There were odd transporter accidents, and then there were odd transporter accidents. The difference between the two was determined by the height achieved by the First Officer's eyebrow.

The eyebrow skyrocketed.

It was reasonable since the child- yes, a child, and no more than four at that- was almost drowning in a puddle of cloth. A pair of uniform pants served to obscure his feet, while the rest of him was lost in a field of blue. The expected stripes of a Lieutenant Commander couldn't be seen.

"Mister Scott, just what the devil-"

"I cannae tell you Captain, everything was fine a moment ago-"

Spock alone noticed the sniffle and the moisture welling up in the child's eyes.

"Gentlemen. I recommend that you lower your voices."

The chatter in the transporter room stopped. The Captain and the Chief Engineer had been shamed into silence, and now they didn't have anything to say. Spock took it upon himself to handle the situation.

"Doctor McCoy?" The child's head snapped up in recognition. He stared at Spock, wide-eyed and more than a little frightened.

"Where's my dad?" Barely audible, the question still echoed in the stillness of the transporter room. Spock took a step forward, nodding to his Captain. A call should be made to Sickbay at once.

The boy took a step back and stumbled on the overlarge uniform. He landed on the transporter pad, likely uninjured, but the fear, shock, and confusion of the last few moments caught up with him.

He started to scream.

Spock was frozen in place. He was… unsure as to what would calm this child. It was undoubtedly Leonard McCoy, the man they had thought they were beaming up. In the back of Spock's mind, several possibilities flickered through his head- about the planet's atmosphere, about the minerals there, the organic compounds sitting in the soil-

Nurse Chapel and the medical team arrived quickly. She took one look at the sobbing child and hurried over to scoop him up. "What's the matter sweetheart? Are you hurt? Did you fall?"

So shocked was the young McCoy, that his throat closed up for a moment and he was unable to speak. His eyes flicked back to Spock and the others. The tears kept pouring on.

"Where's my dad?" He squeaked. It was a helpless little noise, and Chapel's heart could hardly bear it.

She adjusted her grip so he was close and comfortable. "What's his name? I'm Head Nurse on this ship, and if I can't find him, no one can."

The child sniffed. He looked up at Chapel with such trust, it was hard to believe he didn't remember a thing. "He's a Doctor. All the other doctors say 'David McCoy' but Momma calls him 'Dave'." His voice wavered, but he got it all out.

Chapel did more than keep a straight face. She smiled down at the poor kid and spoke with confidence. "Well! I certainly know a Doctor McCoy. He and I work together." Chapel knew children could always detect lies. She'd tell the truth with a smile. "I'm afraid he's done all his doctoring for the day, but seeing as he's out of Sickbay, you can hang out with me."

The little boy frowned. It seemed like he believed her, but just as the true explanation was beyond his grasp, so were several other things.

"Why can't I go home then? Where are my shoes?" He was looking down and around to try and determine why he was in this unfamiliar room. "Is this the hospital? Am I sick?"

Chapel bit her lip and glanced back at the Captain. She'd have to keep bluffing. "I don't know where you put your shoes, sweetie, but we'll have you in a better outfit in no time. And you can go home as soon as you're better, I promise. Isn't that right, Captain?"

Kirk didn't look happy but he smiled for little Leonard's benefit. "Absolutely. As Captain of the Enterprise, I will personally guarantee to take you back where you live and return your shoes. How's that sound?"

Thinking he was ill might explain away the people walking on eggshells around him. Chapel could feel Leonard calming. He was in an unfamiliar environment and likely still scared, but he wasn't crying anymore.

"OK." Leonard sniffed. "I'll be good."

By all appearances, the child had been sick before. Sick enough to feel comfortable around nurses, even strange ones.

"You've been so good, and I'm very sorry for scaring you like that." Kirk spoke up again. "We weren't expecting you to arrive right now, so Mister Scott and I were a little flustered. Forgive us?" Scotty was a little dumbstruck too, but he smiled at the wee lad like they were the same old friends.

Playacting. Spock's brain conjured the word without prompting. They were all telling half-truths, exaggerating, accommodating at a moment's notice for the Doctor's sake. Until they could figure out what had happened, he was for all intents and purposes a small child and must be treated as such. Fascinating.

The boy nodded, and Chapel kept murmuring to him as she and the medical team headed off. The doors shut to the sound of 'Can I ride the stretcher?' echoing down the hall.

Kirk groaned and rubbed at his temples.

"I'll get to work on it right away, sir." Was Scotty's response. Spock remained where he stood, eyes fixed on the pile of clothes on the transporter pad. There were Doctor McCoy's uniform pants, his boots, his tricorder, and the ring he usually wore. The bit of metal glinted up at him from a crease in the black fabric. It would immediately slip off the small hand of a toddler.

