A/N; Please don't throw eggs and rotten tomatoes at me; I know I'm not as good with Cas as I am with Sam and Dean. Bear with me. The first part will be pertaining to the brother's and Cas and the second half will be strictly devoted to our boys! :)

JOYFUL JOYFUL, WE ADORE THEE

Part 1.

Joyful, joyful, we adore Thee,

God of glory, Lord of love;

Hearts unfold like flow'rs before Thee,

Op'ning to the sun above.

Melt the clouds of sin and sadness;

Drive the dark of doubt away;

Giver of immortal gladness,

Fill us with the light of day!

Even Cas forgot he was an angel sometimes. He thinks it's testimony to how good Sam and Dean are for him and to him. He's jostled along this wild life between the two extremely down to earth brothers with souls brighter than all heaven's glories combined. In his giant family he'd never known, love, loyalty and trust as the violent, sincere Winchester boys showed him each and every day of their existence.

Often times he's caught in the middle, their shoulders knocking into him as they playfully fight to get at each other, more often then not he's the one batting both their hands away and calling a truce. He'd end up with one of the brothers practically in his lap in attempts to pinch, tickle or scratch some part of the other sibling.

("Tell him to stop Cas, ouch! That hurt, Cas help..."

Then there's generally delighted giggles and indignant yelps as Dean gives his giant, little brother a rather harsh wedgie in revenge when Cas won't involve himself in their daily, family spurts.)

He keeps Dean from smearing the cheese on his fingers from his cheetos over Sam's face, or Sam from talking their ears off, or whispering to himself while he reads (never ceases to turn Dean into an antsy, annoyed child within seconds) and sometimes Cas has just enough juice to kill Baby's radio for an hour or two so as to save his and the younger Winchester's ear drums.

("You're a dick."

"Oh I'm the dick, Dean?"

"Yeah you are Sam, Cas...ain't he a dick?")

A hundred years ago he wouldn't have ever guessed or said he'd need this or even want it but now he thrives off of being a part of this dysfunctional, weird family. When he's sitting in between the boys at some trash dinner or watching them throw popcorn at each other through a movie they've seen a thousand times each he gets this tingling burning sensation in his veins, like his grace is burning red hot.

He remembers then that he is an angel. Because his true nature is picking up on something sacred and pure, it's burning with the very power of the thing that shines from the brothers. And it's not just to each other, he feels it glowing towards himself making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up as they fight the good fight side by side. He recognizes it over and over again as simple, unconditional love and Castiel has been alive for millennia and millennia, he's never seen love so pure and at its base form as it is with Sam and Dean Winchester.

All Thy works with joy surround Thee,

Earth and heav'n reflect Thy rays,

Stars and angels sing around Thee,

Center of unbroken praise.

Field and forest, vale and mountain,

Flowery meadow, flashing sea,

Singing bird and flowing fountain

Call us to rejoice in Thee.

Cas' angel is purring with the glowing warmth coming from both Winchesters as they come walking from the kitchen and Dean unceremoniously leaves a beer in front of him. His best friend's "You earned it," starts up an even greater glow inside him and yes, he thinks. He likes this version of himself much more than the avenging, aloof angel of the Lord.

Dean gulps down his first beer within minutes and sighs with a belch. Cas watches with an unconscious smile wrinkling his lips and the skin beside his eyes as Dean opens the small fridge in the library and fishes out some M'nMs, Sam doesn't seemed surprised, was probably the one who left them there.

They end up in Sam's room, Cas just falls face first onto the foot of the mattress absolutely exhausted. Dean and Sam take their seats each on one side but as usual they're all in each other's space bickering and simpering at each other.

("Get off my side of the bed."

"This is my room Dean, the whole bed is mine."

"Well, its hard as rock and just as stupid."

"Your bed is all soft and memory foam and EMPTY just down the hall, nobody's keeping you here."

A few moments of blessed silence.

"Stop hogging all the blanket."

"You stop hogging all the snacks."

"You calling me fat?" Cue shower of popcorn.

Sam laughs, and Dean pinches him and returns the laugh when Sam hisses.

"Shut up, we're missing the movie. At least you actually picked a good one this time."

"That's just because it appeals to your nerd side."

Sam makes a face, "Nerd or not Lord of the Rings is eternally badass."

Cas grins when he hears their beer bottles clink together, toasting in agreement.)

Cas can't explain it but there is something so scared and holy about the moments like this. Sam and Dean accept him into their family, they carry on and are not scared to drop all their defenses around him. Dean buries his socked feet under Cas' body whispering that his toes are freezing, Sam chuckles and groans when he stretches out his legs that have been folded to accommodate Cas' place at the foot of his bed. Cas hears Dean groan and demand Sam get his freakishly long and heavy limbs off him. He's guessing Sam decided to place the aching legs on Dean instead of on Cas, because honestly he's so tired right now. Floating in and out of consciousness with screams of death and the passionate soundtrack of Lord of the Rings.

He's aware that he's being included in something special. Sure he's given up so much, but how much more have the Winchester's given up? And yet here they are today lighter and happier than he's ever felt, everyday they become better and better men and he hopes, god Cas still prays sometimes, that they're dragging him upwards with them.

It's the curse that the Winchester's have passed on to him, to never feel enough, to always have to go the extra mile...but Cas knows, he's sure that it's that sentiment that has brought the brothers so far. It's what keeps them beating down a new path, a new path of selflessness and flawed, though sincere love.

