FORGOT TO SCREW THE BOLT

Quick Author's Note:An absurd comedy oneshot that came into my mind for absolutely no reason. It came when I was surfing TV Tropes and stumbled on the YMMV page for Dexter's Laboratory. I had recently read Lightning Bird's story 'A Day in the Life'. Several other factors came.

To summarize: Lightning Bird owns this particular AU I'm using. Cartoon Network owns FF. Everything else is mine. Including any mistakes. Thank you.

...-...

People were running. They were running mindlessly, panicking, almost running over each other, propelled by raw fear. The cacophony spread throughout the large building, stirring people to join in on the madness. Everything was completely chaotic. People screamed curses and prayers, hugged their friends and loved ones who were there.

The end had come. They had to remedy their sins before it was too late. For a great calamity had happened; one that dealt with life and death. It was now or never. Their Judgement Day.

But one was calm. Blonde hair held back by a black hair band, defying the laws of gravity by gathering into two giant yellow structures which could almost be called horns. A plain, pale face with a permanent scowl. Arms crossed over a pink dress with a yellow flower that had a green dot in the center. The Supreme Commander of the organization that was going to hell.

Mandy looked out at the sea of chaos outside of her office. She shook her head, refusing to believe they were running around because of such a trivial occurrence. These were the ones that were meant to be trained to save the world from the Fusion Fall War. This planet was screwed over already.

People were running like scared sheep because of it. Because of such a little thing. They must have really been jolted. They also must have been weak. Idiotic weaklings, just like most of the human race. The only good thing about it was that idiots like them made her dream of being World Dictator possible.

To be honest, she was wondering about just who she would be leading. She had experienced it too, and she certainly wasn't running around as if the world was ending. Fools. She'd been working a bit late when it happened. By 'it', she meant the power outage.

It was sincerely very undramatic. The lights flickered exactly once, then went out. For a few seconds, there was silence. Beautiful silence. Then came the mass hysteria.

Now, ordinarily, it would be seen as a bit of a rare occurrence that could easily be endured until it was over. But that was under normal circumstances.

Normal circumstances did not include the planet being invaded by monsters that could absorb anything and use it to attack and possibly destroy the original inhabitants. They also weren't normal in buildings that housed an army, consisted of super heroes and civilians, the heroes ranging from ultra-super heroes to a couple of neighborhood 'menaces'.

So you could understand just why they were panicking.

But that wasn't good either. Think about it. Chaos and disorder in a war. It was a miracle how it had worked in the American Revolution, but it couldn't work in this case. Right now, they needed order to function well. And with a highly intelligent Fusion on the loose, they were already at a severe disadvantage. That wasn't talking about the fact that the same Fusion could easily start stockpiling is own army, separate from Fuses', and give them something to really scream about. But it already had another, very valuable target...

Many shook her head to clear it. She had to stop all of the headless chickens from destroying the building with their stampede, not analyze opponents. Stop the chickens first, evaluate enemies later.

She forced her way into the crowd, looking for something like a podium; anything tall enough for her to stand on, well over their heads, and give them a bit of a speech. She went against the current, snagging a flashlight from a panicking recruit. He wouldn't really miss it. She flashed it around, looking, and found one: a high stack of chairs. Almost impossibly so. She had seen stranger things. That was pretty much commonplace. She forced her way towards it and managed to climb on it, to the top. She stood straight and shone her flashlight down on them. Some recruits looked up, saw her and told people close to them. Those people told more people. After a series of scared whispers, it was quiet.

Mandy was not going to embellish anything. She would tell them what she thought of them right now, straight and simple.

"Yes, the power is out. But the world hasn't ended yet, has it?" Silence.

"This building has a backup generator, which should be coming on soon. You've all been making fools of yourselves. Running around for nothing. You're in a building with the smartest kid on the planet, some of the best super heroes on the planet, and even a few aliens who are helping. What are you scared of? Fuse's little monsters know better than to loiter around here. So go back to your rooms before you really cause a riot. We have enough trouble with a war. We don't need stampedes inside the safe house.

