Surprise, everybody! I bet y'all thought you'd seen the last of me!

Well, I'm still here, and I'm still writing, believe it or not.

While it might seem like I abandoned Hyperdemise, the truth is that I'm actually making a timeline until the very last chapter, pretty much bringing the chances of completing it to a whopping hundred percent. Hell, I might even be able to update weekly if I have a script with me.

However, there's a little bit of an issue with that.

Basically, I'm bored.

Thus, I'm writing this thing here!

In truth, I just wanted a chance to write Uni after her considerable loss of respect for Noire in VII, you see? Then again, I guess my reasons don't really matter to the readers, huh?

Well, I hope y'all enjoy it! And if you do, reviews are appreciated afterwards!

Disclaimer: ... Just how necessary is this, really?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

•How to Not Confess Properly for Gun Dummies!•

1) Fuss over the bullet, mess up the shot.

The hour of truth is nigh. It's a situation that's happened so many times before, but that doesn't make it any harder. A task like this is requires courage, audacity, more courage, boldness, even more courage, much nerve, and Uni just realized these are all just different ways to say "courage."

Of course, this sort of blunder is unsurprising. After all, she's nervous.

No, maybe that's not the right wording; rather than simply nervous, Uni is very, very, very nervous. Incredibly nervous. Astonishingly nervous.

So nervous, in fact, that the Candidate feels like she would be able to shoot at a giant dogoo three meters away with a freaking shotgun, and its pellets would miss their target completely, hit several rocks, and come back right to her face alongside all the small pebbles dislodged by the impact.

Just for the record, that means she's really nervous.

Then again, how could she not be? Here she is, lying on the large bed in her dark bedroom, clad in the fancy thin black dress that she calls her nightwear, and staring intently at the message displayed on her black smartphone. It looks right back at her, just waiting for a command to head off towards its target without fail!

The words before her don't form just any text, though; they're much more than that.

They're a confession.

And just the thought alone reddens the girl's cheeks.

After all these years of empty hope, of waiting for her beloved—and how that word alone makes her feel giddy—to notice her affections, of Uni trying to make her feelings as obvious as possible despite her own embarrassment, the ravenette is finally about to take matters into her own hands and be as blunt as Blanc's giant hammer.

This is the day- er, night she'll confess to Nepgear!

The fact that such an important action will be done by message is irrelevant. It also definitely isn't because Uni hasn't built up the courage to do it in person.

With that in mind, fighting the strong urge to just give up and call this off, the girl's scarlet eyes wander over the long message once more. It's cheesy, old-fashioned and has about thirty-one different compliments before finally getting to the point, all the while replacing every single instance of Nepgear's name with words like 'dear' for massive damage, both to the girl in question and to its embarrassed writer herself.

All that is left is to send it, Uni realizes, gulping in nervousness.

"..."

Well, maybe she should revise the confession another time...

*One hour later*

The raven-haired girl propped against the wall brings a hand to her chin as she thinks, her feet shuffling around in an attempt to adjust the white sheets over them.

What would be a romantic way to talk about strawberries...?

*Yet another hour later*

"Now..." Uni begins as she turns to her side, feeling the cold of the floor beneath as she continues to stare at the message. "What rhymes with 'amethyst'?"

As the gears in her brain begin to turn, the Candidate brings yet another cookie to her mouth.

*One more hour later*

Uni squeals hard into her pillow as yet another fantasy plays out in her mind, hugging the fluffy object as strongly as possible.

Suddenly, she stops.

Then, she blinks.

"The heck am I doing...?"

*By this point, it's pretty much the next day*

"Say, do you think people value those fancy, traditional words nowadays?" Uni asks as she leans back on the black chair, phone in hands as she writes away.

"It depends, honestly," Kei answers without even looking from across the office's desk, organizing several papers at once and occasionally signing with the pen in her grasp. "These kinds of terms are anything but optimal when you wish to create an approachable aura, so to speak, but they certainly leave a strong impression."

"Is that so..." A puzzled look falls upon Uni's face as she thinks. This may be a bit trickier than she expected...

"When in doubt, just aim for honesty," K-Sha adds with a smile as she walked in with a stack of papers in hands, placing them on the desk with a huff. "Some things are hit-or-miss, but honesty always works, right?"

