Fall-Out & Vodka

Twelve days had passed since the WASP had been implemented on Tracy Island and all had returned to relative normality for the Tracy brothers. Quieter, but normal day to day life had returned the shock of their adopted sister being related to the greatest criminal mastermind the world had known melted into insignificance. In an instant they had insisted there had been nothing to forgive once they had realised that their father had been aware of her secret and encouraged her to keep the details of her real family from them.

Back to normal for them but in the each of the following day's since his arrest Kayo felt its fall-out more and more, noticing the little differences in her brother's behaviour towards her. Brooding as she remembered each of their reactions when her uncle spilled her secret and their comments and actions in the aftermath. The more days that passed the more distance she put between them, running her usual escape didn't ease her pain, 5k runs turned into 10k then 15k. Then day after day she had taken Shadow out further and further from the Island, punishing the bird and herself to see what they were both capable of, the thrill of it letting her know she was alive and that she was in control of life itself.

This morning she has completed 20k before most of the household had even risen each step pulling her deeper into dark mood where she was certain her services for International Rescue would no longer be required. The run should have been paced it should have been a solitary challenge not against the clock, not fighting against herself, the sprint should have arrived in the last kilometre but this time the sprint arose from the 5k mark pushing everything, trying to cleanse her system from the impurities it held. Her mind should have been clear and focused washed clean by toil and the rush of endorphins, her blood should have been purified from the evil she was sure was tainting her very being. Her inner darkness was now taking control permitting her natural self-destruct mechanism to surface, allowing an emotional distance to form between her and the family, protecting her from the hurt she was sure to come.

Her default action for any emotional situation had always been to run or hide in work, with no work and no purpose it left only one option open to her. After collapsing on the steps to the house she cried for the first time in years, tears wear not a natural phenomenon, even when a child when most would give in she fought against it, but now she felt sure the safety net of the Tracy family was to be pulled from under her they came freely. She sought her one solace, Shadow, the only place she now felt safe, the familiar solitary surroundings of her bird. Her very own Thunderbird, their gift to her and the most special before Mateo moment in her life, the only thing to her linking her to the family that she was now sure as her black mood descended regretted the very moment she had entered their life…

By the time she came round enough just to be enjoying the flight without the need to perform the manoeuvres that would make most test pilots pale she had reached the South China Sea. What had originally started out as a perimeter check had turned into escape as her brain turned over the differences in her life before Mateo and after Mateo …..

"Kayo."

"John."

"We seem to have a ridiculously over-zealous perimeter check going on today, you OK."

"Yes John, just loving my bird."

"You coming back, you have been out for hours."

"Thinking of taking some leave is that a problem?"

"Not a problem, just unexpected…. Kayo where you going, you haven't exactly got a pocket book of options"

"Hadn't thought it through, I'm a big girl now I can look after myself, you don't need to worry about me. COMMS OFF"

Shit …. Well Kayo, just what are your options? Speaking to John had calmed the incessant self- destructive nature of her thoughts, the not very meaningful conversation had brought her back from the edge "you OK" it was the first time any one of them had bothered to ask, it did not make her want to turn back but did result in her seeking some sort of familiarity.

"Penelope"

"Kayo what an unexpected and wonderful surprise"

"You don't mean that… you don't do just dropping by."

"Kayo you are always welcome, there is nothing on the social calendar and would love your company for a few days."

"Surprise? A few days ….. I don't think so. You have been speaking to John."

"He was monitoring your journey he thought you may drop by."

"Hhmpph"

"Come on in, I would prefer not to hold a conversation on the threshold. Go freshen up and I'll pop the cork on some bubbles."

"I don't do bubbles."

"Kayo take a bath have a different sort of bubbles in there, you'll feel better and you smell like Gordon after a two weeks in Four"

As Kayo trudged off like a petulant child up the central staircase of the Manor towards the bathroom.

Penelope was worried her last comment hadn't raised an eyebrow or even a smart ass comeback, Kayo had the look in her eyes of someone who was on the verge of a meltdown; she could bring her back but was starting to see that a few days may not be enough to complete the mission.