"Captain." He turned to address Kirk. "I believe I maybe be of some assistance in Sickbay. With your permission…?"

Kirk nodded. "I'll stay behind and help with the transporter. The last time we did something like this, I was two people. Now Bones is half a person." He grinned, but the smile never reached his eyes. "Do whatever he needs you to."

Spock nodded and left.

Little Leonard McCoy behaved beautifully after he 'figured out' what was going on. He was excited that his 'hospital' was a starship, even if he never got to meet the CMO. That was an awkward subject the crew avoided as much as possible.

He was a model patient, sitting quietly while Chapel and M'Benga ran their tests. Leonard 'Momma calls me Len' McCoy was calmer than they thought possible. He did ask to see his mom once, but Chapel explained they couldn't send her a subspace message at this time. Len took it all in stride. They assured him his father would be proud.

The only incident occurred when Spock arrived. Little Len was sitting cross-legged on his biobed while Chapel ran his results through the computer in the next room. He had a new set of clothes- clothes that fit a toddler- as well as a warm looking pair of socks. He wasn't paying attention to his surroundings, simply watching the biobed monitor beep and cycle.

It was only when he noticed Spock that the trouble started. Apparently, he hadn't heard the First Officer enter. Len turned suddenly, shrieked, and jumped off the biobed. Spock's eyebrows hit the roof and he hurried after the miniature Doctor. If anything happened to him, Spock would not only feel responsible but incredibly guilty.

He caught up with the would-be escape artist quickly. Len screamed again as he was hoisted into the air, and began kicking and shoving with all his might.

"Put me down!" He cried. "I don't like you!" Spock, not at all shocked by the declaration, returned to the biobed and set the boy down. His screaming had drawn Nurse Chapel back from the computer.

"Spock! What happened? Did he fall again?" She hurried over with a hand scanner. Len was wailing and trying to crawl up into her arms.

"I believe I… startled him, Nurse." Spock admitted. "He jumped off the biobed in an attempt to avoid me further."

By this time Chapel had scooped their tiny doctor into her arms. Len buried his face into her uniform and continued crying, though the sound was muffled.

Spock took a hesitant step back. "If he is so disturbed by my presence, I shall leave at once. Good day, Nurse. Keep me informed-"

Chapel looked up at him sharply. "Now wait just a minute!" She rocked Len and began patting his back to calm him. "I need your help here- we all do. He's so little; I bet he's never seen a Vulcan before. He's been shying away from some of the passing officers too. I think he's just nervous around strangers."

The child's crying had subsided to sniffles. Chapel pulled him back so she could see his face.

"Are you scared of Mister Spock?"

Len glanced over his shoulder and balled his fists back into Chapel's uniform. He nodded mutely.

"Why is he so scary? He's First Officer of the ship, one of Captain Kirk's best friends." Keeping his head down, Len mumbled something into Chapel's shoulder. "What was that, sweetie? I couldn't hear you."

"He's a Romulan!" Len said much louder. "Like on the holo-show! Romulans hit ladies and shoot people!"

Chapel's jaw dropped and Spock couldn't say he wasn't surprised.

"Young Leonard…" Spock began. He wasn't sure how to phrase this effectively, but he would try. "I am Vulcan. Romulans look very similar to Vulcans, but we are not the same."

Len was still clinging to Chapel like a lifeline, but he didn't look away. "A Vulcan?" He blinked. "Dad met some Vulcans one time. His wife was a lady and he didn't hit her and she was this big." Len flung his arms out wide. "Because she was gonna have a baby."

Chapel had to bite her lip to keep from giggling. Their tiny doctor was too cute. Spock had no difficulty in keeping a straight face, though there was a twinkle in his eye when he spoke.

"Vulcans do not believe in hitting ladies, or firing phasers when it is unnecessary. We are a peaceful and logical people."

Len stared at him a long time before looking back to Chapel. "Is he?"

She nodded. "Absolutely. Mister Spock is a gentleman and a fine officer. Now, let's get you back into that bed."

"Do I have to?" He pouted. "I been sittin' there all day and I don't even feel sick, see?" Len reached up and grabbed her cheeks, pulling her forehead down to rest against his. "Don't even have a fever or nothin'."

Chapel grinned and conceded. "Well, Doctor McCoy, I'd say you're well enough to head down to the mess hall. Mister Spock, would you mind?" She set Leonard down and looked to him. "I've got those… scans to go over."

They were still looking for a way to change him back. The Sickbay staff had not yet discovered a medical means to return their CMO to his proper state. That mean they would have to continue as they had been until the answer was found.

Spock looked down at the child and nodded. "I will escort him. I believe I am familiar enough with the Doctor's synthesizer recipes to produce something adequate for lunch."