These characters belong to Lucasfilms and Disney. I am just playing with the toys. The characters are exaggerated, and I do not believe they would behave in this fashion in canon. It is meant as satire and humor only.

Four stormtroopers gathered together in the hall. They had bonded in the barracks, and were known by their designations among the staff as FN-2199, FN-2000, FN-2003 and FN-2187. Among themselves they were Nines, Zeroes, Slip and Eight-Seven, though the later was usually just FN-2187 because Eight-Seven never really suited him. The four of them were being gathered yet again, along with the rest of the stormtroopers, officers and some of the personal for yet another historical film. The last , they called it The Empire Strikes Back, was very entertaining, in spite of it being a bit of a history lesson, and they had high hopes again for this one. The last one gave them a good idea of how horrible stormtroopers had been during the time of the Empire and the Galactic Civil War, and this film was supposed to have taken place just prior to the Clone Wars, so they didn't know what to expect. As they chatted in the hall, they were interupted by their commander, Captain Phasma, a menacing and guiding presence to them all. She gave them no choice, but to move towards the auditorium and take a seat, and await the base leader, General Hux.

General Hux walked to the podium, cleared his throat, motioned for Lieutenant Mitaka to come towards him, whispered something and Mitaka took his leave from the room. General Hux then maintained his composure, looked around the room with the authority he commanded and said "I have gathered you all here today to educate you yet again with the chance to watch some rare footage from the history of the galaxy. As many of you have already heard, this footage will take place sometime just before and leading up to the Clone Wars. It was taken from various buildings and cameras and the like and had been suppressed by the Emperor for many years. We were able to obtain it from the personal archives of one, Mas Amedda, who had worked with the Emperor closely. Supreme Leader Snoke has given the go ahead to release this footage for the entire First Order to view. I myself have not seen any of this, so it will be new to me as well. Since you all seemed to enjoy the last film so much, the one that took place during the Galactic Civil War, we thought it might be both informative and entertaining as well. I have brushed myself up on my history of the period, so I may give insight." Hux gives Ren a look. "There will also be a lot of footage of the Jedi Order as well. Though much of that has been suppressed historically, we have the rare opportunity to study how they worked and corrupted the government of that time. Perhap Ren might have something to add having been taught by the neo Jedi Luke Skywalker? There will be some information on the clone facility that was in use of the time, as well as the use of battle droids. Some of you may have seen a few of those in use here and there at various times. We don't know what the lowsome resistance will pull out of their sleeves in the future so pay attention. Any questions?"

"What side should we be supporting in this film?" Captain Phasma asked.

"Sides, sides, I would say the Emperor's side, though he is a Chancellor in this film. History tells us that in the end, he was working to bring down the Jedi who were the real villains in the war." General Hux answered. "Sides may be arbitrary as well, the Emperor and his ilk failed in many things, but did provide a stability we can learn from. It may appear the Jedi and the Republic are working together, but pay attention, perhaps they are not. Ah, Mitaka has returned. Since you made such a mess with the popcorn last time, but did clean it up, we decided to just give you popcorn and drinks prior to the film, and I can't stress this enough. IF YOU LEAVE THIS ROOM WITH ANY POPCORN OR SPILLS ON THE FLOOR, YOU WILL BE PUT ON SNOW REMOVAL DUTY WITHOUT ANY WEATHER GEAR! Is that understood? Good. Without further ado, we present the film."

The crowd gasps as ships appear in the sky, strange historic ships that look brand new. "Sir, what is on that young woman's head?" an officer notes in the back.

Everyone immediately gives him a "shhhhhhhhhh".

Kylo Ren sits up as he recognizes Artoo coming down off the ship. 'Not another home movie' he thinks to himself.

"Whoa! Explosions!" A bunch of stormtroopers in the back call out.

Captain Phasma calls back at them "There will be silence! In the future, that explosion you see may be the one to take you out. Pay attention!"

General Hux says "Brilliant. I must get a look a like to pose as me, for protection. I know I have a huge target on my own head." Kylo Ren rolls his eyes under his mask.

Kylo Ren thinks to himself. 'Artoo, but I don't recognize any of these people, maybe he just looks like Artoo' and relaxes a little 'Senator Amidala? Where have I heard that before?'.

"Oh the Emperor. And look! It's that troll from the other movie, only he isn't in a swamp! The blue thing with the horns? That's Mas Amedda who we have to thank for saving this footage." General Hux notes and tells the group.

"Does anyone know who these senators are? Which ones are Jedi?" Captain Phasma asks.

