Sooooo I'm back! Kind of. I don't know how the rest of this semester is going to go for me, but I have another 18,000 words written of this story. This story is pretty much just my headcannons of the Circle Era. I'm having a lot of fun writing this so far and I hope you enjoy it!

-Laur

Jocelyn Fairchild sat on the narrow footman bench of her family's carriage. Through the wooden walls, Jocelyn could hear the comforting muffled sound of Adele and Granville Fairchild's, along with Amatis and Luke's gentle voices in the mix. Having Amatis and Luke ride with them was wonderful, but Jocelyn found the interior to be rather crowded and stuffy.

It felt like such a waste when it was a perfect September day. In the shadowy foliage of Brocelind forest, she could hear the sound of rodents rustling in the underbrush, the trees farther behind them fluttered in a cool breeze and the branches waving good bye to her. She could even hear the heavy breathing of the perspiring horses up front. Her fingers clenched together, wishing that she had an easel propped in front of her and a paintbrush in hand now. Despite its peaceful beauty, Jocelyn couldn't count the number of times her parents had come back, bloodied and bruised, from the depths of this forest after a small scuffle with a vampire clan, or a short battle with a werewolf pack. Nothing would dare attack that day however: all throughout Idris families, rich and poor, would be gathering at the Academy to drop off their children for yet another year of schooling.

When the carriage lurched to a stop suddenly, Jocelyn stood up on the bench to look for what had caused them to pause. The two brown horses pawed the ground impatiently as one of the doors to the carriage swung open. Jocelyn's frown turned into a wide grin as she saw Luke hop out. He raised his eyebrows in response to the childish enthusiasm of Jocelyn's beckoning and came around to where Jocelyn stood.

For a moment, Jocelyn revelled in the fact that she towered over him. "Finally decided to join me?"

Luke shook his shaggy brown head. "No, I actually was fancying a tinkle in woods is all."

Jocelyn scowled at him, folding her arms across her chest. "That's disgusting."

"It's what I'll be doing for the rest of the year. You really think I'm going to use the toilets at the school?" Luke shuddered and planted both elbows on the bench to try lifting himself onto the bench and push his stomach onto the board, but to no avail. Luke stumbled down to the ground, frowning, and tried to heave himself further up, but in one ungraceful movement, fell down in the dirt path.

Despite the hurt expression on Luke's face, Jocelyn laughed at him. "Come on Luke, it's not that hard. I made it up just fine, and I'm much smaller than you."

"You know, you're a terrible motivator." Luke scowled up at her, brushing off his jeans. He lifted an arm up to her, shaking it expectantly. "Just pull me up."

Jocelyn shook her head. "You can do it Luke, you just need . . . you need motivation!"

"Didn't I just say, that you're terrible at motivation?" Luke growled, trying to make the four foot jump again.

"You need external forces to help you." Jocelyn concluded, standing up from where she'd been squatting.

"A simple hand would suffice." grunted an annoyed Luke, but Jocelyn wasn't listening.

"Oy! Arnold! You can carry on now!" Jocelyn shouted to the Fairchild's mundane servant driving the horses.

"Alright, Miss!" he shouted back, and she watched in satisfaction as he shook the reins and the horses started up again.

Luke's already red face turned the shade of a tomato as the carriage took off without him. "Jocelyn, you're insane!" he shouted at her, fast walking to keep up with the pace of the ever-quickening horses.

"I suggest a running start." Jocelyn called, holding onto the smooth handle so that she could face him as the dirt path began to descend downhill.

"I hate you!" Luke called back, beginning to run up closer and closer to the carriage.

Jocelyn smirked and looked behind her, where the steep downhill path ended soon, a stream intersected the road, and then an uphill ascent would begin. If Luke could hardly keep up with the carriage downhill, how would he manage to make the jump uphill? As amusing as Jocelyn had thought it out to be, the idea of Luke trudging through Brocelind by himself and unarmed was not pleasant. Plus, attending the academy alone was hard for Luke.

Jocelyn extended out her hand to Luke, who was sprinting to catch up. "You've got this Luke," she said quietly, more to convince herself than to help him.

But a moment later, Luke leaped up, grasping tightly to Jocelyn's small hand. He had launched himself up all the way, his feet planted firmly on the wooden board, which shook the entire carriage from the force of Luke's leap. She pulled him up to stand next to her, a heavy weight lifted off her chest. As much as the fun and games were, Jocelyn didn't want Luke to be angry with her for the rest of the year.

His breathing was heavy, his arm reaching around her to grab hold of the wooden handle. In their position, Jocelyn could feel his chest pressed up against her back, every exhale coming quickly. "Sorry." she muttered, awkwardly finding his free hand and squeezing it.

