Hey...how's life? So, this plot bunny just hopped into my head and I just could not ignore it. So, this isn't meant to bash Cisco or anything, but this is kind of what I think was going on inside of his head with the whole Flashpoint thing. I'm kind of proud how it turned out; excluding the ending, I think it sucks. Now, if you want more chapters, you gotta' let me know with a review. ;) I'm tempted to do more chapters, and I'm also tempted to write another story exactly like this one; but in Barry's P.O.V. So, yeah, lemme' know what ya' want. ;)

And for all of you have been patiently waiting for the next update of Seventy Two Hour Insomnia...I'm afraid that you're going to have to be patient even longer. :( I promise that I'm not giving it up! It's just that life is crazy hectic right now. Between school, up-cycling and countless other things, I don't really have the time. Now I've had these three stories written up for a while, but I haven't had the time to put them up. Crazy hectic.

And also, listen to like, your saddest song during this. I listened to a few, but my main one was "sad song for broken hearts" on YouTube. So yeah, make sure that you do that! ;)

So yeah, I hope you understand and please enjoy and leave a review! :)

Disclaimer: I own no part of this.

The first time it happens, Cisco barely notices.

He's too busy caught up in a fit of rage to notice the tears that silently streak down Barry's cheeks.

He had just yelled at him; again. And shoved him out of the away, muttering something about Barry's incompetence, and how Cisco could have ever have become his friend. Now, Cisco realizes that it was really just ridiculous.

Barry didn't mean to do it; he had made an honest mistake. Cisco can barely even remember what exactly Barry had done to make Cisco so mad. But really, it wouldn't take much, because Cisco's anger towards the man was already at its boiling point.

And it wouldn't take much for that volcano of emotion to erupt; sending anger and hatred spewing out everywhere. Causing destruction and devastation amongst all of the individuals around him; but to especially Barry.

One man who had been the cause of it all.

Or had he?

Cisco ignores the broken and dejected look on Barry's face, because really, he couldn't care less right now. He's too caught up in his hatred for the man to really even care what happens to him.

The words that come out of Cisco's mouth is surely full of hatred, he's not even sure what he did say; he doesn't remember. He just knows that whatever it is, it hits home. And soon the tears are streaming down Barry's cheeks.

Good.

Cisco believes that Barry deserves it.

...

The second time it happens, Cisco is walking down the hall of Star Labs, mindlessly messing with something on his tablet.

It's midnight, but Cisco was busy working on a pointless project for something or other.

He doesn't know or care, he just wants something caffeinated to help him. He yearns for the taste of coffee so that he can keep going. Insomnia was a natural occurrence for him after a tough mission.

The Flash had gone after a man who could control memories, with Cisco and Caitlin in the background helping Barry for assistance. Basically, what the man could do was temporarily paralyze any human being, and play all of their worst memories right before their eyes.

Not just in their minds, but in their consciousness.

It was like they were reliving them all over again.

And the man, who Cisco had forgotten the name he'd picked out for him, it was in the middle of the night, he couldn't help his loss of memory, had done exactly this to Barry. But the thing is, the memories don't stop until each and every horrendous memory has fully played out.

There was nothing anybody could do to stop it.

When Barry had finally returned from a failed fight, Cisco had practically chewed him out for messing up the mission again, just like Cisco claimed Barry always did. It took Joe yelling at Cisco to stop, for him to actually quit. Cisco hadn't even cared that Barry had just been through his own worst kind of hell.

Cisco didn't know why he had done that; perhaps it was his way to blow off some steam since they had failed a mission. Joe had tried to make Cisco apologize, but Barry had shrugged it off, saying that it was no big deal.

Cisco hadn't even cared enough to notice that the light in Barry's eyes had darkened, dimmed. Cisco had simply ignored it, because after all, didn't he hate the man? So when he was walking down the hall and heard quiet sniffling, like somebody was crying, Cisco had decided to check it out.

He glanced into the one of the side rooms, one no one used, he wasn't even sure why it was still there, and was surprised to find Barry sitting on the floor, back pressed up against the wall, head tilted back as his knee was pulled up by one hand, and his eyes were closed; tears streaming down his cheeks as his fingers moved over each other aimlessly.

