Title: Heart of Glass
Chapter: Two
Pairing: Fenyrs/OC
Chapter rating: T
Overall rating: M Couldn't be a SJM Fanfic if it wasn't
Word Count: 1k+

Alisha.

Was she still screaming? It felt like she was drowning. She could feel the waves crashing against the boat, rocking it violently. She didn't care.

Alisha

Isha wanted to be alone for weeks. Once they got on the boat, she crawled into bed and didn't want to climb out. She wanted weeks to get her emotions under control again.

He didn't ask her to talk, mentally or physically. She didn't think she could do the former, even if she'd tried. Her thoughts had been to jumbled and scattered that even she didn't know what she was thinking.

Her emotions were running wild. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't reign them in.

She wanted to feel something else… besides this overwhelming, numbing, grief. It probably wouldn't have been as bad, as painful, if she'd been able to grieve when she'd first heard of it as a kid, but she was an adult now.

And she shouldn't let it overwhelm her. Not when it was close enough to a decade since the event. She clenched her fists and was surprised to feel them move. She was surprised to have feeling in her body again.

She thoughts slowly started to organise themselves and she let out a sigh of relief. She didn't know how long she'd just laid in the bed, only getting up to go to the bathroom when she needed.

Being a water-user, she was never dehydrated. Her body felt stiff as she sat up, only then realising that Fenyrs wasn't holding her. Her heart dropped into her stomach.

She sat up, something in her hand gleaming against the moonlight. Looking down, she saw a knife. With fresh blood on it. Her hands… her body… was covered in blood. She had a sick feeling that it wasn't her own.

She shakily turned to the body next to her, the heat already fading. The knife clanked to the ground and she screamed. What had she done? She …

Alisha.

Was she still screaming? It felt like she was drowning. She could feel the waves crashing against the boat, rocking it violently. She didn't care. The ship could be shattered and everyone on it could drown. She'd burn it, if she had more than an ember of fire running through her veins.

Somebody was shaking her. She could hear them calling her name. She knew the voice, but she was drowning. She couldn't reach them.

Wake up.

Was she still sleeping? She wasn't all that sure. She had been awake, she knew she had been. She had seen his dead body. She couldn't have made that up. She couldn't have had a nightmare about killing the only person she truly trusted.

It was just a nightmare.

It couldn't have been. It was to vivid, to real. She felt water filling her lungs and she wasn't going to fight the feeling. She'd let her element, her magic, kill her.

She was done fighting. Especially if… especially if he were dead.

Open. Your. Eyes.

A command. A simple command that she wanted to ignore, but something… something she couldn't ignore. She forced her eyes open and saw Fenyrs hovering above her - one hand gripping her jaw to force her to look at him, the other gripping her shoulder.

The pain, the worry, the utter horror, in his eyes and face became her anchor and… even if this was just a dream… she'd tried to drown herself with her magick.

They were both drenched with the magick she'd lost control of. The boat stopped it's rocking and she could hear the sighs of relief from the passengers.

Despite her knowing that he knew she was… alright, for now, the look in his eyes… it was like he was trying to fight a battle that he couldn't. That, even though he knew that she wasn't drowning, he still couldn't help her in any other way than just by being there.

"I…" her throat felt raw. From disuse and from screaming. It hurt to force the words when she wasn't use to talking and after just getting air back into her lungs.

He jerked back slightly, his eyes widening in shock. Her mouth turned up into a weak, half, smile.

She tried again, this time a little clearer and louder. "I'm sorry." It was still soft, still weak, and her voice was shaking. She wasn't sure if it was all due to never talking or if it was from her own emotions.

"I'm fine, Fenyrs." With each word, she felt her voice getting stronger. Her throat wasn't feeling as sore as it had a few words before.

His hands slackened on her shoulders and his posture slightly relaxed.

"You've barely moved the last few days." he said softly, his voice raw with emotion. "and tonight…" his throat bobbed. "Tonight I could feel you slipping away. And I couldn't help you. I felt you stop fighting." His voice broke.

She opened her mouth to say something, tears filling her eyes. He shook his head. "You don't have anything to be sorry for." His voice was soft. "You haven't been able to properly sort through your emotions before. I thought… if you had time… that you'd feel better about… about everything."

She pulled his face down to hers. If this was the dream she got after drowning… she hoped it never ended. "I will be alright, Fenyrs." she said softly. "I just… I didn't expect to… not be able to pull myself back from the pain I had to lock away."

They were both crying, she realised, as she tipped her head up and kissed him. Unlike the last time, he didn't waste any time before kissing her back. "I''ll always come back." She murmured against his lips as she wiped away his tears. "I want you, Fenyrs." She whispered.

Isha felt like they were both hardly breathing. And maybe they weren't. She could feel his tears mixing with her own. She wasn't embarrassed about crying. Not in front of him. If it was anyone else…

She refused to think about anytime other than now. She wanted to cherish whatever was happening between them. Whatever sliver of control they possessed was close to snapping.