Author Note: Is it strange to redo a story that you only started less than two weeks ago? I really loved writing the story and did enjoy its dark tone, but I felt that I had rushed through instead of pacing myself and thinking of each chapter individually. Well, because half of writing is editing and rewriting I'm going to try it again.

I hope there are people out there who do like this story and I want to thank you for giving either this story a first, or a second, chance.

My Dear Kuon

Chapter One – Love

The past eight years had been a blur for Re-Kuon. Not only had his façade as Ren Tsuruga come to an end – which had also blossomed into a new life for the Hizuris – but he had everything he had been scared that he wouldn't be able to have. He had been married to his wife for nearly six years now, they had a three year old and a one year old together, they both were in acting and owned three properties: one in Shinjuku, one in Kyoto, and one in Los Angeles. It seemed like a very good setup.

It seemed like a very good set up. They spent most of their time in the large and elegant four-bedroom apartment in Tokyo and then used the traditional house in Kyoto and the beach front location in America for vacation homes. Maybe it was a little extravagant, but being top actors in their field really helped them pay for those homes.

At least, it seemed like a good set up until a year ago.

That was when it had all come crashing down. Kyoko had been doing fine and her fans loved her so much that sometimes Kuon would be overly protective of her. She had been proving she could act, and act amazingly, and Shou Fuwa had been out of her mind completely. That was before the couple got the test results, only four months after Kaguya was born.

Kuon had insisted that she had been checked over by a doctor. He knew it was hypercritical but for Kyoko to be breast feeding their daughter it was important that both of them were healthy. She had assured him that she knew exactly what she was doing. She hadn't. They hadn't.

It seemed to be alright in the beginning. For a few months after the diagnosis, Kyoko had actually managed to convince him that she was fine and could handle the workload she had as she usually did. She was sick of being pregnant and had only returned to the drama a couple of months ago. Now that her maternity leave was over it was time to do the thing that she enjoyed most, well the third thing.

Kuon inhaled deeply as he waited in the doctors office, he felt people watching him but he didn't care anymore. They were used to him being here, the media had already given up on the current story and would only report if there was a dramatic shift. Neither of the beloved couple were ready for this dramatic shift.

Kuon stood as he saw Kyoko wheeling herself out and immediately went over to her.

"Did it go okay?" he asked, his face showing the weariness of someone whose treasured wife had been ill for too long and his eyes showed a broken kind of hope as if this was going to be the time when she told him that it went okay. He wanted to be in there with her but she had already made him promise to wait outside.

"Did you pace today?" she asked him with a weak smile, trying to sidestep the question.

Kuon looked down, "a little bit," he admitted, "but please tell me what's going on, princess," he said as he cupped her cheek and kissed her lips, drawing away with his sad and terrified expression.

"You should practice your gentleman's smile again," she commented before seeing him break a little more internally. "They said…can we talk about this at home?" she asked looking around nervously.

Kuon nodded solemnly.

It had to be something bad if they couldn't talk about it here, but Kuon wasn't prepared with how bad it was. "I'll sign us out and go get the car," he said softly as he gently wrapped his arms around her and then drew back. "I love you."

Kyoko grinned, "I love you too, almost enough to forgive how little like Ren you are now."

Kuon opened his mouth to speak, but just decided to nod. He didn't want to argue that he was the same person, he knew how much work he had had to put in to acting over these past few months. He knew how his hair was a mess, how thin his own body was, the sense of dread and fright that made him look uncool and discomposed.

Kuon turned towards the counter before looking at the love of his life, "Please tell me that it wasn't him you fell in love with," he said, his voice catching in his throat. He didn't want to admit it to himself but with the disappearance of Ren he was afraid that Kuon wasn't good enough.

Kyoko reached out for his hand and gently ran her thumb over the back. "I apologize for that," she smiled softly, "You might not be the Ren the public knows, but you're the same man I fall in love with every day and the first man who I properly love. All of you, that is the man that I want. The only one."

The blond felt his body relax slightly, "I'll be right back," he told her before going to the desk.

Watching him be so uncertain and continue to fall apart, Kyoko felt guilty about the man she had married. Before she had become worse, her body like a skeleton, her hair slightly thicker, her face not as pale, her temperature warm and carrying all her energy, he had been a superstar. She could always see that his fairy wings were strong and beautiful, but now…he was carrying around slumped wings that were losing feathers every day. He wasn't as strong as he used to be despite how much he tried. She had done that to him.