Kayo had been soaking for two hours, topping up with hot water just to try to avoid the inevitable questioning of Penelope, if she strung it out for much longer she was hopeful of getting a stay of execution until the morning. Topping up again she studied the thick welts that had appeared on her hands her punishment for trying to avoid contact from another human being, closing her eyes she allowed her whole body to immerse in the water breathing out the last air and then opening her eyes to watch the bubbles of escaping air burst on top of the water once the last bubble burst she immediately reached the surface and made a gasp for air. The knock at the door prevented her from seeking the thrill of the last air escaping again.

"Parkmoor. Kayo tomorrow we are going to Parkmoor. It's not the sightseeing visit that I would usually recommend to a guest but you need to get something out of your system."

Kayo could not respond but it did make her drain the water grab the towel and seek the company of Penelope.

She found her on the terrace, champagne in hand, nibbles on tap watching swallows on the wing darting about the sky in one of nature's greatest aerial displays.

"They're beautiful Penny."

"All the more so as you have to value them when they are here, summer visitors you know, you should never fail to stop and appreciate the beauty of the swallows, come September you will miss them terribly. It's like the song of the blackbird, cherish it in February you will long for it by August."

"I get the feeling you are trying to tell me something."

"I don't need to tell you anything Kayo, you have the ability to find things out for yourself. One glass and a good night's sleep, we'll exorcise your demons tomorrow."

The visit to Parkmoor had been brief she had begged Penelope to speak with him to try to get the edge on what was coming naively thinking that the great agent would find a method to make the truth come out. Penelope had done what was asked of her by her friend but knew if the interrogators from the GDF had not managed to gain any intel she would not be successful.

"Ahh Lady Creighton Ward and if I'm not mistaken that's my niece is skulking in the shadows."

"Not for much longer, we are a little intrigued by your threat but I think the victory is ours, look at her, she is no longer yours to taunt."

"We shall see."

After a brief war of words and nothing gained Penelope left him to his solitary confinement "I think you will find that the job is done, I hope your stay is to your satisfaction. Goodbye."

Kayo had not wanted to speak to her uncle, just to watch him to know where he was and where he would stay was enough. Taking the time to study him to see him for what he really was, he was not her family she was nothing like him, their eyes may betray a familiarity but Kayo realised that this small detail did not make her any part of him.

The journey back to the Manor was in silence but the comfortable kind, each looking out of their own window of FAB1 taking in the beauty of the English countryside as they made their way back to Oxfordshire. They turned into the long imposing driveway of the manor and Penelope thought of how to activate phase two of the operation.

"Parker, I believe there is a card game on tonight at The Crown."

"Yes M'Lady."

"Hustle them Parker, I will not require you home too early this evening."

"Yes M'lady."

"Shall we take afternoon tea on the terrace Kayo?"

"I'm not sure what that consists of Penny, how about we do this evening my style."

Kayo walked past the drinks cabinet in the hallway, she didn't usually like to take a drink at any time of day but as she wasn't on duty and experiencing her first of leave of any sort for months she could not resist the enticing bottle of Iordanov Vodka decorated in Swarovski crystals. She grabbed the bottle and two shot glasses and made her way to join Penelope on the terrace.

"Ahh we are having one of those evenings, I think it may well be a good job I've saved Parker from this."

Kayo poured two shots and drained hers in the manner it was meant be drunk while Penelope took a sip and settled back in the chair to enjoy the late afternoon sun. Kayo poured another before she settled and relaxed a little enjoying the sound of the birds. She closed her eyes to listen to their song and didn't think she would ever hear anything as beautiful as the song of the plain looking blackbird as long as she lived. While her eyes were closed Penelope topped her glass up once more just biding her time waiting for Kayo to feel the release that the alcohol would give and maybe she could get to the truth of the issue. Kayo heard the sound of the vodka pouring into her glass and instinctively reached out her hand and drained it once more. Glass three, Penelope was counting and was sure she would soon see what on earth had kicked Kayo off into the mood she had found her in when she had first arrived.

"So tell me Kayo what have those insensitive Tracy brothers done now?"

"Sorry."

"This is not about your uncle whatever you think, talk to me."

"Top me up."

"Then talk to me."

Kayo drained the glass and knew there were things inside of her she had to get out but speaking about them to their friend felt like a betrayal to them and they seemed small and insignificant now she had to find the words.

"One at a time then… What could Virgil possibly have done to make you not able to confide in him?"