Kylo Ren stays quiet when he recognizes Bail Organa, his mother's adopted father. His New Republic childhood education at work. His image was drilled into his head as a youngling.

"Is the younger one the older one's slave? He called him 'master'" Mitaka asks

"He's a Jedi. They call their teachers that." Kylo Ren says with a grumble. "I feel sorry for the man's 'master', his apprentice seems a bit daft."

"Just what kind of creature is that thing? And can anyone understand him?" General Hux says when he hears Jar Jar Binks greet the Jedi. "Kenobi? Oh, the ghost with the troll from the last movie."

"Guess we know what happens to him then, Sir?" Captain Phasma says with a laugh.

"Well, his apprentice is a bit of a.." Kylo Ren starts.

"Dork? Yes, no wonder the Jedi had to be wiped out, with the likes of them in their midst." Hux replied. "Very observant, Ren."

Then Kylo Ren hear's it. 'Tatooine? Tatooine? Oh no, please no please? It can't be him.'

"Well, they are just sitting. I hope there isn't a lot of sitting around in this movie." Hux observes.

'Oh kriff. He said Anakin. It has to be... It can't be.' Kylo Ren says outloud "Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

"Calm down, Ren. What's wrong? You aren't going to throw up again are you? What is it with you and holos and getting excited? Do you need a medic?" Hux says in an almost mocking way.

"Hold on, this man says he hasn't seen this woman in 10 years and thought about her everyday? He looks like a kid? What was he? Nine maybe? Who falls in love at nine? Who is this person?" Captain Phasma says out loud very puzzled and a bit confused.

"I don't know Phasma. Perhaps it was a different time, or this man was a bit mentally inept. Perhaps he doesn't live through the film." General Hux said.

Kylo Ren just hopes it's not Grandfather. 'Oh kriff, it really is Artoo. I can't ever seem to get away from this family.'

"Ewwwwww, bugs!" some officers cried in the back.

"These men fight like they are married." Lieutenant Mitaka noted.

"Shhhhhhh That guy just jumped out the window!" the stormtroopers in the back chorused.

"Coruscant in it's full glory. What the New Republic did to it, such a slum. Maybe we should destroy it first." Hux stated.

"It was a slum then as well, if you went down far enough. What did your First Order history books say, Hux? There were efforts to improve living conditions in Coruscant during the New Republic." Kylo Ren states with a smugness to get under Hux's skin.

"You aren't going on again about your New Republic propaganda again are you, Ren. I assure you that the First Order knew the full truth about your New Republic and it's evil and how it let it's systems down. Sometimes I wonder if you are really on our side." Hux said with a sneer.

"I think we need to improve the education that the First Order is teaching it's younglings is all." Ren replied.

"I don't know what kind of family you came from, Ren, but my father was in charge of education for our First Order and I had the benefit of that. I tell you now that you are mistaken on a great many things, we were building a world outside the New Republic and wherever you came from, you had no idea. Not your teachers, not your schools, not your lowsome Jedi teacher Skywalker! How is it that you are even here with us at all?" Hux replied.

"I suggest you take this up with Supreme Leader, Hux. You know what I am capable of. I suggest you don't..."

"Sirs, if you don't mind, this chase is getting kind of exciting, if you please, sit down." Captain Phasma asked.

Hux and Ren quietly returned to their seat, both extremely irritated with the other.

"Maybe that apprentice isn't so dumb, he just went to find a speeder, instead of flying on whatever object just happened to be floating around." Hux stated.

"Sir, I still think he is kind of dumb." Phasma noted.

"It's disgraceful how his master degrades his apprentice." Kylo Ren notes.

"Oh, suddenly, we are on the side of the apprentice is it, Ren?" Hux asks.

"He does seem to be an excellent pilot. Pilots in the back, take note." Hux looked back at the pilots sitting a few rows back.

"But sir, he's only on a speeder?" a pilot responds.

"Oh no, it's that "Use the Force" nonsense." a stormtrooper in the back says outloud.

Kylo Ren gets up, looks around. "Who said that? Who said that? I will not have anyone disrespect the Force!"

FN-2000 and FN-2199 point to a trooper sitting behind them. Kylo Ren lifts him up from his seat, flies him up front, brings him up to his face, and says, "What about that Force nonsense?"

"Uh uh, I'm sorry, Sir. I should have never doubted." the stormtrooper said meekly.

"Return him to his seat, Ren" Hux said with a sigh.

Kylo Ren looks at him and says, "Thank You." and puts him down.

