.

Journal V

-Uchiha garden, Konoha-

"Mom, Mom, I entered the chūnin exam!"

"Oh? That's nice, dear."

"Mom, are you seriously going to pretend you don't notice Naomi hiding over your head in a tree?"

I smiled. "The eyes in the back of my head don't extend upward. It's a serious design flaw."

Minoru fixed me with a Look. "Mom, you have the Seikatsugan."

"And Naomi is working on her surveillance skills. Your point being?"

My son huffed, showing a level of maturity that completely warranted the chūnin rank. "Anyway, Tenten-sensei made me promise to never use a Kote. I think she's bitter about our first day as a team, when I pretended I had the Sharingan and used a genjutsu to—"

Sometimes I wonder if people ever look past my son's quiet exterior to see the chatterbox lurking inside. But I ignored that now in favor of listening. And listening.

And listening.

"My," I said when he'd run through the most recent account of his life's adventures and lifetime pranking achievements, "you weren't kidding when you said you haven't seen Minako recently. I feel honored that you're trusting me with blackmail material." And now I knew for sure who was responsible for the pink uchiwa on our front door. "But why haven't you hunted down your sister yet?"

Minoru's whole body perked up at the mention of his twin. "Isn't she out of the village until tomorrow?"

"Not according to the chūnin exam application she handed your father an hour—"

He didn't even stop to shut the gate behind him. I sighed. "Naomi, can you hop down and shut the gate?"

The tree-borne girl pouted. "Make Mikoto," she whined.

"Mikoto is inside taking her nap," I pointed out.

Naomi hopped down and shut the gate.

"Thank you," I said. "Now, maybe you should try hiding in the bushes. Your father will be home soon."

Naomi scampered off to gather as many rocks as she could. Her newest phase was taking every opportunity to try to hit Itachi with a rock. I just kept her away from conventional weapons. She'd never hit him, but I had to enforce some kind of boundary when Itachi thought being stabbed was cute.

In his defense, that was one time.

In my defense, I'd had a fever that day.

That sounds more incriminating than it should.

I let Naomi coat her rocks in mud (clever) and headed into the house to throw one of my Western-style dinners together. Spaghetti, I was thinking.

Naomi cackled outside and— "Naomi, bring me that senbon right now." Thank goodness for the Seikatsugan. I pulled a box of noodles out of the pantry and fished the other ingredients out of hiding, too. Hm, would Minako invite her teammates over for dinner? She tended to do that after longer missions. She liked to tease poor Sumire about Kazuo.

Minako had confided in me that Sumire liked Boruto (blech! said Minako), but no one was immune to the amazing charms of Uchiha Kazuo. I'd likewise confided to Minako that no one could resist the charms of Uchiha Itachi, either. She'd run from the room gagging. I'm not sorry.

One of Itachi's crows flew into the kitchen to let me know he'd be five minutes late today. My crows didn't come inside the kitchen.

I woke Mikoto up and told her she could come play with the crow. The disgraced bird informed me that it would never, ever come into my kitchen again. I laughed, then ran for Taiki's crib when he woke up crying.

And that was how Itachi found us—Naomi pelting him with mud, Mikoto pulling a summon's tailfeathers half-out, and Taiki fading to intermittent sobs while I turned the loudly boiling pot of water down and considered opening a box of noodles with one hand and the Seikatsugan.

"Welcome home," I said, crossing my eyes and then—well, we'll skip the "again" line in favor of "just a normal kiss."

Taiki reached his little arms out to Itachi (traitor, he was usually a momma's boy) and I resumed the dinner-making game. "Would cucumber salad be good?" I asked.

"Yesh," Mikoto said. I snorted.

"Honey?"

"It's nothing," Itachi said, ruffling Taiki's hair in a way that screamed "we'll be talking about some deep subject tonight, mark my words."

"Cucumber salad it is."

Sanae returned from her morning-until-dinner-prep shift at her favorite Akamichi restaurant and disappeared into her room. "Table," I called.

"Naomi can set it."

Well.

Fortunately for Sanae, the twins came bustling in a minute later and began throwing plates onto the table. I frowned. "Ten spots?" There were only seven of us here, and Minako's sensei wasn't one for dinner offers. "Taiki still uses the high chair," I pointed out dryly.

"Auntie Sakura, Sarada, and Uncle Sasuke are coming tonight," the twins said in tandem.

I blinked. I looked at Itachi in slight accusation. He met my gaze with the exact same expression. "And who invited them?" he asked.

It was the twins' turn to give each other sidelong glances. "Uh," said Minoru.

"You did," Minako tried. She rethought her words and confessed, "We told Sarada you invited them. And that Mom was making that triple-chocolate cake that Uncle Sasuke likes."

Ah, yes, a dessert that takes two hours to adequately prepare. Wonderful. I sighed and considered the fact that my kids hadn't eaten a family meal with Sasuke in over two years. The idiot boy always sniffed up new threats and went running off again before the ink of his mission reports dried. Ha, at least he didn't type them up! We'd never see him.

Uchiha men operated by summons, not by those sissy inventions called "mobile phones."