And now he fights to move at the same speed as them, to follow them into some honorable, violent bloody end wrapped up in joy and love because when he faces death it will be with his family smiling and crying tears of lonesomeness, because the don't want him to go...they need him. And really isn't that all that anyone can ask? To be missed when they are gone?

And so long ago Cas turned his back on angels and heaven and glory, so long ago he knew what he knows even better now...the loyalty and love, the warmth that bleeds from the Winchester's sacred souls into him...is well worth the sacrifice. Having this, these moments with Sam and Dean were well worth it, saving lives instead of taking them with cold judgement, making mistakes but having the freedom to fix them.

He has something no other angel had, something no other angel had ever given him.

Thou art giving and forgiving,

Ever blessing, ever blest,

Wellspring of the joy of living,

Ocean depth of happy rest!

Thou our Father, Christ our Brother,

All who live in love are Thine;

Teach us how to love each other,

Lift us to the joy divine.

("Hey you good? Kinda got knocked around."

Sam hmms in response, "Yeah I'm good, you?"

"Yeah." Dean returns simply.

"Kinda loosing your touch aren't you old man?"

"Sammy?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

Sam laughs under his breath, causing the bed to vibrate a little. "Oh you musta been too busy being a little bitch to Cas to be badass this hunt."

There's an affronted sounding growl from Dean and a 'whoosh' followed by a gasp from Sam, then Cas sees the popcorn bowl fall to the floor, empty. Silence for a second.

"Dean Winchester."

"Don't you Dean Winchester me."

"You're cleaning up every single piece of this popcorn."

"The hell I am."

"Fine, I'm sleeping in your bed then, you can sleep in hear on all these little kernels."

"The hell you are."

"So intelligent Dean."

"Gah, speaking of little bitches...stop pinching me Sammy," he whines, "That's my sore side."

Sam's tones soften immediately, "I thought you said you were okay."

"I am," Dean returns, the playful annoyance gone from their conversation now, "I'm good, just your gigantor fingers in my ribs aren't exactly compatible for comfort.")

It falls quiet after that again, Cas feels Sam's legs stretch out and he nearly gets pushed off the bed. He listens to the younger brother's breaths ease out and go soft and deep. Cas turns his head to find Sam asleep turned towards his brother, their shoulders and arms pressed together, his hair fanned out over the pillow, fluttering the fabric of Dean's t-shirt every time he sighs out a sleepy breath.

Dean looks from the tv and meets Cas' gaze his lips quirking in a crooked smile. Cas returns it, can see with Dean's slouching posture sleep is close. He turns back to the tv screen and even he has to admit it's a rather beautiful overwhelming picture there.

Frodo and Sam have accomplished their mission, the ring is destroyed. Their scared and broken and they will never be the same...but they have triumphed. The eagles hold them safe between their dangerous claws and the wind rushes through their hair, surrounding them with relief and cool air. And even though they are still flying over hell itself they are safe, they are done...they did what they set out to do.

"That's what it was like, you know?" Dean's voice breaks through his thoughts. And Cas turns to look at him, and Dean's bright green eyes are on him, sparkling in the darkness.

Cas cocks his head to one side, "What?"

"Hell." Dean says softly, "Or when you came, it was like that." His fingers play with a frayed edge of his shirt but his eyes are locked on the screen. "I could feel you, just all this great, surging power and I could feel the wind from your wings, like a hurricane around us, and I was terrified Cas...but I could breathe again."

He turns his eyes back to Cas' and the friends don't look away, don't hide from the terrors of reliving that fateful day. "And then you were dragging me upwards again, back towards life and god, it hurt, but the wind...the clean air..."

He shrugs and shoots Cas another grin, "Anyways, that's what it was like."

"You never told me that before." Cas says softly.

"Yeah." Dean answers, and then clears his throat. "You sure you're good?"

Cas nods with a weary sigh, but shoots Dean a hopeful smile, "I just need some rest, but yes I'll be fine."

Dean nods, letting his head fall back against the pillows with a grateful smile on his face and Cas watches his eyes grow heavier until their hidden with his lids, his breath in perfect tandem with his brother's beside him.

Mortals, join the happy chorus,

Which the morning stars began;

Father love is reigning o'er us,

Brother love binds man to man.

Cas sighs watching them, his heart overflowing with fondness and relief that they had helped him, fought for him today. That they were still here after that godawful deal they made with Billie. This...this right here was why no other angel would ever understand him. He didn't think there would be another opportunity or brotherhood like this ever again.

He's happy to have waited all his long life just to fight to the end with these overgrown boys who fought and loved like men. And while he may never be what they are to each other he will be to them what no body else ever will be. Partner, protector, savior...best friend. He will lead them back to each other (each other's saving grace and solid rock) every time they fight and go separate ways, he will pull nature together and apart to save them and keep them together, to keep them the violent, loyal, sincere family they are...to keep them his.

To keep fighting alongside them, to keep trying to do good with them... to keep all of them trying to be their best for each other, for this world...for humanity. And Cas may not be human but he knows with dazzling clarity the beauty, complexity and preciousness of mankind..and that's his privilege and treasure...that's why he always remembers what he is, and never wishes to be different.

And just like he's said, I have no regrets, I would do it all again...even if it costs me my life. And he means it. Angel or not, human or not...Dean and Sam are his family, his everything.

Ever singing, march we onward,

Victors in the midst of strife,

Joyful music leads us Sunward

In the triumph song of life.

...tbc

Review! :) Lemme know what you think of my Cas?! ;)

More coming soon:)

Sorry my LOTR geek showed, lol. Also I'm not sure why but after I finished watching this episode this old hymn was just resounding in my head...I hope it goes.