"You may have a point..." Uni mumbles to herself before resuming her work on the phone, leaving only the noises of shuffling papers and pens in use sounding through the office.

...

...

...

"By the way," Kei eventually begins, raising an eyebrow, "what are you so focused on writing?"

Uni freezes.

"... Nothing important."

*Shouldn't she be asleep by now?*

The Candidate lets out a long, comfortable sigh after downing an entire glass of milk at once, placing the cartoon back in the fridge before heading to the sink.

When it comes to a night drink, this is the best, isn't it? Now, if only she could find out where Noire hid all that chocolate milk she thought Uni hadn't seen her buy...

... Maybe in the cosplay room?

*I mean, seriously, it's a weekday!*

Uni lets out another sigh as she stares at the computer's screen, her tired eyes struggling to stay open. Yet another fruitless Goggle search is displayed before her, just like the last twenty ones.

What's up with this?! She just can't seem to find anything good online, just the most cliché compliments ever!

Then again, maybe Uni simply doesn't know what to search for in the first place.

"... Maybe if I check on a book or two instead...?"

*Noire wouldn't approve of this sort of attitude...*

"And... done!" Uni mumbles weakly as she finally finishes her flawless confession, now about three times bigger than before. Reading through it for the last time, a victorious smile graces the ravenette's lips as she falls back on her bed.

This is it. Just one more step.

Without any further hesitation, as her tiredness grows by the second, the Candidate's finger touches the 'send' button. Just a moment later the message disappears from the screen, replaced by a blurry notice, no doubt meaning that the transfer was a success.

The biggest of sighs leaves Uni's lips as she lets her arm — and the phone alongside it — fall to her side . No turning back now, she muses to herself, all that's left is for her to sleep through night and wait for an answer.

Deciding to do just that, the Lastationite Candidate allows her head to turn to the right, her cheek touching the mattress as scarlet eyes begin to close. The last image they see before is that of the phone's bright screen, still proclaiming her victory.

And, for the first time, she manages to read it.

Your message has been successfully sent to Noire (U)!

And so, Uni closes her eyes, allowing darkness to take her over as she basks in the happiness of victory.

...

...

...

'Now wait just a goddamn minute here.'

Scarlet eyes snap open, still facing the phone.

The message is still there, glowing brightly all over Uni's face, each word far beyond clear to the girl.

So, she stares.

And stares.

Then blinks.

Only to stare again afterwards.

And then-

.

.

.

All things considered, Noire hasn't been having a great day at all—nor a great night, for that matter.

It would be a lie to say that she's not used to doing lots of paperwork, but as she sits behind her fancy desk, signing documents far after midnight in her usual ridiculously fast pace, Noire can say without a doubt that this is too much.

It's not that unusual for an event or two to happen which results on a bit more of paperwork, true, but for sixty-three troublesome events to be triggered in the same day is just beyond stupid. The last time Noire was in this sort of situation was years ago, when ASIC was still a thing!

The ravenette lets out a huff at the mere thought. To think that she swallowed her pride in order to call Kei for help, and it still wasn't enough! At this point, just about anything idiotic could happen and she wouldn't be surprised in the slightest—

'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!'

"Kgh?!" Noire instinctively drops her pen and covers her ears as a loud, earth-shattering scream just goes off in her own freaking mind. As the girl grits her teeth, closing her eyes to try and ignore just how utterly dazed she feels, the hellish sound continues, not even daring to become bearable for a single second.

Then, after what feels like an eternity... it stops, leaving the CPU taking ragged breaths in the silence of her own office.

It takes five minutes for Noire to recompose herself, two more to accept that, yes, she did, in fact, hide under her desk at some point, and one more to actually bring herself to get out of there.

And, if one were to ask about what happened next, the ravenette would most certainly explain that she decided against resuming her paperwork, and instead calmly strolled to her room in order to rest after what was obviously a nasty hallucination caused by exhaustion.

The CPU wouldn't mention that her trembling hand was holding onto her rapier as she walked through the hallways, of course. Neither that she "calmly strolled" approximately five times the speed of what a sane person would call a stroll. And Noire would never, ever admit to sleeping with the lights on that night, hugging her fluffy and comforting dolphin plushie as if her life depended on it.

... She'd also never admit to having said plushie, but that's another story entirely.