"Just get back to your rooms and wait, or just stand around. Just don't kill yourselves with panic. Grim's already busy on the battlefield. He doesn't need you killing yourselves in your spare time."

They slowly dispersed. That statement really bit them hard. Mandy jumped down from her podium, landed safely and walked in the general direction of her office.

She frowned. The backup generator should have kicked in by now. Dexter didn't make substandard tech. He had practically sworn that the backup generator would come on in any case of a power outage, whether a brownout or a fully-fledged blackout, within seconds. So why was she using a flashlight?

It was a little strange. Dexter only knew black and white: he told the truth all the time. He rarely lied, and he wouldn't lie in such a serious matter. So what now? She sighed. Maybe she'd see if she could go down into the lab. It would stretch her legs at the very least. And maybe she could win a bet with a certain skeleton if her hunch was correct...

...-...

Down the floors, to a specific level of the building, we find a hallway. A plain hallway. If there was light, the walls would be a nice pale blue. We move aroind until we find a pair of massive blast doors, with the Dexlabs logo on them.

We advance forward, past the bolted door, to a place where incredible things happened, that the world had never seen before... to find it pitch black, with only one living thing it it. A fairly small boy, around thirteen years old, his torso folded on top of a table.

Had there been light, one would have seen that the boy had a shock of red hair combed forward in an extraordinary style, heavy clothing to protect the wearer from the cold and blue tinted glasses precariously skewed on the boy's face. His icy blue eyes were covered by his eyelids and his mouth was slightly parted.

Dexter, Patrick Lawrence Utonium's adopted son, CEO of Dexlabs and inventor of the Null-Void laser, was fast asleep. Deeply napping, to be specific.

Blissfully unaware of the chaos happening above, he had quietly snored through it. As usual, he had pushed himself to the brink of total exhaustion. He usually worked himself to the bone, putting all of his energy into a project, resting, then jumping head first (or mind-first, if you prefer), into the next one.

That took energy. Energy he didn't really have. So in order to replenish it, his system sent him to sleep. He'd been asleep for hours, and the complete black oblivion had started to lighten. However, he was still out cold. If he were awake, he would be at work, and the sensors in the building would have alerted him of an intangible being phasing downwards towards the laboratory and would immediately kick in with the required security parameters. But he was asleep and the power was out.

In this way Big Chill traveled undetected that night.

He phased through the final floor. A bright green burst of energy a moment later revealed a slightly harassed-looking Ben10. He put on the flashlight he was holding, turned it on and looked around. He soon found what he was looking for. A sleeping Dexter. Ben sighed. His friend had obviously had a much better day than he had.

Now, it was well-known that Ben was bad with blasters, handheld lasers and guns. Anything that required precise aim without any natural assistance. But he had finally found someone who was worse. The recruit boasted to have experience with several shooting games, and so he was a crack shot. He needed to be brought down to size, obviously.

Most recruits who said that at least had half-decent aim. He most certainly did not.

He managed to hit everything EXCEPT the target, from the floor to the ceiling to the lights to people, even Number Four, one of the trainers present. The resultinng laser fight ensured that everyone in the training hall had to go to Medical for burns, including himself.

Medical was nice and simple, nothing abnormal occurring. He should have known not to become lax, but nope! He had to be optimistic. Well, the elevator was fine at first, only a few quiet recruits were inside. Then it stopped to receive more people. They were normal. It stopped again. Nothing abnormal. It stopped for the third time...

Some people got in, and as the last one was halfway in, some people ran past them, screaming bloody murder. Everyone in the metal box turned to face it, some nearly bolting out of the elevator to search for the source of the panic, himself included. The reason soon followed.