Cisco clenched his jaw, ignoring the sight and walked on quietly; pretending he had never even see it. He put one thought in his head and focused on that one thing only.

Where was some coffee?

...

The third time it happens, Cisco had almost felt a hint of remorse at his actions.

But then that deep loathing for Barry took it's place. Earlier that day, Cisco had given Barry the cold shoulder, claiming that Barry didn't need his help. Claiming that he wouldn't ever need Cisco's help, because the Flash could take care of himself.

After all, he only seemed to care about himself.

Barry had simply nodded with a swallow, and let Cisco be by himself. The light in Barry's eyes, once again darkening. But Cisco didn't really care, because for one thing, he didn't believe that the light in Barry Allen's eyes could ever disappear, and secondly, he was too caught up in that mind blocking hatred to even notice the impact of his actions.

It had been a day off for Team Flash, meaning that everybody could have just a regular day; as long as there were no emergency calls. But that night, Cisco had realized that he had forgotten his tablet at the facility. He had entered with one of his keys, and had grabbed his tablet.

But on the way out, he had thought that he'd heard a sound of a...thud?

Almost like a continuous thud and a pounding. Out of curiosity and only a slight suspicion of an intruder, Cisco had made his way towards the noise, and had found himself ending up at the gym where Barry trained.

He entered the doorway, the room almost completely dark except for a small corner where the noise was coming from. There, standing in the corner of the room, was Barry, pounding away at a punching bag at lightning speed.

Light, but strategic hits placed on the bag as Barry breathed heavily and practically bounced along the ground all around the bag. Cisco frowned, puzzled as to why Barry was here, training, when it was his day off.

But suddenly Cisco realized, that maybe it wasn't about training, but a way of self-release.

He was snapped out of thoughts when he literally heard a loud snap and heard Barry grunt in pain as he stopped and recoiled back; clutching his hand. It was only then did Cisco realize that Barry's hands were bleeding. And apparently they had been for a while, because the bag and the floor surrounding him was painted in a coat of red.

Cisco winced as he realized that Barry had just broken a finger. But that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was when Barry put the finger between his teeth and yanked.

A loud crunch was heard and Cisco felt nausea building up in his stomach at the sound and concept of Barry resetting his own broken finger.

Barry hissed in pain, before shaking his head and wringing out his hands. He then proceeded to punch the bag just like before. Cisco frowned and lightly shook his head; not bothering to question the meaning behind the whole occurrence. After all, wasn't this a fair punishment for the man? Cisco forced himself to believe it. The man had killed his brother.

Not intentionally.

A small voice whispered from the back of his mind and he clenched his jaw, willing past that thought and continuing on his way down the hall to the outdoors where he would get in his vehicle and drive home. He would do his best to forget that this night even happened.

Little did he know that in the morning, when everybody swarms Star Labs once again, that the training room would be completely clean; any previous occurrences officially wiped from existence.

Much like Cisco's brother had been.

...

The fourth time it happens, Cisco finds the words leaving his mouth without any consent. Almost like he's become so used to it, he doesn't even realize what he's saying. It just happens. Barry's just awoken from unconsciousness after a nearly lethal fight with a meta-human.

He had gotten pretty banged up, but had once again survived a deadly fight. Cisco had actually felt relief for a moment, before that same powerful, loathing settled in now that Barry was actually all right. Barry was alive, so Cisco didn't have any regrets, he could keep on treating him the same.

Caitlin was checking on Barry after he had woken up, and Cisco was in the same room, at the computers like always; not really paying any attention, because he really couldn't care less.

"You nearly died," He heard Caitlin saying in that serious voice of hers. Cisco's fingers continued typing.

"It's all in a day's work," Barry's raw, and abnormally low voice declares, and Cisco finds himself rolling his eyes at the words for no apparent reason. But does there have to be any reason?

"You're very lucky to be alive, Barry." Caitlin says, and Cisco feels that same extreme hatred filling him again, making his head unclear. He cuts in before anyone has the chance to speak.

"Unlike Dante. But we all know the reason for that, now don't we?" He questions in a dangerous tone, and sees Barry's jaw clench and that same dejected look enter his eyes.

"Cisco..." Caitlin begins to say, but he cuts her off by standing up and walking out of the room in one swift motion. He doesn't care what she has to say. He doesn't care that Barry nearly died and the first thing Cisco says to him afterwards is an insult. He doesn't care about what he just did.