"It's fine. No damage done, right?" he gave her hand a quick squeeze as well, before releasing it.

"I guess." Jocelyn, quietly relieved that he was not upset at her, lowered herself to sit on the bench again, Luke following suit. The downhill path now ended, a stretch of long grass lay before them, eventually meeting a quiet brook. Jocelyn leaned against the back of the carriage contentedly, feeling the odd excitement that very soon she would be at school once more. Jocelyn's stomach churned nervously. It was odd to think that very soon she would again be training to become a warrior. Luke shifted next to her and she wondered what he was contemplating. He was most likely dreading what was coming. Jocelyn glanced at him, frowning. She wished she could do something. Anything to help him enjoy being a Shadowhunter. It would be better if it was just the two of them at the Fairchild Manor training together while he developed at least some sort of skill.

She, along with Luke, she presumed, suddenly wished that she could just go home, where her family and Luke and Amatis would be. Her parents would take care of her, and Amatis was there for girl time, and Luke was there for . . . well, being Luke.

Jocelyn could see the advantages of living the way past Shadowhunter woman had. There wasn't anything wrong with being domesticated. Her mother Adele was content with staying home and not going off to war. Perhaps she could convince her father to turn around . . .

Jocelyn stopped the line of thinking; it was 1984. There was no reason that she shouldn't fight. And she wanted to fight. It was as simple as that. "Do you want to go back home?"

Luke glanced at her, eyebrows furrowed over his clear, blue eyes. "Why would I want to go home?"

"Oh," Jocelyn shrugged, embarrassed, glancing away from him. "I was just thinking."

"Thinking about what?" he pressed, knowing well by now that Jocelyn's thinking was very similar to an onion; there were layers upon layers behind her thought process.

"About home, obviously." Jocelyn snorted. "Summer went by way too quick."

"Doesn't every summer?" Luke teased, nudging her shoulder affectionately.

She rolled her green eyes. "Yeah, yeah. I just mean . . . I only meant that when I'm home, everything . . . it feels so . . . right. Like everything is how it is supposed to be. I have you and Amatis, and my parents, and everything is practically perfect. But now, with leaving, I've started doubting things I've never doubted before."

Luke frowned, "Like what?"

Jocelyn paused, not wanting the words to be out in the open, because if she said them, she might mean them. "Just, whether or not I should keep training or just do what Erica and Gracie Dieudonne are doing, or what my mom had to-"

"You mean to not fight?" Luke clarified slowly, the soft tone of his voice forcing her to look at him. His blue eyes were sympathetic and as usual, overwhelmingly gentle and kind.

Jocelyn found herself saying it without meaning to. "Yes. I've been thinking about it."

She waited for him to scoff at her, or maybe look disappointed, but she was surprised when he said, "I've been thinking about it too. And I envy you. That you get to make a decision and I don't."

Jocelyn stared at him. "What do you mean by that? Five years ago, women didn't even have the choice to learn how to fight."

"But that's the thing." Luke explained. "Women get to choose. It isn't required. Women aren't expected anything. If they stay home? Great! If they learn to fight? Even better. They at least have the choice. Whereas, if a man chose to not be a warrior, it's because he is sickly and weak, and the entire family has to bear that shame for another two generations, if the guy is lucky enough to find a girl to actually want to marry him." Luke pulled out a stele in his pocket, anxiously exchanging it from hand to hand. "I guess we do have a choice, it's just not a very good one. Shame the family, or give them endless glory from your death in battle because you can't hold a sword right."

Jocelyn stared at him. He had never mentioned his ineptitude for Shadowhunting. Nor had she, of course, because Jocelyn never knew where she could draw the line. He wasn't the most talented of their year; he never had finished anything first, and he couldn't draw runes for the life of him. In fact, the only thing he was good at was the history lessons they'd received about shadowhunters in their first two years, and that time last year when they memorized the entirety of the Covenant.

"Sometime's I feel . . ." his voice broke, and he shook his head, holding his knees to his chest. "I'm being stupid."

"No. You can tell me anything, just like I tell you everything. We are in a non-judging relationship, remember?" She smiled encouragingly at him, laying her head down on his shoulder.

He twisted his neck to look down at her, and she blinked at him, the smile still floating. She saw something in his eyes flicker and Jocelyn was glad when he opened his mouth.

"I just can't help thinking that . .."

"Yes?" she pressed, grabbing his hand and squeezing affectionately.

Luke turned his head so she wouldn't see him, and said it so quickly, Jocelyn thought she'd heard him wrong. "I feel like I'd be a better mundane than a Shadowhunter."

