Hidden Flames

'Cause I've done some things that I can't speak

And I tried to wash you away, but you just won't leave'

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Usually after a mission, Tsunade advised the shinobi to take at least two weeks to recover, especially if it had been a particularly tough one. She had taken one look at Sakura's injuries and instructed her to take an extra week. Her bones had healed nicely, but the bruises took much longer to recover from and she knew Sakura would be busy at the hospital with no time to worry about her own injuries.

Sakura had nodded, her mind a million miles away as the Godaime gave her orders. Three weeks was going to be torture for the poor girl. Three weeks of nothing to do, three weeks alone with her thoughts...Was she being punished for the mistakes she had made in Kumogakure? It certainly felt like it.

On the first day of her three weeks off, Sakura had spent her time cleaning the entire apartment from top to bottom. She had gotten down on her hands and knees to scrub the baseboards, cleaned out the fridge and pantry, had washed every single dish they owned. On the second day, Sakura rearranged the furniture of the living room. It took an hour to move it back once Kyo disapproved of the arrangement. As he pushed the couch back against the wall where it had been originally, Sakura had debated on whether or not to argue or get angry. In the end, she didn't have the energy to yell about it.

It was on the third day that she had started feeling as if the walls were closing in on her. Kyo had left early in the morning to get to the hospital to meet with the board of directors. He had kissed her on her temple and warned her that it was looking to be a long day for him and that she should try to get out of the house for a bit before leaving her alone in their cold, sterile home. Sakura sat on the white, leather couch that had been replaced in it's oh-so-special spot and hugged her knees to her chest, watching the door for nearly an hour after he left.

She could still smell the cleaner she had used to mop the floors and it burned with every breath she inhaled. Wrinkling her nose, she walked to the hall closet and pulled a box of her belongings she had brought over from her own apartment. It was full of things Kyo had decided didn't 'fit' with the rest of the decor. She pulled out her silky, purple pillow she used to have on her own couch and tucked it under her arm. Digging through the box, she found two candles and a lighter, checking the scent to make sure they didn't clash; Apple Strudel and Autumn Leaves. It would be an interesting mixture.

With her pillow clutched in her arm, Sakura set the candles down on the crystal clear, glass coffee table and lit the wick. They crackled from the dust they had gathered, but the smell was already soothing. She glanced at the clock and sighed. It had been less than an hour since Kyo had left the apartment. Biting the nail of her thumb, she stood from the couch and walked through the halls of the apartment, running her fingers along the frames of the art Kyo had hanging on the walls. She had dusted them and scrubbed any speck of dirt from the glass. The closets were organized, the bookshelves were completely void of dust, and she had even ironed and sorted all of their clothes in color order. Maybe there was something left to do in the bathroom.

She opened the door and stepped onto the cold, white marble floors. It was all perfectly clean and looked as if it belonged in a magazine showcasing beautiful, unobtainable houses for housewives to fantasize about. She had looked at several magazines like it at her mother's and never would have imagined she would be living in one of the pictures for the rest of her life. With a frown, she pulled the door back shut but hesitated as she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror. Her face was thin and the dark circles under her eyes made her look like a zombie...which was exactly how she felt. But, it was still surprising to see it up close.

Sakura walked to the vanity mirror and flipped the switch on the wall, illuminating her face under the bright bulbs. She looked like her self, but not. Was this what it was like to go back to life after an affair? Was she supposed to look as awful as she felt on the inside? Was she supposed to miss him this much? It didn't make sense to her. This was exactly what she had wanted. From the moment Tsunade handed her the scroll, she was begging to be back home and now that she was, all she wanted was to go back to that night in their shared bedroom where he made her feel things she still had trouble believing.

It was the night she replayed over and over in her head since she had walked into the apartment. She laid in bed the first two nights, tormented by the memories that played in her head like a movie, showing her exactly what she would never have again. Like a fire slowly consuming everything in its path, she could feel her want and desire creep through her again. It felt good to feel something, though she didn't want to admit it. The second voice in her head returned with a whisper, telling her that this was all okay, she was supposed to feel like this. It coaxed her into touching herself in the shower that morning before Kyo had woke and another wave of guilt washed over her as her fiance kissed her as she walked from the bathroom.

Her cheeks flushed at the memory and she shifted on her feet, turning to the side to examine herself. She pulled her shirt up and over her head, dropping it to the floor. Her hair fell past her breasts, completely covering them behind a curtain of pink. When had it gotten so long? She had let it grow free the last two years. Pursing her lips, Sakura reached into the bottom drawer of the vanity and pulled out a pair of scissors. She grabbed the chunk of hair in front of her and snipped it right at her collar bone. Ribbons of pink fell like snow into the sink and she scoffed at the sight of her lop-sided hair. Well, she had come this far, there was no stopping now.

It was as if she had lost five pounds just from the hair cut. She scooped the loose hair into her hand and flushed it down the toilet before taking care of the strands she had missed. The back was just a bit shorter and the strands that framed her face fell to her collar. She shook it around her head and smiled at her reflection. This was what she missed. This was the real Sakura.

Tossing the scissors back into the drawer, she hurried to the bedroom closet and threw open the doors. Her crispt, white nurse's uniform hung neatly inside the closet, brighter than the other clothes. It stood out like a beacon and she hurriedly put it on along with a pair of tights and her most comfortable work shoes. Three weeks be damned. She refused to sit around feeling sorry for herself when there was work to be done.

"Sakura, you're supposed to be resting." Shizune frowned as she sorted a desk full of patient charts. She signed her signature to the bottom of the page, closed the folder and scowled up at the pink haired medic, disapproving of her short leave of absence.