The trooper asks, "May I go to the bathroom, Sir"

Hux looks at him, gives a disgusted look and says "Oh, alright. Hurry back." and shakes his head.

Ren hear's 'Why do I get the feeling you're going to be the death of me.' in the film. He let's out a laugh. "Oh enjoying this now, Ren?" Hux says.

"It's just that I think he really might be the death of him, Hux." Kylo Ren replies and for that moment, remembers that Vader kills Kenobi and feels a bit better that that guy might be Grandfather after all.

"Sir, what are death sticks?" Captain Phasma asks?

Hux looks on his datapad, he doesn't know. "Uh, it's some type of drug. It must be out of use now."

Kylo Ren shakes his head and laughs to himself. If they only knew what goes on in the galaxy beyond their own knowledge. "Ask one of those criminal organizations who fund the First Order. They may know." he answers. Hux, Phasma and other officers give him a strange look.

"Ah, it looks like our esteemed Emperor is fond of this young Jedi. Maybe there is more to him than what it seems." Hux says.

"I still say he is a bit of a dork, Sir." Captain Phasma replies.

"Well, he did say he thought he would turn out better than that little green troll." Hux said with a sneer.

"Yes, let us hope so." Kylo Ren says, with a bit of worry.

"Still, he is a Jedi, and we know they must not be trusted." Hux says giving Ren a look. "Can we get a floating chair like that? I want one." Hux says.

"Do you think you can be taken seriously in one, Sir? I mean, the 'troll' as you call him is using one." Phasma said.

"Perhaps not, though I think my troops all take me seriously at all times, isn't that right. I SAID ISN'T THAT RIGHT?" Hux says.

The crowd mumbles an affirmative.

"Wait, wait. Hold on here." Ren laughs. "She's leaving that foolish Gungan in charge?" Laughs and laughs and it sounds even more funny behind his mask.

"Control yourself, Ren" Hux exclaims.

"Obi-Wan, Not Fair. YEAH!" Ren gets out of his chair and tightens his fist.

"Ren!" Hux says as he gets up and gives him a look, and he sits back down.

Ren picks up a bucket of popcorn with the Force and pours it on Hux's head.

"Oh, we are doing this again. Well, just make sure you clean it up after the movie." Hux looks towards a lower officer. "You there, get me some more popcorn."

"Yes, Sir." The officer says and gets up in a hurried, but worried stride.

"Sir, what is it with this Anakin fellow. He seems a bit of a pervert." Captain Phasma says.

"Yes, they would have been wise to have just let someone else guard that young woman. He obviously has illicit things on his mind. Another way the Jedi has shown it's failure." Hux replies.

"She doesn't seem to like it either. I imagine sexual harassment on a Senator has to have been a rule at that time. Even back then." Captain Phasma states. "I would never put up with that. The way he says 'milady' it's unseemly."

Hux replies "Quite"

Kylo Ren thinks to himself 'Great Pop's was perv and so was Grandfather, if that was Grandfather, still hoping it's not. That, however, really is Artoo. No doubt about it now.'

"How did they get around so easily in those ships! The ships we have today are far superior!" A flight officer in the back remarks.

"Indeed" states Hux.

"Finally, we are getting to the Clones!" Kylo Ren says loudly outloud.

"Jawa juice? Is that just a drink?" FN-2199 whispers.

"Isn't he going to order food? I would love some real food." FN-2000 says.

"When have you had real food?" FN-2187 whispers to him.

"Love? Love? This guy smiles too much." Hux states.

"And he has bad pickup lines. This woman is so naive, I bet it works. Look at her. Poor thing." Captain Phasma says.

"Are you being sympathetic, Phasma?" Hux asks.

"Oh not at all, Sir. Just we should watch from such behavior from some of our troops." Phasma says.

"Well, we do try to encourage children among our ranks, and this behavior seems to begat them." Hux states.

"Yes, Sir, but however, Sir, I would hope our young ladies and gentlemen are much more intelligent to the lines given them to place them in positions they may or may not be ready for, and are not manipulated into something, well, stupid, with all due respect, Sir." Captain Phasma stated.

Kylo Ren then thought to himself. 'Oh Force, this begat General Organa and Skywalker'. Is that you Grandmother?

"Oh look, the troll is teaching younglings. And he is shorter than they are. How amusing." Hux states.

"When do we get to the war!" A chorus in the back say with a yawn.

"I agree, so far, this has been a lot of sitting around, except for the odd, speeder chase." Captain Phasma stated.