"Get some chairs, then," I said.

The twins eyed me to see if I would yell, but I didn't feel like losing any more energy today. Baby number eight had stolen enough already as it was.

"Sweetheart, could you recite the recipe?" (Shinobi household hack number one: Sharingan.)

"I'm not a cookbook," Itachi said with his usual fondness.

"That's right, you're an encyclopedia. Silly me. Was it two eggs?"

"Three," he corrected. "With the whites whipped."

"I'm not hopeless," I said. "Just forgetful. Can you call Naomi in?"

When I look at my days as a whole, they're pretty mundane, but when I think about them in the play-by-play, it's more than I ever thought I could handle.

"Hey Minoru, did you see the look on Boruto's face when I got him with that paintball?"

"Yeah, pretty slick. D'you think he'll get us back tonight like he threatened?"

"Well, it's Boruto."

"Itachi," I groaned, "put me out of my misery."

Itachi just laughed.

"Ah, Sarada, thanks for knocking. You know you don't have to, though."

Sarada blushed a bit grumpily and looked at the floor. Her parents were just now leaving their house and weren't in view yet, but I was pretty sure I knew the reason for her knocking. "He's not in view," I told my niece. "And even if he were, we're family. There's no need to impress him with manners." Not Sasuke, anyway.

"He has the Rinnegan," Sarada complained.

"Yes, but it's not activated," I said, enjoying the suspicious look at my abilities. "Uchiha men can be intimidating, though. I can see why you're concerned."

Sarada looked up at me seriously. "Aunt Tami, you've never been intimidated a day in your life."

I snorted. "Take your shoes off and go join the flock."

The black-haired girl obeyed and darted off to to exchange shoulder-punches with the twins. "You set the oven for thirty minutes?" I called to Itachi.

"I thought you didn't remember the recipe," he called back.

I leaned against the door frame and watched the sun set for a minute before my brother- and sister-in-law wandered up the path. They were arm in arm. Sakura was smiling widely.

"Oh?" I questioned when they were within comfortable speaking distance.

"Long day at the hospital," Sakura explained. "You're restoring my faith in humanity."

I smirked and backed out of the doorway so they could take off their shoes. "Maybe you've come to the wrong house," I said. "This one's set to get blitzed by a certain Uzumaki genin tonight, and I'm not sure if that's before or after the obligatory food tantrum and the usual scuffles over seconds and thirds. Taiki hasn't wanted a pickle since this morning, so I have slight hope that he's done teething for a few days."

Sasuke treated me to one of his wry looks. "I shouldn't have given you permission to marry my brother," he said.

"You didn't even know I married him," I retorted.

"I've had a very long day," Sakura cut in sweetly, "and as much as I love you both, I'm hungry and I'd like to eat." She glanced at me. "I'll check on Taiki-chan's new tooth if you don't mind."

"Go right ahead. You'll have to steal him from Itachi."

She headed straight to the kitchen. Sasuke and I followed at a safe distance. I pursed my lips. "Has she told—"

"Yes, last week."

"Good, good." I pushed past Taiki's group of admirers to get to my mixer. "Itachi, can you give them the five minute warning? I just need to throw the icing together." The cake itself was still in the oven. Thank goodness Itachi had invented a cooling jutsu for times like these! Self-serving as it was. He liked his cake.

Itachi crooned one last reputation-shattering phrase of baby talk to Taiki and left to gather the various miscreants. They all knew the table was already set . . . and yet the twins and Sarada were already four minutes into the woods. Eh, Itachi would find them. They were probably testing how far away they could get.

Meanwhile, Sakura was bouncing Taiki and Sasuke was trying to resist Mikoto's charm.

Dinner was just as much of an affair as it usually was. Mikoto decided that she hated tomatoes (Sasuke's disappointment was palpable) until she caved and actually tried her spaghetti. Taiki shrieked a lot. Somehow, even though the children were all eating at different paces, they managed to finish at the exact same moment and bicker about who got to take seconds first (Sarada won).

Itachi, Sasuke, Sakura, and I kept a leisurely adult conversation going. It had been a while since we'd all talked with each other. Itachi and Sasuke hadn't had a minute to spare recently, it seemed, since they were conducting a private conversation of their own underneath the one that was safe for children's ears.

I iced the cake while the children exchanged the dirty dinner plates for smaller dessert ones. Sasuke actually smiled when his slice was placed in front of him. I just rolled my eyes.

Sakura did, too. "What would you do if Tami wasn't around?"

"Starve."

His wife elbowed him but smiled anyway. "I'm surprised you come home at night."

Itachi's eyes glinted possessively. "Don't worry, Sakura, Tami's cakes rarely last more than a few hours."

The uneaten remainder of the cake, sadly for both of the Uchiha men, went onto a countertop to wait for the inevitable nighttime raid. I felt the disturbance first. "Itachi—"

Itachi and Sanae looked my way, both drawn by the subtle note of alarm. Itachi undoubtedly started running through our protocols for unannounced chakra signatures.

"Oh," I said a second later. "It's just—"

The kitchen window shattered.