It was a cat and a mouse. Normally, that would be normal in an ordinary house. But this was a military organization. (Temporarily, at any rate.) And there was something very wrong with that pair. Maybe it was that the cat was bright blue with white paws, a flash of white on his tail and white on his belly. Maybe it was that the duo looked as if they'd come straight from a cartoon. Maybe it was that said cat and the mouse both stood on their hind legs.

Or maybe it was the fact that the cat was holding an axe and trying the slice the mouse in half.

The mouse occasionally retaliated with hitting the cat with a mallet, whenever he could. How the cat was still running after all those hits to his feet and head, nobody could tell. The people in the elevator stared in shock as the destructive duo made their way close to it.

Everything after that was surreal. Someone pushed everyone backwards and started jamming the 'Close' button. At the same time, the mouse realized that the cat could actually win and that it needed to get away. It dashed in the direction of the elevator with the cat hot on his heels. And it was that time that the elevator decided to be slow.

One thing was for sure: that elevator would never be the same, and neither would the jacket he had on at the time.

Unlike what most people thought, he had four copies of his signature jacket. Now three. It had been sliced down the middle, with the axe, which had barely missed his back. That was the worst that happened to the people inside - the clothing damage. The walls and floor would never be the same. And the mallet left some nasty bruises on everyone in the elevator.

Miraculously, the button panel had been left alone, completely untouched. Obviously, what with all the dent marks all over the thing, it would have to be repaired. The material used to make the elevator had to be strong. Any other elevator should have had holes.

After they'd stumbled out of the elevator, just managing to shut the duo in it, somebody managed to run into Billy, who was holding a bucket full of worms. Why, nobody knew. The bucket flew out of the idiot's hands and its contents shot all over the place. Now that was the true challenge, escaping from that particular fallout as the worms flew around.

He had no idea just how he made it to his room in one piece, worm-free. He just knew that he found himself going into the bathroom after securely locking the door. He came out clean and refreshed. Apart from the burns and bruises, he was fine. And just as he was going to take a nap before checking up on Dexter, the power went out. A second later, a stampede passed by his door.

He had no idea which deity he had offended. He just thanked God that he'd had the presence of mind to lock it.

He knew that there was a backup generator, since it had come up in a discussion with Dex earlier in the week. It should have kicked in within two seconds, but it hadn't, not for around ten minutes. That was reason for worry. So he flew downwards to the lab, phasing through with Big Chill. Dexter was asleep. Now came the task of waking him up.

"Dex? Dex, wake up! Dex!" he shook the younger boy quickly, trying to rouse him. "Dex? Dex! Wake up!" He shook more vigorously. No reaction. Now, he was easygoifng, but this was just pushing him to his limits.

"Dexter, wake up!" He shook his friend again, still no respose. His fist slammed into the table in frustration.

"What?" A heavily accented, petulant voice spoke up, irritated. Ben focused the flashlight on Dexter's face, making the younger boy cover his eyes. The glasses finally fell. "What is it?"

"Hi, yourself," came the dry reply.

"Ben?" Dexter rubbed his eyes, squinted and felt around for his glasses. He found them and put them on. The laboratory was dark, and Ben was holding a flashlight. The older boy looked relieved, happy (as usual) and strangely, there was a flash of irritation. Maybe he hadn't had the best day. No, ot wasn't maybe. It was quite probable. He'd ask later. Right now, he needed answers to just what was happening. He had a sneaking suspicion of whatvit was, though.

Dexter stood up. "What is it?" he asked.

"The power is out," Ben said, "and the backup generator isn't on. Does it have a problem or something? It's been ten minutes, and the recruits have stampeded-" At that, Dexter looked shocked "-and been calmed down by Mandy," he quickly added. "Anyway, what's wrong with the generator?"

Now, Ben had thought up of different things Dexter might have said to answer him. He had a very wild imagination, so he'd expected a wide range of answers. But nothing in his imagination could prepare him for what Dexter actually said.

"...forgot to screw the bolt," Dexter muttered. A purple glove lightly smacked his forehead as he sighed. His hunch had been correct.