"Who suggested this movie!" Kylo Ren asked.

"Supreme Leader ordered we watch it, Ren. Are you questioning Supreme Leader?" Hux said.

"Are you sure?" Kylo Ren asked.

"Yes, now, watch." Hux demanded.

"They can't even find a planet!" Captain Phasma says.

"You know as well as I, that some planets are left off maps for good purpose, Phasma." Hux states.

"Even the troll finds it amusing though, Sir." Phasma says.

"See, that youngling even knew what happened, and this wise liar Obi-Wan Kenobi could not." Kylo Ren said with a bit of anger. 'Oh Obi-Wan, so much damage you have done.' he thought to himself. 'Skywalker never saw it, but I did'.

"Oh what a beautiful planet! Naboo, Sir? Does it still exist? Do you think we could take it for the First Order?" Captain Phasma asks.

"Oh Phasma, you know we will have them all. You like this one better than Bespin from the last film?" Hux asks.

"Maybe, let's see if we see more of it." Phasma states. "And apparently, she used to be it's queen? And in this film, the Senator? Must look up more on this person."

"A lot of information on her was erased from the archives for some specific, though I am sure important reason, Phasma. I am sure we can find something though. After the movie, just watch and take notes." Hux says.

"Yes, Sir." Says Phasma.

Kylo Ren guesses perhaps Vader had them erased, and with good reason. Vader always so very wise. Well maybe not when he was this young.

"That looks like that troublesome astromech from that other film. The one that Skywalker had. I am sure it's just a coincidence." Hux said.

"Kamino, the clone facility. Take note Hux, we may need to use clones in the future. Perhaps this is why Supreme Leader wanted us to see this?" Kylo Ren stated.

"Are you questioning our methods, Ren? Our troops are quite amiable as they are, trained from birth. I suggest you drop that line of thinking, Ren. I am growing quite tired of it." Hux said with a bit of a growl.

"Well, perhaps we will have to see then, Hux." Kylo Ren said back to him angrily.

Hux just gave him a look.

"Kenobi looks completely clueless. He has no idea what they are telling him. What a fool." Kylo Ren stated.

"I have to agree with you here, Ren." Hux stated.

"Please say we are getting towards a war here, I know the Clone Wars happened, but so far, I am not impressed." Phasma stated.

"Kriff, what is this about sand? He hates sand? What the hell? Why is this important? SAND! But but..." Kylo Ren started to get out of his seat.

"Ren, sit down, calm yourself. What has gotten into you?" Hux said.

"This place is very beautiful." Mitaka stated. Kylo Ren shoved his arm.

"Ow Sir, why am I always seated next to you?" Mitaka stated. Kylo Ren knocked him in the elbow again. Mitaka just sat as far as he could on the other side of the seat.

"Kiss her! Come on kiss her! You know he wants to, he's all you know!" someone shouted in the back.

"YEAH!" A chorus shouts in the back.

Hux stands up, turns around "Calm yourselves! Quiet! Honestly!"

Quietly someone says "They are really going to town there, I think his tongue might even come out the other side."

"Seriously? It looks forced." Another one says quietly.

"Well, it looks like someone has gotten intelligence here." Phasma says, as the Senator catches her mistake and moves away from the Jedi.

"What is in all those bottles, they look like, like babies!" an officer says in surprise.

Another one says. "Didn't you pay attention? It's a cloning facility."

"Oh" the first officer says with a slight embarrassment. "Those people all look the same!"

"They are clones? How did you get this far in the First Order?" the second officer exclaims.

"My father and mother are officers as well." The dimwitted officer says.

"Well, that explains a lot." the second officer says. "Say, how about a game later."

"Shhhhhhhhh" Captain Phasma says from the front row.

The two officers clam up.

"Jango Fett, Fett, Fett, wasn't Fett the name of that bounty hunter in the last movie?" Hux said.

"Boba Fett." Kylo Ren stated.

"Ah yes, I wonder if they are related. It could just be a common name." Hux said. "Look at that beautiful army of stormtroopers!"

The audience marveled.

"Oh back to Naboo, this Jedi person, seems to be on the right track to politics. People don't know what they want, it is so much better to have someone wise tell them what to do. Which is why we have our Supreme Leader trying to make it right for us all. Don't you agree all?" Hux asks.

A chorus of yes! Yes! Yes! Is heard through out the room.

Kylo Ren thinks that the Senator reminds him of Leia Organa in her political views maybe something else, too. Oh no. It is Grandmother..