Jocelyn could feel his eyes on her as he waited for a reaction. She worked hard to hide her exact feelings, and swallowed a lump in her throat.

"You're judging me." Luke accused.

"No, I'm not."

"You are."

"No I'm not!"

"You are!"

"I'm not."

"Then why did you scowl when I said it." he demanded, shrugging her head off his shoulder roughly.

"I wasn't scowling!" Jocelyn protested, shoving his shoulder in return.

"You're frowning right now!"

"Well, how did you want me to take it?" She exclaimed. "Do you want me to say, 'Gee, Luke that would be a grand idea, let me pack my bags first and I'll go with you?' You can't just say something like that without expecting me to get a little upset! Shadowhunting is . . ." Jocelyn scratched her head, watching as Luke stared at his feet, shaking his head at her. "Shadowhunting is what makes us special. Being a mundane . . . there are literally billions of them out there. There's nothing special about being mundane. It's this," Jocelyn tapped the angelic rune on his right wrist, "that makes you extraordinary."

Luke shook his head at her, his eyebrows scrunched angrily and scooted farther away from her. "What are you saying? Do you mean to say that the only reason I'm special is because I'm a shadowhunter? That if I decided to leave the Shadowhunting world, I wouldn't be important to you anymore? Is that what you are saying? Because when I think about you, Jocelyn, and the list of things that makes you special, it isn't just shadowhunting. In fact, it's at the bottom of the list!" he told her passionately, ripping his hand away from her.

"By the angel, Luke that is not what I meant! I was just-"

"It sounded pretty clear to me. 'Shadowhunting is what makes you special' is precisely what you said to me."

Jocelyn was left speechless with no idea of what she had done wrong. She hadn't meant it like that, honestly. But if she'd known Luke would react like this, then she would've shut up about it. "I meant that you live in a different world than anyone else on the planet, which is . . . amazing, and the fact that you, out of anyone else, got to be a shadowhunter, is against almost all odds. By special I only meant . . ." Jocelyn grasped for words and thoughts. Either one would've been nice. "I just meant that you have a special ability to save the world and keep it from dying that no else really has. It's a responsibility of every shadowhunter to protect the mundanes. How could you do that if you're one of them?"

"And if I'm not good at it-"

"Then you try harder." Jocelyn shot at him, causing Luke's eyes to look up, his blue eyes narrowing at her. "You work longer. And you'll get better. You're not going to get it immediately, but you don't get to just quit if you're not good at something. "

"That's wonderful, Jocelyn, except you just told me you were thinking about quitting too." Luke shot back at her, rolling his eyes.

"No I wasn't!" Jocelyn's hands shook, her anger getting the best of her. "I was wondering if I shouldn't fight, I never said anything about leaving altogether! You don't have to be dramatic and choose the most fanatical way of doing things. You don't have to be a warrior to be in the Shadowhunter world."

"If I were to stay home, I'd be shamed for my entire life! And Amatis would be disappointed in me as well! The Graymark family, already in shambles . . ." he swallowed thickly, "We'd never be able to get to our feet again. I'll be sitting in the cottage living with your parents, while you live at some strong shadowhunter's mansion that managed to sweep you off your feet at school. And you'd never see me again, because you'd be ashamed of me."

"Do you honestly think that?" Jocelyn stared at him, shaking her head, "I would never be ashamed of you, and Amatis wouldn't blame you either! You're not giving anyone enough credit. First that you'd think I would be ashamed of you, and secondly that you think I'd marry someone at the Academy? How low is your opinion of me?" she added the latter reason to lighten him up, and Jocelyn hid a smirk when Luke managed a small smile.

"It doesn't matter, Jocelyn." Luke said after a long time, his light brown hair askew across his forehead. "I really shouldn't be a shadowhunter."

Jocelyn wasn't taking his excuse, nor would she ever. "You're here with me, going to Shadowhunter Academy, so yes. You are meant to be a Shadowhunter. I don't want to hear anymore of this nonsense about how unworthy you are, alright? If you feel that way, then we need to do something about it."

"Like what?" Luke said miserably. "I could hardly jump onto a bench. Imagine how I'll fair when I'm attacked by a demon, or a downworlder. I'll be sliced to pieces."

"No, you won't." Jocelyn said confidently, smiling as an idea occurred to her.

"And what makes you so sure?" Luke, ever the pessimist, refused to see his ineptitude as something to smile about.

Jocelyn's bright smile seemed to grow even bigger. Grabbing his arm, Jocelyn excitedly told him her plan. "I'm going to personally train you."

Whatcha think? I don't have a set date for next chapter so when ever I get around to editing that portion. A couple reviews are definite motivators *wink wink*

-Laur