It was probably Boruto's most badly timed prank . . . ever, if the twins are to be believed. Which is pretty astonishing. The boy had finally found his maturity and had largely stopped his pranking hobby.

So here's the picture: Itachi is sitting at the table with a bite of cake enroute to his mouth. I'm also sitting at the table, although my hands are splayed between my children and the broken glass. My invisible chakra shield stopped all of the shards in plenty of time.

Sakura is in the yard holding Naruto's son Boruto by his collar.

Sasuke is crouched next to the counter, eyeing the smashed cake on the floor with a ghost of an expression I haven't seen since the days he tried to kill Itachi.

I dropped my shield first. The slight movement broke Sasuke's concentration.

Outside, Sakura let go of the blonde pre-teen. "Run fast," she suggested.

Boruto said, "Um, I didn't reali—"

Sasuke's Rinnegan activated.

Boruto booked it.

Taiki broke the resulting silence first with a piercing shriek of laughter. That set the other kids off, and the rest of the dessert time was a lot more lively. We sent the kids outside with a warning to keep an eye on the younger ones (not that I ever let them out of the Seikatsugan's sight) and we adults stayed inside to exchange significant glances.

I cracked first. It was funny. Terribly funny, and hey, I'd get Boruto to replace the window tomorrow.

"It could have been serious," Sakura said once she'd pulled her composure fully together.

I rolled my eyes. It could have been. But from the sound of it, Boruto had felt pretty guilty before Sasuke had scared him off. Boruto would never hurt his little "cousins" on purpose. He'd go for his peers the twins, but he'd never willingly harm the two small girls his genin team had babysat a time or two.

"The threat was negligible at best," Itachi said in support of me. "Tami had it well under control, and Boruto was hardly a threat."

"Yeah," I said. "Actually, I was really impressed with the kids. We've been going over emergency protocol, but I never expected that they'd actually stay quiet and let us deal with the threat."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Itachi, were you even aware there was a threat? You didn't even stop eating."

Itachi smirked. "I didn't want to alarm the children. And you're not on the best footing, accusing me about my awareness."

Sasuke flinched. "That was one time! She could have been an imposter." Was Sasuke ever going to live down the time he'd mistaken his own daughter for an enemy? Not in this family.

Itachi's amusement didn't fade. "Well, fortunately you were able to intimidate Boruto-kun with the Rinnegan tonight." It was another teasing jab. Sasuke had had the Rinnegan when he'd attacked Sarada. He insists that it wasn't activated.

I shook my head. "Sarada told me that Boruto-kun is training under you, Sasuke? Has that been going well?"

Sasuke considered. "He's impatient," he said. "He thinks he knows what he wants, but he's going about it the wrong way." Dark eyes turned to Itachi. "He should have come to you, brother. You're good at turning people from the wrong path."

Um, wow, Sasuke. Fine words about a man who only talked to you when both of you were at death's door.

"If Tami hadn't saved me, things would have been different," Itachi said simply. It was far from simple! Hmph.

Sakura read the atmosphere and looked at her husband. "The other dimension, dear."

The mood in the room dropped instantly. Even Itachi frowned. "Naruto-sama told me of your report the following morning," Itachi said. "The incident is troubling."

"We need to prepare," Sasuke said. "He was strong. We have to be ready as a family."

My eyes narrowed as I replayed through a mental transcript of everything Itachi had said to me since Sasuke had shown up unannounced a few nights ago. Itachi hadn't breathed a word. That in itself wasn't a problem. There were plenty of crisis situations that my husband dealt with regularly. So long as he was mentally healthy, I saw no reason to demand details from him.

Hearing about another dimension from Sakura, of all people?

I had a vested interest in alternate dimensions.

"It's our responsibility as Uchiha," Itachi said.

And he wonders why I used to think of him as suicidal.

"I'm pregnant," I said, "so you'd better repeat everything you know and give me an itemized list of how you intend to fix it."

Sasuke gave me a weird glance. "You're pregnant again?"

"I texted you, you idiot."

"Oh, I thought that was a typo . . . um, well, that means we can't use the Seikatsugan. Hn."

I rolled my eyes. "Just tell me the plan already. Or Itachi, you do it. You're the one who'll want me to stay in the village."

Itachi held up his hands defensively.

Sakura snickered.

I sighed and wondered why I put up with them all.

~Sakura was not attacking Boruto. She was saving him. Sasu-cake is real.

Putting out my feelers for fanart.

I absolutely love this chapter.

This is the official debut of Tami's kekkei genkai's name: the Seikatsugan. That name doesn't quite match up with the info given so far . . . but we'll get to the reasons for the name later. Seikatsugan means "life eye." As I understand it, Seikatsu refers to more than just the state of being alive - it's about how you shape your life. If anyone knowledgable wants to help me out with all of the connotations, I'd love to hear more about it!

We are officially in the Boruto timeline. Sasuke has just returned after his fight with a mysterious dimension traveller.

Anonymous replies: ren7720 (Accurate! Only the auto-translate feature didn't extend to writing, so that will take a bit of time), Guest (Aw, thanks for reading!)