He doesn't care.

He doesn't care, he doesn't care. He's just too angry to feel anything other.

Little did he know that those words were finally enough to shatter the light in Barry's eyes and break the hero.

...

The fifth time it happens, Cisco is beyond shocked to see it. He never once believed that it would come to this. He accidentally stumbles upon it in the lab one day. He had believed that he was the only one at Star Labs at the time, but he soon found out that he was terribly wrong.

He had walked into the main room, and found Barry holding a knife to his arm; scarlet liquid dripping off of his limbs as the knife was dragged across his arm in an experienced sweep. Barry stood by a sink, obviously not realizing that Cisco had come in, and Cisco realized for the first time that the light in Barry's eyes was...gone.

A broken and dull look replacing it. Cisco was finally able to break himself out of his stupor and spoke up, moving over to him quickly.

"Whoa, dude, what do you think you are doing?" Cisco questioned, and Barry jumped just the slightest, glancing at Cisco before rinsing the knife and his arms with his speed.

"It's nothing," Barry claimed as he rolled his sleeves down and began to walk away from Cisco.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second." Cisco said as he followed Barry. He turned around and looked at Cisco, and Cisco swallowed as he suddenly noticed. The bags under Barry's eyes were so dark, he was so much skinnier and paler than before, and his eyes...they were so...broken.

Cisco bit his lip and sighed. "That is not healthy. Why do you do that?" Cisco asked, but from the rapidly building, sickening feeling in his stomach, he knew the reason why.

"Why isn't it healthy? I mean, I won't ever cut too deep, because I know my job here as the Flash, and look," He said, holding out his arm and pulling his sleeve up to reveal perfectly smooth skin; not one hint of a scar, whatsoever. "It's already gone. So, why is it not healthy?" He questioned, carefully avoiding the cause of it all.

"Yeah, but, man..." Cisco trailed off, not really sure how to answer a question like that. He did have a point. How could Cisco explain to him that it was bad for him? Not physically, but psychologically?

"Besides, I mean, what do you care about what I do?" It wasn't rude; just curious. Cisco paused, mouth hanging open for a moment. Why did he suddenly care? This was the man he had supposedly hated for so long. So why did Cisco care about what Barry did? He noticed Barry watching him, a tiny hint of hope in his eyes.

"I-I don't know..." He stated quietly, and immediately wished he had said something different when he saw that small beginning of a light fade away abruptly. Barry nodded with a hard swallow before walking away; leaving Cisco to stand in the middle of the lab, confused as to what had just happened.

He had caused this...he had broken Barry.

And for no good reason.

Okay, there was a good reason, but was it good enough? Cisco found that once he thought about it, truly and actually thought about it, he realized that he would have done the same thing that Barry had done.

He suddenly felt very sick and ashamed over his actions. Barry hadn't deserved all of that...it was just a way for Cisco to release all of his turmoil and anguish. He punished Barry because he felt that he needed to, and it made him feel better in the moment. But now he realizes that what he did himself, was unforgivable.

How could he have done this to Barry?

A man that he once had treated as a brother.

Maybe Barry did deserve some of it, but with the way Barry believes that everything is his own fault, and how he carries the weight of the world on his shoulders...Cisco had just made that unbelievably worse.

And he wasn't sure if there was any way to ever fix it and make amends.

...

The sixth time it happens, Cisco observes Barry quietly from the other side of the room; guilt evident in his own actions. Barry moves slowly, dully, and tiredly, almost as if he was a zombie. An emotionless zombie.

Maybe Barry did this to himself on purpose, because if you can't feel, you can't get hurt, right?

It sickened Cisco to realize that he had driven Barry to this point. But not just by himself; many others had helped him to achieve that goal. But he's begun to realize just how much his own actions had affected Barry, and that the deep loathing inside of him, had actually been more of an anger at the world and self-loathing because he hadn't spent enough time with Dante.

Cisco had never told him how much he'd meant to him. So, no, he hadn't really been mad at Barry, maybe a little, but not as mad at him as he had been mad at himself. Cisco realizes this, right before an alarm goes off overhead.

An alarm for a mission.

