a deep breath, and began to shop.

Dear Diary,

I think I'm over him finally, I think I really am. I know I'm going to be okay. I won't allow myself to not be okay. I'm strong enough. Maybe this breakup isn't such a bad thing after all. I am changing myself, into what I'd like to think is a better version of me. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger, right? I'll stop my hiding away, my avoidance of the man I loved, and come back better. I'll talk to Harry, talk to Ginny, I'll have my friends back. Just because Ronald and I broke up, that doesn't mean I can't be friends with them anymore. Ronald does not dictate my life. He's not a part of it anymore. And never will be again. Tomorrow, I will begin to show the new and improved me. I'll go to work as normal, just looking and feeling different, with a completely changed mind set. Maybe people will notice, maybe they will not. To be perfectly honest, I don't care either way. I'm not doing this for them; I'm doing it for myself. This will help me, so I couldn't care less about what others think. I'll just be proud of myself for changing, and getting through this. Maybe I'll re-enter the dating scene, maybe I won't. I won't completely close that option though. Eventually I will, I just don't really know when yet. Hermione Granger will not remain hung up over an ex who cheated on her after over six years of being together. No. I will not. I will not.

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falloutgirl567