"I know, but I've rested. I'm fine. It wasn't that bad of an injury, I promise." She twisted at the waist, side to side to show Shizune that she was healed and held back the whimper from the pain she felt. She would survive bruises. It didn't get in her way and wouldn't hinder her ability to do her job. With a frown, Shizune pinched the bridge of her nose. "Tsunade will have some very strong words for me, but fine. We're short on staff today so I want you to pick up the quick check-ups around the clinic." With a snap of the chart she dismissed the girl. Sakura grinned and hurried to the busy nurse's station.

It wasn't hard finding something to do. With the weather growing cold, there was an abundance of ill patients that needed tending to. By noon, she had already seen twice as many people as the other nurses, volunteering for anything she could get her hands on. They gladly gave up the flu cases and anyone needing shots in their butt.

She hugged a chart to her chest as she pulled an elderly woman's door closed, ignoring the grumbling and complaining coming from the room. The woman was well known for being a hypochondriac and every cold and flu season, she would insist on being admitted for a month "just in case". As Sakura turned back to the chart room, she froze, her sneakers squeaking across the tile floor. The entire hospital slowed to a stop around her as she clutched the chart at her chest a bit tighter.

Standing beside an exam room, fifteen feet away was a very familiar, tall figure. His shoulder was against the wall and that familiar orange book was in his hands at his side. Kakashi watched her from the hall, the corner of his mask lifting just slightly in a small smile. It sent immediately butterflies soaring through her midsection. Her feet moved on their own, taking two steps toward him but she may as well have been floating. The little voice in her head rejoiced at the sight of him and urged her to hurry to him.

"Sakura?" She narrowed her eyes as her name was called from behind her in a familiar voice. Whirling around, she stared at the face of her fiance making his way up the hospital hall. He had his white lab coat on and he was being followed by several men in suits who all looked as if they were unimpressed at their surroundings. Sakura had seen them before when they toured the new facilities. They had seemed so passive, as if the state of the art hospital was only so-so. Kyo scanned her over with his eyes and scowled at the sight of her hair before he excused himself politely from the company of the director's. He took her by the elbow and pulled her to the side of the hallway. Sakura glanced over his shoulder to see Kakashi watching them, his eyes narrowed and...jealous? Her heart fluttered at the thought.

"What are you doing here?" Kyo asked quietly. "You're supposed to be resting."

"I'm fine." She was beginning to hate those words. "I had to get out of the house. I was going crazy just sitting there."

"I can see that." He glanced over her hair before wiping his hand over his face with a sigh. "We can talk about this later. Don't over work yourself. You're still healing." As she nodded, Kyo turned back to the group of men and gestured for them to follow him into the intensive care unit of the hospital. Once he was clearly out of sight, she spun back around and felt her hopes crash against the floor.

Kakashi had left. Had he even been there at all or had she imagined him? She pressed a hand to the aching bruises on her side and decided to take a short break before any of the other nurses could pass off their duties on to her. She ducked quickly into a dark, empty room and leaned against the counter that ran along the wall, thankful for the moment to gather her thoughts. Seeing him again broke the dam she had been pushing all thoughts of him behind and they flooded around her now, enclosing her in a tiny bubble of him. She could almost remember how he had smelled. He had looked so good and that smile...Had it meant he was feeling just as miserable as she had been the past few days?

Behind her, the door creaked open and Sakura rolled her eyes. Damn. They had found her. "I'm just resting a bit." She called over her shoulder but was startled by the sight of Kakashi closing the door with a soft click. She whirled around, her fingers gripping the edge of the sink hard enough that she was afraid she would break the wood around it. "Kakashi." She whispered, wishing she could stop the rush of heat between her legs. "What are you doing here?"

"I was visiting a friend. I didn't expect to see you back to work so soon." He kept his distance from her, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he studied her hair. "But, I'm glad I did." He took a step toward her and Sakura instinctively took one back. She felt cornered, trapped by her desire to be near him and her fear of getting caught. Shaking her head, she swallowed the lump that pressed hard against her throat.

"Kakashi-"

"I know." He hung his head, a look of sadness washing over his face. Sakura felt as if she had been stabbed in the gut. She hated knowing she made him feel like that. They had both hurt each other that night in the hospital and his words still hung in her head, stinging her every time they replayed. "I won't put you in a position to get caught. I didn't even plan on talking to you." Kakashi pushed a hand through his hair, his eyes looking everywhere but at her. "I just think we should talk. The way we left things in Kumogakura...it didn't feel right and I apologize."

"It's okay." She whispered, unsure of what else she could possibly say to him. Everything she had rehearsed and went over and over in her mind the past few days seemed so...insignificant now. She had been so sure she would have yelled at him, slapped him, or called him out for being an asshole. But, he wasn't. He was trying to take the most painless way out, to end their affair like ripping a band-aid off.

"Will you meet me tonight? Outside the village gates."

"I-I can't. I..." She had Kyo. She couldn't keep doing this to him, no matter how much her body begged for just once last taste. If she went to Kakashi, if she met him, Sakura knew it would begin again. It would fan the flames she had tried to snuff out. Even after Kakashi had stomped on them, after she had spent the past few days ignoring her desires despite how badly that little voice begged for it, it had to be over. Kyo didn't deserve to have his fiance sneak around behind his back and lie to him. She was tired of feeling like this horrible monster.

"I'll wait until midnight. If you're not there by then...Well...We'll both have our answer, then." The silence stretched thick between them and Sakura ached to touch him. Instead, she nodded, feeling as if some invisible force had both of her arms, pulling her in two different directions at once. As he left the room, shutting the door with a soft click behind him, Sakura sucked in a deep, trembling breath, feeling as if she had been holding it in the entire time.

AN- And, they're back. I apologize for having to cut the story into two parts but it works best this way. Thanks for reading the first part and this next one! I can't believe people actually like what I have to write! As always, I'm open for constructive criticism!