"What?" Ben asked, swearing he hadn't heard correctly.

"I said, 'forgot to screw the bolt'. Though it was not a complete sentence, the message should have gotten across." The hand lowered as Dexter stood up.

"What does that have to do with the blackout?"

Dexter merely gestured for the flashlight, which Ben, still confused, gave him without any further questions.

"When I started my laboratory," he started, "I had to think of how it would be powered. My first laboratory was underground."

"What?" Ben stared.

"It was underground, beneath the house. Didn't I tell you that?" Ben shook his head. He sighed. "You know now." He quickly went back to the story. "I made an elevator to get down there, hidden behind my bookcase and accessed by tugging on a fake book. So I had the transportation sorted, now I had to think if how it would be powered.

"I quickly ruled out siphoning off power lines, for obvious reasons. I had to think of other ways. The eco-friendly means of generating power would not work either, since it was underground. The only one that made a modicum of sense was geothermal, but it was, and still is unreliable. Fossil fuels were already out of the question."

"Where are you going with this?" Ben asked.

"Just listen," Dexter said irritably.

"But you had no way to power it. You couldn't just make one up, could you? Or what, did you somehpw break the laws of physics to do it or something?"

Dexter turned around and smirked. "What do you think I did, Mister Tennyson?"

"...what?"

"'What,' indeed. Getting back to the point, I did."

"How?!"

"Utilization of kinetic energy."

Ben was too far gone to talk, he out and out gaped at his friend. He was mystified. Dexter had done so many things that he had waxed eloquent about, all unbelievable but true. Ben himself had no right to be skeptical, seeing how crazy his life had been since he was ten years old. But this took the cake.

Kinetic energy. For a generator? For a generator that powered a highly advanced laboratory and an entire company that specialized in technology. One generator. For all that. A generator that ran on kinetic energy. A generator that ran on... nonsensoleum? If there was such a word. The theory- just the idea, mind you-was absurd.

Ben stared, his mouth open, unable to form words to describe his amazement and confusion. Confumazement? Whatever. He suddenly felt much more tired than he did before.

Dexter chuckled as his friend gave up trying to figure it out. Ben sighed, shaking his head, letting the boy genius have the floor.

"You seem surprised, Mister Tennyson."

"I am," Ben exhaled, "Kinetic energy? For a generator? For the entire place? How?"

"Your questions shall soon be answered," Dexter said, leading his friend through the laboratory. "You'll be able to see part of the apparatus up ahead." Intrigued, Ben rollowed his friend, but with caution. He had no idea what to expect at this point, so he kept his expectations low.

He may not have known it, but that saved him from completely crashing down.

Dexter finally stopped walking. He dramatically shone the flashlight on the required apparatus. A medium-size metal black box with a bolt on top and a normal-sized wrench beside it. Ben's brain nearly shut down. That was the key to the oh-so-wondrous generator? Such a simple thing? He barely noticed when Dexter gave him the flashlight. Then Dexter walked over to the box and picked up the wrench.

For around fifteen minutes, the sounds of occasional squeaking filled the air as the wrench worked on the oversized bolt, the boy holding it leaning slightly on the box for support. Dexter hummed tunelessly as he did the work, acting as if it was a fairly commonplace occurrence. When he stopped, Ben instantly looked around to look for any sign of a dramatic result.

The lights flickered once and came on, fluorescent tubes bringing their bright, sterile light to the area. Dexter took the flashlight, turned it off and handed it back to his friend. Ben dragged his feet until he got to the box and sat on the edge, moving the wrench out of the way. There were chairs in the area, obviously, but he didn't like the idea of going halfway across the laboratory to sit down. His legs wouldn't support him for that long.

Dexter turned to smile at his friend. "When I turn the bolt, I activate a sequence that in turn starts the generator."

"I guessed," Ben muttered dryly.

Dexter turned and spoke, seemingly to the air. "Computress, status report."