"Sir, are you ok." Captain Phasma asks Hux.

"This is just a little nauseating is all, Phasma. If you will excuse me a moment." Hux stepped outside.

"Awww young love." Someone says in back.

Hux returns, sits down.

"Oh, Boba is his son. What a small galaxy, I guess he was that bounty hunter from the last movie we saw. Wonder if he is still around." Hux says.

"He's not." Kylo Ren says.

"How do you know?" Hux asks.

"I just do." Kylo Ren said.

"What? Your special mind powers tell you?" Hux says.

"Maybe." Kylo Ren says and just leans back. Force it was one of those stories he heard one too many times as a child.

"That kid has the look of 'Let me kill him for you Daddy'" says an officer in the back, and he laughs.

It makes Hux smile, just a little, but hopefully not enough to show.

"What an abuse of the use of the Force!" Kylo Ren states.

"How does he do that? I mean, the fruit is just floating around, and she's laughing." Phasma says.

"Nauseating." Hux states. He can't believe Supreme Leader suggest they watch this.

'Grandfather, why do you have to be such a pervert' Kylo Ren thinks to himself.

"I'm getting uncomfortable." Kylo Ren says.

"Oh grow up, Ren!" Hux shouts as he tries to hold back his own nausea.

One of the female officers in the back swoons a bit and sighs loudly. "I wonder if he is still alive?" She asks.

"All the Jedi were justifiably wiped out by the Empire. I am sure he went with them." Hux stated.

Kylo Ren whispers "Not all"

"What was that Ren?" Hux said. "Mitaka, what did he say?"

Meekly, Mitaka says "Not all"

"Oh, you mean your teacher, Skywalker? Or that ghost of his, and that little green troll. Oh, I will give you that. I guess you are right there, for once. I almost forgot about that little green troll. Surely, this man was gone though. I can assure you of that!" Hux said.

Ren smiled behind his mask. 'Hux you fool' he said to himself.

"This man is too much, Sir. He's in agony and is haunted?" Captain Phasma said.

"Excuse me." Hux leaves the room.

"At least she has some brains, it seems." Phasma says. "Someone go check on Hux." She points to Mitaka. "You go!"

Mitaka steps out with Hux. A few moments later, Hux comes in, wiping his mouth. Mitaka goes up to a junior officers and sends him out to clean up. Hux apparently has vomited outside the door.

"Ah, the green troll again. Obi-Wan doesn't seem to know what is going on. None of them know what's going on. No wonder they were defeated." Hux said still wiping his mouth.

"What's wrong with him, Sir." Captain Phasma says to Hux. He just shakes his head.

"Visions, nightmares." Kylo Ren says. He knows them well.

Hux braces himself for another Senator Amidala/Jedi Anakin exchange.

Kylo Ren thinks to himself that maybe his own parents bickering back and forth style of affection really wasn't that bad. He actually felt a little guilty, seeing Anakin in pain about his visions.

"Get him Jango!" Yells a stormtrooper in the back.

"Drag that Jedi!" Yells another

"I will have to give it to this Kenobi, he is pretty brilliant, Sir." Captain Phasma says.

"Who's side are you on, Phasma?" Hux states.

"That boy must have inherited the ship. I swear it's the same one from the last movie." Hux states.

"Oh, what is this awful planet?" Phasma states.

"Tatooine" Kylo Ren says.

"Ah, horrible place. Thank you, Sir." Phasma replies.

"Wait? Did he say 'Skywalker'" asked Hux

Silence.

"Wait, this Anakin, Anakin Skywalker? Hmm. That was Darth Vader, correct? Now, this is making some sense. I would think that Darth Vader was a bit different, I mean, well. He seems so, well... What do you think, Ren? Aren't you our Vader expert? Didn't you call this Anakin 'daft' earlier in the film?" Hux asks.

Kylo Ren just sits there and pretends he doesn't know what he is asking.

"Maybe that is how Skywalker, well, the son, anyway, got the droid. I assume that is the same droid. Well, look at that, they kept the droid in the family. Amazing. Well. As far as these things go anyway." Hux stated. "And now, another asteroid field. Pilots pay attention. Let's see if this Kenobi and Fett are as skilled as that fellow in the last movie. Maybe this movie will turn out interesting and informative after all."

Stormtroopers in the back start feeling excitement for the first time, the pilots jump in their seats and Hux orders more popcorn.

Kylo Ren just sinks into his seat, and grumbles. Kriffing Tatooine. This is going to be another long movie.

To Be Continued in Part 2...