Kayo spilled her frustration, Virgil had shocked her most, kind, forgiving, empathetic Virgil had forgiven her because "if dad wanted this a secret, well it's good enough for me." Not "I've never had any reason not to trust you Kayo, or you've never let us down Kayo or you're our family, it's not blood Kayo it's trust and love."

The drink was kicking in, Penelope sensed that the Tracy boys had given her a little too much space she doubted that Virgil had enveloped her in one of his infamous bear hugs, probably because Kayo didn't do hugs but everyone has a time in their life when a little of what they don't want is exactly what they need.

"Gordon? Alan? Surely those two have acted like the same brothers they always were"

"The same old Gordon and Alan really, you know them, nothing changes …. I'm the niece of a notorious criminal mastermind. Funny don't you think?"

Penelope filled her glass once more still sipping her first drink and making a mental note to give Gordon a piece of her mind, he would have taken the lead on this and while his brothers may have taken his jibes he had forgotten one important thing, Kayo was a woman and sometimes women just need you to be serious. Kayo drained her glass and Penelope thought it prudent to order a little supper to soak up the excess, Kayo was not noted for holding her drink.

"John and Scott how have they been treating you?"

"John hasn't trusted me since I dumped comms on him when trying to get the Alsterene from my uncle."

"I doubt that."

"He has not contacted me in the middle of the night while I'm up doing security checks for weeks, I loved it when he asked me to look at a constellation he thought I would find particularly interesting or he asked me to stop for a moment to count meteors during a shower. It was our thing maybe only once a week but it's the only non-work related contact we had."

Penelope was starting to see how things had spiralled out of control, these boys were on a roll and if only one had gone off radar then maybe the fall-out wouldn't have been so bad. She would be speaking to them later, it was time they treated Kayo like a sister and not a brother, this women did not need space in her hour of need she needed comfort and familiarity. She could see now what had brought her here even if Kayo didn't see it for herself.

"And Scott surely he has been his usual self?"

"Hit me."

"I'm sorry?"

"Another drink if you don't mind."

Penelope topped up both glasses, watching Kayo avoid the subject with interest, there was something different here. This was the issue not to be forced she watched Kayo drain her glass and then topped her up again. Her expression had changed into something she wasn't expecting but she waited not wanting to prompt her.

"Fucking Scott, he couldn't make his feelings plainer if he was chewing me out for doing my job in front of everyone."

Here was something of significance, Penelope was adept at reading people and knew in the next few minutes the mystery in Kayo's sudden change in mood would be explained. In fact she would put money on it that she could make a guess now and be somewhere close to the truth, but some things had to be spoken by the one hiding from it before they had any chance of letting them go and moving on.

"What do you mean?"

"He watches me, he doesn't say anything but more and more I have caught him just watching me casting his silent disapproval, I would have preferred the firestorm, the brutal Scott the Scott I can silence with a come-back when fighting my corner in an argument. I am just waiting for him to get it over with and ask me to leave."

A tear dropped onto her cheek and she was annoyed with herself and brushed it away, grabbing the bottle and topping herself up once more. This would be the last drink that Kayo would need what was truly bothering her was nearly out, the other stuff including her uncle had not really contributed to her self-depreciating mood, Penelope screwed the lid back on the bottle.

"I think you are mistaking his disapproval for concern and I think Kayo what Scott thinks of you has recently become more important to you."

Kayo looked at her intently, the truth behind her reason to run dawning on her for the first time.

"Oh god Penelope, I think I've …."

Penelope stopped her before she had chance to utter the words that could change everything "I think you might have but it's no reason to run from him. Go home Kayo, it can be how it was before if you are prepared to give it a chance."

"I don't think I should fly tomorrow I think you might find I am a little drunk!"

"I'll get one of the boys to pick you up, the sooner you are home the better."

"Not Scott."

"No. Not Scott, you don't have to tell him anything but you do have to allow them all in a little, consider your own behaviour have you really given them a chance."

She looked at her as she considered her last statement; she smiled a little, relaxing as the vodka started to hit now she had stopped drinking. The dark mood lifting, she was feeling better than she had done in days now she had put into words what had been bothering her and she once more closed her eyes to listen to the sound of the birds.

Penelope considered the options "I think one of those infamous bear hugs is what you need."