"Hello, Dexter," the AI greeted, projecting her avatar near the two boys. "The lights are on. In around three seconds, the security precautions will come back online, followed by the computers. After those, everything else will come on gradually, depending on its level of power consumption." Ben sighed in relief while Dexter nodded.

"You have company," the AI said, the hologram gesturing towards the large blast doors.

They looked. The heavy blast doors were open. By open, it meant that they were nowhere in sight. They were either vaporized or ripped out of their original position. Whichever one, it looked like an exceptionally clean job. A small crowd was at the gigantic hole.

The Powerpuff Girls, Dee Dee, Professor Utonium, Kilroy Green, Sergeant Chip Morton, around 40% of Dexlabs security forces, Mandy and a few others were gathered there. Silence. Silence that nobody wanted to break, they wanted to hold this sacred moment for as long as they could.

Patrick Lawrence Utonium and Chip Morton calmly walked towards the two, the former smiling warmly at Ben and putting a hand on Dexter's shoulder while the latter stood off to the side and smiled at the family moment. Professor Utonium looked warmly at his ward's face, which practically glowed with pride.

"Dexter, you never fail to surprise me. But just how were you able to keep that hidden?"

Dexter smirked. "Holographic projection. The holograms placed around it conceal it so that it looks like a part of the wall. Speaking of which..." The black box disappeared. The scene became awkward once you saw that Ben10 was still sitting on the edge of the box. He looked like he was sitting on air.

The Wielder of the Omnitrix sighed and put his head in his hands, making no move to get up.

"Bad day?" Utonium asked.

"It started with a recruit with lousy aim," Ben replied, "and ended in this. How are you not overwhelmed?"

"I've lived with Dexter for years now. I've seen my fair share of hijinx, and from the stories he's told me, this is one of his less impressive projects."

"But how can anything go fast enough to power a gigantic building like this? Does he have some kind of super-tech project that lets stuff go fast and eliminates friction?" Ben's limited knowledge of science showed painfully clearly, but at this point, most of the crowd was at that stage of realization.

"Maybe," Dexter shrugged.

Ben groaned. Something started to pulse in his head, making it throb. "I have a headache." His friend laughed as Professor Utonium looked on in amusement.

...-...

The Grim Reaper watched the friendly exchange with a solemn expression. He watched as the Powerpuff Girls and Dee Dee went over to join in, accompanied by Kilroy Green soon after. The security force quickly retreated, on the hunt for some strong drink, or anything that could ease their headaches. The few recruits who had dared to come were either straining to hear the conversation or reeling from the shock.

Beside the Lord of Death was a small human girl with a pale, plain face with a smirk on it. She folded her arms victoriously as she turned to him.

"A thousand bucks, just like you promised." In response, the skeleton grumbled, reaching into his cloak. He pulled out a small bag with strange runes. When he opened it, strange energy glowed from within. Tentacles emerged from it. He plunged his hand in, pulled out two five hundred dollar notes and held them out to her, while using his other hand to close the bag, leaving a writhing tentacle sticking out. He mumbled something. A portal appeared underneath the bag and it was dropped into it.

Everyone stared at them, as pink mist appeared beside the pair. Stiletto boots, a tight skirt, a top with a pink tulle collar, a red body. The Ultimate Evil had arrived, in all of his effeminate glory.

"Grim, you didn't forget about my share, did you?" In response, the Lord of Death opened a portal, reached into it and tossed a giant wad of cash at Him's face. "That wasn't polite, but I can pardon you." Mandy eyed the large amount of money.

Him noticed. "If you want a good bet with him, make sure he's drunk before suggesting it. He usually loses, and you get much more money than when he's sober."

Mandy nodded, filing that bit of information away for later use. The Grim Reaper groaned. He could never win. But how he had been drunk enough to bet on how Dexter powered this structure was a mystery. The bigger mystery was just how Mandy and Him had guessed correctly. He sighed as he opened a portal. Oh, he was getting drunk again, but this time, he would activate the security parameters.