Barry glances at Joe who stands across the room, and speeds off to change into his Flash suit. Cisco shakes off all of his thoughts, as he and Caitlin read the mission alert and explain to Barry when he returns.

Cisco tries to use a gentler tone, but it's as if Barry doesn't notice. Cisco knows that dread fills his voice as he explains that the mission is against that same meta-human who causes paralysis and bad memories. Barry simply nods with a swallow, knowing that this has to happen in order to stop the man from terrorizing Central City any longer.

"Hey, Barry," Cisco calls out before he can leave and Barry turns around, jaw tense as if he's awaiting a verbal beating. Cisco sighs. "Be careful out there, okay?" He says and Barry nods, before he's gone in a yellow blur.

Little did Cisco know what those words would mean to him in the future.

It's later on, when they suddenly hear Barry stop talking as he faces the villain, silence for an eery five seconds, before his breathing becomes heavier and quiet and desperate pleads come through the comms.

They all share a worried glance, and Cisco feels his heart practically beating out of his chest, because Barry doesn't beg like that.

It goes on for another minute, one of the longest minutes of Cisco's life, before they suddenly lose connection with Barry over the comms. Cisco immediately stands up and looks at Barry's vitals that are on display for the whole lab to see.

"No, no, no, no, no, this can't be happening." He declares when he sees the vitals dropping at a steady and rapid pace. They're nearly flat lining. "Damn it, Barry! Don't do this!" Cisco curses as he hits the table. He was just on his way to making amends, and now he might lose him, too?

Suddenly, things are a blur in the lab, as Joe is grabbing his jacket to head towards the fight to get Barry, Caitlin is preparing to use the back-up defibrillators in the suit in case he does flat line, and Cisco just stands there in disbelief, because how could this be happening?

Suddenly, a yellow blur speeds into the room and everybody's heads jerk up to watch as Barry stops abruptly, breathing heavily, a horrible choking sound coming from his lips that Cisco knows he'll never forget, and he shares one last glance at everyone in the room, before he collapses to the ground; a shrill and continuous beep filing the air as he flat lined.

Caitlin and Joe are rushing to his side, shouting Barry's as they kneel down next to him, but Cisco finds that he can't move.

It's almost as if his feet are glued to the ground as all he can do is stare at Barry's limp form; the blood gushing out of a stab wound in his chest.

Right where his heart is.

Even a speedster can't escape that without consequences. He watches as they try to resuscitate him, the buzzing of the defibrillators filling the air almost as loud as the continuous beep.

He can't go through this again...he just can't. He can't lose another brother. He had just began to get him back.

He can't just lose him.

He can't have Barry's final thoughts of Cisco being that the man hates him to the core. He can't feel that same regret he did with Dante; only that this one would be a much more heavy burden to bare. He can't lose him.

God, he can't lose him.

But if he lives...will they ever get the real Barry back?

The one whose smile lit up a room every time he walked in? He knew that the answer was no. Barry would never be fully back.

Because you can't fix something broken without a few cracks still showing.

Cisco feels the tears in his eyes as he looks at Barry lying on the cold ground; Joe's and Caitlin's hands slick with a crimson red that proved that this situation was all too real, as they tried and tried to bring Barry back to life. In the back of Cisco's mind, a part of him whispered that it's hopeless, and a part of him believed it, too.

But he didn't want to.

Barry couldn't go out like this.

He suddenly felt sick as everything seemed to play out around him in fast motion, while he was still stuck on slow motion.

He distantly heard somebody shouting his name, but all he could do was stare at Barry's dead body, praying that he comes back, because he can't lose another brother.

But part of him knew that even if he did come back, things would never be the same. Cisco could never bring Barry back fully after everything he had done to him. That same person is shouting his name, maybe more than one, he isn't sure, all he can do is stare and beg to any God out there.

He feels almost numb.

He finally snaps to his sense, and rushes over to Barry's side to help, the sight of Barry up close, filing him with even more dread and regret. Cisco performs CPR as Caitlin rushes around to try and save Barry. But Cisco can't feel anything besides that dread that's filling him up.

Because even if they can bring Barry back...

He feared that the hero was already gone.

So...yeah. There ya' have it. Thoughts? Want another chapter? Want another story from Barry's P.O.V. of this? Let me know with a review! ;)