She forced a smile onto her face as he came back to her, "Do you have everything?" he asked her as he picked up his own bag. "All the medicine, papers, your bag?" he asked as she nodded. He smiled and kissed the top of her head. "I bought you something else today," he said hoping to get her proper smile again. Every time she went to the doctors he would bring her a gift. Maybe he was spoiling her too often, but he couldn't help it. He wanted his wife to be happy for as long as she was alive.

"Every time," she laughed, "You know that all I'm really looking for is you, you being here and loving me. I don't need anything else."

"Can you please just open it?" Kuon asked weakly as he slipped the box into her hand. He saw Kyoko feel the paper and then open it. Inside was a figure of Cinderella's horse drawn carriage with horses included. "If you open up the carriage," he said seeing her grin. Inside was a necklace with a high quality gold star. On the star in pink read the word 'Kyoko'.

Kyoko felt tears fall down her cheeks as she reached for him. "You never run out of ideas, do you?" she asked as he grinned, his happiness coming from her excitement and joy over the present. "How did I get so lucky to find you, Corn?"

"How did I get so lucky to have you become my wife?" he asked as he helped her put the necklace on.

As Kuon wheeled Kyoko out of the hospital, the figure now secure in the box inside Kuon's bag, he helped her down the ramp and then picked her up in his arms in a princess style. Gently he helped her sit down in the passenger seat whilst he put the wheelchair in the back of the car. Nothing was wrong with her legs, at least in terms of nerve damage, but she had become too weak to stand and walk around.

Continuously Kuon tried to persuade her to let him stop acting but continuously she had argued against it. The only thing she had said – kept saying – that made him still stand in the spotlight was that she wouldn't ever be able to forgive him or forgive herself if he stopped even for a moment.

Apparently Kuon was to live up to the standards set by a twenty-year old Tsuruga, Ren instead of what he wanted to do now at twenty-nine.

As he started the car, he turned to her, "You're not going to tell me until we get home, are you?" he asked before taking her hand and holding it gently. "I can handle it."

"Watch the road," Kyoko replied, "I don't want you to get into an accident."

"You know that I'm a great driver," he argued back stubbornly, "We've had so many conversations in this car. I've always made sure that we're okay even when we gave each other the silent treatment. I want to know now what's wrong with my wife."

Kyoko stared down, "I'll be able to show you the papers at home," she argued with her own stubbornness.

Kuon turned to her as they stopped at the light, "I'll promise to look them over when we get home. Could you please just…tell me what the doctor said?"

Kyoko looked down, "You'll get angry," she said nervously.

Kuon took a deep breath in as he watched the road, "There is absolutely no chance that I'll get angry at you," he argued. "I would not get angry at my wife whilst she's ill. Don't start telling me that you're still blaming yourself for getting sick. Please, Kyoko, if you care" he turned the car getting into a longer line of traffic, "about me at all, tell me."

Kyoko hung her head and spoke in a very sad voice, "They said I'm out of chances."

She froze as she saw the horrified expression on his face as he looked at her for a brief moment before going back to driving. She felt her heart break as her mind memorized that expression.

"Did you just…" he said as he continued to drive them safely, "How long do they…"

"They think maybe only a few more months," she said as his body turned rigid. He held to the wheel tightly. She bowed her head and then her body, "I am so so sorry, Kuon."

Kuon looked ahead as he tried to calm down from the terror that filled his entire body, "Don't apologize. I should be the one apologizing, I didn't keep you safe. I am so sorry, princess" he said as she saw the tears in his eyes. Kuon was always so skilled at holding back his emotions so seeing him in such a vulnerable state scared her. She looked down, trying her best not to see him so weak.

"Now," Kuon said as Kyoko dared to look up at the eyes filled with tears, "can I take a break from acting?"

Kyoko nodded. "Of course," she squeaked. "Maybe it would have been better to not have -"

"No," Kuon replied as he moved onto the road their apartment building was on, "it's better that you told me. I'll try my best to make these remaining months the best you've ever had. Did you want to go down to Kyoto?" he asked trying to remain strong for her.

Kyoko nodded, "only for a week or so," she said. "I want to stay here in Tokyo with everyone."

Kuon nodded, "anything you want," he said. "I love you, so much," he said as he went into the parking lot, "You're the love of my life," he said as he finally felt relief getting to the correct spot.

"You'll find someone el-" Kyoko argued as Kuon looked at her feeling betrayed.

"Never," he replied.